High Needs Baby/toddler

[cldy_1981]

Are any of you ladies familiar with this term and are your babies part of the said 20% who are vategorized as high needs babies? Please share your stories/experiences...

I googled and researched about this because I notices that my baby is extra extra fussy and the "norm" doesnt seem to apply to him. At 6 weeks I can already see he has a strong personaity and extremely demanding. I initially thought it was a growth spirt at 3weeks and bow ar 6 weeks pero i was able to read up on  literature from Dr. Sears : http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/fussy-baby/high-need-baby/12-features-high-need-baby and was able to actually tick off the list he mentioned that characterizes a high need baby.

Now i love my son very very much but most of the time it gets to be too much especially when he cries non-stop even after he's been fed, changed, made comfy and burped... Curious tonlearn about other moms who have experienced this or are experiencing this? And maybe you can also all share your tips on coping & surviving. Minsan feeling ko masisoraan nako ng bait sa baby ko, hehe

[khriseeee]

I read the link and some of the items apply to my baby but I don't think she's a high need baby (well not yet!). though sometimes its depends on her mood, there are just some days where nothing pleases her except being constantly carried. How is your baby extremely demanding?

[iristacey]

sis i already read about that. akala ko din ganyan c baby but when my mom came and sya na nagaalaga kay baby while om at worl, ang bait na. hahaha. aligaga kapag ako may hawak sa kanya. nagsisisi nga ako na nagpa epidural ako eh. baka sa narcotics etc. nabasa ko dun sa isang research. at sana nabasa ko yun bago ako,manganak. wala na magagawa. sa next baby na lang.

[cldy_1981]

khrisee: everything in the list actially describes my son to a tee, except for the one that says that the baby refuses the substitute caregiver. I think my baby is demanding because he is such a crier, extra extra fussy whether were breastfeeding and he just cant be put down.

What's weird though is he's only like that with me or my husband at times. You see i take care of him full tume right now since i got rid of the yaya & i employ the help of our hh to lookafter him leyscsay when i need to take a bath or if i need an hour or 2 to rest. So he cries & refuses to sleep/ be put down when he's with me but when i hand him off to the hh he dozes off within a few mins & stays asleep then when i get him again, he cries na naman.

Sometimes i think, omg does my baby hate me? Then yun nga when i read dr sear's literature parang his behavior suddenly had some sort of explanation.

Im still hoping this is just a phase though, people have been saying that it gets easier agter the 2nd -3rd month... Is that really true?

Sis iristacey medyo ganyan din baby ko, mas extra demanding or needy sya with me as compared tomlets say if i give him to my mom or the help... Bakit ganon kaya?

[iristacey]

hahaha. ako sa akin lang extra demanding si baby. angelito sa mama ko. ngayon, ginagaya ko style ni mama na simpleng hunger cue, offer breast agad. effective pampatulog. kaninang umaga nga pagkadede, arte nanaman. para di ako mapraning, binigay ko
muna kay mama para kumaen ako. pagkabalik sa alin kalmado na. konting hele, tulog na. minsan ayaw pala ni baby na karga, higa lang na tapik tapik at hug ang gusto. i can totally relate sayo. dumaan ako sa point na feeling ko ayaw ata sa akin ni baby, baka nagsasawa sa akin. pansin ko alam nya na kapag natataranta ka, mas lalo sya mag arte. treat nalang daw natin as lambing ni baby yun. ganito din daw kapatid kong pebrero din bday. pati yung 1 pamangkin ko na pebrero din. hahaha. dumaan pa nga na naiyak na ako kasi di ko mapatahan si baby. may mga ganung moments pa din kame. yung mga tao sa paligid dami na suggestion. basta pag antok si baby na di makuha tulog, patay na. iyakan blues na. nagburp na, walang poops, etc. minsan pati temp, factor din. ayaw mainit.
i read somewhere na white noise is effective sa kanila. sa amin, soothing sa baby ko yung jazz and classical music. mas okay tulog niya pag may ganun sa background.

[strauss]

Ganyan din dati baby ko, sobrang nakakapagod. Iyak hg iyak, tapos napakademanding, kala ko nga forever na syang ganun. Hindi pa nga ) mailabas kasi napakaiyakin. Pero unti unti nagbago sya, mas naging kalmado na by 3 months and pag lumalabas kami tahinik na, sobra sigurong naaaliw sa paligid. By 4 months okay na, mas madali ng alagaan.
Antayin nyo lang mga sis magbabago din mga babies ninyo. =)

[cldy_1981]

^sis my son is now 7 weeks, sana talaga magdilang anghel ka & by the 3rd month his being demanding & always throwing tantrums will ease up kasi now ma naka-ML ako sabay kaming umiiyak ng anak ko. Sya kasi nagtatantrums alo naman kasi pagod na & at my wits end trying to find ways to comfort him.

My gosh... Ang hirap ah!

[iristacey]

^ganyan na ganyan talaga ako sis dati. natatawa nga kapatid ko sa akin. as in nakikiusap na ako sa anak ko na tahan na, etc. hahaha. ngayon it got lesser na din kasi. when he stepped 8weeks, it was getting easier. he's just going 10weeks though. i hope it gets better as each day pass.

[geekchiq]

I just read the article and it seems my baby is also a high need baby.

sis iristacey- can relate to everything you've said. once I cried in front of my MIL because I can't pacify my baby but when she's being held na by her grandma, good girl na siya. even my mom is also good in soothing my baby. parang ayaw niya talaga sa karga ko. pero ayun nga it gets better naman, now mas madali ko na siyang napapatahan, ayun lang kelangan mong ipafeel na love na love mo siya (so with matching hug tight and kisses yun).

[cldy_1981]

^sis has it gotten better now? How old is your baby?

Grabe can i just share... Na sad ako na naman and frustrated. My new yaya started today, so far mukhang ok naman. She's stay out. So anyway i left my son with her kanina bec husband & I had to fix stuff for my son's baptism tapos i also went to the mall for sime me time. We opted to leave our baby with her para test kumbaga how she can handle my kid plus short period of time lang naman.

To cut the long story short, i was out from 11am to 4pm and when i came home baby was sleeping soundly. I also asked husband who went home ahead of me if umiiyak ba & hinahanap ako, sabi nya no daw just cried once or twice kasi gutom and after being fed, ok na daw. Super na miss ko baby ko so i got him agad from the yaya para bonding kami. OMG!!! Wala pang 5mins as in nonexageration iyak na sya ng iyak and nagta-tantrums na!!! As in i was carrying him & he was flailing around!

Nalulungkot ako feeling di ako gusto ng son ko! Shucks! And fristrated ako na dinko sya mapatahannor ma-comfort. Is this normal?

[nikkiz.]

^same with my DD before, pag ako kumarga iyak talaga to the point na pati ako niiyak na din.  She's 6 and a half months now and so far much better than the first few months.

My baby still wakes up 2-3 times a night when she shld be sleeping thru the night already.  She still feeds when she wakes up then sleeps or play even when we keep the room dark.  Kawawa si hubby when it's his turn to take care of her for the night bec. puyat talaga and then he has to go to work.  I do feel drained taking care of her esp. when she doesn't like to be put down.  I couldn't do other chores moat esp. pumping breastmilk.  Lagi sira sked ko to pump since baby refuses to latch on since the beginning.   Now that she's standing and wallks around the crib or crawls, I have a hard time watching out for her and pump at the same time bec. she tries to get the pump or she might fall off the crib or bed.  Super stressful so now my milk supply is low.

We just take it one day at a time though, but it's hard.  Totally opposite my 1st born whom I had an easy time caring for.

[khriseeee]

My pedia old me one babies are like that, parang they give the mom a harder time, thy know moms will have more patience. This is based on her personal experience with one of her babies. She's a pedia and could nt console her baby, but onc he handed off her baby to the aya, the baby calmed down. Could also be that the baby associates your scent with feeding, and if he's not ready to feed he might be frustrated. My baby was that way in her early weeks (though not a high needs baby) and I got so sad every time she'd calm down when the yaya got her now. Hang in there sis, he'll grow out of it. Does he cry when ou talk to him or lay him near/next to you in bed?

[cldy_1981]

^yes sis as in when he's in one of his moods there's nothing i can do to make him stop fussing/complaining or crying. Like yesterday afternoon, he was changed na, naka aircon na, fed na 2 in a span of 3 hrs but everytime we put him down beside us sa bed or sa crib he'd wake up crying so carry ulit or feed. Pero nag mo-moan parin sya na parang nag-co-complain. Or sometimes naman 3 hrs na ayaw nya pa pakawalan nipple ko, comfort suck/deed lang sya. The problem is we dint do side lying pa na position since di nya makuha yung latch so im sitting sa bed na sonrang ngawit na yung arms & back ko so the pagod also adds up to my frustration.

My mom also says na pag nabinyaganndaw mas babait na and ka-kalma na daw son ko... Hahaha! Sana nga! Kasi 2 weeks nalang bibinyagan na sya :p dunno though if totoo sinasabi ng mom ko hehe

[nikkiz.]

^ha ha,hindi totoo kasi DD ganun pa din after mabinyagan, LOL!

hay naku, gising ng 1:30 am baby ko, nag milk then natulog mga 2 am then umiyak again so dede ulit then nkatulog mga 2:30.  I had to pump milk mga 3 am then nung matulog na sana ako before 4am, gising na ulit sya, crying, dede ulit.  8 am na, ngayon lang natulog ulit.  I'm soooo sleepy!

Mukang bibigyan na namin ng formula milk ito tonight for the first time so we can all sleep.  Mga anak ng friends and relatives namin ni hubby na same age ng baby namin (around 6 months) lahat daw straight thru the night matulog and all of them are on formula.  Maybe they are not "high need" babies but we are so sleep deprived na.  Can't sleep sa daytime coz gusto nya karga sya or gusto mag-ikot sa house and not just stay put in the crib or iiyak. 

[jess_121009]

whewww!!! akala ko ako lang ang nakakaranas ng ganito. since birth my baby is like this. he cries a lot, very very fussy and kagaya ni sis cldy_1981 i noticed that my baby has very strong personality. weeks old pa lang siya he knows na what he wants. kapag ayaw niya ang isang bagay either hihilahin niya buhok ng kumakarga sa kanya or mangungurot. we also thought then na kapag bininyagan siya magbabago na (at 1 month pinabinyagan na namin siya ha para lang dito.. lol..)at tama si sis nikkiz hindi rin.

now he's approaching 5 mos medyo nagbago na ng konti pero may mga times na talagang kapag ayaw niya, ayaw niya talaga. just 2 days ago we have to drive him at 1am para magikot-ikot lang since ayaw niya talaga tumahan. he slept at 5am dahil sa pagod kakaiyak though bumawi the next day dahil sobrang bait naman.. paminsan hindi ko din alam talaga gagawin at totoo nakakabaliw.

i also hope that in the next few months totally magbago na siya or siguro we just have to accept that our babies were born very special that needs our patience, love and comfort. good luck sa ating mga mommies!

[cldy_1981]

^jess_121009: hi there fellow mommy of a high needs baby, hehe! it provides some sort of comfort to know you're not alone diba chaka in a way we can share tips & tricks to try to calm the baby. What did you notice na significant change sa behavior ng baby mo? What improved as he got older?

pero grabe... i also thought I was the only one experiencing this that's why I researched then found Dr. Sear's literature and in Baby Center and other baby/mom forums sa ibang countries meron talagang specific discussion for high need babies.

Some I've read say it gets better as they get older, the lucky ones say na pag-2 or 3 months daw the sleeping patterns change and parents get to have longer sleep sa night, babies fuss less and they also cry less too pero pag High Needs Baby mas matagal parang things ease up daw when they're more mobile like when they can crawl, walk and talk na... Goodluck naman sakin diba?

Yun pa one more thing that bothers me is that when he feeds and tapos na yung inital fast flow ng milk, he gets impatient and complains A LOT. He moans na and groans and tinatanggal na yung nipple sa mouth tapos pag sobrang frustrated na he starts bawling... Is this normal behavior or again unique na naman sa son ko? Haha.

[iristacey]

^ganyan din son ko. yun nga lang, mga 5-10mins lang siya magnurse. overactive letdown kasi, kaya naiinis si baby..

[jess_121009]

hi sis cldy_1981: actually may significant changes naman like less crying moments maybe because we can play with him na at marami na siyang nakikita. sa sleeping, hindi pa masyado. up to know puyat pa rin kami kasi he can be awaked straight 10 hrs with power naps lang (5-10 mins). minsan pa nga kahit anong karga, milk, more comfortable sleeping environment (nagpaaircon pa kami ng wala sa oras para lang sa kanya.. lol) kaya paminsan nakakastress talaga, working mom pa naman ako. 

on feeding same lang din tayo. bottlefed si baby. as early as weeks old you can hear him moans and groans na para talaga siyang galit habang nagfefeed. sabi nga ng mga kamag-anak ko bakit daw ganun baby ko.. ang alam daw nila kapag ilang weeks pa lang ang baby wala pang alam sa nararamdam, parang more on dependent kung ano ang ibigay. you know what, in a month alam na niya kung matagal na ang gatas na tinimpla sa kanya. as in hindi niya yun iinumin hangat hindi palitan.. kahit sobrang dami pa.. kaya sobra kaming aksayado sa gatas noon. sabi nga ng mom ko, yung anak ng bro ko nung baby napapainom pa daw ng panis (lol) walang reklamo kapag gabi samantalang siya alam niya kung luma na.

pareho lang tayo sis.. nagsearch din ako agad nung mafeel ko bakit ganito si baby and yun nga at least i know na hindi ako nagiisa. lalo na dito sa gt dahil at least we can share nga thoughts and ideas on how we can get away with it.. (sana nga we can diba) ilang beses na niya ko napaiyak dahil dito!

don't worry sis, i can assure you it will get better.. though hindi kagaya ng sa mga ibang babies na mabilis.. sa atin siguro kailangan ng sobrang patience dahil mangyayari ito little by little. minsan tuloy binubulungan ko yung baby ko sabi ko " laki ka na pls" hahaha! 

[cldy_1981]

^sis my son naman is breastfed, kaya sobrang bothere ako pag nangtatantrums sya while feedingciz lagi ko naiisip may nakukuha pa ba syang milk from me? Bakit kaya di nakukuntento as in sari-saring thoughts. And pareho tayo i also whisper to myson, ang sinasabi ko naman maging good boy na sta and wag ng iyak ng itak and not togive mommy a hard time na. Hahahaha. Eh mukhang di pa gumagana.

His fussy behavior is eapecially worse when nasasanayan nung growth spirt. Omg nung 3rd week and 5th week growth spurt nya pagod na pagod ako atbiyak ako ng iyak kasi he was being extra difficult. Tipong every 10-20 mins gigising then iiyak ng sobra na di mo mapatahan.

But yes i noticed too that alog with being high needs my baby seems smarter than the average kid. Parang mas aware sya sa nangyayari around him and di monpwedeng lokohin, hahaha! He seems very intuitive also... Sana lang maging better yun mood nya soon.

[khriseeee]

My baby also moans and grunts (and eventually shrieks) when she's feeding. I can't figure it out, my pedia said her gums are thickening and it's early teething (at 2 months old!). What do you guys do? Let your baby cry it out or stop feeding? It's so hard talaga, each feeding is a battle. I get so weary na one time I didn't wake her at night anymore for a feed. Is that ok kaya?