Friends are getting married one by one and I don't even have a BF

[lady_butterfly]

Nakarelate naman ako sa topic na ito. My family and friends wanted me to get married na, eh pano mangyayari yun wala nga akong bf.

[dca201]

Nakarelate naman ako sa topic na ito. My family and friends wanted me to get married na, eh pano mangyayari yun wala nga akong bf.

OT: Find one.

[01SummerLove22]

~i love your advice sis especially the last part delete and block those people hahaha... one of the reasons also kaya ako nag register sa FN and GT is to discover things... im making the most out of my single blessedness... im looking forward to meet a lot of new friends here... to my fellow single ladies lets prepare and prettify para mag nameet na natin ang guy na prinepare satin ni God, we'll surelly knock them off their feet hehe... live life and love God! di pa lang siguro tapos si God sa pagsusulat ng kanya kanya nating love story... dont worry too much mga sissies lets stay beautiful inside and out... ♥

Post modified. Please refrain from quoting long posts. Use the @ or ^ sign instead.

[janix athena]

^Sana nga ganun lang kadali yun bro. Hehe. Kung pwede nga lang mag-order ng bf.

Kidding aside, sa mga single ladies na gusto na magka-relationship, it is definitely possible but first we have to take a long, hard look at what we could be doing wrong, which might be driving men away.

Madalas hindi talaga aksidente na single tayo. Tayo rin karaniwan ang may kagagawan.

[geekybride]

.... but then I never realized that you really don't have to depend on a guy for the reason of your happiness. They are one source of it, but it doesn't mean without them you are a wreck. You can really be happy on your own. Having someone to share with is a bonus.

In agree with the above posts, the culture in our country is indirectly implying that having a husband is a goal.

can i just say... sis ettevyvi, this statement rocks!

[dumpee.o13]

I'm experiencing the same situation. But then, I'm not pressured. I'm only 25 and I don't want to rush things. I know it will come eventually at the right time, with the right person, for the best reason. =) Sometimes, yung way ng thinking naten is parang naiinggit tayo sa mga friends nating may family na or those na nag-asawa nang maaga. Ang di natin naiisip is meron ding naiinggit satin cos we're single and we can do whatever we want, we can enjoy life to the fullest kasi di natin minadali ang mga bagay-bagay sa buhay.

[Girltalker2]

^Sana nga ganun lang kadali yun bro. Hehe. Kung pwede nga lang mag-order ng bf.

Kidding aside, sa mga single ladies na gusto na magka-relationship, it is definitely possible but first we have to take a long, hard look at what we could be doing wrong, which might be driving men away.

Madalas hindi talaga aksidente na single tayo. Tayo rin karaniwan ang may kagagawan.

I would think mahirap talaga maghanap.  Sabi ko nga sa sarili ko, I have accepted the fact that I will grow old alone.  If someone comes along, then good.  Pero ayaw ko umasa.

Bakit mahirap maghanap? Heto some of the reasons -

1.  sa world population, mas konti na nga ang mga lalaki.  I just realized that this dynamic is to change soon but not during our generation. sa susunod na generation - in 10 years time, yung mga nasa 20s nila. Mas marami kasi gusto lalaki na anak during year 2000 or so. I have yet to see how this evolves.

2. dumadami narin ang mga bading.

3. kapag pumatak ng 30s, chances are the guys are not single anymore. Kung single, may problema sya.

4. once you find an eligible bachelor, minsan wala namang chemistry. minsan hindi naman compatible. moreso, minsan hindi swak sa requirements mo.

Ang hirap! Pero again, this does not mean na babaan natin ang standards natin. I would rather be alone kesa mamoblema sa lalaki nang habambuhay!

Kaya once you find the right one, make sure you don't take him for granted.

[janix athena]

^Very true. You've said it all sis.

[mk_23]

You`re still very young dear... Don`t pressure yourself. The right time and the right person will come. Being single is fun. You still have time to explore and the best thing is you`re only responsible for yourself. My best friend recently got married and just gave birth a few months ago and I`m telling you she looks haggard than ever! Always telling me how tired she is and has no time for herself and friends. I think she`s happy but you know things do change when you`re tied down. Don`t get me wrong, I`m not discouraging you from marriage, family life and all but, while you still can, enjoy things a single girl could. *

[dheive]

hahahhahaha ARAY! pak na pak ang topic na ito! was having the same thoughts few weeks ago.... mixed emotions na nga.... balancing things ... trying to look on the brighter side of the situation..... and contemplating on being single for life (LOL  )
 

[alexandrea]

Ang kapalaran ni Pedro ay hindi kapalaran ni Juan.

Just because everyone else is getting married doesn't mean that you will, too. The earlier you accept that possibility, the better. Less stress on your part, and you get to enjoy life more. It's not the end of the world if you don't ever get married.

[Huntress Krystle]

Hi Yufa. I can relate to what you're feeling. Although I would say that I'm not as affected as you are. 27 y/o na ako but still single (although by choice).

What you're feeling is very normal and common. Lalo na dito sa society natin na madaming mapanghusga. Yung iba, makita lang na wala kapang asawa o anak by your mid 20's e pagtatawanan kana o sasabihan kang tatandang dalaga. Pero on the other hand, madami na din namang open-minded people ngayon. And dumadami na din yung late na nakakapag-settle down. Kahit nga famous celebs, madami na din ang single pa din ngayon kahit asa 30's or 40's na sila. I guess it's because mas nagiging competitive na din ang mga babae ngayon and they don't want to settle down dearly dahil tulad mo, madami pa silang gustong i-pursue.

Wag mo masyado damdamin yung situation mo sis. Madami kang katulad. Basta i-prioritize mo muna yung gusto mo. Kung mas important sayo na gawin muna yung ibang goals mo ahead of getting married, and if that's what would make you happy, go for it. Actually, bata pa naman ang 26 so madami-dami ka pang panahon. Kita mo nga, ang dami ding single parents ngayon na maaga nagpakasal. It doesn't always mean na kapag nakasal ng maaga eh mas maganda. Ang pinaka-importante talaga eh yung "handa ka na." Being ready should overshadow being pressured. 

[fRaNcOisaLabeLLe]

Sis ~yufa~, as you can see you are not the only girl at the age of twenty-six-turning-twenty-seven who is a certified single!  There is no denying that there will really come a time that negative thoughts about staying single when all others are settling down or bearing a child will be barging into your mind. I know as I have been there.

I am the eldest in my family and I am the only one left single. Funny is I usually organize events like bridal showers, weddings, baby showers and the like. Thus there are always chances of relatives and friends asking me "When" and sometimes "Why?" Whenever I feel myself walking down that road to loneliness because I am single and only the "organizer/bridesmaid-but-never-the-bride" I tell myself I am lucky as I have this creativity and when my time comes I can make such a fab event too! I think it all boils down to making yourself busy indeed- like all our fellow Gtalkers said.

Cliche as it may seem; happiness does come from within and not from someone beside you to hold hands with. Last May I was blessed to have attended a Young Adults Camp and it was discussed that at such stage of life (Young adulthood) we are indeed faced with life's major decisions - getting married is one.

One take home that I will never forget from that camp was when the speaker said "BE THE ONE - While you pray and wait for The One, Be the kind of person anyone would want to marry. Develop the qualities of a man any woman would love, or the qualities of a woman any man would love."  From that moment on, I fully realized that it wasn't a disaster that I broke up with my ex and is far from marrying this year as we planned. I am yet to dig down deeper into myself and bloom to the fullest that I can so that in His time my waiting will be over as He will let the right man FIND me.

Cheers, girls!

[empress]

Sharing one of the posts of one of our sisses here in GT:

A Message from God:

No man can ever claim you unless he claims you from Me.
I reserved a man for you who has My Heart and loves Me more than he will love you.
Soon you will know him.
I have the perfect time.
You're My princess, My daughter.
Let no prince claim you unless he asks you from My hand.
For I am your Father, the King of Kings.
You, My princess, are worth loving and deserves a prince.

very inspiring! thanks for sharing

[junetwentythree]

Maybe it's because I've grown up and lived in the U.S. for so long, but it is absolutely not uncommon for women to have foregone marriage in place of having successful careers and independence. I'm 35. Yes. Thirty-Five and single. ATROCIOUS to some, but frankly I don't give a damn. I live on my own, in NYC and have a wonderful career, family and friends who even though have gotten married one by one, have never failed to be by my side when I needed them. Granted there are some downsides to being single, but man do the upsides outweigh them. I am a strong, confident woman who can things on her own, embraces her aloneness rather than deny it and believe me, that is something men can, will and does respect (and find very attractive, by the way).

3. kapag pumatak ng 30s, chances are the guys are not single anymore. Kung single, may problema sya.

Strongly disagree. Maybe this is true for the Philippines, but not necessarily everywhere else. There's many men, who has shared the same woes of having not found "the one." Many men in their 30s who are single typically have really great established careers and are ready to give women the stability that they look for. There's absolutely nothing wrong with them, they have just been with the wrong women

[michelleperez24]

i'm also on the same case, majority of my girl friends are now married and have kids. Ako na lang yata natira na single pa, although i'm dating someone exclusively at this time so i assume im so far to get married. Sometimes i feel pressured usually by relatives. Good thing i'm working abroad so less interaction with them. I'm just enjoying my single life and as what they say now 40 is the new 30, so nasa early 20's pa ako. hehe. It's okay to be single than to be miserable at hinde naman madali magpalaki din ng anak. I know our time will come, just enjoy what we have now.

same feelings, lahat ng friends ko happily married na ako im still looking for a right guy for me, i'm in love right now pero im not sure if the feeling is mutual.

pero i believe,hindi hinahanap ang love,kusa itong dumarating.

[sixteen16]

wag mawalan ng pag-asa.. may friend akong 28 yrs old pero till now wala pa ring bf. she's pretty naman, sexy.. d ko alam bakit walang bf. nagkakabf naman sya pero iniiwanan sya. depressed na nga bakit daw ganon.. sabi ko na lang wag mawalan ng pag-asa. hindi pa dumadating si right guy.

[bear_touch]

Hmm I have a girl friend na ganito ang situation. Grabe, may itsura siya, mabait at may maayos na work. Pero till now wala pa din bf. 

[Girltalker2]

^ sis, iyan ang exact mentality ng society these days. kaya parang maraming nagiging desperada. why a sad face? shouldn't you be happy and enjoying single life, while you are at it?

[mooncake and leaves]

Seven years ago, my favorite cousin died at the young age of 25, leaving behind a husband and two very small children. When she passed, one of my aunts (who eloped with her useless husband @ 17, I think) said to me, "Well, at least nakapag-asawa siya at nagka-anak. Yun ang importante." It dawned on me then that for my aunt and countless women before her or even some after, consider marriage and babies as the pinnacle of happiness in life. I suppose that has a lot to do with the fact that before, marriage was a woman's ticket to security and freedom from their parents/families.

So I think, instead of feeling annoyed with your relatives who constantly grill you about your lovelife, consider the fact that unlike most of us here, they were not fortunate enough to have grown up and navigated their early adulthood with the idea that they are free to chart their own lives. Chances are, they're also trying to prove to themselves that they're satisfied with how their lives turned out.

It could also be that your relatives are worried that no one's going to take care of you when you get older if you are to remain single and childless. So try to see it from their POV as well because they usually don't really mean to upset you.

Consider also the fact that in several parts of the world, a lot of women don't get to enjoy the liberties we have. So savor this me-time. Travel. Take up a hobby. Be grateful. First because there's a huge chance it's temporary and second, out of respect for those who aren't so lucky.

Marriage is not an inevitability. That's just how random life can be and because of that, there really is not much point in getting all stressed about what you can't completely control.