Jobless BF :[

[redsh0es]

After 2 years sa callcenter, nagresign si bf last Jan 2012 dahil naging HR Specialist siya sa isang company. Pero after 1 month, nagresign rin siya dahil 9k lang sahod niya ang 6am-11pm ang pasok niya without being paid ang overtime!
From March until now jobless siya, why?
1. Di siya pumapasa sa exams ng company 4x although I helped him naman to review
2. Di siya pumupunta sa mga interview pag tinatamad siya
3. Tinanggihan niya yung offer as bank teller, kasi daw mababa sahod tapos ayaw niya na ganun lang ang trabaho, at gusto niya office
4. Ayaw niya ng minimun lang ang sahod, ayaw niya ng may pasok ang saturday and holidays, 8hrs na work lang dapat at kung ano ano pa. sobrang choosy niya!
5. Nirefer ko na siya sa mga friends ko pero it usually ended up na tinanggihan niya yung work dahil it did not meet his requirements

nawawalan na ko ng gana eh, ilang beses na kami nag away dahil pakialamera raw ako, masyado ko raw siya dinadrag para maghanap ng work. di na nga kami nagkikita dahil wala siyang pera (ultimo pamasahe wala!)

I hate it. maganda career path ko pero sablay ako sa kanya. nagsasawa narin ako intindihin siya. what will I do? ayoko naman lumabas na masama pag nkipagbreak ako..

[j a n i z]

nakakawalang gana talaga yun ganyan lalo na wala ka nakikitang effort sa bf mo na maghanap ng work. parang ang lumalabas, sa dami ng dahilan nya para lang di magustuhan whatever work na meron sana sa harap nya.

di naman siguro masama na isipin mo ang future mo with him. mahirap magtaguyod ng pamilya na ikaw lang ang meron. i've been there, may mga regrets ako. medyo masama sa loob ko na halos ako bumubuhay samin.

pero GOD is good. maganda na work ni hubby at ramdam na ramdam ko na sya na ang mas powerful samin. pero unlike you, si hubby, super hanap din work kaya lang, di talaga maganda economy natin that time, nagkaron ng tanggalan nun. so there.. my hubby is now an engineer. nun panahon na di sya makahanap ng work, nagreview na lang sya for board exam. ang luckily, board passer na sya.

[eninaj_kay]

hi sis! i feel for you. maybe hindi pa lang nasosort out ng bf mo ang mga priorities niya. maybe if you give him time and space marerealize niya yung mga mawawala sa kanya kapag pinagpatuloy niya pa yung pagiging choosy and lazy niya.  

And for you sis, don't let yourself be miserable. Move on kung sa tingin mo yun ang kailangan and don't think na ikaw yung magiging masama kapag ginawa mo yun. Let's be realistic, kailangan natin ng trabaho lalo na kung may mga plans tayo sa future dba? Don't waste your time and effort sa taong hindi naman willing magexert din ng effort para sa inyong dalawa. 

[aquacharly]

If he does not have the qualities you look for in a man for the long-term commitment, let go.

nawawalan na ko ng gana eh, ilang beses na kami nag away dahil pakialamera raw ako, masyado ko raw siya dinadrag para maghanap ng work.

I hate it. maganda career path ko pero sablay ako sa kanya. nagsasawa narin ako intindihin siya. what will I do? ayoko naman lumabas na masama pag nkipagbreak ako..

May 1 babae with a sack of rice.
Rice, kasi important  yan sa buhay.
She has big dreams, and wants to swim in deep waters.   But she tires easily swimming in deep waters with that sack of rice. Worse, pag napagod sya -- hindi naman  sya matulungan ng sack of rice to keep afloat. Eh lulubog sya with the sack of rice, eventually.

What is she to do?
 If that girl wants to hold on to her sako ng bigas, eh di -- dream ordinary. Dream safe. Don sya sa
shoreline maglakad.  At least pag napagod sya,  puede upan the sack of rice.

Your bf will not advance as fast as you until he learns humility.
Who is he to be demanding that jobs he is qualified for & interested in must fit his work  condition preferences?
He is just starting, dami na demands.   

Having big dreams & ambition is hard, really.
Perhaps, it is better to have a pair of flippers than a sack of rice to swim in deep waters?
Your choice:  swim, or lakad  sa shoreline?
Why the heck be bothered na mag mukha kang masama? For being truthful, for acting in your best interest? Darling, men have dumped women for lesser reasons (like for a bigger bra size)

.  Get going -- act on your best interest. 

[tikitakz]

i feel for you, parehas tayo ng situation, pero sa amin he's looking for a job naman, kaya lang let's all be realistic sa buhay ngayon hindi ka makakabuhay ng pamilya kung minimum ang sweldo mo,hay mahirap talaga, we want na to get married pero hindi pa pwede only because he doesn't have a high paying job, sabi ko nga try niya magnegosyo na lang eh baka sakali maging mas ok pa. ako naman kasi i'm working sa call center ok naman ako. ayoko lang pakasal ng hindi pa siya ready and wala pa stable job. so we'll wait

[tikitakz]

^ i agree dapat kasi may effort man lang. dapat kaya ka niya buhayin saka parang wala naman ka-plano plano sa buhay yung guy. kaya if kaya mo better let him go na.

[tomatostellar]

that's so frustrating =( i feel you

support mo sya as much as you can,as in be patient, talk to him etc,
but when you feel na fed up ka na talaga, then let go =/
at least wala kang regrets in the end

[reb_woods072683]

sabi mo sis nag call center siya? In fairness naman kasi, mas malaki talaga ang offer sa call center kesa sa regular jobs. Kaya siguro naghahanap ng mas mataas na sweldo sa regular jobs. Yan ang hirap kasi pag nakatikim na ng malaking sweldo, syempre hindi na siya tatanggap ng low payig job, diba? Baket hindi na lang siya bumalik sa dating call center na pinapasukan niya? Or apply to other call center, ang dami dami dito plus may edge na siya since may experience na siya, baka maofferan pa siya ng mas malaki sa basic niya sa past call center niya. Suggest mo lang. O kaya iopen mo sa kanya yun, baka nga yun ang hanap niya.

[reb_woods072683]

^^ I'm sorry about your baby sis redhead69.

But with what you just posted, the guy is not worth it. Wag mo na balikan at tama na iwanan mo na siya. Kawawa ka lang. Pano na langif mabuntis ka uli? Iiwan ka uli niya? Don't risk na sis. There are better guys out there for you. Be very careful in choosing your partner this time.

[zee87]

@redhead69, im sorry about the baby.
Im happy you moved on.

@TS,
Same thing happened to me before. Mabait siya na bf and mahal ko talaga siya. Pero yun nga, wala rin makitang matinong work. Di ko makita sa kanya na nageeffort tlaga siya.

I broke up with him eventually. There were times na pumupunta siya sa boarding house ko nun saying na may ibang guy ako kaya ako nakipagbreak sa kanya. I heard from his siblings and relatives how miserable he was when i left him pero di ko pa rin siya binalikan.

Until, nabalitaan ko na nagabroad siya. May work na siya ngayon. At everytime na nakakausap ko siya, he always say sorry for what happened to us. Ngayon, naiintindihan niya na kung bakit ko siya iniwan nun. He still says though that he still loves me. Pero iba na ang situation ngayon.

Pero sa totoo lang, if pwede ako mamili ngayon kung sino gusto ko makasama pag tanda ko, siya yun. That's how i like him.

What im saying is, kahit ganun ko siya ka-like (di na love kasi im currently in a relationship), i was able to let go of him.

[reb_woods072683]

^^ That's nice sis. Ikaw ang naging inspiration niya to get a job and make a living. You should be proud.

[zee87]

what makes me proud talaga is he understood the reason why i broke up with him. 

[reb_woods072683]

Kaya nga kasi alam na niya ang feeling mo nung ikaw may work, at sya wala and you spend for him.

[france0220325143]

just a piece of advice.. do not ever spend or give him any money. kaya namimihasa eh. si ex ko dati, ganyan din. we lived together and since he knew that i was working naman, kaya ko naman sya buhayin, ayun, sarap ng panood ng tv sa bahay maghapon. gusto pa pagsilbihan sya pag kumakain, etc. parang housewife eh sya tong nakatambay lang naman.

[reb_woods072683]

nakikipag balikan siya? oh no sis! twice 100x muna please.. if he already did it to you once, he MIGHT do it again.

[bu-bu shine]

OMG.. same tayo ng situation sis redshoes! actually, im kinda mad nga right now and then bigla kong nakita thread na to. hay!

sa kin naman mag-3 years na kami. once lang siya nagkaroon ng work, for 3 months lang then na terminate siya. i think ginawa ko na lahat, dati nagalit na din siya kasi nga masyado daw akong pusher..meron daw siyang "timeline" and he knows what he's doing. then, i let him be.. wala na siyang naririnig sa kin but ganun pa rin. till now wala siyang work.

I love him pero ang hirap magmaintain ng relationship na ganito. gusto ko magtravel, magfoodtrip and enjoy life but i always have to consider him. matagal na kami and ayaw ko naman itapon yung relationship namin nang ganun ganun lang. baka isipin nya mukha akong pera. may plans daw siya to go abroad late this year. medyo matagal pa yun and di naman sure.

well, i think kaya ko pa naman magtiis. i dont know if im just settling or i should let him go. 

[ri-anne]

i was also able to experience that situation mga sis....
ilang years na rin kami when it happened (we started kasi during college yrs eh)...nauna syang nagkawork saken tapos mataas yung sweldo, maraming benefits, kilalang semicon company.
unfortunately bumagsak economy at nagtanggalan, but they were given BiG amount of money.

umabot ng ilang months wala syang work (kasi dami pang pera eh).. nagwowork na ako, hanggang naubos yung pera nya (di man lang naisip mag-ipon, bili dito, bigay kay ganto, etc)

At tulad ng bf ni TS, mataas ang standard na sa paghanap ng work.

nakakatawa nga eh kasi kinausap sya ng dad ko...i forogt the exact words but something like not being passive, dapat mapagmaraan, hindi tamad, etc ayaw nyang ganun ang makatuluyan ng anak nya. Dapat marunong bumuhay ng pamilya, etc
At kung talaga dawng seryoso sya (bf) sa akin, dapat iprove nya.. At binigyan syang certain amt of time na dapat magkawork (2-3months i think) at pag after nun wala pa rin, dapat maghiwalay na kami. 

ayun, before naman natapos yun, may work na sya 

Btw, he's my hubby now.
my point is, kung seryoso yung guy, gagawa at gagawa ng paraan yan.

[cosmic girl]

you really need to rethink your relationship with him because in the long run he will just drag you down, baka sumbatan ka pa niya of your success

I'm sorry but grabe naman your bf to not even exert some effort and who is he to demand higher pay or turn down jobs? he would rather starve ganun ba? what kind of mentality is that? Ganun talaga you need to start at the bottom to get to the top. If he wants higher pay then maybe he should go back to school and enroll in a post graduate course or establish his own business.

[Alucard]

Aw.. mahirap nga ang ganyan. Mas ok na kahit papa-ano e may sweldo ka. kahit kaka ramput lang yan at least meron kang sariling pera pang gastos.

I thought hindi siya nakakapasa. if thats the case kasi pwede naman siyang sumubok sa iba pang mga companies. Pero if meron naman palang mga trabaho na inaalok na sakanya at tinatanggihan niya, e, wala na mga companies ang problema kundi nasa sakanya na.

Given that I am in that situation, I would take that job muna kahit minimum lang or kahit hindi nag meet sa requirements ko then while nasa trabaho I would look for another job na pwede kong malipatan.

[jojo2978]

Beggars can't be choosy.

Nalulungkot lang ako sa story, kasi most of the sisses here want to give up pag ganoon ang situation.  Sabagay, we cannot live on bread alone nga raw, so kung love lang din, it will surely not hold.  Kahit pro relationship ako, if walang effort coming from one end, anong magagawa but to let go.