He's a whiner

[N.]

I'm recently having problems with my guy. He's been acting all depressed and negative. He's just got into law school, and it has been pretty tough. He's the perfectionist kind of guy- he graduated cum laude plus he's a star (chos) in the basketball court. Really not used to the feeling of failure. And just recently he failed his exam, and started acting all depressed and f***ed up. He complains that he is tired from studying. So I'd say take a break and rest. He complains of being not good enough, so I'd tell him otherwise, and he his achievements are the blatant proof of it. He complains of not having a happy childhood that might affect what he is right now, so I'd tell him not to dwell to much in the past and live in the now. He complains of being afraid of failing the subject altogether, so I'd tell him to just to his best- his prof's discretion is not under his control anyway. AND YET, he complains about the some things over and over and over again EVERY. SINGLE. DAMN. DAY.

Do I have a right to get at least annoyed? Because I'm on the brink of pulling my hair out. Sometimes when you're someone so negative, you can't help but absorb some of the negative energy from that person. And our relationship is really not getting healthy here.

What should I do?

[caterpillar-girl]

Haha I feel your pain. You have every right to be annoyed. I hate whiners too. BUT, having said that, I think you should give your bf a little more time. Be extra patient. If this is his first time to behave like this, all whiny and mopey, cut him some slack. Law school is tough, and it really takes a toll on even the most mellow folks. I had a friend who entered law school and suddenly realized she wasn't as smart as she thought she was. She was dean's list in college, all that jazz, but law school almost broke her. Anyhow, if this drags on and on and on, try knocking some sense into him. Give him some tough love if need be. If that doesn't work, find someone else who doesn't make you want to pull your hair out in frustration. Maybe the space will also be good for him, and who knows, if or when he gets his act together, you guys might still have a chance. Good luck.

[N.]

^ Thanks! I'm being extra patient naman. And I'm not thinking of breaking up. I'm just tired of all hearing all the same things from him. Oh well. There are good days and bad days. As they say, kapit lang! =))

[@JLO]

-- youre the gf, youre the first person to understand him...

-- hmm i wonder why hes not in his cave,, for this time...

[iwannabeasupermodel]

just keep on pushing him forward and remind him na there'll be more hardships/failures to come. ang mga kailangan ng mga taong ganyan (studying law/med) is the drive to keep on moving forward. there was a time when i lost it too, nadepress/nalungkot ako, nagquestion ng mga bagay, thankfully i have good friends who helped me by and my family who never cease to tell me na i can do it. and support from everywhere

[Alucard]

at least you've done your part. pero pag paulit ulit parin talaga ang reklamo nakaka irita na. you have every right to get annoyed.

[N.]

-- youre the gf, youre the first person to understand him...

-- hmm i wonder why hes not in his cave,, for this time...

Not in his cave? I don't get it hehe.

just keep on pushing him forward and remind him na there'll be more hardships/failures to come. ang mga kailangan ng mga taong ganyan (studying law/med) is the drive to keep on moving forward. there was a time when i lost it too, nadepress/nalungkot ako, nagquestion ng mga bagay, thankfully i have good friends who helped me by and my family who never cease to tell me na i can do it. and support from everywhere

I hope he gets through this too. I'm fully aware naman kung gaano kahirap. Sana lang maging strong din siya para sa sarili niya.

at least you've done your part. pero pag paulit ulit parin talaga ang reklamo nakaka irita na. you have every right to get annoyed.

Yeah. But I'm getting used to it na. I guess it works better that way. I know na meron din naman akong down times and he was there to constantly tell me that things would be okay. Pana panahon lang? Haha

[@JLO]

Not in his cave? I don't get it hehe.


hehe... ang lalaki daw kasi pag me big problem... they normally deal with it alone, pupunta sa cave nila... so i was wondering but lahat ng reklamo nya nalalaman mo hehe..

[iwannabeasupermodel]

I hope he gets through this too. I'm fully aware naman kung gaano kahirap. Sana lang maging strong din siya para sa sarili niya.

yes sis. kaya dapat makipagrelationship with sa kapwa ka-law/med. joke!

[N.]

hehe... ang lalaki daw kasi pag me big problem... they normally deal with it alone, pupunta sa cave nila... so i was wondering but lahat ng reklamo nya nalalaman mo hehe..

Ahh, sa apartment lang kasi siya nakatira. He's originally from a province up north. So madalas talaga kami magkasama. At ako lang yung nasasabihan niya ng mga reklamo niya.