Deciding to move on from a failing marriage

[i_v_y]

^^ sis salamat, i really needed that.

wala naman sia talagang balak pigilan ako. sinabi na nia sa text kaya daw he tinext nia sa akin yun not to change my mind but just to say what he feels. at meron pa siang nalalaman na bukas ang pinto ng bahay na linya...

[i_v_y]

Dumating si hubby. Ako naman went straight to bed pretending to be asleep.. Nung humiga sia sa bed yuumakap sia akin  and hooked his foot on mine like the usual. I was facing away at naiyak ako. I wanted to break down pero biglang pumasok sa utak ko lahat ng sinabi nio. Then tears just stopped. Eto ngayon  sia naghihilil na like the usual.

[reb_woods072683]

oh no! Sis don't get carried away. Maybe he's drunk? Wag padadala sa emosyon. Aalis ka na mamayang gabi!

[i_v_y]

oh no! Sis don't get carried away. Maybe he's drunk? Wag padadala sa emosyon. Aalis ka na mamayang gabi!

hindi talaga sis kaya bumangon ako. at aalis ako mayamaya para magbreakfast sa flapjacks. hehe.

[stylishmomy]

my god, nakakaiyak talaga ang thread na ito. Hats off talaga ako sa courage mo sis Be happy and be proud of yourself

[i_v_y]

around 3pm, pumasok sa kwarto yung asawa ko, nakita nia ako nakahiga (kasi nag eemote ako),

hubby: halika na lunch na tayo
me: mamaya na, higa ka muna dito.
hubby: (niyakap ako, umiiyak sia) pagkakain naten, pupunta muna ako kina dad. ayaw ko makita ka umalis. iiyak lang ako
me: (iyak din) you understand that i dont want to do this but  i have to,  right?
hubby: oo. may kelangan din akong patunayan sa sarili ko.

ayun, we just spent about 10 minutes of silence and crying.

based sa mga sinsabi nia at we made it clear kung ano ang sitwasyon namen. right now, we are just physically separated.  at sana the space between us, it will make a difference. sia pa nga naghatid sa akin sa terminal.

im now on board, enjoying the wifi in the bus! 

[Msfi]

^goodluck and have a safe journey... on your way to where you're going and in finding what more this life can offer you.

[i_v_y]

^goodluck and have a safe journey... on your way to where you're going and in finding what more this life can offer you.

thank you sis at sa pagdamay. sobrang laking naitulong sa akin ng GT at ng mga taga subaysubay ng forumnovela na etey.

[vangie88]

was reading this thread, sad story, but i know it's for your own good, hopefully maayos niyo parin ng husband mo (kung magbabago na talaga siya) take care sis & keep on praying lang 

[zanabee]

hope everything will be ok sis, sana maging safe ka sa  pupuntahan mo.

[pinkk]

Prayers for strength to those who are hurting. nakakalungkot isipin dumadami ang failing marriage, 22annulments per day and increasing and that is from one article i have read.

[reb_woods072683]

nalungkot naman ako at teary eyed din sa last scene ninyong mag asawa sis. Goodluck on your new life!

[i_v_y]

thank you mga sisters. sana lang matauhan na talaga asawa ko. i love him despite him being him, i know he loves me pero hindi nia lang alam paano ipakita or paano sabihin. kumbaga sa IQ, mababa ang ang EQ nia.

but who knows what the future will bring, baka after 3 months or so, i will come to realize that i am happier without him.

remember that marriages don't fail, it is the people in them who fail.

[che2008]

Be safe sis. 

[i_v_y]

Be safe sis. 

aba aba aba sis, hindi ka lang lurker ngayon ha. hehe. sorry yesterday. nawalan ng signal sa bandang quezon.

[greys03]

hello, i am having a hard time creating a new topic that is why i decided to reply on  this thread.  i am grateful for this site, i learned a lot from this. hi ivy, i read your story and i would like to congratulate u for making the big step forward. To all the GTs, may i call u sis?  thanks for being supportive.

i am a silent reader of this thread, meron ding pinagdadaanan. nagkaron ako ng lakas ng loob na magsulat kase nakita ko na very supportive kayo and that is what i need at this very moment. i hope you'll find time reading this, thanks in advance.

it has been 4 months, that i left my husband. dahil may 3rd party, girl is hindi iba sa amin. family friend.  nawalan ng work c hubby, i helped him financially. we are working things out, i thought wala na cla nung girl.  until i found out na pumupunta pala c girl sa apartment namin ni hubby. now im staying with my parents,  with our 2 kids.

hubby explained that tinigilan na daw nya c girl, c girl daw ang punta ng punta dun sa apartment. ndi ko na alam kung maniniwala pa ako sa knya. ngayon, tinapos ko na ang lahat sa amin ni hubby, pumayag sya na wag na namin ayusin kase wala na ako tiwala sa kanya, but something inside me telling me that this time nagbago na talaga sya
should i give him another chance at bawiin ko ang sinabi ko na tapos na kmi? thanks for your time. 

 

[danne]

I have this feeling na before the year ends, my marriage which does not even reached its first year would come to an end. Been crying over the past days dahil sobrang sakit na. And kahit anong pagsisisi ang gawin ko na pinili ko siya, wala na akong magagawa. Can't really imagine having a partner na parang walang pakialam sa iyo. He doesn't even care if may kainin ka or wala, or kung nalubog ka na ba sa baha or kung buhay ka pa ba. I left home the other day around 5am para pumasok sa work. That morning, walang tigil na talaga ang ulan and I was hesitant na pumasok pa sana kaya lang marami na akong absent lately. Nang umalis ako, tulog pa husband ko. I don't even know if naalala niya nung nagpaalam ako na aalis na ako. Sobrang baha na along the way and took me an hour before makasakay and dahil sobrang traffic I was late for like 1.5 hrs. Basang basa ako when I arrived sa office. And since wala akong dalang money that time except sa pamasahe, hindi ako nakakain the whole day. Naexperience ko lang yung ganito after ko ikasal and sobrang naawa ako sa sarili ko. Ang husband ko ni hindi man lang ako kinumusta kahit sa text if nakarating ba ako ng maayos or kung ano na ba nangyari sa akin. Wala ni kahit ano. He actually asked me nung dumating ako ng gabi if may dala daw ba akong ulam. Parang sasabog ang dibdib ko. Lalo pang sumama ang loob ko sa husband ko kasi since nung umaga, my ex bf was actually calling me if pumasok daw ba ako, kung hindi ba baha sa amin, if ihahatid daw ba ako, kung okay lang ako, and if nakarating na ako. Di ko talaga napigilan umiyak kaya nagulat yung ex ko. Nahiya naman ako magsabi ng situation ko and I think na mali na sa kaniya pa ako maglabas ng sama ng loob. Tapos nagulat na lang ako that night kasi nagtext siya na pinadalhan niya daw ako ng pera sa account ko. Sabi niya magrent nalang daw ako ng apartment malapit sa office ko para di ako laging late at mahirapan sa biyahe kasi lalo daw ako pumayat at kumain daw ako sa oras. Iyak ako ng iyak sa kwarto namin nung nabasa ko yon. Sabi ko na lang babayaran ko siya pag sweldo ko pero sabi niya no need. Tapos last night may nagtext sa akin na doon din nagwowork sa company namin. May sasakyan daw siya and nagservice siya doon sa ibang co employee namin na doon sa area namin nakatira. Sabi niya nadadaanan daw nila yung area ko and pwede akong sumabay doon para diretso ang biyahe ko. Tapos sabi niya, yung ex ko ang kumausap sa kaniya.

Di ko tuloy maiwasan isipin na nagkamali nga ako ng desisyon.

[honey-ecclaire]

pasintabi lang sis IVY ha,like you we have two wives here who found courage to move on or do something in their marriage(sana di pa failing ha)

welcome sis greys03,you're probee po kase kaya you can't start a new post yet.
Kung nagbago na ang mister mo talaga,makikita mo yun,well you said na nagbago na nga this time..give him time to realize his worth,his responsibilities and kung ano ba talaga ang gusto nya or if he even realize na nagkamali sya..if he does...
He will do things to win you back and his family back,he will do to bring back your family the way it should be,he want to and the way na di na nya hahayaang masira ng tuluyan...

Just focus on your kids and yourself,bahala muna hehe!

@danne---grabe naman ang asawa mo,wala ba syang work?..so everytime na papasok ka sa work di man lang sya naggu-goodbye kiss?imulat ang mata para sabihing ingat ka?or even a text?eh jusko!the past two days are very dangerous sa lahat sa atin most especially sa ating mga girls ha,tapos sa asawa mo wala lang?...hiningian ka pa ng ulam?...


Question:how long have you been together before getting married?(though wala sa tagal ng samahan yan ha)
pero sis,don't focus on you ex muna,you're married and may dapat kayong ayusin na mag-asawa...

[maiandra]

sis ivy update us naman, nakaluwas ka ba ng safe? Naku may mga baha pa naman.

hi sis greys03 and danne welcome sa thread na to. Minsan mahirap din mag advise kc depende talaga sa sitwayson.

sis greys, wag mo muna bawiin yung sinabi mo bec u don't want to sound feeble in your decisions. What has your hubby been doing the past 4 months na wala ka? May effort ba?

sis danne, mejo kulang pa ng konting background yung story mo. Don't start comparing your hubby to your ex, bec that will start feelings of discontentment and magkakaroon ng bala ang asawa mo na pede nya gamitin against you. Pano ba kayo dumating sa point na yan? Mag one year pa lang kayo so you have to be a little stronger sis, marami pa kayong bigger struggles na pagdadaanan.

[i_v_y]

hello, i am having a hard time creating a new topic that is why i decided to reply on  this thread.  i am grateful for this site, i learned a lot from this. hi ivy, i read your story and i would like to congratulate u for making the big step forward. To all the GTs, may i call u sis?  thanks for being supportive.

i am a silent reader of this thread, meron ding pinagdadaanan. nagkaron ako ng lakas ng loob na magsulat kase nakita ko na very supportive kayo and that is what i need at this very moment. i hope you'll find time reading this, thanks in advance.

it has been 4 months, that i left my husband. dahil may 3rd party, girl is hindi iba sa amin. family friend.  nawalan ng work c hubby, i helped him financially. we are working things out, i thought wala na cla nung girl.  until i found out na pumupunta pala c girl sa apartment namin ni hubby. now im staying with my parents,  with our 2 kids.

hubby explained that tinigilan na daw nya c girl, c girl daw ang punta ng punta dun sa apartment. ndi ko na alam kung maniniwala pa ako sa knya. ngayon, tinapos ko na ang lahat sa amin ni hubby, pumayag sya na wag na namin ayusin kase wala na ako tiwala sa kanya, but something inside me telling me that this time nagbago na talaga sya
should i give him another chance at bawiin ko ang sinabi ko na tapos na kmi? thanks for your time.

hi sis, yes of course you can call me sis and dont worry this thread is now not just about my story but for wives who are in the same boat.

i think what is important sis before you make a final decision ask yourself kung nagawa mo na ba lahat to save your marriage ( granting you want to save your marriage). You cant just give up without putting a good fight. Sabi nga ni papa jack kanina, "more than half of our journey in this world is all about finding the answers to your questions".  You dont want to just walk away and live your life asking questions na "What if kung ginawa ko eto? Would it have saved my marriage? Would it have changed the situation?" and wonder what the answers could have been. Yan ang unang pumasok sa utak ko noong pinaglalaban ko yung relationship namen. Kahit buong mundo looked at me as shonga at martir but it did not really matter. Only you can tell kung kelan ka bibigay. The people around you, okay lang kung anong sabihin nila kasi sila ang nasa bench watching the movie. These people will keep you sane kasi sila nakakakita ng angulo na hindi mo nakikita but it is still all up to you.

Until dumating yung araw na sabi ko sarili ko na i found my answers, i gave a good fight, ubos na ang chips ko then it was time to stop gambling.

Everytime na mag uusap kami ng asawa ko about the other woman, i would feel na sincere sia sa sinasabi nia na wala na sila, na mababaw lang yung relasyon and all that BS. But every time he tells me that, after a few days may malalaman ako contrasting sa sinabi nia.  Example, before i left the house, i was kinda convinced na wala na talaga sila. But it was just yesterday that i found out, last Sunday magkasama sila sa metrowalk with two other people. It does not suggest na sila na ulet but why would he do such thing? bake makikipagkita pa sia sa supposedly ex  kabit nia? reason nia was pupunta daw sila sa binyagan ng dati nilang officemate at nagpapasabay yung "ex kabit" nia and the other two, nakakahiya naman daw na hindi nia isabay. sabi ko, "sa kanila nahihiya ka sa akin hindi mahihiya por que ba malayo na ako?" while im writing this, naalala ko din na may gana siang magpakita dun sa babaeng yung after ako sinabihan ng babaeng yung na "shonga shona at g@g@".

yung lang.nainis naman ako tuloy.

anyway sis, yung lang masasabi ko. if you separated from him at told him na tapos na kayo, you could have acted based on your emotions. never make decisions when you are upset, hurting or emotionally disturbed. when you make a decision, make sure to have a balance ng reasoning and emotions as well.

good luck sis!