Is this possible?

[beatrize zuri]

ang hirap ng ganitong set up, i dont think it will work for us. kahit naman may mga misunderstanding kami paminsan minsan ni husband naaayos naman namin at the end of the day. for me, much better na hiwalay na lang kesa makikita ng mga kids na ganon ang set up and ang daming questions na you cant be honest to them kasi alam mong masasaktan sila. i will do anything para di to mangyari sa family ko and i believe my husband will do the same thing 

[stylishmomy]

couples who are in this set up might need to watch the movie "Hope Springs"

[girl24]

^^^hi sis jhenpretty! ganon sila sa pamilya nila kung magmura eh very natural. also, one time, i also witnessed how his dad hit his mom just because naiinis na siya sa kanya. traumatic nga sa akin yung eksenang yun eh. never kasi nagmura and especially naging physical papa ko sa mama ko. kahit naman sa mga lolo't lola ko, walang ganong sakitan ever. awang awa ako sa MIL ko pero wala ako magawa or masabi.

backgrounder still: sinisigawan at pinapagalitan din niya tatay niya, nanay niya, mga kapatid niya, mga pamangkin niya basta lahat ng tao. isa pa yan sa nagulat ako kasi never, ever ko nasigawan ang papa ko at mama ko... nakuuuu, bawal na bawal sa amin yun.

did i know all of this before i married him? sadly no. magaling magkunwari hubby ko nung bf ko pa lang siya. best actor pala. don't get me wrong sis, he is not evil incarnate, me mga good side naman to him minsan nga lang naoover shadow nung bad.

[YanYanYanYanYan]

^^^hi sis jhenpretty! ganon sila sa pamilya nila kung magmura eh very natural. also, one time, i also witnessed how his dad hit his mom just because naiinis na siya sa kanya. traumatic nga sa akin yung eksenang yun eh. never kasi nagmura and especially naging physical papa ko sa mama ko. kahit naman sa mga lolo't lola ko, walang ganong sakitan ever. awang awa ako sa MIL ko pero wala ako magawa or masabi.

backgrounder still: sinisigawan at pinapagalitan din niya tatay niya, nanay niya, mga kapatid niya, mga pamangkin niya basta lahat ng tao. isa pa yan sa nagulat ako kasi never, ever ko nasigawan ang papa ko at mama ko... nakuuuu, bawal na bawal sa amin yun.

did i know all of this before i married him? sadly no. magaling magkunwari hubby ko nung bf ko pa lang siya. best actor pala. don't get me wrong sis, he is not evil incarnate, me mga good side naman to him minsan nga lang naoover shadow nung bad.

Natatawa ko, [textspeak!] ba to magkakapatid ba mga hubby natin... Same thing here, my hubby's same attitude as your hubby. Minsan tinutulugan ko nalang, wala na rin naman akong magagawa dahil na sakanya na nakadepende lahat yan e...

[jhenpretty]

@ sis girl24. Naku sis kaya naman pala ganun siya. Kaya dapat mapag-usapan niyo yan para mabawasan niya o matanggal na niya yung pagmumura niya. Baka pati mga anak niyo makuha o magaya din ng pagmumura na nakikita o naririnig nila. Pero tama yung ginagawa mo na kapag galit siya at nagbabad mouth tahimik ka lang kasi baka lalo siya magalit kapag pinatulan mo siya. Try to talk to him na lang kapag alam mong nasa mood siya makipag-usap sayo. Ganun talaga we should love and accept the whole personality of the person we choose to be with forever. Pero hindi naman ibig sabihin nun e hindi na dapat sila mag-improve as a person. Dapat kahit tinanggap natin yung mga imperfections nila they should also learn how to lessen or eventually remove the imperfection para sa ikagaganda ng pagsasama.. Good luck sis.. Pray together and pray more.. ^_^

[jhandee]

parents ko ganito din, separate rooms sila both seniors na, matagal na ganito set up nila, madalas na din kasi sila di magkaintindihan, lalo pagdating sa religion, and yung father ko gusto nya lagi na On ang AC ang mother ko naman ayaw ng malamig kaya lumipat sya ng room, pero hindi sila nag lock ng doors, and pag gabi na sabay pa rin sila nanonood ng tv sa bedroom ng father ko pero pag matutulog na hiwalay na sila.

[girl24]

@ sis girl24. Naku sis kaya naman pala ganun siya. Kaya dapat mapag-usapan niyo yan para mabawasan niya o matanggal na niya yung pagmumura niya. Baka pati mga anak niyo makuha o magaya din ng pagmumura na nakikita o naririnig nila. Pero tama yung ginagawa mo na kapag galit siya at nagbabad mouth tahimik ka lang kasi baka lalo siya magalit kapag pinatulan mo siya. Try to talk to him na lang kapag alam mong nasa mood siya makipag-usap sayo. Ganun talaga we should love and accept the whole personality of the person we choose to be with forever. Pero hindi naman ibig sabihin nun e hindi na dapat sila mag-improve as a person. Dapat kahit tinanggap natin yung mga imperfections nila they should also learn how to lessen or eventually remove the imperfection para sa ikagaganda ng pagsasama.. Good luck sis.. Pray together and pray more.. ^_^

Hay sis jhenpretty, wala na yatang good mood ang hubby ko. 2 weeks ko na siya hindi pinagkakausap kasi bawat sabihin puro paninita, laging naka angil. nakakapagod na rin. kagabi lang umuwi past 1am. mind you nung umalis siya ni ha ni ho walang paalam. i just let him be. tapos umagang umaga inangilan na naman ako. nagpantig na tenga ko, sinagot ko na siya pasigaw na hindi ko alam kung asan yung hinahanap niya sa akin. ayun kung [textspeak!] ano na sinasabi, pinagmumura na ako. minura ko na rin... and i told him, wag ka na umuwi mamaya please lang. syempre sagot siya ng "talaga, hinding hindi na ako uuwi dito" then mura, mura, mura.

alam mo if this had happened siguro mga two years ago, i would be a mess right now considering malamang eh maghihiwalay na kami sa last statements namin sa isa't isa. surprisingly, even for me, ito kalmado pa naman ako. hmmm, not sure ha baka naman mamayang gabi pa ako magbreakdown.

i just want the verbal abuse to stop and if that means separation from him then with a heavy heart that will be, though of course for the benefit of our child i'd want things to be different kaya lang hindi marunong tumanggap ng pagkakamali ang hubby ko sis. when you talk to him, it is very frustrating because ibabalik niya lang lahat sa akin because for him he needs no changing. o kaya sasabihin non eh ganito ako eh, tanggapin mo na ganon. 

[jhenpretty]

^ Naku sis girl24.. Mahahigh blood ako sa asawa mo.. may anak na pala kayo.. ilang taon na? Eh di nakikita niya yung ginagawa ng father niya.. Dapat willing siya magbago para maging okay relationship niyo. Yun kasi dapat mangyari after niyo mag-usap, malaman niya yung mali niya and then gumawa siya ng way para magbago siya.. Yung husband mo na yung may problem. Kung hindi siya makikipagtulungan, hindi niyo maayos problem niyo.. Basta sis nandito lan kami to help you. Kahit sa advice makatulong man lang ako.. I hope God will help Him na malinawan ang isip niya na magbago. Just pray sis..

[blackgreen]

My parents were like this. They slept on different room. Nagloko kasi father ko nung bata pa ako tapos lumayas mother ko bitbit ako, sinundan ng father ko tapos ayun di naman na sila naghiwalay. Though ganun set-up sa bahay nung buhay pa sila. Tapos inamin ng mother ko sa akin before she died na pang-kapatid na lang yun pagmamahal niya sa father ko. Ayaw daw niya lumaki kaming magkapatid na broken family.

[YanYanYanYanYan]

Hay sis jhenpretty, wala na yatang good mood ang hubby ko. 2 weeks ko na siya hindi pinagkakausap kasi bawat sabihin puro paninita, laging naka angil. nakakapagod na rin. kagabi lang umuwi past 1am. mind you nung umalis siya ni ha ni ho walang paalam. i just let him be. tapos umagang umaga inangilan na naman ako. nagpantig na tenga ko, sinagot ko na siya pasigaw na hindi ko alam kung asan yung hinahanap niya sa akin. ayun kung [textspeak!] ano na sinasabi, pinagmumura na ako. minura ko na rin... and i told him, wag ka na umuwi mamaya please lang. syempre sagot siya ng "talaga, hinding hindi na ako uuwi dito" then mura, mura, mura.

alam mo if this had happened siguro mga two years ago, i would be a mess right now considering malamang eh maghihiwalay na kami sa last statements namin sa isa't isa. surprisingly, even for me, ito kalmado pa naman ako. hmmm, not sure ha baka naman mamayang gabi pa ako magbreakdown.

i just want the verbal abuse to stop and if that means separation from him then with a heavy heart that will be, though of course for the benefit of our child i'd want things to be different kaya lang hindi marunong tumanggap ng pagkakamali ang hubby ko sis. when you talk to him, it is very frustrating because ibabalik niya lang lahat sa akin because for him he needs no changing. o kaya sasabihin non eh ganito ako eh, tanggapin mo na ganon. 

Naku sis. That's too much. If you felt degraded and miserable na, ibang usapan na un. Much more you have a child na pwedeng maabsorb lahat yan and in the end sya rin ang magssuffer. Hindi kawalan ang mga lalakeng walang pakinabang and walang kwenta sa mundo. Kung may publema hubby mo he should talk to you calmly o kung may issue man dapat maging matured sya. Parang ewan lang, sarili lang nya iniisip nya...

Try to leave him, he'll realize your worth in time.

[TysLolakins]

ganyan din ang father ko, verbally abusive and hot tempered.  we grew up in a house where we never knew when the next flare up from him will happen.  actually his temper was only directed to my mother, never really  towards us daughters and hindi naman siya nananakit, not to us nor my mom.  but the emotional impact to us is still the same.
to all the sisses going thru that right now with your hubbies and you're wondering what will be the effect to your kids, maybe i can answer that.  i resented both of them (starting from a young age) for having us live thru that kind of ordeal.   you see, my father was acting that way to show everyone who's the boss and that he can control everyone.  it's a control thing that he wanted to exercise over us.   then my mother did not do anything to make my father stop being that way, she just accepted that that's how he is.  tapos the following day, everybody acted as if nothing happened.  it was a very dysfunctional existence i tell you.  hindi tama yon, as a child, i'd rather that they separated na lang to teach him a lesson.  and my mother was no martyr either,  she would take it out on us kids esp me being the oldest.  and and she would make me get involved in whatever they're fighting over like having me talk to my dad to make him change his ways.  gusto niya magdrama ako thinking that my father may be affected by the crying and pleading.    i hated hated her when she made do that and this is something that i have not forgiven her over.
actually my fervent wish back then was to live with my grandparents who were the most kind-hearted salt of the earth people that have ever lived.  see,  we, all of us daughters, wanted to get away from them.
and guess what,  now that we are all adults (much older adults),  the resentment is still there.  but now we have more control over things.   i'm not proud of it but that's the only way for all of us to enjoy the rest of our lives.  none of us girls can stand being around them anymore, meaning they cannot live with any of us.  we all live here in the states and they are in pinas.  we pooled our resources to build them a house of their  own in QC.  the house and lot are paid for, they have a car and since both of them worked here, they have their 2 social security stipends to live a good life sa pinas.   
don't get us wrong,  us giving them a house and lot is not a reward,  we just want them to be away from us as far as they can.  they can fight, scream and yell to each other all the want and we won't know or hear of it.  we don't have to share in their misery.
super bitter ba ako?  i guess i am.  but i'm much happier now too.

btw hubster is not like that at all.  he has none of that machismo stuff that typical pinoy husbands have.  he loves me and respects me as an equal. 

[girl24]

hay, sissies thank you for all the advice... as i told my bestfriend, siguro i am waiting for the time i'd be fed up.  ayoko kasi dumating yung time na i'd decide tapos in the future my child will get mad at me for not sticking it out with her dad. eh ang vow pa naman till death do us part. truthfully, parang ang si-net ko na level na pag ito nangyari i'd quit is pag sinaktan na niya ako ng physical. so pag me times na he is in a drunken rage, i really egg him on further para saktan na niya ako at nang magising na ako sa kalokohan ko. each time he manages to not hurt me, aamba siya pero hindi ako i-strike. i'm on a wait and see attitude as of now, and still praying for God to give me the strength and help me decide when it should be over.

again thank you for at least i have release through gt. i never tell my family what i go through to protect them also. i don't want my parents to know that the daughter they protected for such a long time is treated as such by her own hubby. 

[glamorosa_09]

^hanga ako sayo sis, careful ka sa mga steps na gagawin mo. I'm not a fan of separation (sino ba?), but when it comes to that kind of abuse, I say save yourself from being degraded or devalued as a person. There are just some things that are unacceptable.

Should you decide to part ways, I hope he would be humbled. Ako, I believe that miracles do happen. That no one can escape pag si Lord na ang nangusap. I've heard personal stories of people being changed. So even if you decide to separate from him, you can still pray for him.

[chicafabulosa]

Yes it is possible. I know some people who actually sleep at separate bed in one room or separate room. More on for the sake of the kid/kids na lang sila.

[jhenpretty]

^^ sis girl24. Pagpray din kita sis.. Basta if you need my advice and advice of our fellow GT nandito lang kami for you.. Just take care of yourself and your child... ^_^

[magichild07]

hubby and i are on the same set up right now. but i dont prefer this ha, i actually want him out of the house because ayoko na talaga dahil loko loko siya - ah, too long story. kaya lang makapal ang face kaya ayan, nasa bahay padin. he sleeps sa baba ng bed because kami ng baby sa bed. wala kaming pakialaman. mahirap pero the house is mine so how can I leave. so im just praying hard each day and night na he leaves so I can really start over.

^^^ same sentiments here sis ...