madalas tawagin "bakla" ang anak..ano ang epekto?

[megansmomma]

Next time, gumanyan siya hamunin mo na isusumbong mo siya kamo sa DSWD for child abuse (oh
yes, verbal bullying is tantamount to child abuse).

Oh yes, i agree with this., kapangalaiti naman kase mister mo sis. kung sakin yan ewan ko lang talaga. tapos epal pa SIL mo by calling him "bakla" too. wag kang patalo. tama si sis, print mo 'to pabasa mo sa kaya ng matauhan.

[sweetham]

tulungan nyo naman po ako maghanap ng article tungkol dito sa case ng anak ko...tungkol sa mga batang binubully na gay..anong epekto....etc..
yun na lang po ipopost ko sa fb para makita nya at ng SIL ko. or kahit po mahabang article mas okay para sa kanya ko mismo ipaprint. maraming salamat po sa lahat ng concerns nyo..

[althea_ge]

http://thepoc.net/commentaries/16250-deped-policy-to-protect-children-from-bullying.html

sis check mo iyan, hindi naman exactly about sa "bakla" but in bullying as general...and calling someone a bakla is an example of verbal bullying. If I were you, kung di pa rin makinig hubby mo sayo consult ka na sa iba or iwan mo na nga

[honey-ecclaire]

naku pag narinig ni hubby na sabihang bakla ang anak nya...for sure giyera!

kaya yung hipag ko na laging sinasabihan na bakla ka yata eh,para kang bakala...actually sya lang ang ganun sa anak ko..ewan ko kung nagseselos or ano..lagi ko ngang sinasabi na wag ipaparinig sa daddy nya kase lagot sya...aba narinig ni hubby one time di pa naman nya binara sumama lang ang loob and he really belive na dalahira yung hipag kong yun hehe...

YEs,may epekto talaga if palaging tina-tag or sinasabihan na bakala ang anak mo,for us mom meron din...so better na kausapin mo yang asawa mong baka este ano bang problema nya?pangarap nya bang magkaroon ng anak na bakla?...(I don't have anything against them,have lots of gayfriends)pero mismong tatay ang nagbu-bully sa anak?..grabe naman...
masinsinang pag-uusap ang kailangan nyo sis...

[chiqmom]

Yung anak ng friend ko lagi nilang tinatawag na "bakla", and now at 10 years something mejo malambot na nga. Its just sad na the kid was raised thinking that he's "bakla". Siguro tumatak na lang sa isip nya yung ganun. On the other hand, got a cousin na laging tinatawag na bakla kasi pikon, now he's a teen and he's straight. Siguro being gay has something to do with a child's orientation. How the society treats him somehow defines who he is.

I think ok yan na pinapakita mo na naiinis ka so the people could stop the crap about your kid. Talk to your husband and to these people, its ok na magalit o manigaw paminsan minsan if you're trying to get your points heard. Its bullying. Good luck sis.

[sweetham]

hi mga sis! okay na po..i've talked to my husband na..pinakita at pinaramdam ko sa kanya kung gaano ano kaseryoso tungkol sa issue na ito.at mukhang okay naman ang response nya.simula nung araw na pinost ko itong topic na ito,that night kinausap ko sya..and hanggang ngayon wala naman na ako naririnig..sana tuloy tuloy na..thank you so much moms and sisses on GT. salamat sa mga suporta nyo saken..at advices.. God bless us all

[chicafabulosa]

Lam mo sis i talked to my my husband about your issue, sabi nya the effect is what he called negative reinforcement. Bale he is instilling in your son's mind that because he is malambot as he would claim he is already gay. Dapat daw hindi ganun.. And im glad you were able to talk to him about this issue. Up to 12 years old kasi ang crucial age for our kids to learn the values and attitudes. And this is a very crucial stage to know their own sex orientation

[TysLolakins]

sis TS, glad to know that your husband has finally seen the light.  hopefully he won't do that again, labeling your son.
it was kinda weird when i read your initial post,  bakit of all people, yung father ang tumatawag ng ganon.  yung husband ko nga, even in passing he doesn't want to hear that word mentioned around our son.  we as parents should be the number one protector of our kids.  e hindi,  in your case, yung father pa ang tormentor.
anyway, again, happy to hear that all's well in your household now. 

[sweetham]

Thank God po talaga at nagbabago na si hubby... nagkakapikunan pa rin silang mag-ama..pero hindi ko pa rin naririnig yung panunukso nya sa anak namen. maraming salamat po sa lahat ng suporta nyo.

[mrsbrut]

any type of branding: bakla, maarte, pasaway, matigas ang ulo, engot, t**** kahit pa positive matalino, attorney, pogi, bibo .... lahat yan, masama ang epekto sa bata. what happens is they try to be or not to be those things even while sacrificing the things that they really want to do. nawawalan ng identity ang bata.

tayo nga matatanda ayaw na ayaw natin na may nagbabrand sa atin di ba? ex: malandi, epal, sipsip, patay-gutom, etc. but because we are older and more mature, nakakayanan natin. but there are others who aren't as lucky na di ito nakakayanan.

[Observer54]

good to know na okay na situation nyo. next time na sabihan ng bading ng mister mo anak nyo. sabihin mo " eh kanino pa ba magmamana yan eh ikaw ang ama! " 

[nageinna]

buti naman ok na sis. at least marunong naman makinig si hubby. ganyan din yung sa pamangkin naman ni hubby ko. madalas nila tawagin bakla. pati ibang tito tita. minsan aasarin pa nila, tatanong sinong bakla? eh yung bata 6yo walang kamuang muang sasagot "ako!" tapos lahat hindi maiiwasan magtawanan. pero ngayon pag sinasabihan na siyang bakla marunong na siya sumagot ng "hindi ako bakla" pero minsan napapansin ko, pag sumasayaw siya sa harap ko, say nagpplay ako ng music, kembot yung galaw eh. tapos pag naglalaro sa iphone ko, may barbie app kasi dun, hala yun din nilalaro. im hoping mali talaga observation ko and tutal maaga pa naman he's still young. now puro car racing na naman nilalaro niya. pero meron talaga minsan tendency nakikitaan ko ng pagka feminine. 

[Purple_Power]

Good thing may development na. Dahil ako rin mismo sa totoo lang naiinis rin sa hubby mo dahil of all the people siya pa ang gumagawa nito? Kung ako yan matinding awayan yan. I have to ask him if he wants his son to be gay? Then if not how come he is teasing the kid that he is gay? Yung iba ngang Tatay dyan kung pagalitan o sugurin yung ibang tao na umiinis sa anak nila ng bakla ganun na lang. Hindi ba niya naisip the more he is teasing that the more na pwedeng magkatotoo yun?

Sana tuluy tuloy na yan and he should be the one who will prevent his son from other people na kung sino man ang tatawag sa kanya ng bakla. Calling a son as Gay is not a good joke.

Yung nephew ko nga he is playing some games application on computer kung ano ang nilalaro nung Ate niya as in pambabae rin like puting nail polish on nails, how to dress the girl. But we are not that negative to think that he might be a gay someday. The important thing is he knows how to manipulate the applications on computer. Saka bata pa naman eh! Malalaman rin naman niya paglaki niya kung kanino dapat target yung paglalaro ng pambabae. Wala siyang naririnig from us of calling him names.

[Ma.Jewel_1987]

Words are very powerful, with the words we say pino-prophesy natin ang future ng isang tao, its either to bless them or curse them, as per Bro. Bo Sanchez, so we need to be careful sa pagsasalita

I have a pamangkin na mejo malambot talaga he's only four by the way, lagi nya gusto mag mermaid-mermaid then mga high heels ng mama nya at doll shoes ko laging sinusuot, sinasaway namin sya about dun pero hindi namin pinapalo, one time may kapit-bahay kaming teen ager na lalaki tinawag syang bakla, yung mom nya nakarinig, umalis daw agad yung lalaki, kung ako nakarinig nun talagang makakatikim sya di naman sya inaano nung bata eh.

[thess]

Malamang  bababa self steem nya at magkaroon sya ng inferiority complex

[Girltalker2]

Ang tagal na pala nitong post na ito. Kumusta na kaya si TS.

I agree that words are really powerful, at maling mali for the dad to call his son bakla. Of course I assume he does not mean it, and it is just an expression. But it is not good.

As for TS, being the mom, 7 years old na ang anak mo, ngayon 9yo na, siguro naman kumakain na ng gulay at hindi na nagt-tantrums.  I think sa pagbasa ko ng post mo, you are being overprotective din about your son.  Yung pagkain ng gulay should start in the formitive years (meaning before 7yo). Kung di mo naumpisahan iyan at sa 7yo lang, chances are mahirap mo maumpisahan.  Ang pagt-tantrums as early as toddler years, nakakausap na ang bata. Hindi dapat dinadala ng bata iyan hanggang 7yo. In any case, I wish your son should have outgrown them by now.

In summary, TS and her hubby needs to shape up for their son, yun lang masasabi ko.

I have a pamangkin na mejo malambot talaga he's only four by the way, lagi nya gusto mag mermaid-mermaid then mga high heels ng mama nya at doll shoes ko laging sinusuot, sinasaway namin sya about dun pero hindi namin pinapalo, one time may kapit-bahay kaming teen ager na lalaki tinawag syang bakla, yung mom nya nakarinig, umalis daw agad yung lalaki, kung ako nakarinig nun talagang makakatikim sya di naman sya inaano nung bata eh.

Nakakainis talaga kapag nakakarinig ka  ng ganyang comment from others.  Pero ang tanong ko sa mga moms na medyo "malambot" ang son, na-curious lang ako how should a parent deal with it?  Sabi kasi nila homosexuality can be rooted in 2 ways - genes or environment.  If you have the right environment naman, pero may genes na bading (ie may uncles or cousins na bading), how should a parent deal with it?  May friend kasi ako, I saw how she was on denial about her 2nd son.  Pero syempre as a friend, quiet lang ako. Until recently nga na nagbinata na anak nya (his son is a few years senior to my son kasi), umamin narin. Her bro kasi is gay also.  So given this, I guess, as a parent, wala ka nang magagawa kapag teenage years na?  Pero kung less than 10 years old ang bata, ano ang mainam gawin?

[Ma.Jewel_1987]

    Uu nga sana masagot ng ibang moms dito syempre ayoko naman maging gay ang nephew ko hanggat maari, wala naman kaming ganung lahi either "bakla or tomboy" sabi nila kasi puro babae ang kasama sa bahay, yung kuya ko lang ang lalaki then 4 kaming girls. As for the environment, pinagbabawalan ko na silang manuod ni yaya ng noon time show na feeling ko eh nagpopromote ng ganito, hindi ko na sasabihin kung ano at baka ma-intriga pa ako haha.

[argento]

Meron ako pinsan lagi tinatawag na bakla nung bata kasi soft at only child lang.

Ayun lumaki naman straight. Pag bakla kasi bakla na talaga.

[ysa.belle]

i know this eccentric family, they have 4 kids. 2 girls and 2 boys.
yung eldest at pangalawa (boy & girl) straight. yung 3rd boy pero naging bading and yung bunso girl pero tomboy.

okay lang sa parents nila. yung bading nga sinama pa sa get together yung BF niya, while itong tomboy ka-live in na niya yung GF niya sa house kasama ng family niya (tomboy)

deadma lang ang parents. konsintidor ang mga magulang nila. tapos harapan na tawaging bading yung bading talaga like pag hinahanap siya "asan si bakla?" ganun talaga.

nung kids pa daw kita na talaga ang pagka-bading & tomboy ng 2 kids. and deadma lang ang parents.

la lang... share ko lang.