Help! My eldest is a spoiled brat :(

[Cocoyow]

Im seriously frustrated with my eldest. Shes 1 year 8 months now. lahat dinadaan nya sa iyak. It started when our new baby arrived. im so stressed. Gusto ko alagaan din eldest ko pero gusto nya lagi magpabuhat and super active na sya ngayon, dko masabayan kasi cs ako with my 2nd baby and di ako pwede pa magbuhat ng mabigat. Ang bait bait nya before, and lahat pinupuri pagiging behave nya, then biglang nagbago sya. I know darating yung point na mag selos sya sa new baby, pero ewan ko kung kasama pagiging sobrang iyakin nya bigla. And naging salbahe din sya, pag may di sya gusto ihahagis nya. Wala pa si hubby with me para makatulong. So ako and yaya ang nagaalaga ng kids. Si yaya naman lagi nadadaan sa iyak din, kahit binigyan ko na ng authority na pagalitan o wag papaisa sa bata..

[khriseeee]

She's probably having a hard time adjusting to the new baby. Kids that young do not know how to deal with their feelings nor do they know how to express themselves so they resort in tantrums, crying and acting out. You said so yourself she was a good kid before the new baby came.

She's still young so I'm not sure what the best way of explaining the new situation with her. She is looking for attention

[1choi_ko9]

your eldest needs your attention. And yes tama, she's having a hard time to adjust. Kase before she used to be the only one, yung baby ng lahat...ngayon nahati attention ng number 1 fan nya which is you... Dont worry it will pass. You just need to show her that now she's an ate na... and show her you love her also kahit hindi mo buhatin. Iexpress mo lang yung love mo for her and give her your attention also

[chicafabulosa]

Maybe sis she is just adjusting pa rin. She used to be the center of your attention but now meron na syang kashare. One thing i learned from my pedia in case daw sundan namin baby namin is prepare my kid. Or if andyan na let her feel she is needed like, call her ate, please get baby's milk.. Stuff like those.. Or ate baby wants you to hug her/him. Let her feel na eventhough andyan na si new baby, she is still loved. Minsan kasi feeling nila di na natin sila love pag andyan. Before when we say to my son do you want another baby he would say no, makulit daw new baby. But we try to prepare him in case magkababy kame ulit like i call him kuya and tell him stories like if andito na your new baby dapat bantay mo sya ha. Baka awayin and kunin kasi ng witch. Takot ang witch sayo eh kaya ikaw ang better protector ni baby...

And in case umiiyak, hug her tight... Trust me if nagwawala super ang anak ko, a tight hug calms him down and he would stop crying little by little.. And also pala always tell your eldest i love you all the time pa rin and always give her a hug and kiss.. It will do wonders..

[khriseeee]

Try involving her more in the daily activities of the new baby - choosing her outfit, choosing her toy for playtime. It may be harder and take longer to do things but she'll feel like she's part of the situation rather than being left out

[Cocoyow]

Thank you sisses, nakatulong mga advice nyo. honestly, di ko sya gaano na prepare nung pregnant ako with my second. nag improve na behavior nya ngayon kahit minsan may pagka brat padin. shes kissing her baby sister na, and even want to feed her. dko mapigilan maiyak or ma touch kapag ganun sya kasi grabe talaga sya nung simula. minsan struggling padin ako pano ko hahatiin yung time kasi pag nag bbreastfeed ako saka sya biglang mangungulit sakin and magpapabasa ng book nya or play.

And i love the hug advice, ill try to do it to her.. Kasi ang tendency ko minsan pag umiiyak sya napapagalitan ko and i make her stop kaya tendency tatakbo sya kay yaya then dun magpapaamo. It honestly hurts me.

Now i can see nakakapag adjust na din sya unti unti

[chicafabulosa]

Hi sis cocoyow, the hug advice was told to me by my pedia. It was the best form of discipline daw to kids when they are on tantrums. Its the best way for us parents to say "enough".. But with a touch of love daw... Di daw natin dapat sinasabayan ang galit ng bata. Although may mga parents na from time to time they will snap,but we need to make sure to hug them daw to reinforce them na we love them...

[sistah!]

i think it helps to hug it out talaga. it might also help if you set aside an hour of the day na dedicated for the panganay. it will be a special time where you play with her, read to her or just do whatever she wants. she'll feel very special

[showermist]

That's not being spoiled.

Sa case ninyo ng anak mo, pag umiyak ang bata, do not give in.

That is working right now dahil alam nyang effective. She cried, you all gave in to her 'whims.' Siguro iniisip mo na wala pang 2years old anak mo, kesyo hindi pa nya kayang mag isip ng ganun. Believe me, kayang kaya na nila. Yung new born nga can communicate to her mom what she wants eh, yung 2 years old pa.

You will know when she cries na nag iinarte/ o may gusto sya from you. If that happens, let her cry for 15-20 minutes. Hindi sya mamatay kung hayaan mo lang syang umiyak. Kasi mararamdaman nyang it will not work, so hindi na nya ulet gagawin. BUT, it will not happen once. Siguro mga 5-10 beses bago nya magets na her crying will not get her what she wants.

Alam mo rin kung yung iyak nya eh --there's something wrong: nasaktan, etc.

ALSO, give her the attention pa rin. You should make sure to make time for her. Remember she' still on developmental stage.

[Cocoyow]

Thanks mga sis!  being a mom is a journey talaga. Madami kapa din kailangan matutunan