emotional cheating

[sats]

mga sis I started talking to my ex bf, we have decided to be friends..but bakit parang may mali? parang nakokonsensya ako from doing this?nahihiya ako sa hubby ko..
recently lang kami naging mag friends ni ex, he often emails me mga sweet messages like "take care" and that he misses me...
I really do not know what to do..I long for his emails, it makes me happy..somehow "kilig rin"
BUT at the same time nagui-guilty ako...parang mali na i-entertain ko sya ng ganon...WALA NA KAMI...and walang balikan nagaganap but since he was part of my life...meron pa rin akong "soft spot" for him...thats it...I love my husband so much.. but i cant even delete my ex from my fb list...di ko rin kaya...Am I cheating my hubby emotionally? what do I do?please help.........

[aquacharly]

How you feel about it is what's relevant, not however we may see it.
If you feel kinda guilty/uncomfortable --    take heed at tigilan  mo na yan.

My 1st ex is trying to establish communications with me -- just for friendship -- we both know that.
In my case, I did not respond coz I just know that though harmless it may all be, if hubby finds out -- he will be hurt somehow kahit deadma deadma nya.  Baket naman he may feel a little hurt? - coz we all know there is history involved. 
I am a big girl now, I am married -- I should not need such "kilig" na to make my day. 
But that's just me, and my perspective.

Para Lang yan yung issues of our other sis here di ba.  "Take care"/"have a good day"/"kumain ka na ba?"/"thinking of you"/"missing your smile"  etc etc  texts from ex-es or another woman to their  hubbies -- raise red flags na. Di ba?   If ok lang you see what your ex texts you on your hubby's cell fom another woman.  -- if ok Lang yan sa yo, sa inyong mag asawa -- Sige, kilig. 

[IloveMybabs]

Hi Sis

Saken i do believe na ex can never be friends..
Kasi meron kayong kissing moment kilig moments dati, and sa tuwing mag uusap kayo hindi mo maiiwasan na maalala un.. At syempre dahil dun kikiligin ka uli..
Kia siguro nakaka ramdam ka ng guilt feeling kasi alam mo sa sarili mo na may asawa kana at mali na kiligin ka dahil lang kausap mo yong ex mo..

If you really loves your husband, you should stop communicating with him..
Kahit hindi muna sya burahin sa fb mo, pero make sure hanggang tingin ka lang sa profile nea..

Sabi nga ng hubby ko mabuti ng nag iingat hindi mo naman alam yong susunod na mangyayari..
Hindi nea din kasi ako pinapayagan mag accept kahit nanligaw lang saken dati

You know na masasaktan hubby mo pag nalaman yan kia if you love him you will stop now..

[guilleanne]

when I was a kid my mom told me to always listen to the still small voice that will always guide me which is the holy spirit or the holy ghost, and she made us wear a CTR ring which stands for "Chose the Right" which meant to remind us to always chose the right, i grew up in a mormon household kasi.

What i'm saying is sis you KNOW, na mali ang ginagawa mo, emotional cheating man yan or hindi alam mo na MALI.

harmless you think, me thinks otherwise. You are exposing yourself to temptation, don't ever bet on it na kaya mong hindi gawin ang mag cheat, don't! it's best to get rid of temptation.

Why I also mentioned the CTR ring I used to wear is because you being married must have a wedding ring? that should always remind you of your vows.

[rianne_mallows]

when in doubt, dont.

why communicate? bakit mo iririsk masaktan yung taong mahal mo because of someone from the PAST? worth it ba nasaktan yung asawa dahil sa kanya? worth it ba magkalamat relasyon niyo kapag nalaman niya? para saan? kasi kinikilig ka? wow naman. pbb teens?

ito naman si lalake/ex? anong trip yan? kung iyan eh responsable at mature, alam niyang improper yung mga ginagawa niya. flirting with a married girl? wow men astig nga naman daw diba?  feeling niya papatol ka while you're married.. haller!!.. anong dating sayo ulit? nakakakilig ba?  ang tingin niya, cheap ka at papatol kahit may asawa ka na. tingin niya naman sa asawa mo, kayang kaya niya iputan sa ulo. nakakakilig ba yun?  gising girl!

umayos ka. mag-isip isip ka. magdasal ka

[princessrio]

kapatid, konsensya na nagsalita sa yo. an ex is an ex. there should be NO MORE "soft spot" left lalo pa at married ka na.

i also have been friends with my ex's. i don't feel guilty. why? kasi wala na sa akin lahat yon. walang mga "take care" or "miss you" pacute effect. we don't usually talk or email. parang acquaintance na nga lang sila for me e. i don't feel that "kilig" feeling. di na ako high school para sa mga ganyan. besides, my husband provides the enough kilig and love that i need.

simula na ng pagtataksil yan neng. bakit? sa yo na nanggaling. basahin mo ulit yung post mo especially the following.. then tell us kung hindi pagtataksil yan.
"I LONG FOR HIS EMAILS. IT MAKES ME HAPPY."
"I CANT EVEN DELETE MY EX FROM MY FB..DI KO RIN KAYA."

ngayon pa lang, tigilan mo na yan. baka mamaya hindi mo na malabasan yan. baka mahulog ka dyan at hindi ka na makabangon, lalong malaki ang problema mo.

[donzski_doinks]

according to an old cliche "friends can be lovers but lovers could not be friends." may mga bagay na masarap alalahanin pero hindi magandang balikan... Siguro ang dapat manaig sayo ay yung respeto sa asawa mo at sa commitment nyo. Yung ex, history na yun. Past na. Whether he is harmless or not, dapat p din dun ibinabaon na sa limot. Focus on what you have and not on what you had. Yung oras na iginugugol mo sa pakikipag communicate sa ex mo eh gamitin m0 nalang para alagaan at lambingin si hubby mo. He has the right to all your time and attention.

[glamorosa_09]

It's up to you naman sis if you will listen to your conscience.

What you're doing is playing with fire, playing around temptation where in you can never win. Best thing to do is cut all communications. But at the end of the day, it's still your choice.

This may sound offensive, but marriage is for adults, not for kids in adult's body.

[nahliana]

My ex has been trying to befriend me for two years but I never responded to any of his messages, although he clearly stated that friendship is all he's after. Single or not, I will never befriend my ex. It's no use going back to the past because I am happy living my present life.

Think of your husband's reaction if ever he finds out, think of the possibilities of you falling for your ex again. If it will complicate things, just stop communicating with your ex. Instead, build an even better relationship with your husband. If it's the 'kilig' thing that's stopping you from cutting communications with your ex, remove traces of him. Delete all his emails and remove him from your friend list.

Whenever I want to get out of a situation, I'd like to read this article that I got from a thread here in GT. Read it sis, it may help: http://paulocoelhoblog.com/2010/12/31/closing-cycles-eng-espa-port/

[gab54]

sis, if baligtad naman ang sutuation. ur hubby secretly exchanging emails/messages/texts with his ex. at nabasa mo ang "i miss u", "take care", etc.
tigilan mo na yan sis. wala naman magandang patutunguhan yan. instead, think of how u will experience "kilig" once again with ur hubby.

[rianne_mallows]

^good for you. tama yan

[phoebe1811]

namiss mo lang siguro yung moments niyo dati.
in the 1st place sana hindi ka na nakipagcommunicate. what for?!
you'll know naman na once malaman ni hubby yan he'll be disappointed.
you just got "bored" siguro and ang pagmessage mo ke ex eh naexcite ka dahil sa 'thrill'. nothing more.
my POV 

lilipas din yan since you deleted him na sa FB.

[gridiron babe]

dinelete mo na sya sa fb... sana nga mag-stop na whatever "thing" that you had for good. soooobrang sakit sa ulo niyan, sis, if things get out of hand. not only that, ang dami ring masasaktan.

[Msfi]

Mas tama talaga na i-stop mo na yung communication with him kung ganyan na yung nagiging feelings mo, naaawa lang ako sa ex mo kasi nananahimik na sya at ikaw yung nag initiate ng communication.  Sana ma explain mo kahit papaano na ititigil mo na yung communication mo sa kanya kaysa biglang wala na lang.

[interruptedz]

kahit pa friends lang.to think na you felt guilty about it signals na dapat tigilan mo na.im a guy and i will feel bad pag ganito ginagawa ng gf ko

[weweng20]

wala namang masam makipag friends .. as long as you know your limitations hehe

[katrinac]

sis, i agree with their advices. habang maaga pa, itigil mo na yan. the fact palang, na you feel guilty ibig sabihin, alam mo na mali. di naman tayo ma guilty kapag wala tayong ginagawang masama diba? so ibig sabihin, may mali talaga dun. How would you react and feel kung si hubby mo ang may nakakausap. Masakit ba? try mo narin to put his self on your situation, and i know masakit yun para sayo. so wag mo na hayaan na malaman pa nya, and mas ma develop pa yung feelings mo kay ex mo.  it could be na namimiss mo lang yung kilig moments nyo ni hubby, so my suggestion is, mag focus ka nalang kay hubby mo para bumalik yung dating kayo. and kung love mo si hubby mo, you would stop this, kasi i know for sure, masasaktan sya at masasaktan kapag nalaman nya yan.  God bless you and your relationship with your hubby sis!
kung nakakapagsend sya sayo ng messages, block him nalang. para di na sya makapag hanap ng way to communicate with you. i guess yan nalang ang maganda way na gawin mo sis.

[weweng20]

ahehe ang drama naman !

[crazycoolchic19]

Ignore your ex, dyan nagsisimula ang lahat,kung hinde mo sinasagot yan titigil rin yan, control your emotions dahil alam mo namang mali yan, naeexcite ka lang sa mga sinasabi nyan, at alam mo namang walang pupuntahan ang pakikipakaibigan sa mga exes.dont let yourself fall to him.at wag mong hayaan na masira ang marriage nyo dahil sa lalaking yun.wag kang maglaro ng apoy sis.

[FayeP]

sis sats, sa emails ni ex, kinikilig ka..di mo na ba nafi-feel ang ganung kilig ke hubby???

after I got married, my ex started to text me again saying na bakit daw pinakawalan nya ako etc etc mga ganung ek-ek...so syempre since ex ko cya at madaming reasons kun bakit hindi naging kami eh di ko na nireplyan, kahit isang email or text di ako reply...kasi...walang point para mag usap pa kami (although di naman ganun ka-bitter un paghihiwalay namin)...ayoko lang na malaman ng asawa ko na makikipag email email text text ako sa ex ko kasi I know for sure na mag-iisip cya...

ayoko bigyan ng cause un asawa ko para sumama ang loob sakin...

suggestion ko sis, sa asawa mo hanapin un kilig