your hubby's ex is still wearing their love trinkets...is that OK for you?

[lavinia48]

Hi girls!

My hubby and I have been married for 2 years now. I recently found out (through pictures) that my hubby's ex is still wearing and flashing almost all of the jewelries that my hubby gave her when they were still together. This includes custom-made and personalized white-gold jewelries, charriol, etc. And take note, kahit sa pre-nup pics nila nung now-hubby nya, suot pa niya talaga (matching necklace and gold cuff)! I can't help but think tuloy that she really is a certified golddigger, just like how she was described before by my friends. Kasi diba pag wala nang halaga sa'yo ang isang tao, nawawalan na rin ng value yung mga material things na binigay niya sa'yo kaya you let them go? In her case, since she values the material and not the person, she still has the nerve to wear and flash them. Am i right or may prejudice na lang ako coz she's my hubby's ex? What do you think? Thanks! ♥♥♥

[skrumian]

Ito ay guy's perspective...

Wala ka nang pakialam kung suutin pa iyon ng ex-GF ng husband mo kase possession nya yon. Sya ang may-ari at sya lang ang masusunod. Basta ang importante, hindi nya nilalandi ang asawa mo.

[lavinia48]

^

Ito ay guy's perspective...

Wala ka nang pakialam kung suutin pa iyon ng ex-GF ng husband mo kase possession nya yon. Sya ang may-ari at sya lang ang masusunod. Basta ang importante, hindi nya nilalandi ang asawa mo.

Thanks for your honest opinion. I get your point. At first i really didn't care at all. Naisip ko pa nga kawawa naman siya, baka wala siyang pambili eh. It's just that she tells pa their MUTUAL FRIENDS AND ACQUAINTANCES things like "oh yes, bigay niya sa'kin yan!" or "of course, sa kanya galing yan!" and makes kuwento2x na etc etc. And may umamin na rin sa akin na friend nila that they often talk mean stuff about us. So syempre nakakarating sa amin, and she knows that! Does that mean anything then? Eh kung WALA KA NAMAN NA TALAGANG PAKIALAM, EDI MANAHIMIK KA NA LANG DIBA, LALO NA'T MAY ASAWA NA RIN SIYA?! Am i right?

[skrumian]

so I guess the main issue is not really about  the use of their "love trinkets." hehe. it is more about badmouthing you and your husband.

but seriously, you don't need to stoop down to her level if that's the case. you know better than that.

[lavinia48]

haha you have a point! i'm just thinking kc those things are constant reminders for her to reminisce and start blabbing about my hubby and me. it's like a starting point for her to psychobabble about us, who are living a happy and quiet life now. but anyway, keber ko sa kanila dba? kaya tama ka dyan! 

[tamarind26]

If I'm the wife and happily married, I wouldn't be bothered by any exes motives. It's none of my business if the ex uses the jewelry na dating bigay ni hubby. Kanya na yun e. Kung di sila makapagmove-on and says bad things about us, bahala sila sa buhay nila. Mamatay sila sa inggit. What matters to me is ako na ang reyna ni hubby ngayon. 

[rics]

i actually see nothing wrong if the ex-gf is still wearing those. if its of good value, bakit ko naman papamigay, eh di pakinabangan ko na lang. if i was asked kanino galing, i would also name the person who gave it to me.

if you say you live a happy and comfortable life with your hubby, anything the ex-gf says should be inconsequential to you.

[glamorosa_09]

Just be grateful sis na yun lang ang ginagawa ni ex, suutin yung jewelry and magbadmouth.

At least hindi niya nilalandi ang hubby mo at hindi nagpapalandi si hubby mo. Ang laking sakit sa ulo at sakit sa puso pag ganyan.

For as long you're living a happy married life, then you're good. Let them live and die with their own insecurities.

[jamberryknots]

for me i wouldn't bother, [textspeak!] pagsusuot/gamit ng things eh its fine after all it's not yours, hindi rin sa hubby mo kundi sa kanya na yun so she can do whatever she wants with it

siguro possible pang issue is that she's badmouthing you among your common friends but then again since she's of no value to your present and future lives wala pa ding effect yun

[m_lim]

okay lang, wala akong paki.

basta dapat mas maganda ang binigay saken. lol

[aquacharly]

^correct. 

EX --  HISTORY.   You cannot rewrite History. BUT you do not have to relive/repeat History.
Let it slide. 

Realistically, may magagawa ka ba? Slap her with a Restraining Order?
Who are we to judge her character is inferior for wearing trinkets/jewelry of her Past Love?
IF we interpret that  as gold digging -- she/others can interpret that as appreciation of a Past that was meaningful to her.  IF she gives value to a beautiful part of her past, who are we to begrudge her that?  Everyone is entitled to keep his/her happy memories, di ba? 

Or it maybe just a simple explanation of:  Your husband has good classic taste, his gifts withstand the lifespan of relationships. Hehe

She is bad mouthing you? Really? Personally, I don't heed hearsay. What's the value in that?  Do not be afraid of what people say behind your back; pay attention to what people say to your face.  I hope you did not play pingpong  & bad mouth her too.  You should be above that --  it is you, not her, that is your hubby's Last Girl.  That is all that should matter to you.

Stay  cool.  Choose your battles.  This EX should not even be considered a battle. 

[chicafabulosa]

Definitely no.

In fact yung very first gf  ni hubby still uses the no he gave her nung sila pa and all her PIN daw according to hubby is their anniversary pa. Kaya sinabihan ko bawal na sya makipag usap dun. And pag may prob si girl sa asawa nya, si hubby tinatawagan. Kaya highblood much ako, sinabihan ko na si hubby di na sya paede makipag friends sa feelingera na yun.. Bwisit di ba mga sis

[evilwoman]

ok lang sa kin. alangan namang iexpect ko na itapon nya yung alahas after nila magbreak plus dagdag drama lang sa akin ang saulian ng gamit. mas issue sa akin kung sa kanya galante, sa akin bigla naging kuripot.

tungkol sa pagbbadmouth sa inyo, wag mo na lang pansinin. para yang gremlin na nagffeed sa pansin na ibibigay nyo. 

[muy003]

Is that ok for me? Well i think, as long as my hubby is notwearing anything that symbolized their relationship okay ako and ill let the other couple worry about their relationship. Im wondering why you're worrying about this, may insecurities ba? It may be a source for judgement para sa character ng babae, pero, if it's not affecting your relationship with your partner, dont let it hover over your head na lang..

[k_heart]

I will care only if insecure ako dun sa girl. Sis,insecure ka ba dun sa girl?
Kasi ako, i'm not even curious kahit nun pa kung sino ang mga ex ng hubby ko, eh lalo wala akong paki sa mga niregalo ng hubby ko to them or if they are still using it.

Don't get so high-strung sa mga ganyang bagay. Walang kuwenta lang yun.

[TysLolakins]

it's not ok for me too.  i don't think it's a matter of insecurity to the ex, the ex for me is really trying to get some reaction from sis TS, i mean why was she flauntig them anyway.  namumuwisit yon kaya ganon.  decent girls won't do that.  so sis, you're not being OA to feel some resentment towards the ex.

[twelve5]

The ex-gf can do whatever she pleases with what was given to her by her ex-bf (now your hubby). It's totally none of your business. Period.

And for you own benefit, please stop looking at pix of your hubby's ex (or exes). You are just courting trouble.  Concentrate on your hubby and your life with him. It's healthier this way and you wont harbor any ill-feelings. Plus no premature wrinkles. 

[k_heart]

^agree! : )

[rics]

one reason i believe and in my opinion, why a wife would make an issue of an ex-gf wearing those things given by the ex is bec of insecurity.

even if people say its uncalled for, its cheap, its a desperate act of the ex-gf, the wife, knowing her stand in her husbands life, should not be bothered by such nuances. kung nang-iinis yan, the ex-gf got what she wanted. kung papatulan mo, sino ang asar talo ngayon?

[lavinia48]

thanks for all the responses and advise! deeply appreciated. ♥♥♥

first of all, i think i should have changed the topic/issue since it's just a starting point of everything that the EX has been doing to us. hence, has been misconstrued as being the main issue. Too late now, but fine by me. Yun ang nasa utak ko nung oras na yun eh. haha.

and i don't think i'm a judgmental person because i realized for a fact that the ex has really been a golddigger eversince! she, my hubby and I worked in the same company but separate units. the reason that she and my hubby broke up is because of her having an affair (caught in the act). i even knew about her having an affair, long before he found out. i just kept my silence because that's none of my business and also as not to create tension in the company. so WHAT DO YOU CALL a girl who has a bf (whom she asks for gifts) and who at the same time goes out with some other guy (whom she asks for holiday trips naman)...? BTW, i also know the other guy. so there, i stand my ground on that. just wanted to clarify. 
 
also just to clear, i never looked at her photos intentionally. cut me some slack, i'm not that immature. we have almost a hundred common friends in FB, kaya sya lumalabas sa mga newsfeed ko. alangan namang i-delete ko lahat ng mga common friends namin?! sorry, but i won't do that just because of her!

i am definitely not insecure as well. i know how much my hubby loves me. and i didn't have to "golddig" my way through life. enough said! ♥

BUT, the one thing that gets me kc is, nananahimik na kami. why does she still have to continue lambasting me and my husband? it's starting to affect our work (because we deal with clients). even some of our friends don't talk to us anymore. i don't want any conflict in the workplace, lalo na't we work under one roof. masaya na siya eh. sorry but I'M NOT A PERFECT PERSON, hindi ako bato, may pakiramdam din ako. and it really affects teamwork. sana manahimik na lang siya. dahil after all those years ng kataksilan niya, kebs/nanahimik lang ako. though i know you can't control how people behave. what i need to do [textspeak!] is just be strong and deadma na lang talaga! kahit mahirap (ayan, nag-advise ako sa sarili ko). we're living separate lives na, sana manahimik na lang siya. maybe that's too much to ask. 

And no, we haven't responded to any of her claims whatsoever. keber lang kami. that's why i opened this topic. dito na lang ako nag-vent out at napa-tanong. tapos mali pa ang opening ko. haha. na-carried away na naman ako. what can i say, I'm not perfect. Hence, the questions. ♥♥♥