Singles at 35 and up

[Girltalker2]

Since may thread about singles in late 20s and early 30s, I just thought of opening a thread about singles na wala na sa kalendaryo at malapit narin mawala sa lotto.

What are your thoughts right now and what do you think you should focus your efforts on?

I am thinking more of retirement, one should already be financially independent by this time.  If with kids, makes sure you also have enough income to sustain them and ensure that they finish their studies.

Taking care of oneself is very important.  Nang di malosyang and to age gracefully.

Always have a positive outlook.  Maybe not necessarily on love, but about life. Be cheerful and happy (mahirap ah!)

Ano pa ba?

[pilya]

people asking when is your turn to get married is one of the difficult questions to answer. for the longest time i did not see myself married.

one morning i woke up and i thought i needed someone, not necessarily married but just be with someone. someone who'll control at least a part of me. hahaha. is it too late? i haven't been dating for awhile.

[Girltalker2]

hi pilya. at least may nagpost. I have been waiting for someone to post. It is either mga bata pa mga Gtalkers dito or walang gusto umamin that they are over 35 and up.

Sa ibang countries (not Pinas), 50s and up may nagd-date pa nga.  So it can never be too late for us.  When I was younger, I have only known one man who became my bf and hubby. Marriage did not work out. 

But some of the things I have learned -
1) never be desperate
It is only now at 40 that I started dating - it's been 9 months, dated 5 men, turned down dates as well from other men - yes, it is raining men out here.  kaya dont be desperate.

2) I have psyched myself to grow old alone, kaya kung hindi ok ang date, drop him. I can live without a man kesa live with a man from hell.

3) pinaka importante parin to be financially independent. kahit ano pang mangyari, no one will help you but yourself.

4) mas matindi ang criteria ko this time around. sabi nga ng iba, di ba dapat mas mababaw na ang mga criteria ko in meeting guys. no way!  dapat mas maging critical nga tayo because we cannot afford to mess up our lives at this point. mas konti nalang years natin tapos sisirain pa ng kung sino lang?

5) never fail to take care of yourself. it pays.

[pilya]

i know. its been awhile talaga. i refuse to think that guys are intimidated coz if they really want to, they will. hoping to find one.

irony of things, as of late people says i have a glow. hahaha

[Girltalker2]

 
^ 

[athena017]

Makunat na.


Nothings wrong about it actually.

[tomatostellar]

oras na para mag landi!!!! =p tsarlot
it's nice to be take care of, sana makahanap na ang mga sis nating single ng partner na makakapag pakilig at magaalaga sa kanila..

[k_heart]

I'm a married gal with hubby (syempre,he!he!) and kids! Although i'm not part of this group,madami akong officemates and friends na part na nito. Not everybody naman 35 and up,pero nasa thirties na din. Ibang iba ang lifestyle ,more money to spend syempre at more time for gimmicks. Mga fitness-buff. Laging nagja-jogging at nagjo-join ng marathons. Nalowka nga ako one time nung may out of town brainstorming kami. Kasi kami nung isa kong friend na may hubby and kids, got up early para makakain ng breakfast in a luxurious manner, yung hindi ngarag. Pero sina Single Ladies, got up early para makapag jogging at swimming para daw toned pa din body. Napatumbling talaga ako.ha!ha! Ayaw magrelax.
They are generally happy naman,but all of them are still hoping to find the one.

[Girltalker2]

I have stories that some meet Mr right in their 40s and even 50s.  It's fate at times.

Sometimes ironic nga. Lagi kong sasabihin sa friends ko never give up hope!  Pero in my mind, laging default ko is to grow old alone.  Because I do not want to be desperate na kahit sino nalang ang ma-meet ko OK na. 

At this point in my life, I just thought we have made our lives very orderly (ie finances).  We have to be very critical in choosing our life's partner, if any.  He has to be someone who is deserving, hindi magulo buhay, hindi drug addict, hindi sugarol, hindi babaero, hindi ex-convict hehe, law-abiding citizen at responsible dapat. Compatibility is another factor to consider. Not to mention chemistry.  All because we cannot afford to make mistakes kasi kokonti nalang ang years namin compared to mga early 20s.  Kung palpak si lalaki, iwanan!  Huwag kumapit kahit na hindi deserving. 

Pero admittedly, at our age, mas limited na ang choices.  But again, di bale nang limited, quality choices naman.  Kung hindi rin lang, hindi na bale. 

So if someone asks - why single ka pa until now.  One of the answers I can say is - because I haven't found someone who is deserving of my love and attention yet.

[agape]

I'm not yet 35 pero jo-join na rin ako sa thread na ito, kasi I get a feeling na I might become a spinster, since naisip ko na un nung bata pa ako, I was even thinking of becoming a nun noon... anyways.

What are your thoughts right now and what do you think you should focus your efforts on?

This year, I've been thinking more about preparing for my retirement. At least if in case I get old maid nga, I'm already prepared. Mejo na-focus ako maghanap ng foreclosed properties for myself, and my dependents (my aunt, seinor and alone/my dad who no one really wants to care for by his wife or my siblings/my uncle, widow and going senior who can't find a stable job but trying to earn his keep)

Also, before I get properties, or during the acquisition of properties, I will need insurance worth at least 20% worth of those acquired properties. I also want to take care of our Health, by getting HMO and medical insurance.

Everything that I have been thinking and plannin now are mostly in the financial security area. Ang hirap kasi na mag-isa ka tapos wala ka pang pera, I think it's the saddest thing, na after all your life e wala kang naipundar.

I have friends in their late 20's, 30's, pero idol ko yung mga nasa early 40's na. I want to be like them, they have their own place (condo-fully paid primary home), their own office space (more for their consultancy-research, IT, real estate, law, accounting etc), some earn 3-digit incomes in their full-time employment, they drive their own car, some finished their masteral or doctoral degree here/abroad, as in their life is in order very much and they are busy, happy, helpful, understanding women, and they are pretty, too. They are my role models now.

[polymath2012]

I have friends in their late 20's, 30's, pero idol ko yung mga nasa early 40's na. I want to be like them, they have their own place (condo-fully paid primary home), their own office space (more for their consultancy-research, IT, real estate, law, accounting etc), some earn 3-digit incomes in their full-time employment, they drive their own car, some finished their masteral or doctoral degree here/abroad, as in their life is in order very much and they are busy, happy, helpful, understanding women, and they are pretty, too. They are my role models now.

WoW! Very inspiring.

I guess women have evolved during the past decades. More & more women are becoming independent &/or are marrying at a later age (in 30's), 35 is still 'fairly' young.

I have a friend she's in her mid-thirties at nag-nonovena pa talaga sya for the right one to come. She'd waited for several years. Now engaged na rin sya. Just shows that we shouldnt  give up on love easily.

Im not yet over 35 but i will accept if im destined to be alone. I guess mas focused din ako sa mga personal goals go, like traveling the globe , pursuing a successful career , saka doing charitable works. I would rather die doing what i love the most than have a mediocre life with someone.

[piatos]

May kilala ako may-ari ng canteen malapit sa school namin hindi halatang lagpas 50+ na sya nagulat nga kami akala namin nasa 35+ lang sya tapos nag-asawa daw sya nung 40 yrs old sya then nagkaanak ng 45.  May glow talaga and maganda sya.  Ang sabi nya samin sinulit daw nya talaga ang buhay dalaga.  Huwag tayong mawalan ng pag-asa.  Ako din wala ngayon lovelife kesa naman tiisin ko ang ugali ng ex ko hehe. I'm turning 28.

[@JLO]

--- i think priorities and choices would be much different between those who came from a failed relationship and from those who wanted to have a relationship...

[lareina]

Girltalker 2, I so agree with your thoughts

Yup, mga sis, wag tayo mawawalan ng pag-asa.. though sometimes I feel frustrated.

[Girltalker2]

--- i think priorities and choices would be much different between those who came from a failed relationship and from those who wanted to have a relationship...

sis, how? 

In any which way, bottomline, we should never fail to take care of ourselves - in all aspects.  Maintain the highest standards in choosing the right one. 

[Helsinki]

Mga singles na sisters, ok lang yan na singles pa kayo. Piliin nyong mabuti magiging lifetime partners nyo kasi forever na ninyo makakasama yun. Grabe. Di naman ako nagsisisi sa asawa ko. hehe. Ibig ko sabhin, nakakamiss rin kasi mag date ng mag date dati. You can always go out like there not tomorrow.
Just stay pretty, take care of yourselves and your career. be happy girls! Dadating rin ang para sa inyo!

[winkypops]

join ako dito, nasa 30's na ako and still single. maraming advantage ang pagiging single,nakakapunta
ka kahit saan mo gusto, sarili mo ang pera mo. though minsan nainggit ako kasi wala pa akong
sariling pamilya. Sana ma meet ko na si Mr Right, ayoko rin naman un tipong kahit sino na lang
wag lang masabing old maid na.

[Girltalker2]

^ problem sa society natin, being an "old maid" is taboo.  Eh ano naman ngayon kung single ka pa 35yo+ but a lot lot prettier and HAPPIER than the ones in their 20s or married 30yo+??? 

The important thing is you should be happy with yourself.  Kahit anong tawagin nila satin, we should always look fabulous!  Inggit lang nila. 

[Shiecg]

thanks moderator for this topic. dito pala ako dapat unang nag comment 

im on my late 30's ..as in 2 years nalang at hello "40" na ang beauty ko. thanks to our genes kasi di halata masyado. been single for 3 years now and wala talagang naglakas ng loob na manligaw, well di naman ako kapangitan but 1 guy did say to me na masyado daw obvious yong name ng EX ko sa noo ko. honestly di pa rin talaga ako 100% over sa kanya pero sa tingin ko, im willing naman to try a new relationship.

i dont feel too bad anymore about the failed relationship, masaya na rin ako kahit papaano, i can do lots of things that i didnt do when i was with him, hindi naman ako nya pinipigilan before but it was my choice to stay at home and devote my time to him, akala ko pure happiness na yon but now i realized theres more joy than being a domesticated gf...

sabi nga ng mga friends ko...darating din daw ang nakatakda sa amin. im not alone naman sa group of friends ko :-)

[agape]

join ako dito, nasa 30's na ako and still single. maraming advantage ang pagiging single,nakakapunta
ka kahit saan mo gusto, sarili mo ang pera mo.

buti ka pa solo mo pera mo. ako kasi hindi, being single means i have enough money to support my siblings families      if I don't help, madamot naman ako sa paningin nila.