LOVED ONE/RELATIVE whos is drug dependent.

[muahmuahmuah]

^don't think na you didn't do enough. i think it was a wise decision and a brave one to make, having to separate yourself from your brother. as you said ikaw  sole breadwinner   and for you to go through that at an early age mahirap to focus with work and to deal with that much stress and responsibility.  i'm sure you had many sleepless nights worrying. don't regret the decision be grateful your mom and other brother was there sila yung mas makaka kaya nung emotional stress, pwede ka rin kasi mag breakdown if you were in the same place buti alam mo limits mo din  mas nakakatanda your mom and siguro brother dun kayo nagtulong tulong.  i wish you well.

[nessy]

^oh that's good news! glad he too is putting in the effort and buti nandyan ka maganda kang support system for him.

oo nga sis muahmuahmuah. im so glad ngayon may mga plano na kami for our future. at ang maganda pa doon is talagang i can see the effort from him na talagang nagsusumikap for us. malaki rin ang naitulong ng mga counselling namin. i remember, nung first 2 months niya doon, hindi kami pwedeng mag-usap. pero sabay kaming nagka-counselling. doon sa mga sessions namin, ay naintindihan ko kung bakit siya nagkaganon.at sana maintindihan din ng lahat, walang kahit sinong tao ang ginusto na malulong sila sa drugs. nasasabi lang natin na ginusto nila yun kasi nga lulong na sila. pero from the start talagang hindi nila gusto yon, natutulak lang sila ng environment/influence ng friends and all. would you believe, after going through that counselling i learned that the reason why he became one is not just her ex-wife's infidelity? it is also because of his parents. the way they were treated kasama ng mga siblings niya. oh, well, that was a different story. at meron rin pala akong nagawa kung bakit siya nagkaganon. pero hindi ko naman bine-blame ang sarili ko or him. ang importante kasi sa akin, sa amin ngayon, ay yung ngayon at yung bukas. sana yung mga iba nating ka-GT dito, pilitin nilang lumapit sa mga institution na makakatulong sa kanila if in case they have a family member who is a drug dependent. ang kultura kasi nating mga Pilipino is pag nasa rehab, masama ng tao, nasa kulungan at kung [textspeak!]-ano pang hindi magandang bagay ang iniisip tungkol sa mga nasa rehabilitation center. honestly, ganon din ang isip ko before. but when i decided na tama na, dapat gawan ko na ng paraan, ayun nalaman ko na hindi pala ganon. rehabilitation center i way different from city jails. malinis, maayos at tahimik. talagang therapeutic community and communication ang umiiral doon.kung may mga sisses tayo na gustong malaman on how to have their loved ones go through rehabilitation, just PM me.i'll be happy to help.para naman i can pay back doon sa magandang nangyari sa amin at naitulong sa amin ng rehab.

[nessy]

I have a brother who was a drug dependent. We suspected he was doing marijuana then it was already too late when we discovered that he was also doing shabu. He already stopped but now his brain is already messed up. Since 2009 he's been different, he wouldn't work and was very difficult to deal with. He's not violent but very verbally abusive. Tapos we noticed na para na siyang baliw and that's the reason why I moved out. I couldn't handle seeing him like that. Naaawa nga ako sa nanay ko kasi siya yong palagi inaaway nung brother ko. But being the sole breadwinner, I had to separate myself from the stress. We tried to have him treated eversince we noticed his changes. Pero wala ka magagawa sa taong hindi tanggap na may problema siya. Late last year after one of his outburst, my mother and another brother had to rush him to the Mental Hospital for emergency treatment. He was released the next day and was given medications. I heard he's doing better now and I'm hoping na gumaling na talaga siya ng tuluyan. Sa mga sis who are dealing with the same issue, be strong and don't do what I did. Don't leave your loved ones who are in this predicament. I'm not that strong enough  I'm still supporting my family financially pero emotionally hindi na talaga kaya. Mahirap tanggapin na may mahal tayo sa buhay na ganito.

sis inluvewithmikewesten, as per our psychologist, may mga case daw talaga na hindi na sila nagte-take, pero ang problema is yung ugali nila. si hubby ganyan din minsan. may mga times na mainit ulo, madaling mapikon and all. pero what i do is paaalahanan siya. i always remind him na hindi na tama ginagawa niya at kung ipagpatuloy niya, it may trigger his cravings and baka bumalik ulit siya sa bisyo. good thing it works always. with regards to your brother, baka naman sis kasi he is still into it at hindi pa totally tumitigil. walang masama kung lumapit kayo sa mga institution who will really help your family para umayos brother mo. i understand na talagang emotionally draining ang ganitong sitwasyon pero wala namang ibang tutulong sa mga kapamilya natin kung hindi tayo tayo rin.and most importantly, PRAY PRAY PRAY.yun ang talagang nakatulong sa amin.if in case your family decided na ipa-rehab ang brother mo, just PM me. baka makatulong kami. 

[inluvewithmikewesten]

^don't think na you didn't do enough. i think it was a wise decision and a brave one to make, having to separate yourself from your brother. as you said ikaw  sole breadwinner   and for you to go through that at an early age mahirap to focus with work and to deal with that much stress and responsibility.  i'm sure you had many sleepless nights worrying. don't regret the decision be grateful your mom and other brother was there sila yung mas makaka kaya nung emotional stress, pwede ka rin kasi mag breakdown if you were in the same place buti alam mo limits mo din  mas nakakatanda your mom and siguro brother dun kayo nagtulong tulong.  i wish you well.

Sis Thanks. Sobrang emotional stress talaga pinagdadaanan ng pamilya namin especially my Mom kasi siya nag-aasikaso sa black sheep namin na 'to. There were times na umiiyak ako mag isa and I even thought about killing myself! Feeling ko sobrang malas ko sa buhay kasi I have this huge responsibility tapos may kapatid pa ako na ganito!. But I'm much better now and nakatulong talaga yong pag alis ko sa bahay. Pero I'm really hoping na gumaling na 'yong brother ko. Although sobrang laki ng galit ko sa kanya kasi he did this to himself and to our family, pero nakakaawa din siya.

[muahmuahmuah]

@nessy now that you mentioned it,  just like sa AA (alcoholics anonymous) meron din support group for spouses i don't remember lang kung for spouses specifically i remember seeing one  book that talked about it what goes on in the suport group. nagulat rin ako na meron nga for that akala ko for the alcoholics lang. 

[inluvewithmikewesten]

sis inluvewithmikewesten, as per our psychologist, may mga case daw talaga na hindi na sila nagte-take, pero ang problema is yung ugali nila. si hubby ganyan din minsan. may mga times na mainit ulo, madaling mapikon and all. pero what i do is paaalahanan siya. i always remind him na hindi na tama ginagawa niya at kung ipagpatuloy niya, it may trigger his cravings and baka bumalik ulit siya sa bisyo. good thing it works always. with regards to your brother, baka naman sis kasi he is still into it at hindi pa totally tumitigil. walang masama kung lumapit kayo sa mga institution who will really help your family para umayos brother mo. i understand na talagang emotionally draining ang ganitong sitwasyon pero wala namang ibang tutulong sa mga kapamilya natin kung hindi tayo tayo rin.and most importantly, PRAY PRAY PRAY.yun ang talagang nakatulong sa amin.if in case your family decided na ipa-rehab ang brother mo, just PM me. baka makatulong kami. 

Sis mga July or August last year dinala siya sa public rehab sa Marikina, sapilitan yon ha as in sinundo sila ng mga Baranggay Tanod sa house namin kasi yong magaling kong kapatid nang away ng kapitbahay (Thank God I wasn't there kung hindi namatay ako sa kahihiyan!). Nanay said he tested positive but the rehab released him after two weeks because he was showing signs of mental illness and he needed to be seen by a psychiatrist. Wala daw kasi in house na pyschiatrist sa rehab. So ayun dinala ni Nanay sa psychiatrist, he was prescribed medications pero ayaw inumin. Hindi naman siya palaging magulo may times lang talaga na para siyang possesed.  There was another incident last December na kamuntik na siyang patulan nung isang younger brother namin. They rushed him to the Mental Hospital, tapos when he was brought back home the next day gusto na daw ituloy 'yong treatment. So we were so thankful. May mother thinks he's no longer using kasi ilang buwan na siyang hindi lumalabas ng bahay so wala siyang access. Pero hindi din ako sure, right now my entire family is keeping their eyes  on him and if ever will need to be admitted to a rehab again, I'll PM you sis. Goodluck sa atin!

[nessy]

the fact that Mental Hospital released him proves na hindi iya mentally illed.wala siyang problema sa utak, sis. and good na hindi na siya nagte-take. kailangan lang talaga malakas na support system. always talk to him ng mahinahon.walang sigawan and all. reverse psychology works as well. if ever maulit, look for another rehab center. nakakaloka lang na ang pinagdalhan niyo ay walang in-house psycholigist. dapat lahat ng rehab meron non. i know one na halos walang bayad. government funded ito. maayos at malinis. PM me kung ano man ang mangyari. always here to help.

[muahmuahmuah]

@inluve naku buti wala ka tinuloy sa plans mo magsuicide pag nirecycle ka back to earth eh baka yan pa rin ang magiging challenge mo, not only that yung galit na nafeefeel mo sa bro mo would elicit the same to the family members na maiiwanan mo for losing hope. for sure you've come out a lot tougher now ganun naman buhay we need to experience this to make ourselves better people just keep the faith it will.

[inluvewithmikewesten]

the fact that Mental Hospital released him proves na hindi iya mentally illed.wala siyang problema sa utak, sis. and good na hindi na siya nagte-take. kailangan lang talaga malakas na support system. always talk to him ng mahinahon.walang sigawan and all. reverse psychology works as well. if ever maulit, look for another rehab center. nakakaloka lang na ang pinagdalhan niyo ay walang in-house psycholigist. dapat lahat ng rehab meron non. i know one na halos walang bayad. government funded ito. maayos at malinis. PM me kung ano man ang mangyari. always here to help.

Hi Sis, aside kasi from drug use feeling ko he's still depressed about this girl who rejected him a few years ago. I suspect yon yong dahilan bakit nag escalate to shabu. So baka ngayon magkahalo na yong epekto nung previous drug abuse and depression about this girl, he was also depressed about his looks. So baka yun nga. Nanay ko kasi kumakausap sa psychiatrist and hindi matandain sa medical terms yon so hindi niya masabi sa akin yong exact diagnosis.

And you're right about the support system, if we supported my brother noon pa lang siguro hindi umabot sa ganito. My parents didn't know how to communicate with us, they were not the kind of parents na pwede mo kausapin if you have a personal problem.  Masermon sila noon and masakit magsalita. So kami magkakapatid, hindi din kami nakikipag communicate with each other about personal stuff. Pero ngayon sobrang supportive na nila sa kapatid ko.

I'm really hoping umayos na siya, and that we don't have to put him in a rehab. Pero maraming salamat sis!

@inluve naku buti wala ka tinuloy sa plans mo magsuicide pag nirecycle ka back to earth eh baka yan pa rin ang magiging challenge mo, not only that yung galit na nafeefeel mo sa bro mo would elicit the same to the family members na maiiwanan mo for losing hope. for sure you've come out a lot tougher now ganun naman buhay we need to experience this to make ourselves better people just keep the faith it will.

Sis, out of depression lang kasi hindi ko matanggap noong una. Pero okay na ngayon 

[nessy]

medyo parehas din ang story ng hubby ko sa brother mo. family and his ex ang reason bakit siya naging drug dependent. pero ngayon, pakonti konti nagbabago siya. sana ganon din ang brother mo. wish you luck, sis!

[ashie1127]

Hi nessy!may i know which governement rehab are you referring to?we're also planning to bring my brother dahil grabe na sya.he steals,lagi nasasangkot sa gulo at ubos na din gamit nya sa kakabenta so those are signs talaga that he's into drugs.pls let me know the process and fees.super thankyou

[nessy]

Hi nessy!may i know which governement rehab are you referring to?we're also planning to bring my brother dahil grabe na sya.he steals,lagi nasasangkot sa gulo at ubos na din gamit nya sa kakabenta so those are signs talaga that he's into drugs.pls let me know the process and fees.super thankyou

Sis, sorry I missed this post. Sent you a PM about the Rehab facility. Hope I was able to help. Update us regarding your brothers condition ha. God Bless us.

[kaiz]

my late bro was a drug dependent person. he was into it at age 15 pa lang and he died last april at age 32. the family went thru financial problems talaga before because of him. pina rehab na sya twice, pinakulong na but none worked for him. until sa pinabayaan na talaga namin siya. he died sa public hosp. dinala niya self nya dun.

[nessy]

^ Awww. That was such a heartbreak lalo na sa Parents ninyo. I just hope your brother finds peace in his heart. At least he is a better place now where He will not feel any pain and will not go astray. I'll pray for your brother. May he rest in heavenly peace.

[kaiz]

^thanks sis. yan nalang din iniisip naming, at least at peace na sya now.

[inluvewithmikewesten]

A few months ago I posted here about my family's trouble with brother. I visited my family about 2 weeks ago and my brother is doing really now! In fact nag wo work na siya ngayon! He was on medication for almost a month and pinatigil na din kasi nakakatulog na siya ng maayos. I'm so thankful to God, this was my wish when I completed the simbang gabi last year. Sana magtuloy tuloy na. Prayers really do help mga Sis.

[marge070407]

Sisses, baka may alam kayo na rehab na mura lang pero maayos naman. TIA

[nessy]

A few months ago I posted here about my family's trouble with brother. I visited my family about 2 weeks ago and my brother is doing really now! In fact nag wo work na siya ngayon! He was on medication for almost a month and pinatigil na din kasi nakakatulog na siya ng maayos. I'm so thankful to God, this was my wish when I completed the simbang gabi last year. Sana magtuloy tuloy na. Prayers really do help mga Sis.

Hay salamat naman may pagbabago sa brother mo. Thank God talaga. Ako ganyan di nsa Hubby ko, prayers lang talaga kailangan pati na rin siyempre tulong from authorities na may alam how to handle this kind of situation.

[solepurplelife]

Sisses, baka may alam kayo na rehab na mura lang pero maayos naman. TIA

Sis you can seek help sa city government. Dito samin its called MADAC (Mandaluyong Anti-Drug Abuse Council). They will help you para madala yung relatives nyo sa rehab in Camp Bagong Diwa at Taguig. Hindi lang drug addicts tinatanggap dito sis pati mga drunkard. Accdg to mom 3500php per month ang bayad. But if lumapit ka to city govt pedeng mabawasan at maging 750php per month. Then kung as in walang wala daw pwedeng lumapit sa DSWD tapos they'll screen you. If proven na you are not really capable magbayad magiging libre na sya.

Okay dito sis kasi well-maintained naman at malinis sila. Hindi lang sila nilalayo sa bisyo, dinidisiplina pa sila. Before daw hawak ng PDEA toh pero nalipat daw sa DOH since its a health issue  (they're just victims lang naman kasi diba?) and PDEa should deal sa mga drug related crimes, drug pusher and drug lords. Unlike daw before mas maayos na ang rehab center. Okay ang food at better ang management. Marami daw  narehab dito sis na galing sa sobrang mayayaman na family and even mga relatives ng ilang politician. I dont know if its true pero na admit na daw dito si Maricel Soriano. They say na mas okay daw irehab yung loved ones natin sa public institutions para they experience yung paghihirap. Unlike daw kasi sa private rehab ee parang nakukulong at nalalyo lang sila sa bisyo pero hindi sila nahihirapan kaya bumabalik din sa bisyo paglabas. Pero pinakamalaking factor daw talaga is wala sa pagpili ng rehab center kundi dun mismo sa patient. If the patient daw is walang balak magbago at ayaw tulungan ang sarili nya na gumaling babalik at babalik din sila sa drugs. Mahalaga din ang support system para maramdaman ng patient na may umaalalay sakanya at hindi mo sila iiwan.

In our case naman, my dad kasi has been drug dependent since were little. Our sufferings stopped when he went to abroad for work. Pero two years ago nung umuwi sya from abroad hindi na sya umalis ulit. Thats when bumalik sya sa bisyo at nagpahirap ulit samin. Lahat kami hirap financially lalong lalo na emotionally. It came to a point na everyday uuwi ka nag-aaway parents mo. That's why me and my siblings mas gusto pa noon mag hang out hanngang gabi para pag umuwi ee tulog na dad namin.
Sobra ang hirap ng mom ko dahil ako lang ang nagpprovide ee nag aaral pa ko ng college. Im blessed lang at na-hire ako ng company where I had my internship kahit nag-aaral pa ko. My dad got useless at walang inisip but himself.

Then theres this instance na nagkaroon ng malalang away parents ko. My dad was trying to sell na our furnitures. My mother didint permit him so my dad threatened her na sisirain na lang daw ang mga gamit sa bahay kung ayaw sya payagan. Kinabukasan my mom went to his kumpare who happened to be our brgy captain. He then called the attention of my dad, bring him to MADAC and have him undergone sa drug test.  Of course nag postive so he was then subject for rehab.

Dapat daw talaga idaan sa drug test yung patient para hindi sila mag object. Kasi kung hindi proven na user tapos ayaw mag pa admit wala daw magagawa kundi pakawalan. And syempre kapag nag positive tapos ayaw magpa-admit he'll be then transferred sa jail. Buti na lang nun kasi kasabwat ng mom ko yung brgy captain namin kaya inakala ng dad ko na its a random drug test sa brgy kaya sya pumayag mag undergone sa test.

First 2mos of my dad sa rehab hindi sya pwede dalawin. Twice a month lang sila pwede dalawin. Its every second saturday and last sunday of the month. During the first two mos hindi ko naiisip ang dad ko. Feeling ko kasi okay lang dahil sanay na kami wala sya sa bahay. Pero when we visited him  last June30 sobra akong naawa sakanya. Pumayat sya and mukhang malungkot. He even cried when he saw us. Akala ko may sakit sya pero sabi nya he's just happy kasi nakita nya kami. During those months daw ang dami nya napag-isip isip. How he treated us and panong naging wala na syang pakielam samin. Im not fully convinced pa naman na totally hindi na sya babalik sa bisyo nya pero I think malaki na ang nabago with the help of rehab. I really wish magtuloy tuloy na.  Tomorrow will be our second visit to my dad. Im excited na kahit slowly ee nagbabago sya at nagliliwanag na ang isip nya. Its never too late. Never lose hope mga sis .

[nessy]

^ Alam na alam ko ang pinagdadaanan mo, Sis. Ganyan din ako sa partner ko. Buti nga kayo super supportive. Family ng partner ko, wala. Sa akin na lang inasa ang pagdalaw and all. Anyway, okay na naman siya now. Pero tama ka don't expect na gagaling siya agad agad. Paglabas niya, may mga times na ang ugali niya ganon pa rin pero it doesn't mean na bumalik na sa bisyo. Parang it's part of the process kasi eh. Paunti-unti ang pagbabago nila. Partner ko ganyan din. Minsan mainitin ang ulo pero ngayon marunong na siya manimbang. Alam na niya ang consequences ng gagawin niya pag bumalik siya sa bisyo. At masaya naman ako kasi I can see na talagang may pagbabago siya.

Sa mga may relatives na may ganitong case, wag sana mahiya sa humingi sa mga institution ng tulong.

Ask ko nga rin pala sis solepurplelife, do your family needs to undergo counselling/seminars as well? Kasi yong rehab where napunta si partner eh ganon, pati family or sino man ang kasama sa bahay, kasali sa process.