Guys who initiate the break up

[ms_teryosa]

Is it true ba na if guys daw ang nakipag-break it's final na at wala nang mangyayaring balikan? what does it mean po ba if guy yung nakipag break sa girlfriends nila? talaga bang ayaw na nila at wala ng pag-asa magkabalikan pa?

[TuscanSun]

i believe there is no one formula for us guys when it comes to breaking up. however, there is some wisdom with this since it is generally very difficult for men to hurt a woman, doing so must take a lot of guts and preparation. ergo, they wont do it unless they really mean to. this is very true when it happens out of the blue because it means that the guy thought it out a lot... and not just pushed by anger or other emotions.

[abuanddiego]

however, there is some wisdom with this since it is generally very difficult for men to hurt a woman, doing so must take a lot of guts and preparation. ergo, they wont do it unless they really mean to.

I agree, and madalas hindi nila sinasabi ng direchanan, mafefeel mo na lang na nagiging cold at wala na silang time for you, parating busy, wala ng care or worse they will intentionally talk about other girls. So kung makita nyo ang mga ganyang signs be wary, mahina kasi sila when it comes to conversation lalo na kung alam nilang masasaktan ang babae, so sa actions nila ipapakita.

So to answer your question sis, kung nakita mo ang mga signs bago pa sya nakipagbreak, isa lang ibig sabihin nun, ayaw na nya talaga.

[FOURever]

based on my experience, NO alala ko last year, nagselos and everything bf ko sa varsity player sa university namin kasi may mga pictures kami at nagiging close kami (for me wala lang yun pero syempre dahil crush ko yun, ok lang magkakilala kami. Mali ako dun i know). So galit na galit ang peg nya nun.

After makipaghiwalay, di nagparamdam ng ilang months pero sya rin unang nagtext sakin, nakiusap na pag usapan namin yung mga stuff. Nung nag usap na kami, gusto ko lang ng closure. Pero pinilit nya na makipagbalikan at bigyan kami ulit ng chance. Oh well

[ms_teryosa]

a friend told me kasi na if the guy initiated the break up it means wala na daw pag-asa makipagbalikan..

i had this guy for 5 years..  5 years straight hindi kami nag-break and 5 byears super saya namin..then last week ng march medyo naging shakey yung relationship namin..away-bati talaga kami and bihira na mag-usap kasi naging busy kami sa work.. then unti unti naramdaman ko na bigla syang naging cold... nagulat din ako kasi last holy week ok pa kami then after a week since di na kami masyadong nag-kakausap eh bigla na lang syang naging cold sa akin and last week nga he talked to me saying na pagod na daw sya sa situation namin.. to make it short he decided na mag-break na lang kami though ako naman humingi pa ng other chance kasi feeling ko hindi naman ganun kalala yung problema namin at pwede pa naman maayos.. kaso sabi nya pagod na daw sya.. hindi ko na rin masyadong pinilit kasi mahirap nga naman pilitin ang taong ayaw na.. 

kinabukasan i tried texting him pa pero wala na syang response..until now wala na akong balita sa kanya.. seems like ang bilis nyang nakalimutan yung 5 years na pinagsamahan namin.. we shared commin friends, boto sa kanya family ko and boto rin family nya sa akin..everything was so perfect kaya and weird isipin na ang bilis nya mag-give up at parang wala na talaga syang pakealam sa akin dahil hindi na sya nagpaparamdam to think na 5 years kami...

 

[ladychris17]

^ sis ganito ko siya nakikita, pero imo lang naman.
1. May babae na iba
2. Nagpapalamig lang (minsan mga lalaki talaga may anger issues mabilis madala ng galit) so antay mo lang. Kung wala naman mali or both kayo may mali, or mababaw lang mali mo, either di ka matitiis niyan at magtetext din kung siya ang mali. Kung ikaw naman kahit siguro mababaw lang, sorry ka nalang sis minsan yun lang inaantay nila. Ma- pride kasi tayo minsan
3. May mali talaga sayo na di mo alam or ayaw mo aminin. Malaking bagay ito at give up na talaga siya. May pagasa pa pero mahirap ayusin at kaylangan determined ka.
4. Narealize niya di ka niya ganon kamahal para tiisin ang mga pagsubok niyo at nagstay lang kasi perfect nga lahat at ko komportable ang relationship. Wala na to pagasa.


Kung alin diyan ang nangyari ikaw lang makakasagot. Again, this is only my humble opinion. Ikaw at siya padin ang nakakaalam niyam, ultimately.

Also to answer your initial question, no. Madaming lalaki na compulsive din sa breakups. Tapos babalik din agad in as soon as a snap. Literally.

[rheinfall18]

hi, just want to share also and ask advise..

how about if nakikipagbreak si bf everytime may LQ? then in the end babawiin din nya. lagi po ganito situation namin kaya naiinis ako.

one time inaccept ko yung decision nya, hindi talaga ako nagparamdam. ayun hindi natapos ang isang araw binawi din nya, sabi nya sinusubukan lang daw nya ako dahil parang hindi ko daw sya mapanindigan. i told him nakakasawa yung ganung attitude dahil walang assurance. halos ako pa ang sinisi dahil inaccept ko daw. duh!

i even told him na hindi yun ang basehan ng paninindigan ko sa relationship namin. mas okay naman isipin na kahit nag-aaway kami never ako nag-alok ng break up di ba kesa naman sa ginagawa nya.

any inputs from the guys? thanks!

[Serena.]

Totoo to. Nung nakipag break yung EX ko, wala na talaga. Nagtry ako makipagbalikan pero hindi nagrereply. Masakit sobra. Eto na ata yung pinakamalaking problemang dumating sakin noon. Hindi ko nga alam kung pano ko naka-move on. Napapanaginipan ko sya gabi gabi. Hindi ako kumakain. PERO, isa lang ang susi---ACCEPTANCE. Sobra talaga binago ng ugali ko pagkatapos ko maka-move on. Matured na, kumbaga. Kaya kung dati galit na galit ako sakanya(bitter ), ngayon thankful pa ako.


-para to sa lalaking nakipagbreak sakin.



xo

[iamshiela]

^well fresh pa sakin tong situation na to. siya yung nakipag break.
wala eh, ayaw na niya talaga kahit anong sorry ang gawin ko. nagpalit na din agad siya ng simcard para di ko na siya macontact.  ayun i'm still grieving about this.

[mbeeyap]

sakin hindi. yung ex ko parang alam na nya na totopakin sya during our relationship kasi sabi nya if maghihiwalay daw kami, wag daw ako magpaligaw sa iba kasi babalikan nya daw ako. after 6mos, nakipagbreak sya sakin thru text! which i accepted kasi ayoko na rin. at nakipagbalikan nga sya, pero ayoko na. 

[lyon]

@TS, i would say na it's true given your told story. relationship kasi ay parang investment din. you put your time and money as a couple but thinking na dead end ang relationship, you would rather quit on it than being empty handed at the end. siguro may tell tale sign na sya noon sayo na hindi mo lang pinapansin. i guess hindi madalas na makipagbreak ang lalaki, usually they get cold hanggang mabugnot ang babae at babae ang makipagbreak.

been there, than that...kaya yan ang opinion ko. 

but hey, ganyan talaga ang buhay. life is unfair anyway. meron ka naman na gain dyan eh. experience! at gaya nga ng sabi ni sis serena, the key is ACCEPTANCE.

[rheinfall18]

@tuscansun: what can you say naman to guys na nakikipag-break everytime may argument lang? pero bandang huli babawiin din? labo di ba..

[ButHonestly]

Usually pag lalaki na nakipagbreak suddenly at biglang wala nang paramdaman, may bago na yun. Babalik lang yan at magpaparamdam ulet pag narealize hindi pala worth it yung pinapalit nya sayo na akala nya mas magiging masaya sya or mas magakaroon sya ng relief of peace of mind.

Almost lahat ng lalaki may nakareserve na babae para hindi sila mabakante.

[TuscanSun]

@tuscansun: what can you say naman to guys na nakikipag-break everytime may argument lang? pero bandang huli babawiin din? labo di ba..

it is clearly an indication of a man's inability to handle properly his emotions. you see, when emotions surge, men become stupid and they have to simply reach an outburst. some outbursts, in fact, can be physical beating of the girl. some result to this break up na binabawi din naman when the emotions settle down.

it can be normal to a certain degree....but when the break-bawi cycle occurs frequently, the relationship will eventually just fade out...

[dheive]

 ^ hahahahahaha may kurot na naidulot sa puso ko ang thread na ito... lalo na dun sa part na " usually ang lalaki may reserve na para hindi na sila mabakante" .... hahhahaa.... ang sakit lang.....   

[chrisann]

Almost lahat ng lalaki may nakareserve na babae para hindi sila mabakante.

this happened in my past relationship. bf tried to break up (cool off daw)with me on our 3rd and 5th year together for selfish reasons -- he wants to live a bachelor's life for a few months. i was like, what?! ang relasyon ba may VL? i asked myself, hindi naman ako clingy and strict na gf. until i finally gave up and broke up with him on our 7th year. months later, i saw photos of him with another girl at the time we're together pa.

[dheive]

 ^ buhay pa ba teh? tara saktan natin yan! lol 

[chrisann]

^di ko lang alam, sis. wala na akong balita sa kanya. i'm happily married now anyway.

[jepoy22]

Almost lahat ng lalaki may nakareserve na babae para hindi sila mabakante.

i'm also concerned in this statement.. i believe, those guys who are like that are simply those that treat dating as a game, a display of pride perhaps?
imho, dating without considering marriage as the end point is quite a waste.. i wouldn't want to spend my limited time, money, energy, etc, on something that wouldn't last... (sorry, OT)

anyway, i have no idea about the thread topic, i've never initiated/wanted a breakup..  although we're still in our 5th year, but reading chrisann's post about their breakup on their 7th, i guess i really should always be on guard.

[airwaterfire]

been there before..once in hi-school and another one in 2005.

h-school- nagkagustuhan sila ng bestfriend niya at sila talaga nagkatuluyan. good thing naging magkaibigan kami years after.
college- di lang talaga niya ako gusto, as in sumasabay lang sa panahon kasi generous ako. he was just after lust and my generousity..