All About Insecurities & Being Confident

[freelancebuddy]

Hindi naman maiiwasan sa mga girls ang mainsecure. Ako, kahit 8 years na kami ni bf may insecurities pa din ako. It just goes to show na we always want to look good for our bfs and husbands. I just remind myself that my boyfriend fell in love with me not because of my looks but because I'm smart. Yun lagi iniisip ko. Mean man but I always think, mas maganda sya pero mas matalino ako. But of course, I'm trying to work out on my looks. Di kasi ako pala-make up. Typical up student.

[junetwentythree]

I just noticed... bakit yung iba based on a significant other ang security of oneself? I don't think it should be that way at all. Learning to love yourself shouldn't have anything to do with anyone else.

Confidence shines when you truly believe that you've got something. And it doesn't necessarily have to be something that someone else doesn't have. I don't personally believe it's real confidence when you find that the things you are proud of are the things that your boyfriend's ex doesn't have or something. That's not confidence at all.

[jals vins]

^ i totally agree with junetwentythree. i think we all have our insecurities. i must admit i am still fighting my own insecurities, but to genuinely feel good about oneself must come from within. our sense of self-worth should not come from other people's compliments or our partner's assurance. people will always have something nice or unpleasant things to say about you.

the more we compare ourselves, the more we feel that there will always be something we lack or need to achieve. that kind of feeling is endless and frustrating. the cycle goes on and on.

if i feel that i need to improve on something, i do it for myself. if i feel heavy, unattractive and unhealthy, i exercise, start a clean diet, go to the salon and put some make-up on. if i feel dumb, i go read and educate myself. if i feel useless, i do good and appreciate my work and plan to travel. if i feel so low, i listen or watch feel good songs or movies, attend to my spiritual being and converse with God. though easier said than done, i set my own standards. it only frustrates me if i live my life in the shadows of other girls' beauty, achievements and talents. no matter what i do, no matter how hard i compare, at the end of the day, i'm still the girl i was created to be..my features, my mind, my spirit. it would be best to emphasize the good things i have and work on those areas i'm not so proud of. as i always say to myself.. ACCEPT IT.

the love and security that we get from our partners is just a bonus. i noticed that most of the fights i initiate with my bf stem from my own insecurities. no guy wants to be with someone who is spiteful, insecure, shallow or negative. i want to feel good so that i can radiate this positivity with my partner. he's had beautiful ex-girlfriends and i'm still trying so hard not to be jealous, but hey, i cannot spend the rest of my life thinking what they've had and what i lack. i am who i am.. and he chose me.

[michipoo]

ako din I admit insecure ako, pero hindi ako nagssalita ng negative sa ibang tao, lalo na sa mga nalilink sa boyfriend ko, feeling ko pangit pangit ko at wala ako kalaban laban (though hindi naman talaga). i need to overcome my insecurity. para mabalik nadin ang confidence at tiwala ko sa sarili.

[pinkbubbles17]

sis can u help me..i knw its been years.but i just found out that my bf had a communication with his ex-gf way way back..[textspeak!] am i goin to do? Now im feeling insecure about that gurl..and i also found out that he said to his ex he said that [textspeak!] we had is just a rebound relationship..

^sis snix,ganito kasi yun,i found out na yung bf ko nagkaron ng communication sa ex nia 3 years ago..ngaun ko lang nalaman..ano ba magiging reaction ko?..im so confused..magagalit ba ko or just forget about it..

[Lady Blue]

Siguro nga lahat talaga may insecurities, nasa paghahandle lang yan para hindi maging issue at maging negative aspect ng personality ng isang tao.

Growing up, I was insecure with my skin color. I have the typical brown complexion of Filipinas. And it's not even flawless. Add to that the fact na I looked manang. Very long, very straight black hair, eyeglasses at the age of 11. Lagi akong nagiging tampulan ng tukso ng mga bullies sa school. But never ko dinibdib masyado yung mga tuksong yun kasi I used to have a friend na always nagreremind sa akin na kaya nila ako tinutukso ay dahil naiinggit sila sa akin. ( He was 25 when I was 11) And parents' advices helped. They would always say na dala lang ng kabataan yan, ang importante you know what you are.

So ngayon wala ng insecurities. I learned to embrace everything about me, even though I am far from being perfect.
  And isa sa mga nakapagboost talaga ng self-confidence ko was the fact that guys find me attractive. NAgtataka nga ang karamihan ng mga friends ko and acquaintances kung bakit parang hindi ako nawawalan ng lovelife and kung bakit I was so popular with the guys eh hindi naman ako kagandahan. I am not the usual girly girl huh. You could say I am one of the boys. Medyo tomboyish. I am comfortable with guys. Actually karamihan sa mga friends ko ay guys. Maybe dahil na rin we used to own a boarding house and lahat ng mga boarders were professional guys so I had a lot of kuyas.
One of my exes told me, days after we broke up, (yes, I am still friends with all my exbfs) na isa sa mga kakaiba sa akin ay yung pagiging independent ko. Yung tipong parang kahit mawala siya sa buhay ko ay hindi ko iindahin and life would still go on for me. Ewan ko lang kung yun eh good thing o bad thing hehe.

So girls, be confident. Be independent. Don't be too emotional. Kung ang insecurities ay dahil sa physical imperfections, madami namang pwedeng gawin para maremedyuhan yan sa ngayon. Discover and love yourself.

Ang haba na, pasensya na.

[glamorosa_09]

hmmm... insecurity... nafeel ko yan nung early high school ako...

I want thin lips...
I want voluptous body...
I want round eyes...

Pero nung napanood ko ang "Today with Kris" featuring beautiful women with full lips, ganda pala. Dun ko lang naappreciate ang lips ko.

Nung naging uso ang slim body, dun ko lang din naappreciate my own body and started wearing clothes emphasizing my shape.

Nung nauso ang chinita (hindi naman ako chinita talaga, singkit laki mata ko), dun ko na lang din naappreciate eyes ko.

But as I mature, I learned, if I believe I'm beatiful it will radiate outwardly, and then other people will find me beautiful too.

Plus syempre, one must also strive to be beautiful inside. Kahit gaano ka pa kaganda, ang pangit naman ng ugali mo at mga salitang lumalabas sa bibig mo, wala rin, pangit din tingin ng ibang tao sayo.

Ang mga lalaki naman, hindi naman mang-iiwan yan for the sole reason of kagandahan... although it's a plus point... pero hindi rin naman tatagal ang lalaki sa napaka ganda at napaka sexyng babae na pangit ugali. In the end, inside beauty weighs more and it does not fades over time.

[iamfab]

Makiki-post na din ako dito kasi feeling ko insecurity issue 'tong drama ko ngayon..

I have an ex who's now really happy and inlove with his new girlfriend.
This ex is a good friend even after we parted our ways. we both had our new partners after we broke up. We also broken up with these partners we had, which led us to a time that we were both single once again. Pag wala kaming magawa, we see each other or we go out... sometimes with our common friends.. sometimes kami lang.. Pero walang balikan issue or anything na ganung drama.. We were good. We were friends.

After few months, nakita ko sa FB na may girlfriend na sya.. younger samin, at, I must admit - pretty.. tapos may post sila ng pics nila.. ang sweet. ang saya. other than pics, may mga post sya na you'll feel how happy and proud he is sa new girlfriend nya..

haaaay..
I feel affected. I don't know how exactly.
Natatakot akong mag meet kami with our common friends tapos kasama nya girlfriend nya.. it feels awkward.

I feel forgotten and invaluable - parang walang wala yung panahong kami pa.
I feel insecure - parang biglang nawalan ako ng beauty, appeal at character
I feel envious - gusto ko din ng partner na ganun ang feeling towards me. Happy, inlove, and proud.

I know I must not feel this way. pero di ko alam bakit.. di ko alam anung dina-drama ko..
Please enlighten me sisters.. Feeling ko kasi para kong walang ka value-value..

what's wrong with me? I don't understand what's bothering me..

[trishpassing]

Everyone has insecurity issues, it is just about how you handle it.

Ako, my insecurity is basically on my body weight, nauumay na ako sa mga nagsasabing ang taba ko etc., laki braso blah blah... and now. I am working out, not because I want to please them but because I realized, I need to be healthy again.

Another thing is, I have an acne-prone skin. May mga tao na who made fun of my face. But then again I realized, like my boyfriend always tells me, I am beautiful, and I believe. It is not always how you look physically but how you actually handle yourself.

People can find flaws towards other people but what makes them "succeed" is when these actually turns you down or creates all these negative ions in your aura.

[trishpassing]

^ I don't understand why some people find "maitim" not good. I have to come clean that I used glutha pills, this is because my skin is yellowish and hindi pantay-pantay, but the norm of finding it "ugly" I just don't get it.

The concept of beauty is really distorted nowadays. Nakakalungkot lang.

[the-it-gurl]

hay naku oo, especially pag parents mo yung nagpaparamdam sa yo na may mali sa itsura mo di ba.

[Girltalker2]

Sa tuwing nakakakita ako ng babae na di naman kagandahan at may mapagmahal at mabait na bf, nakakaramdam ako ng inggit.

sis, same here. iniisip ko  anong meron sila bakit may bf/hubby sila na mahal na mahal sila. 
I admit on my insecurities as well, pero lagi akong gumagawa ng paraan to overcome them.

So nasa derma ako, I drink lots of water, go to the spa, to maintain smooth skin (di naman perfect flawless but kahit papano sabi ng officemates ko I got good skin na daw). 

I also work out, diet to the max.  They tell me ok na katawan ko bakit ako lagi nagw-work out pa.  As in several guys would call me sexy.  Matakaw kasi ako umabot ako ng 150lbs at one time.

I also wear heels.  Pero hanggang 4 inches lang. Di ko na carry yung 6 inches.  Another confidence booster.

Parlor - I am very picky.  Kahit pa times 3 ang cost, I have to make sure I have to feel beautiful once I step out. Kasi no point magtitipid ako one time, Kahit pa free hair treatment gawin nila, but I feel lousy inside, useless.

But all these are just looks. Madali gawan ng paraan kung gusto mo.  It is their impacts inside you.  And the things you can do and dont do when you are confident.

[jobelle1984]

dati INSECURE ako,but lately narealized kong di dapat.i'm beautiful,nagpapapangit lang saken ang ugali ko.according yun ke bf.haha

[shaney]

love yourself and conquer your insecurities.. no matter anong itsura mo someone will fall in love with you.. mrami akong kilala hindi kagandahan at hindi kagwapuhan pero they have a healthy lovelife.. nakikita naman siguro ng partner mo kung insecure ka o hindi.. heheh

[sardonyxmemoirs]

love yourself and conquer your insecurities.. no matter anong itsura mo someone will fall in love with you.. mrami akong kilala hindi kagandahan at hindi kagwapuhan pero they have a healthy lovelife.. nakikita naman siguro ng partner mo kung insecure ka o hindi.. heheh

Yan nga din ang sinasabi ko sa sarili ko, mga sis. Kaso ang hirap. Ang hirap talaga. Di ko alam kung anong mas masakit, yung makita kong maraming mas maganda sa kin ang nagkakaboyfriend or yung may mga, quite frankly, mas swangit pa sa akin na may nagmamahal din sa kanila. Para bang sinasampal sa mukha ko na pangit ako inside and out. Na forever na kong mag-iisa. Hopeless case na ko.

[barebare]

insecurities dati wala, pero now meron. Naiisip ko pa rin na pinagpalit ako ng ex ko sa mas sexy. Tapos ngayon yung bf ko magbibiro ng mga gimik nila ng barkada nya may mga sexy daw na chicks. Nakakawala talaga ng confidence lalo na yung bf mo na yung magsabi. Di naman ako selosa or mahigpit,kung sa ibang girls yun di papayagan yung guy nila na gumimik. I'm not obese hindi rin overweight dati pero ngayon tumaba ako lalo, hindi man halata kasi i'm tall pero kita talaga na nag gain ako. I'm going to lose weigth na,nakakadepressed din.

[superbubly]

insecurities ko madami, lumaki akong laging binubully ng mga classmates pati mga pinsan ko yung mga pinsan ko kunwari di nila ako binubully pero silent lang ang atake, magaganda kasi lahi nila, ako hindi ganun kaganda, hindi pinalad ng magandang nose, parang ilong ni Nina lang yung nose ko tapos problema pa itong height ko ang hirap matanggap sa trabaho huhu pero, okay na din, natanggap ko, sabi nga its all about accepting yourself whatever looks you have basta accept it and learn to love it.

[amelia_eyeheart]

insecure ako pero hindi ko sinasabi sa ibang tao.  a secret i've been keeping to myself as a child.
elementary days until high school and college people would always say "why are you so pretty?" pero sa loob-loob ko i never ever see myself that way. i see myself ugly all the time. kaya pag sinasabihan ako ng maganda feeling ko they're just being polite or kind. i feel really bad.

what i do when i feel like this? i focus on other things. it's hard actually but i try.

siguro kasi when i was a child my siblings always poke fun at me. so when i'm outside and strangers and schoolmates tell me i'm pretty i never believe them.

so to girls who are already mothers please never ever let your child be insulted kahit na pabiro. tumatatak sa utak ng bata yon hanggang tumanda na siya. kahit joke.

[anirazc anasor]

I was also insecure in some years ago.. lalo na nung high school..
i was insecure with my hair, since its thick and coarse.. can't afford ko pa ang mga rebond nun.
my teeth, since malalaki sya nung mga panahong yun.haha..
nose, di kasi sya matangos like my mother and kuya.
my mother, she's beautiful and she always mocked me w/ my looks, manang daw, baduy.. hai (love her to death still)
and most of all, with my height..
i was the only one in my group of friends with no suitors and boyfriend..

but now, i am the queen of my world. Haha.
i started building my character and looks in college..
gain suitors and met my boyfriend up until now.

i blossomed at the right time.

passed the CPA board exam.
and now i feel, what else to prove to them?
i already proved my worth to myself.

[sakuramie]

ako medyo because of this scar in my left leg, had this when I was still in Elementary days di nawala, so yun di ako makapagsuot ng mga sexy skirts and shorts, minsan naiinggit ako sa iba pero I didn't allow myself na magfocus sa insecurities na yun, ginagawan ko na lang ng paraan to cover it up!