Jobless BF :[

[stylishmomy]

^if hes the kind of man whom you cant spend your life with sis... you still have your kids, they're your "family" Cheer up!

[eilegna]

^Right! isa pa lang baby ko.. She's turning 1 this valentine..
And I'm only 24, there are so many things to look forward to.. 

Basta, turning point ng life ko yung pagpili sa money over love...

Just be careful in making decisions.

[stylishmomy]

^you're very young pa sis, enjoy yourself and your daughter irresponsible men are not worth the time.

[lady_avoidant]

this is the main reason why hiniwalayan ko siya.. Naghahanap talaga ako ng security. Di ko ma-vision ang future ko kasama siya. Still, i pray for him and wish him the best.

[eilegna]

@ sis stylishmomy, thanks! tama ka...

Either I have a rich man or not, I can still pay the bills independently and stay happy naman haha
bahala na mga lalakeng yan hmp
(bitter pa eh hehe)

[kawen]

^sorry sis ha, what are the reasons why you're still with him? no motivation to work = no financial stability plus with psychological problem.

Sis............

I feel secured with him.. his love and loyalty to me (I am his first and only gf, even if we broke up 8 years ago and got back recently).. Maalaga siya, maasikaso, pwde ng House Husband.. pero syempre gusto ko naman na he's more successful than me.. and may katulong ako sa gastos. Hindi sa mukhang pera, pero syempre importante 'yun. Hay naku, mas dominant ako sa kanya.. but I love that he's submissive aka Under d Saya..

I am a single mom, I am scared with a new love kase alam kong walang magseseryoso sa babaeng may anak na (sorry that's just what I think), swerte kung meron maybe I will take a chance, pero wala eh. Napamahal na rin anak ko sa kanya and they both get along well.

I am running out of time, 28 na kame.. so I nag him everyday and make him understand that. Well, on his psycho problem, parang na-handle niya naman he already seek help.. I hope he gets better.

I am giving him time.. he has a motivation to work naman pero nga kase he wants to really be ready since he is under medication, support ko muna siya and nag him hahaha...

[stylishmomy]

Sis, I dont think the nagging will help much that's not supporting hehe, that's just my opinion ha. And dont be scared that no guy will love you just because you have child na, that's not true. You're 28? that's not old

Good that you're giving him time to be better and get a job but dont wait for too long, you might regret it coz you really cant change a man. He is under the saya coz he has no work, wala cyang backbone and not in the position to be the dominant one. But if you really love each other, who am I to judge? good luck sis!

[unicahija7]

My BF used to be jobless for over a year. During that time, I was the one with a more stable and fulfilling job. Whenever his insecurities kick in, lagi kaming on the verge of breaking up. Pero never ako nagalit kapag ang baba ng tingin nya sa sarili nya and tingin nya I don't deserve him or that bara sya sa career ko. Aside from praying for my own career and life, I always pray for him. I cry to the Lord for him. Thankfully, just before I lost my job November last year, he was hired in a multinational company and was promoted just recently. I would like to say that my level of support to him was the same since the beginning if not improved this time. Andaming nag-look-down on us or on him nung panahon na wala syang work. Although indirectly, alam ko hurt sya. And happy ako to see now the fruits of me not giving up on him and pushing him to reach his dreams.

But the thing now is, ako naman ata ang insecure. :/ Nasanay kasi siguro ako na I provide, I'm on top of my game, etc. From November to January this year, jobless ako and I'm left at home doing nothing or just helping out in the business. Ang feeling ko now ang layo nya sa akin. He's too busy, walang time, etc. Although we see each other naman from not less than 3 times/ week and talk over the phone or text, feeling ko nabawasan. Minsan naiinis ako baket pa sya napromote. I look for the same support I gave him nung sya yung unemployed for over a year.

I'd like to think phase ko lang to and once I start working na ulet this Monday, I'll gain my Ms. Independent status back. I'd like to extend my patience and understanding of him now lalo at may plans na kami to get married next year.

I guess at the end of the day, suporta at tiwala sa isa't-isa ang kailangan. Gaya ng sabi ko sa BF ko (now fiance) nung wala pa syang work, bago ang lahat, sya ang unang dapat na tumulong sa sarili nya. I agree that nagging doesn't help. It will either work for the both of you or destroy you. Discern din if a relationship is worth keeping for. Remember, if a relationship gives you less than what you deserve or lalo kung nagse-settle ka na for less dahil lang ayaw mo ma-kompromiso ang relasyon, you have to take a step back and see kung dapat pang ituloy.

[romantico]

I'm a guy at medyo nalungkot ako sa thread na ito as if hindi pa enough yung lungkot na nafeel ko after watching "Starting over again". Ang sakit lang kasi minsan hindi naman sa tamad pero na-tied up lang.

According to the thread, may mga ilang girl dito ang gumagastos sa date when their bf was jobless pero ako i didn't do that to my GF pero naghiwalay pa rin kami. Here's my story and I got a question for the girls:

I love my GF very much(I still call her GF kasi umaasa pa rin). Until now, hindi pa rin ako matahimik kahit na 4months lang kami at more than a month na kaming hiwalay. I'm her first BF pero parang hindi niya ako pinangahalagahan..parang ginawang practice BF. Hindi ko alam kung dahil ba sa age gap namin(23 siya and 39 ako - 16 years), or dahil kala niya mayaman ako or dahil sa wala akong work ngayon or all of the above.

I was working for 5 years in a company until 2012. Nagpahinga ako about 3 months and started trading in the stock market and nag negosyo for a little more than a year with friends pero it didn't work out. After that, I didn't look for work right away because I'm still thinking of other business habang wala pa akong ginawa. Noong wala akong maisip, I decided to look for work again but then my dad was diagnosed with cancer mid 2013(he's now gone) at yan rin dahilan kung paano ko siya nakilala at niligawan. I decided to delay job hunting so I could cook at home for the family while my mom focuses on my dad's need and special diet. At the same time, nililigawan ko na yung girl full time.

Actually, I was hitting 2 birds with one stone kasi aside from helping out at home ay tinutukan ko panliligaw ko sa kanya kasi napapansin ko kay girl ay minsan she's not into me pero hindi naman ako binabasted kahit after na nagtapat ako. Her main concern lang that time ay baka ayain ko siya agad ng kasal kapag naging kami so I assured her I'll wait until she's ready. During that time, nag sideline ako by importing few items from US hoping it would become a steady business pero hindi naging ok so I told myself kapag naging kami ay siguro she'll make an effort rin makipagkita and I can look for work na.

Then my dad passed away tapos after more than a month ay naging kami. Unfortunately, hindi pa rin siya naging into me until I realized na may hesitations siya sa akin due to my age and our age gap daw dahil sa sinasabi ng tao. Akala daw niya kaya niya but then realized hindi pero pinaglaban ko relationship namin. Kasi hindi ako makapaniwala na age gap kasi from the beginning I was honest bout it. So I decided not to look for work kasi I was afraid na baka gawin niyang reason na busy ako para maging less ang pagkikita namin. That time I imported some other stuffs naman from the US pero hindi rin gaano nag click. Dumating ang time na muntik kaming magbreak pero nung medyo hindi na ako umapela, binawi niya and asked to give her another chance for a month and she will be a better GF na and will treat me more as a BF. She will control her hesitations and tanggapin age ko until nag away kami at ginawa niyang reason to break up with me and told me na pabalik balik hesitations niya. Akala niya tanggap na niya pero nawawala daw siya lagi at di niya kaya mga sinasabi ng tao. Sabi pa niya, dati ok lang ako sa parents niya pero ngayon biglang ayaw na sa akin kesyo kala daw ng parents niya hindi daw ako sasagutin. Wala akong nagawa kasi desidido na siya pero hindi ako nag let go and I told her I will silently hope for a change of heart. I was ready to look for a job na that time thinking that she'll finally changed pero naghiwalay na kami.

During the course of the relationship, may one or two instances nababanggit ni girl na hindi niya alam ano income ko although I been honest to her about it plus my plans in the future. She mentioned na rin that her dad was mentioning na baka tamad ako at umaasa lang sa magulang ko pero nung nagreact ako that I was hurt, binawi niya na nagbibiro lang dad niya. I got hurt kasi lagi akong honest sa kanya about my plans and plans for the future. Alam naman niya nagtry akong mag import konting gamit, alam niyang may konting kita ako sa stock market, may ipon rin ako to begin with and etc. During the course of the courtship and nung kami na, ako nagbabayad ng date namin kahit na minsan nangungulit siyang makihati but I always tell her next time kasi hindi ako sanay sa hatian.

Pero minsan kapag nagsasabi siya ng "please" na parang nakakaawa ay pinapayagan ko lang siya magbayad ng small things like snack sa movie or dessert sa mcdo. The only thing na hindi ako naging honest sa kanya ay kung bakit hindi ako nagmadali maghanap ng work at yun ay dahil I'm working on the relationship. Lagi kong alibi sa kanya ay nagtatry pa ako ng biz pero I also told her I gave myself a time frame naman. Never ko nafeel that she supported me instead parang lagi pa ako kino-question. Pati sa pag work abroad ineencourage ko pa siya kasi alam ko gusto niya rin magwork abroad and she knows I can bring her there kaya lang nawala na kami.

Now, naghahanap na ako ng work and hopefully meron na sa early April kapag pumasa ako sa technical assessment. Kapag nagka work na ako ay I'll try to win her back. Do you think it's wise to let her know the real reason why I wasn't eager in looking for a job was because of her and I want to work out the relationship if ever dumating ang opportunity? or wag nalang? sabi kasi ng isang female friend ko ay wag kasi she'll get turn off.

[zee87]

@romantico
Sad nga yung nangyari sa love story nyo.
More than not having a stable job and your age gap, i think (pardon me for being honest) di ka nya talaga minahal. ako nga, i was inlove with my ex, pero dahil i can't see a future with him, i broke up with him.

Lalo pa kaya sa situation mo. No stable job and age gap, factors that may affect how one person will feel to another.

If you're gonna ask me, i don't think there's a reason for you to pursue her. kahit na ikaw pa yung first bf niya. at her age, malamang nasa experimental period yan (if you know what i mean). if you're sure where you're going, re: job, siguro naman you'll get to meet girls and date again.

[anirtak127]

Hi, romantico. Nabasa ko na yung story mo dun sa isang thread.

I haven't been in this kind of relationship and situation but here's my two cents: same with zee87, I don't find any reason for you to win her back. Sorry. Tingin ko kahit na sabihin mo sa kanya yung reason na nag full time ka i-pursue sya kaya hindi ka muna nagwork eh iisipin nya pinapa-guilty mo lang sya. Like you said, honest ka naman sa kanya about everything, even your plans for the future so I don't think may reason pa sya mag-doubt sayo. Sabi mo din naman may ipon ka kahit papano and mukha namang hindi ka nahirapan financially nung time na jobless ka so I don't think you being jobless is a factor for her "falling" out of love. Ako nga I had my first bf at 26 pero hindi ko naman naisip na gawing experimental ang relationship namin. Sabi mo gusto nya makarating ng ibang bansa at alam nyang kaya mo tuparin yun. Para sakin, mabuti nang ngayon pa lang eh nagkahiwalay na kayo kesa naman sa nadala mo na sya sa ibang bansa tapos saka sya gagawa ng kung ano anong dahilan para hiwalayan ka.

With your post, I can see naman na you're a responsible person, lalo na sa family mo. I'm a believer kasi na love will come when you least expect it. So enjoy life na lang muna. I'm sure makakahanap ka din ng iba na mas maa-appreciate ka for who you are.

[cecilydee]

Hello bro romantico..at dito sa thread na ito ikaw nagpost. ramdam ko na naman ang lungkot mo pero bro to be honest, dun sa kabilang thread ang dami nang nag sasabi sayo na move on move on pero parang addicted ka yata sa pain at cling ka parin ng cling sa iyong ex na hindi naman into you from the start. (ouch truth hurts, im sorry)

now, may ibang anggulo ka na namention: your lack of work right now. its not a good excuse not to have a "stable" work at that time dahil lang you want to focus on your relationship with her. that's not how a man is. First of all, dapat ni settle mo muna ang career mo at your age which is 37 and then doon mo na ipasok ang love instead of the other way around. subconsciously, women are looking for men who are good providers and who can sustain them in a lifetime. its in our survival instinct. same naman sa men, naghahanap kayo ng somebody that will take care of you while you are out there working (hunting: in a survival tone)

bro, im not against you trying to win her back but you see before you do that fix yourself first. show her that you are the man in the relationship, hindi puro pakita ka na you are so weak without her, and never ever mention again any blame like sa issue ng age mo. you will only use that against you. start anew and introspect but I got to say, flourish first in your career and when you feel you are stable enough, doon ka mag pursue sa kanya OR better find a much mature one.

[caterpillar-girl]

romantico, acutally it doesn't matter whether you tell your ex about it or not. She doesn't seem to like you that much anyway, and there's nothing you can say or do to make her like you, or treat you, the way you want her to. You seem to be a nice guy naman, mejo malas lang sa mga diskarte. Your biggest mistake I think was putting off your career, your life basically, for this girl who doesn't even seem to like you that much. Kung ako sayo, cut your losses, and just focus on your career and family. If it's meant to be, you will find someone else who doesn't give you such a hard time. If you read your story, there's just so much WORK involved in your relationship, so much explaining, so many people to please. I mean at your age, you shouldn't be dealing with love life issues like that anymore diba? Good luck!

[t_r_i_s_h]

Oh no!

[geneuse]

kumusta na kaya si BF?

[simang]

Hey mr. Romantico, get your s*** together muna before anything else

[t_r_i_s_h]

^ tama!

[mc21]

...Jobless, choosy, or tamad lang talaga
... alin kaya jan?
...ako, kahit anong work basta legal papasukin ko.
...katwiran ko, wala namang trabahong madali eh. lahat mahirap.

[lovemeagain30]

pag jobless bf ko, no way di ako papatol. ano ako estyudante nahihibang sa love?? 

hindi lang jobless bf ang kailangan iwasan pati narin bf's who cant keep their jobs for a long time. yung mga tao hindi kaya magtagal sa trabaho na sa isang taon, naka- ilang beses nag resign at pumasok sa ibang work. isama narin ang mga bf's na taon ang inaabot bago magkatrabaho! 

why am I saying this? kasi if you fall for these type of guys, toxic sila sa growth mo. may time kikiligin ka at mamahalin sila pero believe me magsasawa ka din. in reality there are monthly bills you have to pay on time, mouths to feed if you marry them in the future. kapag walang future si guy,, goodbye! 

[MaitaOfMakeupOnDemand]

^agree to everything you said sis, lovemeagain30.