Baby/Toddler discipline

[Tea97]

When and how do you discipline your one year old? My son knows NO already, which is quite good as he stops what he's doing when we say no. But he starts crying right after that. He's also started to resort to crying to get us to give in to him - sa una we were giving in, pero it's becoming a habit which we don't want him to have. So how do you discipline a one year old? Ang issue sa akin is he likes to stand up in his high chair, which is dangerous, that's why i tell him NO agad, then he'd cry and doesn't want to eat anymore. Any suggestions?

[khriseeee]

You have to stand firm with your decision, you said it yourself, you give in sometimes even after you have said "No". The message your son is receiving is that if he whines and cries enough you will give in. If he stands on his highchair and won't eat, give him a timeout in a corner or a room. If he won't sit down properly to eat then he doesn't get to eat. Being constant and firm is key in discipline.

[twelvth_goddess]

I think time outs are quite difficult for 1 year olds to process pa. They don't really know what to do or to think while on a time out. When my daughter was at that stage, we refrained from saying 'No' all the time. Whenever there are things she can't touch or play with, we simply put them away; out of sight, out of mind. When she learned to cry/stand/fuss/ on her high chair and play with food, we would tell her to eat properly like mommy and daddy. Pag ayaw pa din and nagpplay na lang, baka kase busog na or hinde pa gutom. We would keep the food away, pag umiyak, we would tell her na because she was playing, the food went away. It teaches that actions have consequences. Hinde nya yan mage-gets kagad, paulit ulit yan hanggang sa she fully absorbs that whenever she plays with her food, there's that consequence na mawawala food nya.

Yung tantrums and crying for no reason, hay, welcome to the club. Let him cry it out. Minsan it can go for hours, na-experience na namin yan and it was so heart wrenching but just like what Khriseee said, you have to be firm and consistent. Pag minsan pagbibigyan mo (dahil lang gusto mo tumigil sa pag iyak), it gives him the idea na he can get what he wants by crying. Pag napagod na umiyak, saka mo sya kausapin.

[marose17]

The rule on time-outs is 1 minute per year (age of child).

Rather than say NO to your child (he must have picked it up from you), offer him a choice and reason with him in terms easily understandable.  If he stands on his high chair, ask him whether he wants to eat now or later because he cannot stand on the high chair and eat at the same time.  Ditto with crying.  If he wants something, do not say NO immediately. instead, present him with a choice and lay out the consequence if he chooses the activity that you do not want him to do.

You have to be very creative and patient when dealing with young children.

[twelvth_goddess]

Saken mas effective ang time out Pag naiinis nako and I'm on the verge of screaming like a witch, nagsstep out ako. I always remember kase my daughter's face and her fear of me nung nasigawan ko sya ng todo

[Princess_Chill]

naku yan din problema ko sa 2.5 years old ko...i always say no but i give in din kasi paminsan minsan..and what's happening is that if i don't give in iiyak siya then papaluin niya sarili niya...

hindi ko alam paano ko siya disiplinahin for tv lang naman..pero sa ibang stuff when i say no nag stop siya..

there were times na talagang i give in na kasi sobrang antok ko na i work at night so pag uwe ko doon palang hyper si bagets

[marose17]

Re tv time, give a lead time for your child.  For example, you say, "after X show,  baby, let's turn off the tv and play/sleep/eat (fill in activity)."  Kapag malapit na matapos ang show or ang time allotted (if you said for example, you will let your child watch for another 10 minutes),eh sabihin mo na kailangan mo na iturn-off ang tv.

As a parent, you have to be in control.

[twelvth_goddess]

^That's what I do now, Marose Nung mga first couple of times, umiiyak pa sya but now hinde na. Feeling ko she's slowly understanding the concept of compromise.

[bluegintonic]

I started disciplining my 19 year old girl at 1 year old. Dati, I say NO lang in a loud voice. Hindi umuubra. pakulit ng pakulit at super iyakin (dahil girl? ) so I resorted to either a- time out and b-palo sa hands (only kapag may sinusubo siya na hindi dapat, like the live end of my phone charger!). Now kapag alam na niya galit ako at nakukulitan na sa kanya, pinapalo niya sarili niya kamay  . She "talks" back na eh. Yung palo sa kamay it served it's purpose,she still tries from time to time but over all, I think she gets it na hindi lahat ng oras eh siya ang tama. Distraction works din for my daughter, once  I put a Wiggles dvd or play music na dancy, umo-ok na siya,maglalaro na.

[twelvth_goddess]

If there's one thing I've learned with my daughter, hinde talaga dapat yung papagalitan sya in front of other people. Napansin ko kase na everytime I reprimand her and there are other people around like our helper or my sister, nagiging defensive sya or  mas sisigaw sya, mostly because I think (feeling ko lang) she's trying to redeem herself sa pagkakapahiya. So I told myself na never ko na gagawin yon. Hirap talaga pag first time mom, more than teaching the kid, mas natuturuan ako with a lot of things like extending patience and all that.

My stepfather shared very simple but insightful words with me a couple of days ago. I was so upset kase na nahampas ako ni Zoe cus she was so mad that I took the cellphone from her. My stepfather said na baka daw masyadong mataas ang expectations ko kagad sa daughter ko and I expect her na maintindihan nya kagad yung ayaw and gusto ko. She said I'm lucky cus even if my daughter is very active, hinde naman sya salbahe or kasingkulit ng kids na nasa kanila. I realized that too especially when we went to my in-laws' place in Binondo the following day. Super kulit ng cousin nya na mga around 4-5 years old. As in super kulit na nakakainis na. Mejo napapagaya yung anak ko sa pagjump and fidget. Pero isang sabe ko lang sa kanya na 'please sit properly', tumigil naman sya kagad and sinasabihan yung cousin nya to stand up from the floor.

[ysa_38]

Hirap talagang turuan Ang  1 year old... what I hate most is when she tries to play sa stairs... pag napuno na ako, I put her inside the crib where she cries endlessly

[sachism]

Im using time out na. Before this didnt work for her. Ngayon, ayaw na nya na nadedeprive sya ng freedom by going to a corner. So effective na  but still naawa ako minsan. Para din sa akin ito at baka kung ano magawa ko na ikagulat namin pareho dahil sa sobrang inis ko.

[twelvth_goddess]

^Jai, how do you put V on time outs? Baka maging effective din samin.

[snowflakes]

i say NO and pag sinabi kong NO di ko talaga sha pagbibigyan. pag umiyak sha dina divert ko sa iba attention nya. like sa favorite nyang show sa tv or sa ipad or puzzles. madali naman ma divert attention nila eh. kaya wagi ako sa ganong style.

[sachism]

^^I make her stand in the corner and basically pretend that she doesnt exist. Hehe. She doesnt like it kasi she likes to move around and get my attention. So kapag steady sya sa isang corner and I ignore her, that's the exact opposite of what she likes. Then after that, I tell her why I had to put her in the corner. I am now using both punishment and reward system. hehe. But I can only do this pag wala daddy nya. Hahaha!

[cldy_1981]

Ladies, is it too early to start teaching my son the concept of discipline and what shoul & should not be done? He's 7 months and I think like all babies he's very intelligent & easily absorbs stuff he sees and hears, ang challenge ko is that parang he doesn't like na napag-sasabihan. Weird ba? Pero I noticed na when we call out his behavior kahit na di pagalit ah, kahit pinag-sasabihan lang parang afterwards kino-cold treatment nya whoever called out his behavior whether its his dad or me.

Napapansin nyo rin ba to sa babies nyo? I want him to know he is loved but I don't want to spoil him... What do I do? Or baka naman too early to do this at 7 months? 

[snowflakes]

^baby pa mashado yan sis para disiplinahin. para skin ha. di pa naman mashado nakakaunawa yan ng tama at mali, at kung ano ang ayaw mo at di pwede. i enjoy nyo lang muna sha. madali utuin ang bata. kung ayaw nyo ng behavior nya, divert nyo lang sa iba ginagawa nya para di na nya gawin ulit.

[cldy_1981]

^thanks sis! natatakot lang ako na mashadong ma-spoil, kasi naman he's the apple of everyone's eye pati mga maids! as in! kakatuwa yung son ko kasi sobrang pilyo kaya rin naisip ko na baka dapat this early i start "talking" to him.

[khriseeee]

^sis, I think it's a little too early for discipline for a baby, though in my baby book it said that some babies can already understand the concept of no.

I've been reading up and what I've been trying to do is to not say "no" often, instead I'll say "H you don't want to touch the fan, it will hurt your fingers, let play with this shaker instead". Sometimes it works to distract her attention. I don't want her first word to be "No" so even if she doesn't understand the words yet, I explain to her instead. Kinda hard since saying "no" is easier and faster. Hay....

[ysa_38]

my baby at 17 months ay sobrang pasaway...pag alam na galit na kami--mas gagawin pa niya.. ayaw niyang napagsasabihan ng no... at nagagalit din siya pag galit kami... nangungurot siya kahit na wala namang nangungurot sa kanya