Online Dating

[lesters_gal]

^^ I still believe that men should have the privilege to make the first move - to ask you out.

So somehow you should put yourself out there - mingle and socialise. If you call smiling, being friendly and making conversation - as first moves YES for me. But asking him out for coffee etc - NO for me, Mas prefer ko parin guys to ask.

Also, I don't believe in pakipot. I'd call it more of being cautious na di ka Ma-fall sa isang guy that is not right for you.

Kasi men and women are built differently. Tingin ko women fall easier than men which makes us more vulnerable to heartaches. and for you to ask Someone out, may feelings/expectations ka na na invested somehow for you to have the courage. Kasi we tend to know the guy more before we like him enough to ask him out. More of personality based ang decision natin to like a guy.

As for men, simple lang. they ask you out if they find you interesting and want to know you more. Kahit wala pa feelings attached. That makes it very efficient for them to ask several women in a week as they are just there to have fun and get to know you. Mas nauuna physical attraction kasi before they fall truly deeply in love.

Very True. On point lahat ng sinabi mo sis. Kaya ako kahit bet ko yung guy hindi talaga ako ang unang nag aask lumabas. Kaya Kapag inaask na ako sympre hindi na ako nagpapakipot go na.Lol  ang technique sa online dating dapat talaga wag ka mag focus sa isang guy lang, hanggat walang matinong usapan na exclusive dating na kayo. Go and meet other men din. Kasi ganun din ang ginagawa ng mga lalake eh. Para hindi ka maatach kaagad.

[misslovelyjoy]

^Take note ko nga yung wag magfocus sa isang guy lang. Ako kasi minsan ganun eh. Kahit wala namang napapag-usapan na exclusivity.

[kvandenhaak]

^I tend to be like that, yung one at a time lang ang date. Feeling ko pangit  kasi old school ang kagagahan. Parang dineprive ko yung sarili to choose among guys na gusto akong i-date. It's not too late to change strategy.

[Girltalker2]

^ and ^^ yup, that's really the way to go.

If iisa lang kasi dine-date mo, madali madevelop feelings mo especially if the guy is a sweet talker and all attention on you. Kapag inallow mo iyan without knowing the guy first, you are going into a greater risk of heartache.

But if you try to mingle, socialize, not only you will be able to compare how men can be different in their own ways, it also teaches you what is real/not real, makes you also realize ano talaga ang hanap mo (or gusto mo) sa isang partner at ano ang mga non negotiables mo. The activity of dating different people (mingling) at di naman ibig sabihin bf agad hanap mo, but it also helps you to get to know yourself better (self awareness). Nang sa gayon, kahit kanino ka pa makipag relasyon in the future, you will know better how to manage yourself and the relationship better, which can make you have a greater probability of success in your relationships 😊

[misslovelyjoy]

My thinking kasi before, if I'm entertaining many boys eh ang salawahan ko. Like if I date this guy today then the other guy the next day and so on and so forth.

[Girltalker2]

^ yup, that's the common notion.

But then you should just be honest to them and to yourself. Rule #1 - set the objective - tell them you are on the lookout for friends, and just see if it can progress further or if not, friends nalang.
That's why you are also seeing other guys.
And the guys you see are also free to see other ladies they want.

Rule #2 - since walang commitment, no intimacy. So at least clear ka from the start. If they are only interested in sex, sila na kusa lalayo. But you're clear na ayaw mo ng sex. At ang hanap mo ay friendships that can turn into a good relationship.

This is not the ligaw approach. Whereby the guy would just profess his 'undying' love. For me, it is BS. How can he love you if he didn't have the chance to get to know you?
Kaya para sakin importante to get to know each other first as friends and see if there's potential na Maging kayo. Be it online or actual dating na pakilala-pakilala. Though personally, havent tried online.

[kvandenhaak]

I am just wondering how you deal with cubs? Ninety five percent of the guys who wants to date me are at least 10 years younger than me. Half of it are mid 20s to early 30s. Should I satisfy my curiosity as to who they really are or just tell them to go look somewhere?

[Girltalker2]

^ for me, at this age, if they don't fall within my criteria, Hindi ko na inentertain kasi sayang din sa oras. Somehow may checklist ako. So far naman youngest that I've gone out with is 4yrs younger.

yes curiosity is one factor why I agreed. As a backgrounder, I didn't experience dating/ getting to know other men when I was younger. Kasi my only bf turn hubby then ex hubby was my childhood sweetheart. So wala akong alam about playing games and dating etc. Initially when I got separated, I'm happy na the way everything was with me and my kids. Then when I turned 40 (yes I'm way way old old old na haha), that's the time I realised parang may kulang. thats the time I started going out. So I formulated a checklist/criteria, it was evolving as I get to know different male friends.

My criteria for a guy's age now is 5-10 years older. When I went out with men 1-4 years younger than me, wala pa yung 5-10 yrs older criteria ko haha narealize ko lang they're not mature thinkers pa, and nagkataon feeling ko Hindi kami pareho ng wave length. And most often, I don't find them intellectually attractive.

In your case naman, if you're just curious, so it can help you know yourself more, then go. Why not, you're single naman. Ang reservations ko lang if tumagal ang friendship, meron bang patutunguhan iyan. First Baka maging sugar Mommy ka lang especially if 10 yrs or so ang gap. You're lucky siguro you look young. For me kasi I'm particular on me looking older (vain!).  Kahit magsing-age lang kami, I'm very careful. I think naman I still look younger than my age, FOR NOW... but once our relationship turns into something special, and we reach 60 yo, I don't like the idea na Baka Mas maging matanda ako tingnan. 😂

Another reservation I have in dating much younger guys is Baka mabansagan akong cradle snatcher. For me nakakahiya din. There was this guy who approached me and asked me out na mukhang kasing age lang ng anak ko my gad! At most he is in his 20s. Nakakaawa tingnan when I said sorry I'm not interested but I'm flattered. I also think of the future eh, what if later magkita ulit kami and this time kilala pala nya some of my friends, parang nakakahiya aminin some time back I dated that young lad na 10-15 yrs my junior. But this is just me.

[kvandenhaak]

I am in my mid 40s, napapagkamalang in my 30s. If I stick to someone older than me, zero ang chance to meet someone. Kung meron man, mga mukhang lolo ko na. I am very particular with what they do for a living so I always ask. Kapag potential freeloader, goodbye agad. I thought about it, what will I get from dating younger guys if I know that we won't end up together anyways? Potential customer kako... LOL!

I was the same, I didn't enjoy the experience dating guys when I was younger. My friends said it's my chance now so, wag daw masyadong old school as long as I am not sleeping with every single one of them. I actually made out with a 27 year old guy.. LOL! Eh yun naman, 8 months of texting before  I decided to meet him. Hindi ko lang napigilan, ang gwapo kasi ng hinayupak...LOL! The last guy I had a dinner date the other day was 10 years younger. I freaked out and left, namimilit kasi to invite him over to my apartment and was hugging me too much and tried to kiss me. Kaloka lang. Mabuti pa yung bagets, marunong magpaalam.

[Girltalker2]

^ grabe naman iyan, iba din culture pag westerner.
At least sakin kahit papano, Asians parin, so may reservations.  No touch talaga. Kahit akbay di puede.

Siguro one time holding hands - at most na iyan, after a few dates pa, not first 2-3 dates. Also they know somehow here pag wala naman commitment, wala talaga kiss or anything intimate.

[kvandenhaak]

He is from Europe, former Communist country so I don't know how they treat girls. Local Canadians are more careful. They won't do anything unless there's permission. I prefer white guys over Asians. Luckily, they are everywhere.. LOL! Naiinis ako sa style ng mga Pinoy.. LOL!

[junetwentythree]

He is from Europe, former Communist country so I don't know how they treat girls. Local Canadians are more careful. They won't do anything unless there's permission. I prefer white guys over Asians. Luckily, they are everywhere.. LOL! Naiinis ako sa style ng mga Pinoy.. LOL!

Russian?

[kvandenhaak]

Lithuanian! A 28-year old Polish guy is inviting me to go out. Kala ko British sya. Anyway, I told him I am not sure how Europeans treat their women but in Canada you can't force girls to do anything. Otherwise, you can get charged with assault and go to jail. Just a friendly advice kako!

[three8one]

LOL! Naiinis ako sa style ng mga Pinoy.. LOL!

Ano kaya yung nakakainis na style ng mga pinoy? Curious lang (chismoso on the other way around)..   

[Girltalker2]

I am in my mid 40s, napapagkamalang in my 30s. If I stick to someone older than me, zero ang chance to meet someone. Kung meron man, mga mukhang lolo ko na.

Sis, di naman siguro. There are guys in their 40s na fit pa naman. Siguro they hang out more sa gym or healthy part ng groceries. Kelangan lang ma-differentiate mo sila from gays. 😁 Or sali ka ng mga exercise groups, games. I used to join bowling, dragon boat, badminton games, etc.

Hanap hanap ka pa

My current partner is 10 years older sakin and exercises more than I do. Napagkakamalan kaming members ng youth group sa church (age 16yo-25yo). 😂

Lithuanian! A 28-year old Polish guy is inviting me to go out. Kala ko British sya. Anyway, I told him I am not sure how Europeans treat their women but in Canada you can't force girls to do anything. Otherwise, you can get charged with assault and go to jail. Just a friendly advice kako!

My colleague lawyer na British, gentleman naman 😁 Very formal nga eh.
I think it still depends.

Pero ever since talaga one of my criteria is nag masters or nag aral pa after bachelors degree. Sabi sakin ng Friend ko di naman ibig sabihin ok kapag may MBA na. Tsaka mahirapan daw ako naghanap. Pero para sakin, kahit na, for some reason I find them interesting and more attractive. Tsaka if ever wala ako mahanap, ok lang kasi. If meron, bonus na.

Naiinis ako sa style ng mga Pinoy.. LOL!

Oo nga, anong style?

For me naman, I don't find them attractive, in general. Hindi masarap kausap. Mahiyain na parang babae. Di makalapit and need to ask pa from someone my number.
Most have bellies din, especially in their 30s and 40s.
Tapos nakaka turn off din if they don't know how to swim.

[LisaSupe]

have you girls heard of tinder and other dating sites?  Have you tried it? Hows the crowd in those sites? Friendly ba?  Serious?  Or they just want to fool around?  Im curious....

[kvandenhaak]

^The Lithuanian guy actually is very educated kasi may Master's degree. Anyway, ayoko rin naman ng lalaking sobrang vain. Simple lang naman din ang hanap ko. A little extra weight is not an issue for me. Maraming gwapo, kung gwapo rin lang ang hanap but it just happens that most guys that approach me especially online are younger than me. And it takes a bit longer for me to warm up with someone new and most guys wants to meet right away. Si Eric, who was 19 years younger...he messaged me online in July 2016. March 2017 na kami nagkita kasi hindi ko nga pinapansin. Pero, first meeting I made out with him agad...LOL! Hindi kasi ako pakipot, mahirap lang hanapin ang kiliti.

Ang mga Pinoy kasi na na-meet ko, feeling mga gwapo...mga leche! They think that since I haven't been in a relationship for quite awhile eh tigang na tigang at sabik na sabik. I mean, kahit ano namang lahi merong bastos di ba? Pero merong nakakainis na approach. Example:

Convo with Canadian

Guy: Hi there! How are you doing? What's up with you tonight?
Me: Hey there! I am good. Oh, nothing much. Just ready to go to bed.
Guy: What? What's the hot chick doing in bed this early? You should be out and about having fun or something. That or I can joing you and cuddle for a bit. Pardon me but I find you pretty hot.
Me: Thanks, but look at our age difference.
Guy: I saw that but that's just a number.
Me: Not looking for a hook-up so just look somewhere else.
Guy: I still want to meet you and see if there's a spark. Who knows, it could lead to something more?
Me: Whatever...lol! Enjoy your night, kid!

Convo with Pinoy

Pinoy: Kumusta po? Matagal ka na palang hiwalay?
Me: Okay lang. Yep, since 2011
Pinoy: Oh, baka ako ang hinahanap mo?
Me: Oh? What made you say that?
Pinoy: Well, I am sure hinahanap mo rin yun minsan.
Me: Let's say I do, eh ano naman pakialam mo dun?
Pinoy: Ang taray mo naman. I am just saying, pwede kitang matulungan.
Me: Patangkad ka muna, uy!
Pinoy:  Di nga ako matangkad pero matindi naman ako dun. Di ka magsisisi. Punta nga pala ako ng Edmonton next week.Kita tayo kahit sa Tim's,libre mo akong kape.
Me:  *blocks the guy* Leche, kapalmuks!

I have a strong personality and Pinoys like their girls the sweet, pa-cute type. At ang daming babaero....WAG NA! Maybe it's just my preference. I like him caucasian.

[mysterioza_me]

^Jusko walang pambili ng kape si kuya. Nag-aaya ng free sex pati ba naman kape free pa din hahaha. Pero bakit nga ba ganyan Pinoy ngayon? Naalala ko na naman tuloy yung nagmessage sa akin dati na nag-offer na susunduin ako bayaran ko na lang daw pangtaxi niya at saka lunch. Akala ata desperada ako pasundo sa office. Di bale na kaya ko umuwi mag-isa haha

[kvandenhaak]

^LMAO, kapal nga fezlak di ba? Nakakainis, feeling mga gwapo pero wala namang pera. See, feeling nya sabik na sabik ka and you will be willing to shoulder the expenses para lang magkita kayo?  At least etong mga bagets, marunong naman mahiya.

[mysterioza_me]

^Buti pa ang bagets hahaha. Kapag Pinoy dapat on-guard lagi kung hindi maiisahan ka. Well di naman lahat ganun pero ingat na din and be wise.

May mga naka-chat din ako before pero kung di boring kausap mga manyak naman. May iba pa na di po nakikita ng personal uutangan ka na. Ka-turnoff mga ganun, magba-bye na ko and blocked ko na pagganun