Jobless BF :[

[stylishmomy]

Seems like you're doing everything you can to help him find another job sis but he's not interested. If you're tired and drained from all this, then let go. For me, it's a total turn off if the guy is like this, lazy, walang motivation and drive - career wise, kahit pa siguro kamukha nya si Brad Pitt, ang pangit ng dating nya for me. That's just my pov.

[agape]

1- leave him.
If you can't leave him,
2- just try to leave him Alone,
So he can sort out his own problems.
if you can't leave him alone,
3- help him by NOT helping him,
Yes. Because when you are helping him, you are making the situation worse.
The only way for him to learn is by letting him do things on his own.
Also, don't pay for his way. He will only learn to dependent on you and will even take him longer to get a job. I learned this from experience.

[oceana]

nawalan din ng work ang bf ko last Sept 2011, kasama siya sa PAL,  hindi siya naghanap ng work kagad, kasi balak magpahinga kahit daw till December.  Nang sumapit ang January nag start na siyang maghanap, at dahil mapili din siya, nahirapan din siya, kasi ba naman 35 years old na siya at ayaw niyang mag call center.  By March, nag try na rin siyang mag call center pero di siya tinawagan, nagkaron siya ng work mga June pa, 8 mos din siyang walang work a. Sa 8 mos na yun di ko siya kinulit at kinumusta kasi alam kong masasaktan ego niya at bababa ang self confidence.  Hindi ako ang nagpressure sa kanya na maghanap, mga magulang niya:) hahaha siguro kung hindi sa kanila wala pa rin siyang work until now.

[Jaigama]

JobleSS ang asawa ko for 2mONths na hehe, .mag aBroad kasi sya eh, at wala siyang maipoN dito dahil sa liit ng sahod nya dito ,at nag dEcidE sya na wag ng mag traBAho para boNding mOMent namin bAgo siya alis

[agape]

^You are putting your marital relationship at risk for the sake of more money. More income simply means more expenses, higher lifestyle. Mag practice na kayo how you plan to maintain your long distance marital relationship, and when is the deadline that you would live separate lives. Good luck.

[freelancer_babe]

JobleSS ang asawa ko for 2mONths na hehe, .mag aBroad kasi sya eh, at wala siyang maipoN dito dahil sa liit ng sahod nya dito ,at nag dEcidE sya na wag ng mag traBAho para boNding mOMent namin bAgo siya alis

Maganda kung may nag-iintay na work sa kanya. But this happens rarely at these times and usually those kinds of jobs are given to those who are highly skilled. Most employers overseas want to hire people who are already in that country.

I know, because I have been looking for work overseas just recently. Ganun na pala ngayon. And this kind of arrangement often requires one to spend money na naman if one has to move out then apply to a new preferred country of work. Hindi biro biro ang gastos.

Thus, it's not really wise move for your husband to quit his job at this time na walang ipon unless may job na naghihintay sa kanya.

Lastly, I agree with agape, if you aren't that wise with money, then it's just more expenses and higher lifestyle and yet still end up with no savings at all.

[@JLO]

nagsasawa narin ako intindihin siya. what will I do? ayoko naman lumabas na masama pag nkipagbreak ako..

>.< youre thinking of breaking up with him >.<...  that mere fact... I think you answered youre question already

weigh the love you have for him... if this problem weighs more... then ...

[reb_woods072683]

If I may just add, boyfriend kasi ang usapan dito. Yung asawa ko wala ding work siguro more than 1 year simula ng nagka baby kame. Mahirap siya pero buti nalang nakakakuha kami ng tulong sa kapatid niya from Japan. Tapos nagkawork na siya this January lang, at buti na lang at nakakatulong na siya sa expenses.

Totoo nga siguro na kapag malaki ang sweldo, maraming expenses. Hay.

[@JLO]

If I may just add, boyfriend kasi ang usapan dito. Yung asawa ko wala ding work siguro more than 1 year simula ng nagka baby kame. Mahirap siya pero buti nalang nakakakuha kami ng tulong sa kapatid niya from Japan. Tapos nagkawork na siya this January lang, at buti na lang at nakakatulong na siya sa expenses.

Totoo nga siguro na kapag malaki ang sweldo, maraming expenses. Hay.

Hello sis, i think it could help more, if you can share more of your story hihi,
Like nipag awayan nyo ba yun.. or niintindi mo sya...
Niisip mo po bang makipag hiwalay...


Thanks po

[reb_woods072683]

oo sis, dumating sa point na gusto ko siya hiwalayan. Kasi siyempre ako may stable job, siya wala, graduate ako, siya undergrad. Ayaw na ayaw pa naman ng tatay ko na tamad ang lalaki. Minsan tinatanong ko siya kung kelan siya maghahanap ng work, minsan hindi sumasagot, minsan nakukulitan siya. Bata pa kasi. 21 palang sya nung nabuntis ako at 26 ako nun.

Pero hindi naman ako nag give up, hindi pa kami kasal nun ha. Kasi Nov 2011 lang kami kinasal eh. Naging patient lang ako, ang ginawa niya humingi siya ng tulong sa ate niya habang wala pa siyang work. Buti nalang mabait yung ate niya.

Mahirap kasi iisipin mo na parang siya pasarap sa bahay, tapos ako trabaho ng trabaho. Ang dami naming pinagdaanan lalo na about financial problems, nabaon kami sa utang kasi ako lang nagtatrabaho nun. Until one time, yung pastor namin inalok siya ng work this January 2012, housekeeper sa isang small hotel. Excited na rin siya mag work para daw mabayran na namin yung mga utang namin. Hanggang ngayon, nandun pa rin siya, buti na lang.

[Mr.Punch]

If this goes on longer, I predict that the thread starter will next be posting in the thread below:

http://www.femalenetwork.com/girltalk/index.php/topic,223036.0/topicseen.html

[trew]

Ouch! I have been jobless for the last 3 mos...wonder what my gf is thinking...really hard to accept another job with salary lower than your last pay.

[Mr.Punch]

^ Pare tanong lang, so in those last 3 months, sino gumagastos sa dates ninyo?

[stylishmomy]

^^I can understand your reasoning but I think it's better to have a lower paying job than not having one at all.

[leynathan]

yung ibang lalaki kasi feeling nila mas "cool" yung pa happy-go-lucky kesa magkaroon ng work na mababa ang sahod. nakakababa ng pride especially kung mas successful ang babae.  that is kung immature talaga si guy.

mas may tendency kasi ang lalaki na mawalan ng gana pag walang opportunity kasi they're supposed to be providers. pampataas din kasi ng value mo ang stable job at competitive salary. pero kung talagang may skills, potential at opportunity naman tapos tamad ka pa rin, well iba na yun. 

[missgoodvibe]

It's been a year that my bf had graduated and he still doesn't have a job.

Nag-try naman siyang mag-apply once or twice. Then yun lang. I dont see any efforts na gusto niya makahanap na kagad for us. When i ask him kung bakit parang hindi siya nag-eeffort, he always says that hindi lang daw halata. Ayaw niya daw mahassle.. He's pressured daw. Im an engineer kasi. Ayun.

How do i tell him na hindi okay yung set-up para sa akin ng hindi magiging harsh para sakaniya? Hirap.

[stylishmomy]

^good to know BF mo palang cya sis.. are you still attracted to him? considering that you dont see the "effort" na makahanap cya ng work. For me kasi, no matter how physically attractive or sweet my man is, if he's not motivated, parang walang drive, tamad, it's a total turn off. Ang pangit talaga ng guy na ganyan.

[missgoodvibe]

^ Yes, still attracted and inlove.. But every time i think about his situation, i ask myself, is he right for me?

 Good thing that he's not the type na hiningian ako ng pera. When he has money (that he gets from his parents), binibigay niya sakin yun. And i know that he really loves me. Pero hindi yata keri ng love icompromise lahat. Minsan tuloy iniisip ko mukha ba akong pera? Lol. Kasi i really push him na to find a work. Natural lang naman siguro yun diba. We're not getting any younger. And love cannot provide everything.

[missgoodvibe]

^ Yes, still attracted and inlove.. But every time i think about his situation, i ask myself, is he right for me?

 Good thing that he's not the type na hiningian ako ng pera. When he has money (that he gets from his parents), binibigay niya sakin yun. And i know that he really loves me. Pero hindi yata keri ng love icompromise lahat. Minsan tuloy iniisip ko mukha ba akong pera? Lol. Kasi i really push him na to find a work. Natural lang naman siguro yun diba. We're not getting any younger. And love cannot provide everything.

[stylishmomy]

^hindi ka mukhang pera sis, ako siguro haha kasi pag bum ang guy and lazy for me he's nothing.
Good for you that you're still attracted and in love with him but like you said, di pwedeng LOVE lang.