Money Set Up When Married

[lastborngirl]

Even before getting married, may pinapadala si hubby sa akin na money to support our son. Hindi kalakihan kasi humahati pa mga relatives nya. Ang ginagawa ko pag may work sya (sea based kasi) minimal lang kinukuha kong pang gastos sa sweldo nya kasi tinatabi ko para sa time na umuuwi sya kasi wala syang work nun. Ako nagbabayad ng lahat ng bills. Pero kahit ako ang nagshoshoulder ng gastos namen pag may work sya, nakakapag-ipon pa ako ng sarili kong money. Meron akong sariling credit card for emergency.

Now na kasal na kami, sa akin na mapupunta sweldo nya. Wapakels na ang relatives. I have now resources to save more para sa bahay.

[biyach]

Sabi ng boyfriend ko, pag mag-asawa na kami, siya bahala sa lahat. Yung pera ko, sa akin daw. Allowance ko.

Sweet deal?

sweetest deal, fakner!

When I was still working, he pays for all the bills, while I pay for food. We never combined our earnings, but we both know how much each earns. Now that I am a SAHM, he just handed me his ATM last Tuesday, still clueless how I'm gonna manage our money. Though, we had ran through the list of payables and savings, it still feels new to be in charge, knowing how impulsive I am. But good thing, Saudi isn't the best place to shop nor the best place for a woman to go anywhere on her own.  Maybe, those were the reasons why he gave me the ATM, he knows I cant just go anywhere unless he's around!

[narz83]

this is also one of the things i want to know or gusto ko idiscuss kay boyfriend before we get married. but i don't know how to tell him. before when we were still new lagi nya sinasabi sya bahala sa lahat pero lately dami ko naririnig sa kanyang bayarin. tsk tsk

[j.adore]

As in ikaw mag bayad or he's just sharing current expenses niya?

Siguro pag light yung ambience tapos nagkkwetuhan kayo saka Ok ibring up hehe. Or depends on your personalities kung pano niyo pag usapan serious topics.

[purplegravity]

Oh, we havent yet talked about it.  I will ask my fiance.

[outandaboutph]

Sa amin na yata ni hubby ko ang pinakamagulo ang set up.. sabagay kahit noong mag bf gf pa lang kami magulo na lahat  Sa amin, generally, ako lahat gumagastos and nagbabayad. Napapagastos lang si hubby kapag may gusto siya or need na bilhin na wala ako sa sa tabi niya haha. Hindi din nagbibigay sa akin si hubby. Ang kinikita niya tinatabi niya lang and who knows kung saan niya dinadala pero sabi niya iniipon niya daw. Hindi ako masyado concern, mahalaga lang sa akin kapag nashort budget ko, nakakakuha ako sa kaniya. Madalas binabalik ko din naman kapag malalaking amount pero kapag maliit lang kalimutan na lang. Ang gulo noh parang hindi mag asawa.

[simang]

^never nyo pinagusapan ever? ang hirap naman nun, partnership-wise..

----

We talked about this a few days ago lang, and we both agreed to stick to what works for us now -- that is to keep each other's salaries on our own, but we share sa expenses half-half. We also have a joint account para sa savings and emergency fund namin.

[funky f]

sis outandaboutph, ang bait mo! di pwede sa 'kin yung ganung set-up, haha...well, whatever works for you.  kanya kanya naman yan =)

[Annie M.]

All our monthly gastos is covered by his salary, including our weekly 'luho' allowance.

Yung sweldo ko becomes savings and investments.

So essentially, we live on one income kahit pareho kami na working.

[outandaboutph]

sisses simang funky f mahirap nga talaga iyong set up namin parang anytime magkakagulo, sensitive topic pa naman ang pera sa relasyon

^naka-relate ako sa iyo sis.. Sana may SSS ka and PhilHealth para makabawas sa gastos. Hubby and in-laws ko din gusto na kami magkababy noon, kahit wala kaming ipon that time. Then noong nagbuntis na ako, parang nananadya lang, CS ako. I don't know if anong sinabi ni hubby sa father niya, pero pinadalhan siya ng 20k so iyon ang naging share ni hubby sa gastusin noong nanganak ako then the rest ako na. Ang isa pang magiging problem diyan sis eh kapag nandiyan na ang baby, sana lang if hindi man siya magshare sa gastos, sana sa pag alaga tumulong naman

[momlory]

Yung setup namin ni hubby. Sa parents at mga kapatid niya napupunta lahat ng kita niya. Tapos kulangg pa may utang pa siya.

Yung para samin ako lahat ang nagbabayad. Pano kung may problem kami sa money. That's the time na inaaway ko siya. At narinig ng mother niya one time na pinagtatanong ko hubby ko kung san napupunta money niya. Kesyo masama raw loob.

We have been married for a year now wala pa rin pagbabago. this is the cause of our unhappiness also. Yung pamilya niya!

Sabi ko nga mas makakabuti pang wag na siya magtrabaho at least hindi nanghihingi family niya at wala pa siyang utang. Kesa naman may work siya at may utang pa.

Napagbubuntungan ko ng galit ang hubby ko though napakabait niya talaga pero kasi ang reason kung bakit kami short sa budget is family niya and kasalanan niya rin.

Baka meron kayong advice for us. Kung paano namin ito  aayusin. I have talk to hubby about it already pero gusto ko kausapin mother niya. Pero pano ko pagsasabihan hindi ko alam.

[Priceless]

^Before you got married, did you guys talk about your finances, commitments and your plans for the future?

Before you sit down and talk with hubby, I suggest do your homework first. List down all your monthly "operating" expenses (rent, utilities, food, transpo, etc), and also include a breakdown of what you currently pay for (to banks - credit cards, other obligations, etc), and who pays for it. Then when you speak to him, do a breakdown of how much each of you really earns (aka take home pay), and compare that with all your outgoings. Do not include in this analysis muna kung ano ano ang binibigay nyo sa inyong respective families kasi you just want to establish first how much you need to "live" the lives you have and be able to go to work to earn more, etc.

Once you've had this conversation with your husband, saka nyo pag usapan kung paano nyo pagkakasyahin ang incomes nyo to support your extended families na rin - and decide how much you can actually spare to support them/give to them.

I suggest that you both have to have facts on hand so that you can decide on a rational basis kung ano talaga ang pinagkakagastusan nyo, kasi mahirap na kalaban ang emotional dependence ng family nya sa husband mo. I don't think its your place to talk to your mother in law at this point, it's your husband's responsibility to balance his role as a son/brother and as a husband, and that includes managing his obligation to you and to his family.

[sarsingkit]

^I think it is unfair. Kasi kahit mas capable sya to pay eh you agreed to do 50-50 tapos tatawad pa sya ng 70-30. Parang ang labo naman nun. Sis, why don't you let him know how much you earn, by that he knows that he is more capable to pay because he now knows that has bigger salary than you do.

[bagaholic_chewy]

^^ sis, if he asks for the breakdown ng pera mo, then it's just fair na iask mo din sya san napupunta pera nya. Kumbaga, latag everything on the table na, if you wish. Kasi parang unfair yung set-up nyo. He earns more, minsan malaki pa binabayad mo sa rent, tapos wala pa din sya savings? Pano yung ibang expenses nyo, like utilities, groceries, car, etc, pano ang hatian nyo?

Habang maaga mag-usap na kayo sis, and agree on your financial set-up (like, contribution for your monthly expenses and for "family savings", etc). Mahirap yan, makakasanayan nya, baka eventually ikaw na halos gumagastos sa bahay tapos sya di mo alam san napupunta pera at wala pa din savings.. you don't have to pool your resources naman. Kelangan lang ng mas malinaw na arrangement, like hindi yung ngayon hati, next time 70-30 na for one reason or another na di mo mawari.

and if I were you, I'll understate the declared amount of personal savings (or perhaps, better don't mention it at all, haha). Buffer mo na yan for any emergencies.

[calovescaia]

Our set up is this:

Every pay day he gives me most of his income, minus money for himself.
I pay for all the bills (credit card, water, helpers, investments, etc.)

I have savings from my salary and he has savings from his salary. Pero we only use them pag emergency. All the wants purchases namin are charged sa credit card so we pay them in full every month.

[mreyes]

In our case hindi combined Siguro dahil wala pa kami baby. Ako working siya naman selfemployed. Ayoko din kasi na inoobliga siya kahit na obligation niya yun. Hehe Basta if may kelangan bayaran share, minsan naman siya lang, minsan ako lang. For me kasi hindi porke mag-asawa na kayo dapat yung hubby mo lang ang sagot.

[j.adore]

Our set up is the same except we deduct monthly contributions for our families. Same amount kahit na isang side lang yung nangangailangan because I find it unfair otherwise.

I get sad reading situation of our other Sissies here.. Kaya I'm a firm believer na bago ikasal o magsama, these things should be talked and agreed upon.

[quinone]

I get sad reading situation of our other Sissies here.. Kaya I'm a firm believer na bago ikasal o magsama, these things should be talked and agreed upon.

i agree. chaka i don't know kung bakit yung iba nalalaman lang nila yung spending habits after getting married?

[simang]

^feeling ko napagusapan naman nila yan before getting married or living together, baka naman nagbago lang talaga ang dynamics ng gastos ng either party? haha baka lang.

sis book_mags, unfair naman yata na napapadalas ang 70-30 na share ninyo. be firm na lang next time na hindi sya mag agree sa 50-50 dapat, baka kase akala nya okay lang sayo kaya napapadalas.

[quinone]

^nakakatakot mag guarantor huh. if that person fails to pay his/her utang kayo magbabayad. parang bato yan na ipinukpok mo sa sarili mo kapag nagkataon.

for momlory, books_mags, and all the others here in the same situation...minsan may mga tao na ang cycle ng buhay e magtrabaho para makapagbayad ng utang, tapos ipangungutang yung pambili ng pagkain at pambayad ng utilities sa bahay. huwag kayo magpadamay sa ganyang klase ng life style.

books_mags, dapat lang siguraduhin mo na lahat ng gastos hati kayo, 50/50. mahirap pa kung iisipin mo na x3 naman sweldo niya, kasi sasama lang ang loob mo. wag na wag ka lang magbigay ni isang kusing sa relatives niya. hayaan mo siya magipit, huwag mo pautangin. huwag ka papayag na 70-30. kung halimbawa wala siyang pambayad ng half niya for kuryente, huwag mo bayaran ang kuryente. i-display mo lang yung bill somewhere to remind him na hindi ka magbabayad kung wala pa yung half niya. kung hindi siya magbigay ng half niya for grocery, huwag ka rin mag grocery. sa labas ka magbreakfast, lunch, at dinner.

baka kasi akala niya nandiyan ka lagi na pwede sumalo ng mga pagkukulang niya sayo o baka di niya nare-realize na may pagkukulang pala siya. about sa baby, baka kaya hindi niya iniintindi na mag-ipon in case ma-CS ka o ma-bedrest, baka kasi iniisip niya katawan mo naman yun therefore ikaw may sagot ng pang ospital mo? kasi nga diba kanya-kanya kayo ng expenses.

well, baka mali itong mga advice ko sayo pero hindi ko maintindihan bakit parang hindi man lang nagpe-prepare yang hubby mo para sa future ninyo/walang foresight? (wala ba kayong balak mag out-of-town/country, may savings ba siya for that? savings para sa pag-aaral ng baby? may health insurance ba kayo/investment? dine-date ka ba niya na siya lahat ang taya sa gastos?) anyway, sana hindi kita na-offend at sana mahimasmasan na hubby mo.