Single mom -finally found a husband

[FoxyPhoenix]

I am curious about single moms who finally found a husband who is not the biological dad of her child?

How is starting a family with your husband given you already have a child? How are they now that you all live in the same house? Who disciplines? etc..

Finally I found Mr. Right and will be settling soon yey Kaso sometimes I feel jittery about how my family will get along. Baka may problem na mag occur, knowing my hubby-to-be na disciplinarian and my 5 year old son na matigas ulo.

I look forward to any replies..

[airwaterfire]

pwede mag reply dito?

hello..kahit ganun ugali ng h2b mo, nagkakasundo ba sila ngayon ng baby mo?

baka kasi pagdating ng panahon masasaktan ang bata?

my sister is a single mom. kaya ang lagi ko sinasabi sa kanya, unahin ang

anak niya hindi ang pag boboyfriend. dahil baka mapahamak pa ang anak niya.

[FoxyPhoenix]

Airwaterfire, yan ang worry ko, baka sa pagiging disciplinarian ni h2b eh magkaroon ng problem. Pero minsan iniisip ko baka good thing na disciplinarian siya kasi ako hindi, para balance lang. Hindi naman nananakit si h2b.

But at the same time nilulook forward ko narin to kasi I wanted to have my own complete family. Gusto ko lang malaman experiences ng iba how all family members managed the transition.

[polar_bear]

pa join.. 

Dati din akong single mom bago ako nakapagasawa.  Hinde naman kme nahirapan magadjust lalo na yung daughter ko, siguro dahil matagal muna kaming naging bf/gf bago nagpakasal ni hubby.  Two  years old palang ang daughter ko nung nameet ko si hubby.. at nung nagpakasal kame eh 8 years old na sya.  So si hubby na yung naging parang father figure ng anak ko aside from her lolo.  Close naman sila ni hubby.. and like you, disciplinarian din si hubby.. pero hinde naman sya mahigpit at nanakit.. gusto lang ni hubby eh may respeto sa kanya yung anak ko.  Tinuring na rin nyang parang tunay na anak yung anak ko..at yun din ang gusto nya, na ituring syang parang tunay na tatay ng anak ko.

Bago kame magpakasal, eh pinagusapan na namin ng hubby ko ang lahat ng mga issues na puwede naming maencounter about my daughter, kumbaga yung past, present and future ng anak ko eh pinagusapan na namin.  Sinabi ko sa kanya yung mga fears ko like baka pag nakaanak na kme ng sarili eh hinde na nya mpansin ang daughter ko.  He assured me naman na di mangyayari yun, at totoo nga, dahil may anak na kme pero same treatment pa rin sya sa daughter ko.   

[Msfi]

Bonded na ba sis c bf mo & your son? IMO there will be conflict pag di nil a tanggap ang isa't isa. Your bf has to be patient with him and your son needs to learn to accept na bf will be a part of your family. Plus, ikaw din dapat he will never hear from you na bf has no right to discipline him kasi anak mo lang. Masakit kasi sa ating mga mom pag may ibang nag dicipline sa anak natin.  Another thing is if magkaron na kayo ng baby nyo, sana di magbago pagtingin ni bf mo sa son mo. Yun kasi ang tingin ko na mas magiging problem na may malaking effect sa son mo.

My brother is a widower, my niece was 2 months old when her mom died. She was 5 when my brother remarried. Malaki na sya ngayon and but she grew up with my parents, pero tapatan Lang naman mga bahay namin pero never sya inalagan ng step mom nya kahit nung wala pa silang anak. The most na nagawa nya is ibili ng needs sa school or shop for clothes or shoes which is minsan Lang. Wala kaming na feel na pag care from SIL. Nung nagkaanak sila lalong na left out niece ko sa kanila though may effort namn ng konti sa bro ko sa pag intindi sa kanya. Sa ngayon talagang d nya feel na part sya nung family nila, mas close sya sa anak ko. Bihira lang nila isama niece ko pag umaalis silang pamilya. 

[FoxyPhoenix]

Thanks Polar_bear and Msfi

That's nice to hear na hindi kayo nahirapan mag adjust polar_bear my son was also 2 years old when they got introduced, actually ang buong alam ng son ko si bf ko ang daddy niya (my son didn't get a chance to know his dad, and ayoko na rin). Nung bago palang kami ni bf sabi niya sana raw mai-apelido niya sa kanya son ko, kaso may problem kami kasi nakaapelido sa biological dad ang anak ko, hindi ko alam kung pano namin maiaapelido sa bf ko kapag kinasal na kami. Puro magaganda naman intentions ni bf kay son, like gusto niya may savings kami para sa education nung bata and gusto niya sa gantong school siya ipasok kasi magandang school daw yun, and gusto rin niyang turuan ng basketball and swimming etc etc.

Pero somehow napapansin ko anak ko na parang pabago bago isip kapag sineset ko na yung mind niya na sooner or later titira na kami sa bagong house kasama si bf, parang ayaw niyang umalis ng house namin at malayo sa lola niya, which I understand. Worry ko is si bf, na dapat patient nga siya na intindihin anak ko na at first mahihirapan siyang magadjust. SIguro masyado lang akong nagwoworry sa mga bagay na eventually magiging maayos din..

[Msfi]

^need Lang na I adopt ni bf mo ang son mo para maipangalan din sa kanya. You'll just need a lawyer for that at may mga papers from dswd alabang.

[eisen3]

I am having problems with my husband who is not the father of my sons. He is too much of a disciplinarian and he constantly yells at my kids at the slightest mistakes. My kids are ages 8 and 10 and they are too young to be forced to maturity already just like what my husband wants. Now, I have asked that we separate because my kids are suffering emotional trauma because of his constant shouting. Super sakit sa akin to see that my kids are being treated like that. I made a stand and chose my kids over him.

[polar_bear]

^have you talked to your husband about it?  Kawawa naman talaga ang mga bata pag sobra na ang "disiplina"  at palaging pinapagalitan at sinisigawan.  Tama lang na pinili mo mga kids mo. 

[eisen3]

Yes sis polar_bear but all he does everytime is also yell at me saying i am a spoiler. I got tired of him na. He said he only wants them to learn their lessons but I believe the degree of discipline is not appropriate for his age