Mom and I Not Talking for 3 weeks: Should I make the first move?

[aoshi_01]

My mom and I had this massive fight 3 weeks ago. It was over something really petty (I forgot to bring home something which was not really urgently needed) and she exploded in anger. She was accusing me with hurtful stuff like how I don't know how to look back where I came from. In addition to that she even went on about me not achieving anything of worth.

Sa sobrang galit ko, nasumbatan ko siya. Although I did not emphasize the few things I achieved like getting a promotion at work and other stuff since it has absolutely nothing to do with the cause of our argument. It ended with her flinging a drinking glass at me (which I was able to avoid, thank God, although our oven's glass door is not as fortunate).

We haven't talked since that day, maski ang Dad hindi ako kinakausap. Para akong ghost sa bahay na pagka-galing ng work diretso na lang sa kwarto. Total cold shoulder treatment.

Should I make the first move? What do you think sisses.... 

[zee87]

hala, tinatanong pa ba yan mam.. siyempre, kaw ang anak, kaw magpakumbaba.
Why did i say that? it happened to me before.
And I swear, i will never do it again.

I saw how hurt my mother was when i refused to talk to her.
Infairness naman pala sa kalagayan ko, she was the first one who tried reaching out to me.
Ako lang yung matigas.

Pero di pa rin excuse kung di siya nagrereach out sayo.
Sabi mo nga petty lang yun.
Masyado lang mataas ang emosyon nyong dalawa.
So go na... make amends.

TIP lang para di masyadong awkward na nagpapakumbaba ka na.
Start conversing with her about anything.
Ex: Dumating nga pala yung kapitbahay natin kanina, hinahanap kayo.
Or Pupunta ko ng mall mamaya, may papabili ba kayo?

[aoshi_01]

^Parang feeling ko kasi mahihirapan ako. My boyfriend tried to mediate. Sinabihan lang siya ni mudra ng "Pabayaan mo na lang siya." Sakit lang teh. Iniintindi ko na lang na perhaps approaching menopause na si mudra, pero napaka-sakit kasi nung sabihan ka ng "wala ka pang nararating" na para bang feeling ko napaka-baba ng tingin niya sa akin.

[1choi_ko9]

^ganyan din ang mom ko sis...napaka uber super duper sakit magsalita....to the point na inisip ko...anak ba nya ko? kase nakaya nya sabihin yun?

But the thing is, matanda na mom ko...and kahit na super sama ng loob ko sakanya at away-bati ang drama namin madalas and kahit may pamilya na ako sarili, iniintindi ko na lang sya. Inspite of every hurtful things I hear from her, I humble myself and forgive. Mahirap I know, pero like sabi ng older sister ko...try make amends now kesa iregret mo later on.

I love my mom inspite of all the hurtful things na nasabi at nagawa nya sakin. But like i said since i know she's old na and plus iniisip ko na lang maybe she has a lot of problems din na like any other moms na hindi masabi sa mga anak...there I understand.

Im sure ayaw mo naman maging dahilan pag nagkasakit ang mommy mo or you know worst case scenario....somewhere in your heart mafifeel mo rin na ayaw mo rin maranasan yung pangit na ending....knock on wood. Kase forever regret yun.

You know what'sholding us back, kahit ako....PRIDE! Maybe even your mom.

In my case, since i have family of my own, I dont want my relation with my kids na maging ganon like me and my mom. Kase masyado yun hurtful... Ayun lang...

Try talking with your mom na sis....it is better to be humble than bitter. Become better than bitter.

Goodluck sis

[sixteen16]

sis, say sorry. kaw na lang ang umintindi at magpakumbaba.. gusto lang nila ng pinapahalagahan/nilalambing sila lalo na kapag tumatanda na sila. kung may nasabi man na masasakit, kalimutan mo na lang. nanay mo yan eh.

[k_heart]

yes sis, dahil ikaw ang anak, mauna ka ng mag-sorry! it's the right thing to do! : )

[shineadet]

i agreewith them sis. ako pag naiinis ako sa nanay ko, iniisip ko na lang how she cared for me when i was little.  siguro naman may memories ka ng mga ganon. isipin mo na lang yun sis. and isa pa iniisip ko din na hindi na kailangan ng nanay ko ng stress, ayoko na sya bigyan ng stress. as much as possible, i please my mom. medyo spoiled sya sakin kase pag nagsusumbong sya sakin re my pamangkins, super rescue agad ako. hehe. i love my parents so much!

[mishyewarians]

Yup..u make the first move..it happened to me before, when i was still single living w/ my parents..now i have family na, di ko na sila kasama..and i miss my mom.. lalo na pg sad ako and nagkakaproblem sa MIL..

[aquacharly]

I know  the right thing to do  is to make the first move. But, I have not done per my advice several  times.  All I can say is:  incredible! my mom at times. Lolz.   Ka grrrrrr.  I would wait for her to make the 1st move, then make it easy for her -- as if walang nangyari.   

Let things cool down. As in, hwag mo nang gatungan the tension.  See what you can do to contribute through some little considerate act/s to the smooth running of the household.  That will make it easier for your mom/dad to break the ice.   

[aoshi_01]

Thanks for the input, sisses. I really appreciate it. Now if only I get the courage to break the ice between me and my mom. Parang ang dating kasi is patibayan kami since both of us have very strong personalities.

If there's one thing I was grateful about the recent rains, medyo nag-ease up na ang tension. Although ang Dad pa lang ang kinakausap ko. It started with me arriving home nung kalakasan ng ulan and asking my father if hindi ba madadamay yung business namin sa baha (the establishment is located in Pasig, near the river that overflowed).

Like what sis Aquacharly said, I still do my share in making sure the house runs smoothly. Although my parents never obliged me to pitch in on the house expenses, every payday mag-g-grocery ako (medyo challenging lang since Dad is diabetic and dami nang bawal). I'm still hoping that Mom and I can resolve this before the year ends.

[aoshi_01]

Update.... Mom and I made up na. Although I never really apologized, ako na ang lumapit. Thank you so much for the helpful advises, sisses.

[harlet]

good for you sis.....pag nagkakagalit din kami ni madir....walang kibuan to the max.....abutin ng ilang linggo, palamig lang......tapos, parang wala ng nangyari.....tapos, ulit uli, haha.....