Guys who initiate the break up

[ButHonestly]

i'm also concerned in this statement.. i believe, those guys who are like that are simply those that treat dating as a game, a display of pride perhaps?
imho, dating without considering marriage as the end point is quite a waste.. i wouldn't want to spend my limited time, money, energy, etc, on something that wouldn't last... (sorry, OT)

anyway, i have no idea about the thread topic, i've never initiated/wanted a breakup..  although we're still in our 5th year, but reading chrisann's post about their breakup on their 7th, i guess i really should always be on guard.

Its not really about how the guy treats the relationship. If its a game or not. Or if its a pompous display of his pride. It all boils down to how he's been reared: People and environment involved in his growing up. And you really cannot put the blame solely on the person. Relationships are supposed to be dynamic. Its supposed to be an on-going getting-to-know process. Once you stopped getting to know the other person right after that lunch date you let him hold your hand for the first time, or that  movie date where you decided to kiss him back, or that night you finally opened your legs for him. It also doesnt end soon after you've watched all the seasons of House or read all the JK Rowlings books with him. It doesnt end when you both finally have jobs and wait for each other, depending on who gets off from work first. Point is, once it stops, the relationship is doomed. Rekindling a flame which used to have the same intensity as the sun's wouldnt be feasible anymore.

The getting to know part is why men wander. Its embedded in our genes. We can only fight it so much.

I said, "almost all", which could mean 60% of the population, which consequently mean that 4 guys would still have the capability/behavior to do otherwise.

Smile.

[dca201]

been there before..once in hi-school and another one in 2005.

h-school- nagkagustuhan sila ng bestfriend niya at sila talaga nagkatuluyan. good thing naging magkaibigan kami years after.
college- di lang talaga niya ako gusto, as in sumasabay lang sa panahon kasi generous ako. he was just after lust and my generousity..

How'd you know? Did the guy admit na that's that?

[airwaterfire]

h-school: walang ina admit. he said siya ang mali. weeks after, nalaman ko dance partner sila sa disco na school namin at nalaman ko na nanligaw siya dun sa bfriend niya. although wala ako sa disco na yon, our mutual friends told me.

college: we broke up after 2.4yrs, naramdaman ko lang na his feeling was not true kasi everytime i talked about getting hitched in the future he will divert the topic.

[dca201]

h-school: walang ina admit. he said siya ang mali. weeks after, nalaman ko dance partner sila sa disco na school namin at nalaman ko na nanligaw siya dun sa bfriend niya. although wala ako sa disco na yon, our mutual friends told me.

college: we broke up after 2.4yrs, naramdaman ko lang na his feeling was not true kasi everytime i talked about getting hitched in the future he will divert the topic.

What I meant by my question is did he admit that your 'generosity' was a factor?

[airwaterfire]

^ i see.

not really ( i hate him and i am very thankful that he's out of my life)

[missreese]

may magjowa (friends ko sila parehas)... nakipag break si guy... pero nakipagbalikan din siya after 10 months.. ewan ko kung anong dahilan kung bakit niya binalikan.

[chocobaby]

Eh what if 4 years kayo together (3 of them spent living together na), no big issues whatsoever. Bigla na lang nanghingi ng space si guy, you broke up then nalaman mo day after meron na syang iba and mga more than a month na silang ngfflirt.

Tapos nalaman mo preggy ka 1 month na nung ngbreak kayo and nung una walang pakialam si guy pero after a month nagpaparamdam, nagsosorry at nagsisisi na daw siya sa ginawa nyang pang-iiwan. Kesyo ikaw pa rin ang mahal pero naguguluhan. Tapos after one week e manlalamig na naman.

May pag-asa bang maayos yung ganun?

[airwaterfire]

^hmmm...

so mag 2months or 3 months na ang tiyan ngayon?
huwag na lang umasa si girl.
better focus on the kids and sa pinagbubuntis.
kasi ang guy, for sure hindi pa yon ready
at ayaw niya ng obligasyon especially if may kids na ang girl.

iba kasi pag ganyang lalaki, paiba-iba mag isip.
baka mapahamak ka pa in the future

[Tootsie31]

Bf ko nagsabi na friends na lang muna kame. 1 week kameng hindi nagusap at iniwasan ko talaga sya. Last friday, nagpapapansin uli.

[ragnar_danneskjold]

In my case, yes. When I said NO, it was final. And I stood by my decision like a boss. Haha. It was a quick and dirty job but it was necessary. Pag pagod na, tama na, wala nang emo emo.

[Alucard]

i believe there is no one formula for us guys when it comes to breaking up. however, there is some wisdom with this since it is generally very difficult for men to hurt a woman, doing so must take a lot of guts and preparation. ergo, they wont do it unless they really mean to. this is very true when it happens out of the blue because it means that the guy thought it out a lot... and not just pushed by anger or other emotions.

Super agree with this.

Most of the time naman kasi hindi talaga kaming mga lalake ang mag iinitiate ng break-up. Pero pagkami ng ang nagsabi. Siguradong sagad na talaga pasensya namin.

[ragnar_danneskjold]

^Apir! At kadalasan, di na namin sasabihin lahat ng reasons. Yung mga makakasakit ng sobra, we keep it to ourselves.

[aisa_dc]

Laging sinasabi sa akin na kapag babae na ang umayaw, yun na yung final. Hindi ba ito batay kung sino yung pinakanapagod na at naubos ang pasensya? Dati kasi may inayawan ako kasi pagod na pagod na ako. Tapos ngayon may kilala naman akong guy na umayaw kasi siya na yung naubusan ng pasensya.

[Filipinasadhart]

Re: Guys who initiate the break up, di lalaki yun hehe

[sixteen16]

based on my experience kapag si bf ang nakipagbreak it means "wala na talaga".. kahit mag-effort ka pa.. hindi na nya papansinin.. umiyak ka sa harapan nya wala na syang pakialam. magmakaawa ka walang mangyayari. worst is kapag sinoli pa nya mga bigay mo sa kanya (most painful part). 2 yrs din ang relationship namin. I admit naman na may ginawa akong mali pero tingin ko dinahilan lang nya yon. i mean nagkaroon sya ng dahilan para iwan ako. after non, nalaman ko na may pinalit na sya kagad sa akin. wala pang 1 month may bago na. so naisip ko baka nung kami pa may communication na sila.

[domin0]

hmm..

When a guy breaks up with a girl. it means over. Men are simple, its either yes or no. and sometimes maybe.

[romanticure]

Is it true ba na if guys daw ang nakipag-break it's final na at wala nang mangyayaring balikan? what does it mean po ba if guy yung nakipag break sa girlfriends nila? talaga bang ayaw na nila at wala ng pag-asa magkabalikan pa?

mahirap mag initiate ng break up, unless, may nakitang di kanais nais s'yo na di nya kayang pamuhayan ng matagal, kung mahal ka talaga nya maari nyang sabihin s'yo or pabago pero di ka naman nya mababago dahil nuon mo pa habit/ugali yan. Yes, it's final, wala ng balikan yun. 

[prettychestnut]

Filipinasadhart: super agree to the highest level!

[Tootsie31]

Aside sa napuno na sa girl, tingin ko pwedeng takot sa responsibility or commitment yung guy...

[iwannabeasupermodel]

Is it true ba na if guys daw ang nakipag-break it's final na at wala nang mangyayaring balikan? what does it mean po ba if guy yung nakipag break sa girlfriends nila? talaga bang ayaw na nila at wala ng pag-asa magkabalikan pa?

yung friend ko ganito. it's not final kasi tinry din niya eventually makipagbalikan but to no avail. then eventually parang nagkagalitan na sila ni ex. and the reason he gave me bakit siya nakipagbreak nung una eh yung studies niya, then habang tumagal he told me na pinayo daw sa kanya ng parents niya mas ok sa medschool na walang gf. nung yung unang reason pa yung sinasabi niya sa akin (yung studies) he sounds like a really nice boyfriend na si ex lang naman daw ang iniisip niya, na baka mawalan na siya ng time for ex. ngayon na yung parents thing na, what he is saying is sana pala di na lang ako nakinig sa mga magulang ko, etc.

btw, this guy, sobrang maimpluwensiya pamilya niya. ex is still studying and the school of ex is UST, so pwede siyang mag-UST if he really wants to be near ex. pero wala. hindi siya nag-appeal or anything. so i dont know with him, there was a time pa nga na sinabi niya na "maybe it's not really meant to be kasi if i really want to, pwede naman ako sa UST eh."

he's so weak talaga.