Friends are getting married one by one and I don't even have a BF

[~yufa~]

Pretty sure I am not the only one who feels weird about this. I'm 26 yo. Pretty much the "marrying age" for a lot of people..And I know as I age, people I know who are stable will probably settle down. Of course, I am happy for my friends but then I of course I just tell them..."Maybe, I am just better off alone anyway..." then I smile. It really sucks that on a normal day, I would be the optimist who would think that I might meet my guy "tomorrow, next week...etc"... But when I start seeing Facebook status "is engaged" or wedding pics of people I know who are my age, I feel sad. The truth is, if I do actually have a boyfriend right now I don't want to get married yet. I want to do a lot of things first. I just want to have that thought that probably let's say when I turn 30, I am already getting married. Why does life how need to be this hard? I know I can't force someone to love me but please tell me people how to deal with this. 

[kaiz]

^based sa observation ko sa iba sis, the more they get worried and the more they think about it, the more na lumalayo yung love. but if you just live life without worrying about those things, hindi mo mamamalayan biglang may bf ka na pala hehe

[tipC_shoegal]

^Tama ka, sis.

~yufa~ Life doesn't have to be hard. I just think you are being a bit too hard on yourself by hounding yourself with those "thoughts". Better do things that you want to do. Achieve what you want to achieve and continue taking care of yourself because HE might still be preparing the man for you. You said that you are an optimist. Why turn the opposite just because of the statuses of your FB friends? Isn't that pressuring yourself?

I've been replying to some threads on being single here on GT and have mentioned on some of those threads that we need not be defined by a partner. You have a full life to live so with that mentioned, it's best to concentrate on yourself first. Love will find its way to you. Someday, somehow. Just keep the faith alive but also, have a contingency - be at peace being single. It shouldn't hurt. It should be fun.

[mommamymy!]

sis ~yufa~, don't be too hard on yourself. sabi mo nga, if you have a BF right now, you wouldn't want to get married yet because you still have a lot of things to do. rushing into something as big as marriage when you're not prepared is like going to battle without a suit of armor to protect you.
 
i think na-pressure ka lang bigla because people your age are getting married. don't be. do whatever you want to do first while you're still single kasi eventually, you will find someone deserving to be your husband and ang masasabi mo na lang, thank goodness nag-antay ako.

[tipC_shoegal]

^Tama ka jan, mommamymy!. I also feel that she does feel the pressure because of the onset of her friends marrying/getting engaged. It still is best to enjoy singlehood before rushing into marriage. Find a good man muna, sis ~yufa~. Better to really wait. Marriage isn't a joke. We all know that it's a lifetime commitment and is no easy disposition so just chill and have fun for the meantime!

[Girltalker2]

sis yufa, admittedly, sometimes madali sabihin, mahirap gawin.  pero once magawa mong hindi maging affected, sobrang liberating at no worries talaga. it is for you and your life. kung lagi kang malungkot, tendency, guys hate that.  or kung nagmamadali kang magka-bf, you might be scaring some guys away agad. 

kaya be happy, TRY not to think about those things at darating yan.

comment lang, sa Philippine setting kasi, for some reason, ang hirap not to think of these things eh.  I don't know why. Pag wala ako sa Pinas, I do not think of these things.  Pag nasa Pinas ka, is it because of close family ties?  at walang mapag usapan mga tao kundi lovelife? 

[~yufa~]

comment lang, sa Philippine setting kasi, for some reason, ang hirap not to think of these things eh.  I don't know why. Pag wala ako sa Pinas, I do not think of these things.  Pag nasa Pinas ka, is it because of close family ties?  at walang mapag usapan mga tao kundi lovelife? 

thanks mga sis. nakaka-pressure talaga na feeling ko aabot ako sa point na I'd accept any guy who would make a move on me. I am even planning on moving abroad just so I can avoid people asking me why I don't even have a bf yet. Lalo na pag reunion some of my aunts would say "Si (Insert cousin's name here) kakasal na next year...ikaw ba may bf na"...diba? Sometimes I just want to leave that place right there and then.

[Girltalker2]

^ sis, I know the feeling.  Esp kung very conservative pa ang environment mo. I am now not in Pinas, and it is liberating. Parang feeling ko mas hindi ako "defined" dito. Unlike sa Pinas, kelangan mayron akong asawa at anak to be able to "live". hayz. 

[gab54]

if it's any consolation, my bff had her 1st boyfriend when she was 39, and  got married at age 40.   

[Girltalker2]

One other thing,  it does not mean na once kinasal ka, mas magiging happy ka.  konti lang marriages ang masaya. minsan mas miserable pa nga ang iba.

[blackgreen]

I feel this too whenever I check FB, kaya ngayun, iwas FB ako. Kaliwa't kanan nagpapakasal, binyag, baby shower, engagement, etc. Lagi ko na lang sinasabi sa sarili ko, hindi naman ibig sabihin kinasal ka happy ever after na. I know some couples, who married at an early age, wishing they did not rush things.

Kaya dapat sis ~yufa~ enjoy na lang natin pagiging single. I'm also 26, turning 27 in a few months. Pero keber lang. Don't mind them. Focus all your energy to those things that give you happiness. Own a pet. Start a new hobby.

I know it's easier said than done but in time you will realize na hindi kasal ang magpapasaya sa atin. Cheer up girl! Ituloy na kaya natin ang singles meet-up. Hehe.. (Ay tipid mode pala ako.) Hihi

[annesky]

I feel the same. I always asks myself kung anong mali sa akin. in 3 years time I'll be 30 yrs old na and I always feel that I'm running out of time. Feeling ko most of the guys (good guys) my age or older than me are all married or in a relationship na. Honestly everyday I'm becoming more and more paranoid. kahit magkagusto walang nagkakagusto sa akin, ni walang lumalapit... hays! 

[tipC_shoegal]

^Here's my two cents on how you feel, annesky; If you concentrate and further obsess about your situation, you'll never stop the paranoia. I once was in your shoes but eventually, I stopped doing such because it just kept me stuck.

I'm pushing 32 and just celebrated my 1st year anniversary of being newly single (broke up with the recent ex, that's why) yet I'm not really thinking about the fact that I'm running out of time and that I need to marry so I could start a family because of the reality that if it isn't really meant to be (yet), why force it? - that's my belief.

Sis, you're only 27. Why feel like the world is closing down on you just because you're single? It's not bad at all especially when you look at it as freedom/independence and a chance for you to further blossom and achieve things you wouldn't be able to achieve when you get married. Sure, it does feel magical to be with that special someone but keep this in mind: "If you aren't happy single, you won't be happy when taken. Happiness comes from within, not from others or having a partner."

I'm sure the right man for you will come your way. For the meantime, enjoy your status. Be thankful for the many other things that are in your life. Besides, you aren't defined by a man. You define yourself. Work it! 

[~yufa~]

I think one of the pressures I guess is being a woman (or girl? haha) . We are given a "limited time only" to have kids. You know what I mean. It's really scaring me to think that I do not know what's gonna happen to me. Because I am pretty sure after these weddings, kids will come. I just hope marriage and kids are in my future. If not, I would love to be able to go abroad not because of the usual  reason which is to earn money, but rather just to avoid people.

[janix athena]

I would love to be able to go abroad not because of the usual  reason which is to earn money, but rather just to avoid people.

That's sad sis. I see naki-join ka na sa "DISKARTE" thread. I recommend you also read this thread for NBSBs

http://www.femalenetwork.com/girltalk/index.php/topic,252077.msg7018057.html#msg7018057

Lots of good advice there. Good luck sis.

[hazelbrown_eyes27]

Keep busy lang. An Idle mind is a devi'ls workshop. Pag busy kayo hindi niyo yan maiisip kasi  you will be too busy to still think of those things. Prepare meeting the guy for you by looking good, not looking uber desperate and just being carefree and independent. With that in mind, you will look young,attractive and before you know it, you will attract the right person for you. The more you look for love, the more elusive it will be for you to get. The more OLDER you will look.

To keep me busy from getting pressured,I go to the gym and take classes, Muay Thai,Iam thinking of which collagen or glutathione that would work best for my skin, what would make my skin glow and translucent and luminous. I play with my dogs, I shop, I work, I auditioned for a reality tv show for kicks! Ang daming pwedeng gawin to keep our minds off those things.

 Ang kinaiinisan ko lang mga taong mas atat pa sa akin.Sila pa ang pressured para sa akin. Let them, sila naman ang tatanda sa pagiging concerned sa akin masyado. But now, DELETE, BLOCK  and set YOURSELF  PERMANENTLY OFFLINE to those who pressure you:)

[tipC_shoegal]

^Great pointers, sis! I couldn't agree more! Life's too short to sulk and be too negative. If you let that negativity na tumambay, wala talagang mangyayari. It's best to be thankful that we aren't hounded by greater problems or say, illnesses. Better maximize your single life muna, ladies before you know it, you're already gray and old! It's lovely to be alive and problem-free.

Let God do the His part in choosing the right guy while you do your job in making yourself better both inside and out for the right guy He's preparing .

[Girltalker2]

Keep busy lang. An Idle mind is a devi'ls workshop. Pag busy kayo hindi niyo yan maiisip kasi  you will be too busy to still think of those things. Prepare meeting the guy for you by looking good, not looking uber desperate and just being carefree and independent. With that in mind, you will look young,attractive and before you know it, you will attract the right person for you. The more you look for love, the more elusive it will be for you to get. The more OLDER you will look.

To keep me busy from getting pressured,I go to the gym and take classes, Muay Thai,Iam thinking of which collagen or glutathione that would work best for my skin, what would make my skin glow and translucent and luminous. I play with my dogs, I shop, I work, I auditioned for a reality tv show for kicks! Ang daming pwedeng gawin to keep our minds off those things.

 Ang kinaiinisan ko lang mga taong mas atat pa sa akin.Sila pa ang pressured para sa akin. Let them, sila naman ang tatanda sa pagiging concerned sa akin masyado. But now, DELETE, BLOCK  and set YOURSELF  PERMANENTLY OFFLINE to those who pressure you:)

another one of my idols here!

Yes!  Keep yourself busy in a positive way! PLZ!  Instead of wallowing on people pressuring you.

I like your last line sis, delete and block! haha  Yung mga married with kids na mababa EQ, I don't mingle with them as well kasi wala na silang bukang bibig how happy their marriages are and how perfect their families are.

[hisana]

Sa akin kasi parang ang risky to get married primarily because of age, and not because you met someone you want to spend the rest of your life with or start a family with. Plus I think 26 is young enough pa naman, sa totoo lang. Kung magcocompare lang din naman tayo sa iba, you'll notice a lot of beautiful, successful, happy people settling down in their 30s pa and mukhang mga wala naman regrets na medyo "late" na raw sila magpakasal. Go out, enjoy, date around! 

Good luck.

[hazelbrown_eyes27]

tipC_shoegal and Girltalker2- Thanks sisters!:)  Happy to help those who feel pressured lang because of relatives and friends. So that they could enjoy life to the fullest without any problems.