Guys, do you feel bothered by your wife/gf's sexual past?

[sacred cow]

Like Richard P. and how he married Maricar R.?

He still accepted her and they're lucky to be with each other.

Richard P. wouldn't have a shot with Maricar R. if that scandal didn't leak. Maricar was supposed to
get married to some businessman who doesn't want his wife to have a shady past and left her.
Maricar R. settled for Richard P. because she knew she'd have a hard time to look for a "quality'' guy who'd
want to marry her despite what happened, Richard P. on the other hand won the jackpot because of
the circumstances since he knew he wouldn't be able to get someone na ka-level ni Maricar na walang
shady past. I think masusumbat niya yan kay Maricar in the future if ever mag-away, pero wag naman sana
but he's also only human

and not to rain on anyone's parade, to those girls na naghahanap ng kanilang Richard P., make sure you're also a Maricar. In short, dapat you have other things to compensate pa rin...like in her case, she's a doctor, an actress and a very hot body.

[minatay91]

^ OMGLOL *realitycheck*

may I expound..? Maricar is lucky to get someone na kahit ano na.scandalize siya, someone still loves her (I guess) ... and swerte si Richard na parang nakaka.jackpot siya. (may scandal lang)

haha ganun ba?

Richard Poon, to me, represents what a real man should be like. I can't remember how many times I heard a guy dismiss or degrade a woman because of her sexual history — as if her worth as a person rests on virginity alone. I'm sure you're familiar with these lines "Pare wag na sya, laspag na yan eh," "Dude iba na lang, natikman na yan ni (insert name here)," like women with sexual experience don't deserve love and respect. Guys, seriously? Are you that special? Imagine if women selected husbands based on virginity too, baka 5% lang ang makasal lol.

Maricar was videotaped having sex with a guy (a huge douche bag) and almost everyone saw that. She was called whatever and she was judged. But look at her now, she made the most beautiful bride. Richard Poon is the luckiest guy on Earth. Marry a woman because you love her for who she is, not how you want her to be. She is as important as you, her feelings, her needs and wants. Marry her past, be her present and together, create your future.


as cliche as that sounds. Siguro exemption si Maricar kase sobrang ganda naman niya, sexy at smart.. Why can't the guys forgive her for that? ang taas naman ng standards nila


PARANG THIS SITUATION APPLIES TO BEAUTIFUL WOMEN hahahahahaa so girls play it safe nalang, behave nalang, use it as a bargaining and testing chip I know I do. hahahaa. For some reason, unless hindi talaga makaya mukha mo, virginity is like so prized na nowadays hahahaha yehey parang +++ value mo ahahaha as shallow as that seems.

[anon]

I stumbled upon a forum from a Western viewpoint (North America). There was a thread about a guy being so bothered by his wife's sexual past, and sinking to depression because counselling/meds didn't help, even after 30 years of being married. I was taken by surprise, kasi diba the West is the land of equality, women empowerment, liberalism, etc, and yet I see quite a number of men who confess that it really pains them to think the wife has been with another man before them. So it got me wondering, if these supposedly "liberated" men can feel/think this way, ano naman kaya ang Pinoy guys, since we still have traditional values compared to them?

I guess the guy didn't know about her wife's past before he married her?

In my case and from my experience, it wouldn't matter really. Its a case of "warts and all".

[sacred cow]

I also can't remember how many times I hear girls say that they'd want a nice guy like Richard P. but when a nice
guy is already standing in front them, they reject him and get pumped and dumped by the douche bag alpha na (e.g. Hayden Kho).
After getting their fair share of guys (mostly jerks who just had their way with her), then she'll find or go back to
the nice guy provider and settle down and live happily ever after. sorry but not all guys want to be treated second best or just the last resort. if girls wanted nice guys naman pala from the start, then why don't we see nice guys like Richard P. get wild monkey sex like guys like Hayden Kho. Unfair naman diba?

[minatay91]

a bit OT about the sexual history but for arguments sake,

Because girls say what they think they want in a way they don't offend *due to social stigma*

"I want a nice guy!" (me too!) but is that all that we want? I think the trait "nice" is a default in guys already especially in front of pretty women

Why just settle for something "nice" and average.. when there's something nice and better? (mga average looking, wag paasa. example lang ito. wag masyadong choosy!)

oh, don't tell me only guys can select and act upon their instincts now? So women can't make stupid decisions to trust handsome guys? Double standards it is.

(btw, the douche bag thing for hayden is the irresponsible storing of the video and cheating, not the attitude in general)
 
I highly doubt that Hayden isn't a nice person. Manyakis, irresponsible, douche-bag for cheating on Dr. Belo, but I HIGHLY doubt players aren't nice (in a way).

If Maricar still didn't have that scandal, and she could choose between a nice-and-ok-looking guy and nice-and-hot-looking guy, why would she choose the former? It's already imprinted in
biology that women always select alpha for babies (genetics), beta for caretakers. (oops)

granted Hayden is alpha compared to Richard (and a better actor too, player kaya? ).


Aside that, I think some women need a taste of heaven and hell so that they come back down to earth. Let them feel the excitement of fire, let them get burned "as necessary" or
whatever it takes for them to learn. In this case, learn how to value a nice, simple,decent guy.

patol ka ng player? o sige go. Heartbroken kana? ouch talaga? o sige, you've learned your lesson, go choose a non-player.

And for the nice guys, sorry. Girls (even I, included.. sometimes) get attracted to players and a-holes, not because they're players or a-holes. They've got other things like LOOKS,
charisma, intelligence, magaling mambobola, riches, whatever.

But ashamed to say, I hate the "general" breed of most girls nowadays. ugh (non-sexist, hate equally )

----to be back on topic---
if I was a guy, her sexual history matters to me. especially for HIV and lifetime diseases. Or if nasa sex industry siya.

[sacred cow]

^yup, I agree with everything you said that's why to say that Richard P. represents what a real man should be
like is to say that guys should be beta and be willing to accept a girl despite her past because of love, this is obviously
a woman's ploy/plea so that guys would still want them even if they already get ransacked by the whole basketball team. siyempre given a choice din, guys would prefer a girl less tainted by her past...I'm not saying all guys want a virgin, but I do know that most self respecting guys wouldn't want to marry a girl na sira na ang image/reputation except if she's really really really HOT then we would
be able to forgive/understand our fellow guy...hahaha

[Girltalker2]

Makikisabat lang ha... I cannot comment sa case ni Maricar.  I still believe na nasa tao iyan if he/she will accept their partner as she/he is.

I think the most important thing naman kasi is for one to be discerning.  Iyan ang ituro ninyo sa next generation kung may partners na kayo.  Be discerning on who you want to be with.  Gaya ni Maricar, the scandal could not have happened if she is just more discerning na Hayden should not be a guy na pinapatulan mo.  You should have your own standards and make sure anyone you want to be intimate with has the potential to be a life long partner, who is serious enough, at marami pang check kelangan gawin before you engage in such intimacy.  One really has to be careful, not only for women but also for men.  Otherwise, nasa huli lagi ang pagsisisi.

As for men, you would not want to flaunt a wife na naging pokpok na ng bayan. That's common sense.

[III]

tagal na pla ng thread na to pero interesting.

ang sagot ko if na inlove ako sa gurl and she confess all saken bago pa ang kasalan, ok lang saken lalo kong mahal ko sya e.
pero if she confess it after ilang dekada na after ng kasalan, haisssst, sorry na lang kahit kaseng ganda ka pa ni angel locsin.

kung mangyayari saken to sa toto0ng buhay, maghahanap na lang ako ng gurl na walang past, good luck saken.

[inluvewithmikewesten]

Makikisali...kuwento ng isang friend ko who'd been with numerous men...the 2 ex BFs who were bothered (and bitter) about her sexual past were the least experienced in sex daw. But the exes who had their fair share  were the ones that were so cool about it.

While another friend who was also promiscuous is getting married soon and the future hubby is aware of her past. Si friend nakauna kay guy. This guy loves her so much that he accepted her and is now going to marry her. So basta siguro mahal ka talaga ng guy, it doesn't matter.

And my friend said, if ever dumating yong time na sumbatan siya ng future hubby about her sexual past, iiwanan niya. Because nagbago na siya since they started dating, and past is past. And kaya sinabi niya na lahat before their marriage. She said her past doesn't make her a bad person. Malandi nga lang daw talaga siya dati 

[III]

kodus sa mga gurls na honest before marraige, i think bibihira yan...

[inluvewithmikewesten]

Korek. Most girls itatago yong ganyan kasi takot ma judge and masumbatan ng partners nila.
But it's really unfair because pag lalaki okay lang, dagdag pa sa pogi/macho points.

[inluvewithmikewesten]

Korek. Most girls itatago yong ganyan kasi takot ma judge and masumbatan ng partners nila.
But it's really unfair because pag lalaki okay lang, dagdag pa sa pogi/macho points.

[purple.strawberry]

Ang masasabi ko lang, sexist pag ginawang issue yung sexual history ng girl, when it's normal for men to do it. Men and women both have needs, it's high time we all recognize that. If I ever meet a guy na di matanggap yung ganun, mabababawan ako sa kanya.

Ang importante is that you both love each other, and there's trust and commitment in your relationship.

Pero siyempre this thread pala is for guys' opinion hehe. :p

[graZiousa]

Past is past na sana.. Sabagay sa bansa tulad dito sa atin e kahit marami ng modernisasyon ang nangyayarin andun pa rin yong pagiging conservative (kahit papano). Pero to be bother? Parang hindi na rin dapat kasi kung ano man nakaraan, nakaraan na. Siguro dapat maging honest lang din ang girl to let the guy know sa nakaraan nya para walang false expectation (yon lang kung hindi the girl is brave enough kung ano magiging reaksyon ng guy after she confess diba) I STRONGLY BELIEVE OF ACCEPTANCE.

[Girltalker2]

^ and ^^ I have opposing views.  Kahit paano ko kasi isipin, importante parin sakin ang past. And this is true for women and men both alike. 

Importante sakin ang past kasi what if nagkaron na sya ng partner na may AIDS, ok lang din sa inyo kasi kelangan ninyo sya i-accept at mahalin? 

Importante sakin ang past, unless iprove nya sakin na nagbago na sya at hindi na sya mapusok ngayon (which will be very hard because it is a case of guilty until proven innocent).  Promiscuity tells something about a person - about his/her approach to life and decision making.  Puedeng hindi pa sya seryoso sa buhay, and bahala na.  I would not want to sleep with someone na hindi seryoso sa buhay at bahala na.  Kaya somehow I look at the person's past, because it gives me a sense of his/her personality, kung jive kami o hindi. If yung pag-uugali nyang ganun is something I can accept or not.  And being promiscuous is something I cannot accept. 

Isa pa, if you are a respected person, you would also want to be with someone na respectable, na hindi ka mahihiya kung kasama mo sya at kung nameet kayong "past" nya.

[purple.strawberry]

^Ibang usapan naman kasi na yun pag may sakit na.

Anyway, kanya-kanya naman tayo dito. Actually this is one of the topics that can go on forever haha. Some people are more conservative, okay. Some people are just honest about themselves and know how to enjoy physical intimacy, okay din. At the end of the day it's up to you if you're going to let the sexual history of a person get in the way of a successful relationship. Know what you value the most in your relationship na lang siguro.

[MrGuytalker]

Past is past. Either you accept or not before you get married. Once a decision is made, time to move on.

[graZiousa]

Past is past. Either you accept or not before you get married. Once a decision is made, time to move on.

yes tama..

[superjuzh]

Kailan lang naisip ko ang tungkol dito. Parang ganito lang yan:

1. Kung sobrang conservative si lalake hindi niya matatanggap ang ganyan kaya matuturn off siya.
2. Kung may pagkamanyak si lalake, seryoso man siya o hindi sayo sa una pa lang magtetake advantage siya sayo.
3. Huli at pinakabihira, kung open minded si lalake at mahal ka talaga niya matatanggap niya yun at irerespeto ka pa rin niya.

Ayon sa pagbabackread ko napakaimmature ng sinabi ko pero may tinanong akong guy friend halos ganyan lang din ang sinabi niya.

[KittiEKittiE]

Don't ask if you don't want to know the answer. Most probably, mahihirapan ka lang tanggapin kapag ganun. For me, importante pa rin ang honesty/transparency sa isang relationship. Kung hindi matanggap ng guy then it's not my problem anymore. It only means na hindi sya ang para sa akin. A relationship cannot be based on sex alone.