Author Topic: Forgiveness  (Read 5067 times)

virt_train

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Forgiveness
« on: November 07, 2012, 01:01:29 pm »
How do you manage when you offended someone, you ask for their forgiveness but the affected person does not want to forgive you? 

erin1992

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Re: Forgiveness
« Reply #1 on: November 15, 2012, 06:28:48 pm »
ako, when i ask for forgiveness, i do everything that i can para mapatawad nya 'ko pero kapag ayaw nya pa rin, dumidistansya na muna ako para makapag-isip isip din sya. hindi naman kasi lahat ng problema mareresolba ng agad agad, it takes time pa rin.
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aquacharly

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Re: Forgiveness
« Reply #2 on: November 15, 2012, 07:48:49 pm »
^that's true. 

Forgiving takes time - a short time, a long time, total vs partial forgiveness -- it is a very personal issue that cannot be dictated on.   It isn't automatic that an act of asking for forgiveness, even if backed up with True Remorse & Reform,  automatically garners Forgiveness. 

If Forgiveness is withheld --  what can you do?  Nothing. 
If your remorse is true -- then, just do not repeat whatever acts of omission or commission you did that needs forgiving. 

Pray that The Unforgiving is gifted with the grace of Acceptance.  I believe that after Acceptance, Forgiveness  comes easier. 

aubrey888

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Re: Forgiveness
« Reply #3 on: December 13, 2012, 10:30:24 am »
^ true!  I so can relate to this.  Forgiveness takes time and you cannot impose on someone when and how you'd be forgiven.  This word is very personal to me...  Prayed for the longest time to finally let go of my grudges and ill feelings to my grand mother (father side) and I think yesterday was the perfect answer...

For more than 20 years, i am not talking nor communicating with her.  Very civil kami mag-usap and kung magkita man siguro hi or hello lang once in a year or madalang sobra.  Medyo complicated the issue but to cut the story short, nagtanim ako ng galit and remorse sa kanya for taking for granted my family (my dad actually who is suppossedly her son) and my mom whom she slapped on the face (which I saw when I was still a kid).  She'd shout on my mom in front of other people, ipagsisigawan sa mga tao para ipakita na galit siya sa mommy ko, cursed us to the point of saying "babagsak din mga yan!".

30 years ago, mahirap ang buhay namin diko maikakaila yun...  While my grandmother before was one of the wealthiest in our place.  She re-married a foreigner (ex-navy) and so every month may dumadating na pension aside from her husband's income. Nagsikap mga magulang ko para mapagtapos ako ng pag-aaral.   In short, itinakwil family namin (including my dad) because she doesn't want my mom for my dad.  Outcast kami lagi...  May mga ampon siya na sila ang nakikinabang sa pera niya but wala siya narinig sa amin...

Sa sobrang galit ko sa kanya ni hindi ko siya matawag na lola...  Parang binura ko sa isip ko part sila ng family ko and I don't want to be associated with them...  Sobrang nasaktan talaga ako sa mga pangyayari to the point of asking my dad kung totoo bang anak siya ng kinikilala niyang ina.

When her husband died, naghirap siya sa buhay.  In short, bumaliktad ang mga pangyayari...  Yung mga dating kasama niya sa bahay na umubos ng pera niya, iniwan siya.  Yung mga taong akala niya kakampi niya, sila ang mga lumoko sa kanya.  But she didn't hear any from my dad.  Bilib ako sa tatay ko ni hindi ko narinig sagutin siya despite nung mga ginawa niya samin...

I'm praying so hard to forgive and forget the past but still I cannot forgive her.  Until I went to a church yesterday and someone told me to forgive...  I was crying because he doesn't even know me for telling those words...  My mom told me to just let go and accept that those things that happend before was part of life and that I have to be thankful pa nga because those things made me strong and challenged me to strive harder.  I was relieved and gradually I am starting to accept and hopefully, learn to forgive...

I am planning to give her a visit first quarter next year... 

showermist

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Re: Forgiveness
« Reply #4 on: December 13, 2012, 10:38:18 am »
I am under this distress right now but I am not the one asking for forgiveness. She is. And I am not ready to forgive.

You have to understand na mahirap din palang magpatawad. Lalo na kung talagang nakasakit ka. It will take time.

snowflakes

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Re: Forgiveness
« Reply #5 on: December 13, 2012, 11:17:37 am »
Mas masakit pag mahalaga sayo yung taong nakasakit sayo. Pero di ko maintindihan bakit mas nangingibabaw ang galit nila sayo kung simpleng bagay lang kinasama ng loob nya at di ka nya magawang mapatawad?

TowBerryBlue

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Re: Forgiveness
« Reply #6 on: December 13, 2012, 09:36:13 pm »
Forgiving someone is actually easy and hard at the same time. Ako, I am learning how to forgive someone kasi gusto ko na ma free ang sarili ko sa hatred and grudges sa taong un. Yung process ng forgiveness ang mahirap. Sobrang iiyak ka talaga pero once na overcome mo un, masarap ang feeling. Ako, I'm getting there. Mahirap kasi I have to forgive myself din eh and there are things na di ko kaya i-forgive ng ganun ganun na lang so kailangan ma prove ko sa sarili ko na worthy ako na i-forgive ang sarili ko. when that happens, wala na akong self-pity and I can gain my confidence ulit.
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ladyisabella

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Re: Forgiveness
« Reply #7 on: December 29, 2012, 06:56:44 am »
ako hanggat maari, ayoko na pag usapan, makita, or ayoko ng may malaman ako sa mga taong nakasakit sakin.. Bakit?? in that way, nakakalimutan ko sila, nawawalan ako ng interest sa taong yun, eventually nawawala din ang galit.. Then pag maaalala ko ulet, matatawa nalang ako kase buti nalang di ko pinag aksayahan ng panahon yung mga ganong tao, bawas stress pa. I choose to be happy, kesa ma stress sa walang kwentang mga tao. :)
..Just another lesson to be learned, Gotta move on and  not lose faith
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lareina

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Re: Forgiveness
« Reply #8 on: January 16, 2013, 08:11:44 pm »
I've forgiven those who hurt me.. even if they did not even say sorry.. pati present enemies ko (mga nang aaway sa akin)
my updated version :P

Mcct1229

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Re: Forgiveness
« Reply #9 on: February 03, 2013, 10:28:57 pm »
How do you manage when you offended someone, you ask for their forgiveness but the affected person does not want to forgive you?

You asked for sincere forgiveness and I think that's all.  Whether or not they accept your apologies, it's no longer your problem..it's their issue not yours anymore...so move on with your life, don't get stuck waiting for them to forgive you!

piatos

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Re: Forgiveness
« Reply #10 on: February 14, 2013, 04:28:12 pm »
Im taking my time.  Mahirap talaga gawin pero kakayanin ko para mabawasan na rin yung bigat ng dinadala ko.

clouds_1028

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Re: Forgiveness
« Reply #11 on: February 18, 2013, 06:17:26 am »
^At TS, if you are truly sorry for what you have done, a sincere sorry is enough. You don't have to do any other things just to make up to the person because even if you do so, if that person doesn't want to forgive you easily or at that moment, your effort will just be a waste. Its up to that person to accept your forgiveness. It may take time but you have to accept it. Just do your part and hope for the best.  ;)
Live a happy and positive life.

nessy

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Re: Forgiveness
« Reply #12 on: February 23, 2013, 09:41:44 am »
ako, dito rin ako anhihirapan. mag-forgive.

maraming tao ang nakapanakit sa akin (relatives, friends and special people) yong iba doon, nakalimutan ko na rin. so, na forgivek o na. pero yong iba, talagang hindi ko magawa. siguro nga it will take time,since recently rin lang iyong mga nangyari. pero talagang pag naaalala ko, hindi ko maiwasang magalit.
ito pa ang isa sa pinag-aawayan namin ni hubby.

Hindi daw ao maka "let go. and let God".
eh ano magagawa ko, alangan naman sabihin ko at magpaka-plastic na okay na ako kahit hindi naman talaga.
at ang mahirap pa, itong mga taong ito eh never asked for forgiveness. So, siguro isa pa iyon sa factor why I can't forgive talaga.

What I do though is pray. Na sana i will find peace para ma forgive ko na sila.
Sure God created man before woman.  But then you always make a rough draft before the final masterpiece.

brendzy

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Re: Forgiveness
« Reply #13 on: April 03, 2013, 02:22:19 pm »
mahirap talaga na magforgive, it will really takes time. ako naman, I had forgiven them na pero parang nahihirapan ako kalimutan yung nagawa nila. And things will never be the same. confusing no? but I still pray na sana I will learn to forget na yun so I can fully move on.
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angelzero

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Re: Forgiveness
« Reply #14 on: April 03, 2013, 02:41:39 pm »
I remembered offending my friend when we were about to graduate in college. I was very insensitive and only realized it after the argument when we left the classroom. I think that happened a month before graduation. I only got the courage to say sorry during graduation. It was only through a letter since I'm not good with saying sorry out loud. I got to express my sincerest apologies with no excuses. She didn't talk to me right away. She only did during our post-graduation outing. That day, she gave everyone a copy of her favorite book except me. She gave me a different gift. I thought to myself, hadn't I apologized she wouldn't have given me anything. Her gift to me was like a last-minute purchase. Hehe. No big deal. Now she's one of my closest friends. She couldn't even remember that incident. Everytime she asks if I read that favorite book of hers I tell her No. Cuz she didn't give me one and she insisted she gave everyone a copy. I just avoid recalling how that happened.  :P
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jaemi33

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Re: Forgiveness
« Reply #15 on: April 19, 2013, 10:35:32 am »
Forgiving someone really takes time. I think the time it takes will depend with the person and also the degree of pain you've experienced from it.

My father and I didn't had a good relationship since I was child. Let's say he have said stuff that really left scar on me. My parents had a divorced so I moved in with my mother's relatives and from that point, I stopped seeing him. My relatives and mom told me to see him even once a year but I have already and completely closed my heart for him, but after 3 years of not seeing him, I finally decided to visit him. He looked surprised seeing me and we sat in front of the T.V awkwardly but at the same time seeing him once again surprisingly didn't refreshen the wound he had caused, then I have realized that I have already forgiven him. We didn't had a really long conversation but before I leave, he run after me and gave me an apple and chocolate, saying I should take care. He looked and acted so different than before. after a year of that, he passed away. after that, I dreamt of him saying sorry to me and how much he had loved me. Now, I realized that since I was young back then I wasn't able to understand those hurtful words he had said to me wasn't really his sincere feeling. He was just a man who can't express his feelings properly. Now, everytime I see his picture I smile.  :)

Another story of  forgiveness is about my bestfriend, who is now my ex-bestfriend. we drifted apart when another friend got in between us and destroyed our friendship but what I was really hurt was that she let other person ruined our relationship. She was having so much fun that she became blind of what we have compare to what she is having now. She have already said words that hurt me even though I know unconsciously she didnt really mean it but her pride is getting on her. After 5 months of not talking, I randomly bumped into her, I thought the time was already enough for us to both act civil but it didnt happen. Again, her pride ate her up and it was so obvious how she tried to act like she was having fun with her new friends, while I just let her do her own things and I just continued to have fun with the friend I was with. I don't know if I have forgiven her completely but seeing her still reminds me of those words she had said. I guess we still need time or maybe she does because obviously she was not ready to throw her pride and even I tried to fix the sitiation, if she wasn't ready it's not going to end up well.

love.m.i.

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Re: Forgiveness
« Reply #16 on: June 18, 2013, 06:09:03 pm »
Hmm, it never happened pa naman for me. If I offended someone, I can easily switch my actions into loving actions to let the person feel, things are ok between us.  At times, we could be upset with the situation, might feel grumpy, but we never should say bad words to hurt people.

In the past, I hurt people, when I was very young then.  I confessed them to the priest already.  Cant do anything about the past.  (Same with you...)

Similarly, perhaps, in your case, you've said sorry, if you continue to see each other (at home/workplace?), keep humble, perhaps smile? or put head down.  If I were in your position, I will always include the person in my prayer, that God do something to bridge the gap.  That I love the person.  For the person to forgive me.  For me to forgive myself and move on with life, with less burden as God would not want me to suffer any more.  I'll also confess to the priest.  My conscience will be cleared.   I'll be happy, and Thy will be done -- if the person will still connect with me or not.  Would not matter anymore, because, I'm contented that I did my part and became favorable in God's eyes.

superjuzh

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Re: Forgiveness
« Reply #17 on: July 24, 2013, 02:22:38 pm »
Madali ako magpatawad kahit sila mag sorry kahit gano pa kabigat ang kasalanan nila. Pero kung sobrang laki mapapatawad ko pero asahan nila hindi ko na sila kakausapin lahat ng paraan para malayo sakanilao aputol ang communucation gagawin ko. Mabilis akong mawalan ng gana sa mga ganyan.

sunako16

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Re: Forgiveness
« Reply #18 on: July 29, 2013, 06:59:09 pm »
 :-\

hmm ginagawa ko ang lahat para makita niya ang sincerity ko tapos susuyuin ko at ipapakita ko na talagang inaamin ko na nagkamali ako sakanya at willing akong magbago o bumawi..

pero kung talagang ayaw niya akong patawarin bibigyan ko lang siya ng space at time... kasi hindi naman basta basta madaling makapagpatawad lalo na kung mabigat ang kasalanan
God is forever good! :) I trust Him with all of my heart...

aquacharly

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Re: Forgiveness
« Reply #19 on: July 29, 2013, 08:45:22 pm »
mahirap talaga na magforgive, it will really takes time. ako naman, I had forgiven them na pero parang nahihirapan ako kalimutan yung nagawa nila. And things will never be the same. confusing no? but I still pray na sana I will learn to forget na yun so I can fully move on.


"...And forgive us our sins,
    As we forgive those who sin against us......"

I used to be the former & then overgrown poster child of:
    "It is hard to Forgive; & almost impossible to Forget."
The most I could achieve was:   Accept that Sh1t Hits even The Undeserving.

But, on a recent trip to Lourdes, France --  where I intentionally wanted to be.
Where I intentionally went to undergo the Sacrament of Reconciliation, among other activities...
    I went prepared, in all humility with a listing of my trespasses & lapses.
It's said that a good Christian must make others see Christ in him.   
Well, this priest sure did.
He said just 2 things:   
       If you seek God's Forgiveness, & expect rightly His Love will readily forgive you -- then as readily too you will forgive others.
       Each day, just try to be a better person.  That's all.



So there, BRENDZY --  yes, I too find it very  hard to forgive.
But we must. 
Well, sabi FORGIVE di ba.. Nothing about FORGETTING --  hahaha, so there.




 


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