Do we really need relationship drama to make relationships work?

[pinkk]

A Quote from Carried Bradshaw
"Do we really need relationship drama to make relationships work? "

[chicafabulosa]

No, because it just stresses you both

[aquacharly]

No, no, no.   But more oftentimes, it can't be avoided. 

[sistah!]

no one really needs drama. but like aquacharly said, it can't be avoided. and then there are those who seem to feed into that kind of thing.

[dkbgutierrez]

Sometimes, when some things are left unspoken.

[mrsB]

Sometimes, nagda-drama ako sa asawa ko para may spice. He's very kind kasi, subtle and giving and generous. Kaya nga ang sabi ng bestfriend ko, BORING COUPLE daw kami kasi nga parang napaka-straight ng life namin. Kahit noong magbf-gf pa lang kami. Kaya yun, minsan inaaway ko talaga intentionally para maiba naman. Kaso predictable pa rin ang kalalabasan, aamuin pa rin ako at lalambingin. Hehe.

[quinone]

ayoko ng drama. i don't even like watching drama on tv, sa totoong buhay pa kaya? antagal na rin namin ng hubby ko, pero di naman kami ma.drama, so hindi talaga kailangan ng drama in my opinion.

[bucketsale]

i think yes we need to spice up our relationship with our partner.. konting tampuhan...

[ishopnowfeelguiltylater]

dati epektib na spice sa relationship namin ang pagdadrama ko. pero since nabisto na niya ako na pagnagdadrama ako, may gusto lang ako ipabili o lugar na gusto puntahan, di na umepek. 

[fegloria1954]

No, you do not need relationship drama, if the drama you refer to is something that is negative.

What you could do is work on your:
- communication of feelings (name the feeling then describe it in terms of color, scale of 1 to 10, picture or image of nature, shared experience, etc.) and not just the everyday things like what you will eat, what you want to buy, etc.
- couple intimacy (this does not refer to sexual relationship) by being more willing to bare yourself to your spouse in terms of your fears, your dreams, your opinions, your thoughts, your plans, etc. trusting that anything you tell your spouse will not be used in a bad light, and that instead it is a way for the two of you to get to know each other at a deeper level

Mommy Fe

[agape]

No.
I don't like my feelings to be manipulated
or to manipulate my partner's feelings.
Except for PMS cases na hindi ko sinasadya. 

But I guess, for conflicts, it could help that you both learn how to control yourself
and also pacify/satisfy your partner, para less drama.

Too much drama, nakakasawa and nakakapagod din, sooner or later, both of you will have
not just empty but negative emotional bank accounts.

[Golinda]

I believe its a general feeling that drama isnt necessary in the relationship. Pero like what ms. Aqua, it cant be avoided. What i wanna know now is 'kung kusang nagiging madrama ang relationship/buhay mo, ano ba ang pwede gawin para mag normalize na lang sya?'

[shinta]

^Siguro i-identify mo muna what's causing the drama, at yun ang gawan nyo ng solution. Minsan kasi, yung couple mismo (or one of them) is the cause.

Sa'min ng hubby ko, ako yung madrama. Pero I realized na mas okay yung communication kesa drama. Pag may gusto ako o di gusto sa kanya at sa ginagawa niya, I tell him straight. Di ko na dinadaan sa drama para wala na ding tampuhan. Na-stress kasi ako pag nagtatampuhan kami, kahit sino pa ang may kasalanan. So iwas drama, iwas tampuhan, iwas stress.

[Golinda]

Ang issue namin eh perfectionist ako at sya naman ay super relaxed. Lahat ng details napapansin at gusto ko maayos. Sya naman lahat binabalewala o pinapagpabukas, linggo, buwan o taon.. Dun na lumalabas yun drama ko na wala sya pakialam sa wellbeing namin kesyo un pagbababad nya sa extra curricular activities eh ifocus na lang nya samin at sa magiging baby namin..

[shinta]

^Kailangan nyong pag-usapan differences nyo sis. Both have to adjust. Even if you feel na mas tama yung side mo, isipin mo pa din that he wasn't brought up the same way as you were, so give him time to adjust. One tip din na nabasa ko from a book, when you talk to a guy to change his ways, don't make it appear as if you're criticizing him, kasi magiging defensive siya. When you want him to change, you should present a reason na favorable to him.

[Golinda]

Oh so mismo ang pagka defensive nya at dun start ng away.. Ang madalas naman nyang drama eh 'minsan lang ako humingi, pagbigyan mo na ako dito'. Ang unfair yata naman nun. Di ba dapat bawat issue eh himayin at maresolve na may compromise sa both sides? Pag ganun sya eh di kahit gano kabaluktot ng hinihingi nya bow na lang ako?

[shinta]

^ no sis. wag bow ng bow sa gusto niya. tama na dapat pag-usapan ang issue and find the middle ground. but change your approach when you want him to do something that he doesn't want to do. don't make it confrontational kasi dun madalas nag-start yung drama. he won't do it your way unless he sees that your way is better than his way.

kaya madalas men are resisting kasi iniisip nila, wala namang masama sa ginagawa nila. so don't contradict that, pero show him that the other option will yield something much better - for him and for you. dapat lagi may "what's in it for him". sounds selfish on his part, pero a lot of men are emotionally inept. dun sila lagi sa kung san sila mas masaya.

pero meron din na sensitive to the needs of his wife and family. but for those who don't, sometimes it's the women who need to be creative in finding a solution. we're not all married to men who understand the phrase "it takes two to tango", so we need to take the lead. that is, if you want to make the relationship work.

[Golinda]

Thanks shinta. Adjustment pa talaga kami. Pero i know both of us are trying.

[shinta]

Welcome sis. Kami din, dami pang need i-adjust. Our relationship is far from being perfect but it's working. Tsaka less drama na ngayon, and it's much better that way.

[Myealexis21]

Dati I was ma-drama - but now I don't like drama...as much as possible I try to avoid it.  So far ok naman kami...and mas ok kami ngayon na hindi na ako madrama LOL!