Deciding to move on from a failing marriage

[honey-ecclaire]

yes,yun lang din ang maitutulong namin sayo sis,ang ipagpatuloy ang buhay nyong mag-iina...
mourn,iiyak mo ng iiyak...isipin mo ng isipin hanggang sa mapagod ka at tuluyang gustuhin na kayo na lang mag-iina....let him do what he wants to ingat lang na baka one day bumalik sorry sa word ha pero ingat sa sakit...

kaya mo yan,be beautiful,pamper yourself treat mo sarili mo pati mga bata..pasasaan ba at magiging maayos din lahat lalo na ang tatapang ng mga tagapagtanggol mo...

pray hard sis!

[positivity]

salamat sis. tama ka . natatapos naman ang araw at bukas panibago na naman. ang mga anak ko ang dahilan kung bakit buhay pa ako at lumalaban.

[glamorosa_09]

Nag-daan din  sa ganitong sitwasyon ang mother ko, there has been a repeated infidelity on my father's part.

The only difference is, she had a spiritual adviser during the most chaotic and darkest period of her life. Ang parish priest namen, na nagsilbing gabay, liwanag at lakas nuong panahong gulung gulo ang isip nya at hinang hina na sya.

Just like with our two ninangs sa kasal and our pre-cana speaker (nung bago kami ikasal), they were all strongly advised by their spiritual advisers to never leave the house, because of the possibility na dalhin doon ang babae. And as much as possible, hindi ipaalam sa mga bata dahil makakaapekto sa pag-aaral at emosyon nila.

They have different backgrounds, mama is a SAHM, the two of them are career women and the other one a business woman. Fast forward, the families were healed and marriages were restored. They didn't regret the sacrifices at pagtitiis na halos umiyak na sila ng dugo. Yes, they still remember the past, but they are now reaping the harvest of an intact and happy family.

To all who are undergoing this trial, do not try to battle it alone, do not depend on your own strength and understanding. Search for someone, a spiritual adviser na pagkakapitan nyo, na magiging liwanag nyo, na magiging lakas ninyo. That someone should be wise and old enough to guide you in the dark.

To add, a girl friend of my mom told her, "sana nakilala kita noon pa, hindi ko sana hiniwalayan ang asawa ko." Now, she is raising her two kids alone.

[mamichula]

Siguro give your self time to cry just so you can let it out of your system. Tapos after that magpaganda ka na, try to be happy kahit mahirap pilitin mo Go out with your friends. Don't ever give him the pleasure of seeing you miserable without him.Keep yourself busy enroll in a class, try a new hobby or something.  Ipakita mo sa kanya na masaya ka kahit wala sya. Alam mo naman yang mga lalaking yan pag nakita nila na happy ka magtataka sila (kung talagang mahal ka pa maghahabol). Pag medjo okay kana u can start seeing people. Kahit nothing serious hang out with people lang. Para malibang ka.

[maiandra]

Sis ivy, hindi pa rin ba nagpaparamdam hubby mo?

[i_v_y]

Sis ivy, hindi pa rin ba nagpaparamdam hubby mo?

hi sis, sorry ive been MIA. i was so busy with my projects, training my assistant, training sa gym and planning out my thai trip. I am now in manila with my mom kasi i have a digiperm appointment tomorrow (and shoray!) at dadating yung lola ko sa friday from the US.

Last Saturday morning, when i turned my phone's 3g, may nakita akong missed call from hubby at 3:31 at 3:32 am. since off yung 3g ng phone ko, hindi ko nakuha yung call. i accidentally hit call nung chineck ko at i cancelled it. tapos around 12noon nung sat, i saw another missed call sa from him. so i dont know why pero after that naman, wala nang paramdam.

nawala na yung gana ko mag check ng fb nia at iaccess yung fb nia. as in. parang nakakayanan ko na. parang ayoko na nga in fact. hindi ko lang masabi siguro or maamin sa sarili ko. i dont know why.

the challenge now is, i have to get my stuff sa bahay namen. tomorrow ang schedule ko to get it. i dont know if he knows that im in manila. pero sinabi ko sa kanya last month before i left the house that i would be back around this time. sa totoo lang, kung pwede lang hindi ko kunin yung mga gamit ko, ayoko na kunin. i dont have to deal with it anymore. kaso sayang naman yung gamit ko. kasi isang maleta lang ng damit ang nadala ko nung umalis ako.

[rianne_mallows]

^baka pwedeka pasama sa family mo? para may taga bitbit na din

[honey-ecclaire]

ok lang yan sis,for sure kayang-kaya mong malampasan ang pagkikita nyo ni ex mo(tama bang ex ang gamitin hehe)
yes,siguro maliligalig ka for a while but after than malalaman mo if how much you're healed na....

[i_v_y]

kasama ko yung bro sa pagkuha mamaya. right now andito ako sa salon nagapapa digi perm. i have also booked my ticket for thailand today. so much is happening today.

sabi ng friend ko pagdating ko sa house casual [textspeak!] ako. hindi ako wife. kamustahin ko daw [textspeak!] and never talk about what happened in the past.

[honey-ecclaire]

planggana hehe(korek)

be civil,you may ask kung anong ulam hehe kamusta si manag(if nandun pa yung HH nyo)...
bongga,maglaway sya kakapa-digiperm mo pa lang hehe!

Good thing you feel good today..So happy for you!

[i_v_y]

eto ang update.

while i was at the salon, i texted him that my bro and i were coming over to pick up my stuff.

him: sunday na lang kayo punta
me: hindi ko pwede kasi paalis na din ako nun.
him. saturday na lang.
me: hindi rin pwede, as in ngayon lang ako pwede. mga 9 0r 10 pm andyan na kami.
him: baka kasi tulog na ako.
me: pag sa akin ang aga mo matulog ah.
him: maaga pa kasi pasok ko tomorrow.
me: pakibilin na lang kay tita (HH), sandali lang kami, wala naman akong balak magtagal.
him:okay

so pagdating ko sa bahay, the HH was waiting for me, pati si MIL at SIL. chika chika. usap usap. iyakan ng konti. si 'ex" nasa room, tulog na daw sabi ni HH. I did not bother. Kami na lang nagkwentuhan. Si MIL konting iyak. nagpapasalamat at humihingi ng pasensya sa kakulangan ng anak nia.

ayun, buti naman natapos natong chapter nato. sabi ko nga sa kapatid ko "kelan kaya ulet ako makakabalik ng bahay?" (pun intended kasi nga laging layas ang drama ko). sabi ng kapatid ko "ano ka ba, tadtadtad na pangloloko sayo asawa mo, naiisip mo ba bumalik, magising ka nga sa katotohanan." And my brother is only 21 years old.

so i feel liberated. i feel great. i feel just fine... wala na akong urges to check his FB or mag stalk sa kabit nia. wala na as in. i feel happier without him. thank you mga sissies sa lahat ng nag abang ng forumnovela ko. tama nga kayo, once na nakaalis ako sa bahay na yun, gusto ko sabitan ang sarili ko ng medalya.

kapag may update, i will definitely let you know.

One of the happiest moments ever is when you feel the courage to let go of what you can’t change. Refuse to ruin a perfectly good today by thinking about a bad yesterday. The past cannot be changed, forgotten, or erased. However, the lessons learned can prepare you for a brighter tomorrow.

[zee87]

yehey! isang malakas na palakpak para sayo sis i_v_y!

We're so happy for you. Enjoy your trip. Treat mo sa sarili mo yun for the job well done.

[TysLolakins]

i know it's a bitter-sweet moment for you but still, well done!!!
happy to hear that you're moving along with life (cautiously but excited, i hope  . 
it was a painful journey to get where you are now but with tenacity and resilience,  you made it!!!

[stylishmomy]

So glad of your update and progress sis Ivy! Congrats you're one strong and blessed woman.

[i_v_y]

thank you sissies.

[maiandra]

Based on your husband's reaction to your text messages and he didn't even see you off for you (final) visit, you made a good decision to leave. Moving forward na tayo! hehe. Sana magpost din dito ibang mga sis who need help "moving on".

[rics]

^pansin ko nga din yan.
parang no effort whatsoever for him to atleast see his wife. naiinis ako na ganyan siya. but alteast sis ivy was able to see past that and is already moving forward.

[greys03]

sis ivy congrats and goodluck..sana gaya mo maka move on na din ako, sana kasing strong mo ako 

[i_v_y]

mga sis, feeling ko umiiwas sia. ganyan kasi sia, he does not resolve issues or deal with them. iiwasan nia. like yung issue na nagkita sila ng babae nia the day after i left... hanging issue yun that he did not bother to resolve. tapos after that, itetext  nia ako ng parang wala lang. sabi ko deal with the prior issue first tapos hindi na nia ako sasagutin.

so feeling ko ganun. pero okay lang din. it made a lot of difference and he made it a lot easier for me.

sis ivy congrats and goodluck..sana gaya mo maka move on na din ako, sana kasing strong mo ako 

sis thank you. be strong din. i was at the same boat. pero tulad ng lagi kong sinasabi, baka one day magising ka na lang na drained ka na at diyan ka makakakuha ng lakas to leave. when i started this thread, i was devastated, i was lost, i was so hurt... feeling ko hindi na matatapos ang sakit ng nararamdaman ko, feeling ko hindi ako makakapag move on that is why i started the thread to seek support. sis, sa healing lang pupunta din ang lahat. that's nature.

sa ngayon, ayoko munang makiaalam sa plano ni God for my marriage. I know that God has a purpose for all of these... To God be all the Glory.

[janeblaze,project]

to all the  sissies who are having the same probs just like sis ivy , my  prayers are with you  guys , talagang dumadami na ata mga lalake na wala lang paki  sa mga ladies na pinakasalan nila .. it's sad lang that  the sanction of marriage is not being respected.


My friends who had gone thru  divorce had always said that , Karma is a Bee-otch!

Kaya be strong mga sissies !