Husbands who stray despite having a wonderful family.

[FayeP]

sis Pink*ladybug, at first syempre hindi kami aware pero nun dumalas na un pag out of town daw ng tatay namin kumbaga lagi cya di uuwi ng ilang days, eh sinabi ng tita namin samin na hiwalay na daw sila...

syempre malungkot pero ano ba ang magagawa ng mga batang 6yo, 4yo at 2yo (magkakasunod kasi kaming magkakapatid eh) sa ganitong sitwasyon?

un dad ko may asawa na ngayon pero hindi un kabitch nya na nagsend pa ng used condom ke nanay...madami cyang naging GF/live-in partner at itong last nya (hopefully) eh 15 years na nyang kasama at "nagpakasal" na daw sila sa QC city hall (although di ko alam kun pano nakapagpakasal eh married ang parents ko...so I guess maluwag sa QC Cityhall, di required and CENOMAR)....

[FayeP]

sa tingin ko, ang mauuna muna nafeel ng mga guys eh lust muna, tapos saka na lang cya magdadahilan (like my dad) na kesyo "si misis eh ganito, si misis ganyan kasi kaya nangaliwa"...

binibigyan na lang ng justification un kamaliang nagawa....talaga naman daw ang lalaki di ba polygamous by nature...mas madami mas nakakaangat sa ego nila, lalo na kun may asawa sila tapos dalaga pa un ka-b**** nila....

[glamorosa_09]

If one has experienced how to be tempted, then one will understand what is going inside the mind and heart of that person. Lalo na kung lagi mong nakakasalamuha at sa time na hindi ganun ka-smooth ang relationship. Kaya maraming tao na alam nang mali, pero ginagawa pa rin.

I'm no talking about palekerong lalaki, na may repeated history of infildelity, given naman na yun. I'm referring to men, who were matino, na natukso, and went astrayed.

Of course you cannot generalize people on how they deal with their own demonyos, iba iba ng level of self-awareness, iba iba ng level ng strength ng will, iba iba ng strength ng faith, iba iba ng set of values (yung iba walang values).

In the end, nasa buong character pa rin ng tao.

[ayka]

@ glamorosa_09: correct!

though if i may add, for those men who lived perfect lives and still went astray (cheat), mas inuna pa nila ang tukso ng demonyo kesa takot nila sa diyos for what they're about to do.   

[girl24]

^perfectly said sis ayka... "inuna ang tukso ng demonyo kesa sa takot sa diyos"

[IloveMybabs]

Im A house wife na ngayon from a career woman and party girl. hindi dahil sa my baby na kami kundi dahil kailangan ko sumunod kay hubby sa ibang lugar para magkasama kami at maalagaan sya..

so come to think.. an laki ng sinasacrifice natin mga babae para sa husband natin para lang maging ideal wife o para lang maalagaan sila.. minsan nga kahit nagwowork yong mga wife she/they make sure na naalagaan nila si hubby..

kia walang kahit anung rason ang sapat para mambabae sila.. oo nga tmatanda tayo at tumataba pero sila din naman db? hindi na sila kasing pogi katulad nung mag bf/gf pa.. kia nga in relationship we have to give and take ikaw ang dapat pumupuno ng pagkukulang ng partner mo at hindi mo un dapat hinahanap sa iba.. by the time you exchange vows and have your baby its not about your happiness its about your whole families happines..

kailangan mo lang naman matuto na makuntento sa mga bagay na meron ka para maging masaya..

pag yong mga lalake nambabae karamihan ng rason nila kung bakit nila ginawa un mababawa, kesyo nagger, mataba, at pinapabayaan sila.. pero db bakit ba naging nagger si misis kasi gabi na sya lagi umuuwi try nea keang umuwi ng maaga wala sya naririnig.. bakit ba sya naging mataba eh kasi manganak eh kung sya naman kia manganak? (kung pwede lang) pinapabayaan sya.. try nea keang mag alaga ng 3 bata o higit pa ewan ko na lang kung hindi sya mabaliw..

[smoothie]

It all boils down to one thing, Selfishness.

I think people who cheat are selfish. They think about themselves first before thinking about their other half & kids. Given that sometimes, there is a problem in the relationship but why don't they think first why their other half is acting that way.

[aquacharly]

^ you hit the nail on the head there, best answer, IMO. 
Selfish, hence most unkind.

From what little I have seen of human nature in general --  it is the lack of kindness & the trait of selfishness that is the root of  conflicts in relationships.

[jenie0519]

Agree with sis smoothie, after we watched the mistress napagusapan na naman namin ni hubby ito, reason why men cheat.  And naisip ko na it all boils down to selfishness.  Gaya ng sabi ni sis ilovemybabs, sila din naman hindi perfect, sila din naman nagbabago ang katawan at ang looks, tayo din naman merong mga hinahanapa na traits na wala sa kanila, pero hindi tayo nanglalalake.  Sabi ko kay hubby, selfish lang ang ibang lalake... Nag agree naman siya...

[wahmproject]

Some people get bored. It is also an ego booster and when the temptation is there, it will be difficult to say no if the person doesnt have the right values.  I'm married now and I believe I'm faithful, but if Derek Ramsey becomes interested in me, tatanggihan ko ba sya? hehe. Seriously though, I remember one show before, Dawson's Creek. Dawson's mother cheated despite having a wonderful family and active sex life with Dawson's father. As in for me, wala ring dahilan for her to do it. And this is what she said in summary. I still dont agree with her reasoning but it made me think.... 

"My life was perfect. Everything I really wanted, have been realized. I got restless. I want for nothing. That left me feeling empty, not wanting. And I just wanted to want again."

[Ms.Cacao70%]

Husbands from happy families stray because they don't appreciate what they have. Period. They are selfish, immature and they think they can get away with it because they know the wife will forgive them. Ano nga ba naman yung isang beses ka lang magloko di ba after years of being faithful? Utang na loob ng asawa mo na naging matino ka naman bago ka nagka-sungay  So responsibilidad pa ng misis mo na isipin na baka naligaw ka lang ng landas at tanggapin ang pagkakamali mo. OH PLEASE! ENOUGH!

Wife, don't find an excuse to infedility, kahit one-time affair lang yan or palaging nangyayari. Let the husband figure out his mistakes, it's not our responsibility to tell them what they are missing. Marami na tayong iniisip pa at iniintindi sa buhay at pareho-pareho lang tayong nagtitiis. Bakit sya magkaroon ng "hall pass" at ikaw hindi?

[pinklilac]

hindi pwedeng di mo sinasadya kase ikaw mismo you let your guards down. you are aware of your actions. hindi ka naman sanggol na di mo alam kung anung nangyayari. we live with the choices we make everyday.

i agree !!

[hedonista]

Husbands who stray despite having a wonderful family... very timely. lalo na ngayon all about mistresses ang mga palabas.

It's been an ongoing research  on my end since I would like to understand my father and maybe...cross my fingers/knock on wood, my husband too.

- due to wives' constant nagging
- negative energy wives emit; they need to talk to someone without apprehension and no judgement at all. hence, the purpose of the pokpoks or the kabits for that matter
- they need excitement
- they need to be in control again - making the kabits do what they wanted to do

my thoughts are a little unorganized but if i think of other things i will post it away.

but the root cause of this maybe - as Gtalkers say here, SELFISHNESS

In the first place, as we age and as we mature - we have the ability to distinguish RIGHT from WRONG. And only in selfish desires that people will do wrong thing to satisfy what they want.

[mamichula]

There's no excuse for cheating. It doesn't matter kung maayos ang family life or magulo. Pag ang lalaki loko gagawa ng kalokohan tapos gagawa ng excuse. Kung ayaw tlg magloko kahit magulo sa house he'll go home and fix things and work it out with his wife. Kung d tlg magwork maghiwalay sila saka sya mambabae. Yun nga lang May mga lalaki lang talagang may hibla ng ka a**holan sa katawan kaya nag checheat Kahit mabait ang asawa, maganda, sexy whatnot kung loko ang mister magloloko yan no matter what.

[jaredd_jarell]

I once experienced this with hubby, we'll hindi pa kami kasal nun. He's just the father of our soon-to-be-son that time. So meaning preggy ako nung time na un. Nakakapraning! A guy really never accepts his kalokohan habang mainit pa. Huling huli ko na, to the point na pati si girl eh umamin na, but my husband never admit na may nangyayaring ganon that time.

But sa tagal ng panahon, when one time last year, nagpakwento ako sa kanya regarding that, asking him what was the reason why nya ginawa yun..He just said, nadala daw sya sa kantyaw ng mga kawork nya! In short, kalokohan daw ng barkada.. He said, hindi lang sya ang naging kaaffair nung girl na yun, 3 sila ng mga colleague nya! Well, for the first time, he admitted it, sa tagal ng panahon na na nangyari yun..

Now, he's really a good husband and a good daddy sa 2 sons namin. I hope no more stray churva again. We are on our 5 years living together, 2 years married.