kabit, kabit at puro na lang kabit (thread 2)

[mamapeew]

Same story with a friend of mine, may password pa ang cell ni mister. Kapag nag duda ka, tatawagin kang "praning" ni mister, with matching drama na you are having doubts on him. Hurt kuno si mister na hindi mo siya pinagkakatiwalaan. Siyempre ang wife na-guilty at pinagdududahan si mister, shrugging the "gut feeling". Ayun, dahil ayaw niyang tawagin siyang "praning" ni mister, hindi na niya pinagdudahan, kahit may kutob eh dead-ma nalang. So after a year, nagulantang si friend. Ang mister may anak sa ibang babae.

Sis happyfemme, i'm praying na sana hindi. I don't think there is any way for me to know. Malinis ang fb nya. Wala naman akong nakikitang kahina hinala. When we're together, nararamdaman ko namang importante pa rin kami sa kanya. Pinagdadasal ko talaga sana na hindi. Hindi ko na iniisip sarili ko kung masasaktan ako, i can move on. Pero i couldn't stand it if he would break our daughter's heart. Mas masasaktan ako para sa anak namin kasi she adores her dad so much. Sana talaga hindi mangyari yon.

[katara92]

hi! newbie here. matagal na ko nagbabasa ng mga threads pero ngayon lang ako nag join. lol. 
mine was a different story (i think). i have a relationship with a married guy, they have a kid. naghiwalay sila years ago ng wife nya nung nag-abroad si girl tapos nagkaroon ng iba dun which he found out through e-mail and pictures. after nun wala na silang communication. may 1 year na relationship namin, tapos recently biglang bumalik si babae, nagsorry and nakikipagbalikan sa kanya. inaway away ako. lol. what to do?

[mrs.S.]

hi! newbie here. matagal na ko nagbabasa ng mga threads pero ngayon lang ako nag join. lol. 
mine was a different story (i think). i have a relationship with a married guy, they have a kid. naghiwalay sila years ago ng wife nya nung nag-abroad si girl tapos nagkaroon ng iba dun which he found out through e-mail and pictures. after nun wala na silang communication. may 1 year na relationship namin, tapos recently biglang bumalik si babae, nagsorry and nakikipagbalikan sa kanya. inaway away ako. lol. what to do?

Kung legal stuff ang pagbasihan sis yung wife talaga ang mas lamang sayo. But if the husband wants to / willing to annul his wife para sayo then you are fine. It will get messy though but make sure where you stand kasi mahirap din if there's a kid involved. Nangyari na to sa friend ko, good thing lang all turned in her favor. Yung guy ayaw na talaga niya sa wife so sila yung nagkatuluyan.

[mamichula]

^sa share lang naman nung husband may mana yung illegit na anak, while yung legit na anak ng mag-asawa may share sa parehas.

Lugi pa din  Like what @mamapew and happyfemme explained what if mas madami ang legal kids na maghahati sa other half ng dad's share? Mas maliit pa ang share ng legal na anak kesa sa anak sa labas.

OKay let's say wala namang kasalanan ang mga anak sa labas kasi hindi naman nila ginusto na maipanganak sa sitch na un pero still mas hindi naman kasalanan ng legal na anak na nagkaron ng kabit ang tatay at nagpa anak ang kabit kaya mas maliit ang share nila.

Parang ang sad sad naman sa legal kids they saw na nasaktan ang mommy nila nasaktan pa sila in the end makikihati pa sa mana nila.

[mk_23]

We can't judge everyone...but ako personally I despise type ng girls na "kumakabit". there are just girls who really find joy in seducing committed/married men... madami pa diyan yun kilala pa nila yun wife or girlfriend and they really crawl and do everything they can to steal your man...I've come across girls who pretend they're sweet & innocent but may ulterior motive pala.. worse they do things para mag away kayo ng partner mo.Pathetic really, most girls who do that have severe insecurity issues, and super low ng self esteem. Ang advice ko lang wag nalang patulan...kasi kahit makipag away pa sa mga kabit the more they'll be challenged. Nasa partner na natin yan.. sila naman ang committed saatin eh. if they love and respect us hindi nila papatulan.. if patulan nila then they're not worthy of our love and commitment. It's that's simple. Ang lalake kahit bantay sarado, if papatol sa kabit they'll find a way. Kaya tayong girls we should never let anyone disrespect us. We don't deserve crap.

[mikaela325]

^i agree. Lately ko lang nalaman na yung isa kong kakilalang girl w/ kids and hiwalay sa asawa eh kabit na pala nung husband ng kaibigan nya. Di ko alam paano nya nasisikmura yun. Walang kaalam alam yung wife kasi close silang 3, the husband, wife and si kabit.

[Msfi]

Lugi pa din  Like what @mamapew and happyfemme explained what if mas madami ang legal kids na maghahati sa other half ng dad's share? Mas maliit pa ang share ng legal na anak kesa sa anak sa labas.

OKay let's say wala namang kasalanan ang mga anak sa labas kasi hindi naman nila ginusto na maipanganak sa sitch na un pero still mas hindi naman kasalanan ng legal na anak na nagkaron ng kabit ang tatay at nagpa anak ang kabit kaya mas maliit ang share nila.

Parang ang sad sad naman sa legal kids they saw na nasaktan ang mommy nila nasaktan pa sila in the end makikihati pa sa mana nila.

Not really sis, example the property cost 100k at may 2 legal na anak plus   1 illegit Si husband, yung paghahatian na kasama si illegit dun Lang sa 50% na share ng husband w/c is 50k. If d na makishare Si wife dun tig 16.67k ang hatian but the legal children will still have additional tig 25k each from the wife's share. So mas malaki pa din share ng legit na anak. That's what I remembered from my aunt's lawyer. So what she did was transfer all their properties sa mga anak nila para kahit konti wala talaga makuha yung ibang anak sa Kabila ni uncle.

[mamichula]

Not really sis, example the property cost 100k at may 2 legal na anak plus   1 illegit Si husband, yung paghahatian na kasama si illegit dun Lang sa 50% na share ng husband w/c is 50k. If d na makishare Si wife dun tig 16.67k ang hatian but the legal children will still have additional tig 25k each from the wife's share. So mas malaki pa din share ng legit na anak. That's what I remembered from my aunt's lawyer. So what she did was transfer all their properties sa mga anak nila para kahit konti wala talaga makuha yung ibang anak sa Kabila ni uncle.

What if madami sila like mamaphew? Let's say mga 8-9 legal kids na maghahati vs. 1 illegit child?  Haay plus the emotional trauma sa legal kids grabe! Naagawan na nga ng asawa ang mommy mo makikihati pa sa maiiwan. Kaya I would understand why madalas galit na galit ang legal kids sa illegit child kahit sabihin pang wala namang kasalanan yung anak sa labas. Siguro kahit anung explain pa ng hatian for the legal kids sa sobrang sama ng loob nila feeling nila walang dapat makuha ang anak sa labas kahit pisong duling.

^kung di sya kabit, ano tawag nya sa sarili nya?

Kulasisi! Other woman! extra curricular activity!

^true, ang kapal ng mukha magpabuntis para lang sa pera. imagine paghihirapan nyo ipundar ng asawa mo makikihati pa anak nila sa mana! bumukaka lang naman pinuhunan nila. 

How unfair diba? Usually pa when a guy's starting out palang ang kasama [textspeak!] wife. Pag may pera na the guy ayan na nagdidikitan na ang mga malalanding linta pag naka amoy ng pera. Magpapa anak and then manghihingi ng mana.

[Msfi]

^if 9 legal children plus 1 illegit eh di 10 magdivide dun sa 50% share ng husband, using same figure sample tig 5k each kid plus yung 9 legal mag divide sa sa wife's 50% share so may additional 5.55k sila so sum ng sa legal na anak 10.55k each dun sa illegit 5k lang. Dun sa share ng father lang may share ang anak sa labas kay a di pwedeng mas malaki share nila.

[mamichula]

^ Ah your explanation pala is different from mamaphew's she said kasi diba " Since anim kaming magkakapatid (legal), hati hati kaming anim sa kalahati ng property nya at yung dalawang anak sa labas hati dun sa kalahati."

Ang sad. Pinagkalakalamay instead of the legal kids dividing the properties amongst themselves may sisingit. As I said maybe for legal kids because of all the trauma they experienced sa pang aagaw sa tatay nila they feel kahit singkong duling wala dapat yung ilegit child. Kaya mamaphew's reaction is normal as well as the others who experienced this. Wonder how it must have been like for the legal wife? Seeing na may kasama sa nag aask ng mana. Kahit walang kasalanan sa kanya the kid yun [textspeak!] bunga ng kalokohan ng husband nya.

Question bakit kaya I've read so many posters who got cheated on when they were pregnant? why kaya? Just coincidental?

[mamapeew]

^that was how it was explained to us. So ibig sabihin ni sis msfi, kung conjugal property, hatiin pa rin sa dalawa then yung kalahati paghahatian pa between the legit & illegit. Pero kung sa father lang nakapangalan, mas malaki makukuha ng illegit kung marami ang legit na maghahati, tama ba?

Still, i'm glad ipinangalan na sa amin properties. I never met our half sister & brother. Dahil bunso ako at lagi akong kasama ng magulang ko noon, i saw how broken my mom was. Buti nga di na sila (illegits) nagpakilala sa akin. Kahit wala silang kasalanan, hindi ko pa rin kayang tanggapin. Dahil sa nanay nila, hindi ko na naexperience ang "1 big happy family". 5 years old pa lang ako, nakikita ko na sila mag away. Ngayon, ang naaalala ko lang nung kabataan ko, yung mga hindi magandang nangyari. My dad stayed with us dahil sabi daw ng mga kapatid ko kawawa naman daw ako, nagiisa akong babae magdadalaga daw akong walang tatay kung mag hiwalay sila. Kaso all throughout my childhood ang naaalala ko lang yung away nila, yung bitterness ng mom ko. Kung may isip na sana ako noon, nasabi ko sa kanila na kung iniisip nyo kapakanan ko, hinayaan nyo na lang sila maghiwalay kesa away ng away.

Kaya advice ko palagi, if it's not working out anymore, maghiwalay na lang than traumatize your children. I forgave my dad. Tatay ko pa rin sya and i love him but i was hurt terribly. Kaya i told my husband, if we have a misunderstanding, we made a pact never to show it to our little girl. Kawawa kasi ang bata lalo na kung di pa masyadong nakakaintindi. Kahit anong explanation, isa lang ibig sabihin sa kanila. Hindi happy ang parents nila.

[Msfi]

^A lawyer can correct me if i'm wrong ha, pero ang alam ko as long as walang prenup agreement kahit sa husband lang nakapangalan ang property considered as conjugal property pa din, pwedeng habulin ni wife yung share nya.

Sa awayan ng mag-asawa laging ang talo eh anak, emotional trauma at may financial aspect kung may iba pang naging pamilya o anak. 

[Jihan_Sr]

Hindi ako ang involve at hindi din asawa ko. Hindi ko lang kinakaya ang mga nakikita ko sa office/call center namin. Sobrang ang kabitan na tipong both parties eh pamilyadong tao Nakakalungkot Lang isipin, naaawa Lang ako sa mga anak nila.

Me too, i work in a call center. kaliwat kanan, hindi lang sa may asawa, maski sa may boyfriend o girlfriend. sila pa galit pag nagbibigay ka lang ng advise. tsk tsk.

[czinita]

I'm a lawyer.

Under the law on succession, an illegitimate child will only get 1/2 the share of one legitimate child. Kahit gaano pa karami ang legitimate children at kahit isa o dalawa lang illegitimate, it will never happen that one illegitimate child will get more than one legitimate child (unless there is a will giving the illegitimate children more and the legitimes of the legitimate children are fully satisfied). You always compute first the share of one legitimate child, then halve it to get the share of one illegitimate child.

The share (legitime) of the illegitimate children will be taken from the free portion (one half of the estate of the deceased), but still, the share of one illegitimate child will only be 1/2 the share of the legitimate child. The rest of the free portion may be willed away, or divided among the compulsory heirs (legitimate and illegitimate children and the legal spouse) taking into consideration the fact that the share of one illegitimate child should be just 1/2 the share of the legitimate child.

So if there are 6 legitimate children, one legal spouse and 2 illegitimate children, the legitimate children and the spouse will get 1/8 each of the estate of the deceased, while the two illegitimate children will get 1/16 each. (Art. 983 in relation to Art. 895, 999 of the Civil Code and 176 of the Family Code). 

When we refer to the estate of the deceased, we mean half of the conjugal/community property, since one-half is owned by the legal spouse. The spouse will get his/her 1/2 share of the conjugal property, in addition to what he/she gets from the estate of the deceased as inheritance.



If there is no prenup agreement and the property was acquired during the marriage, the property is considered as conjugal property (if married before August 1988) / absolute community of property (if married after August 1988). Same treatment - still owned by both husband and wife.

[mamichula]

Xactly! Its understandable. People might say its not the illegit child's fault but still mahirap un and masakit for the legal wife's kids. Especially if they saw their mom suffer. The pain stays with 'em for a very very long time. I have a friend who experienced this. The father left them for another woman when he was still 8 or 7 but my gosh he's 30 now and the image of his mom crying at night while listening to sad spanish love songs , it's very vivid pa din. And the pain is still there eventhough it happened decades ago and he was a just a kid back then.

Atleast you've learned to forgive your father @mamaphew, it's nice to let go of the pain din, my friend kasi upto now ayaw nya kausapin his father maybe because the dad really left them to fend for themselves. The father's trying to patch things up with them but he doesn't want to see his dad.Can't blame him I guess he was deeply hurt. And the illegit kids are trying to reach out to him, pero galit na galit sya. He doesn't want to see them din daw.

I dunno lang how they're dividing their assets now. But I can assume WW3 yun. Maybe feeling ng legit kids sa dami ng sama ng loob nila wala na dapat ang illegits na mana? Or kahit anung divide ng assets para pantay lahat feeling nila lugi pa din because of the emotional trauma? The whole ordeal must've been very painful that's why the reaction's understandable.

Post modified. Please refrain from quoting long posts.

[Msfi]

^^thanks for the clarification, now we know lesser pa pala ang share ng illegit na anak.  Kawawa naman sila, wala silang fault pero sila nag suffer sa kasalanan ng magulang nila

[jenybasti]

di ako masyadong makarelate kasi  hindi naman kami kasal tsaka wala din naman pag aari yung asawa kong nasa abroad na may kabit...

[ayami]

OMG! Relate na relate ako sayo, sis. Nung mag syota kami ni hubby, may ganyang episode din! Kesyo suicide epek pa ang mokong. Up to the point na nabuntis nya na ko at magpapakasal na kami, humirit pa sya sa flirt flirt na ganyan. 2 years and a half na kaming kasal pero palagi kong pinapamukha sa kanya yon. minsan parang reverse psychology nga atake ko sa kanya. ang father nya kasi nambabae at nagkaanak din sa iba pero si MIL ko super bait pinagaral at inalagaan pa si .5 sister nila. good relationship naman sila sa fam, at may constant communication pa nga si MIL at kabit ni [textspeak!] about my half-SIL's welfare. matagal naman na yon kasi and kay MIL lumaki yung half SIL ko. di ko ata keri ang ganong style na ginawa ng MIL ko. sabi nga nya sakin kanina (ni hubby) "sa kakaulit mo sakin ng ginawa ko at kakapanguna mo na magccheat ako, baka gawin ko nga". sabi ko naman "go lang, pineprep ko na ang sarili ko sa posibleng mangyari, ready na ko financially". haha pero somehow mahhurt naman din ako ng bongga pag nagkataon!

Post modified. Please refrain from quoting long posts.

[happyfemme]

I have to quote a friend of mine about the "hatian issue" amongst legitimate and illegitimate children.

"May it be 1/4, 1/2, or whatever percent ang makukuha nila (illegitimate), it bothers me and my siblings. When Papa was sick, it was Mama who's been taking care of the family business. When Papa was not around kasi nandoon siya sa kabit niya, si Mama ang halos kumayod para palaguin ang muntik nang bumagsak na negosyo nila ni Papa dahil sa kapabayaan ni Papa."

"All Papa and Mama have is a joint acoount, walang tinatawag na "pera ni Papa" or "pera ni Mama". So when namatay si Papa, naghabol ang kabit using the illegitimate child. Nakakuha sila ng share sa perang pinaghirapan na Nanay ko."

"I dont want to sound selfish pero nakasira na nga sila (kabit) ng pamilya eh naka-commisyon pa sila sa ginawa nila. Till the end para silang mga multo that will haunt you. Siyempre on our part, the more na nagpapakita at nagpaparamdam sila, the more na naaalala ni Mama ang mga ginagawa ng Papa ko."

She was teary-eyed, staring blankly lang pero makikita mong may pain. Ako naman, "na-tameme" hindi ko alam sasabihin. But i really do feel for her. Sa thirty-ish na ang friend ko pero kung ikwento niya ang nangyari parang fresh na fresh pa sa utak niya.

maganda yung strategy ni sis mamapeew na ipangalan na kung pwede ang ibang properties sa name ng mother to protect what is for the legits.

@sisayami - true! yung confide confide epek na yan ay red flag! hahaha. Marami akong kilala na nagsimula sa ganyan.

[mamichula]

^^thanks for the clarification, now we know lesser pa pala ang share ng illegit na anak.  Kawawa naman sila, wala silang fault pero sila nag suffer sa kasalanan ng magulang nila

Although I would have to agree with you that it's not their fault since they did not choose to be born into that situation, nga naman hindi naman nila ginusto na maipanganak sa ganung set up db? And I'm sure naguguluhan din sila madalas and with all the criticism I bet they didn't have it easy growing up. They've experienced emotional trauma too.

 But I'd have to say if the illegit kid is mature enough, he/she should realize the pain that his/her mother has caused another family maybe s/he can stay away nalang or choose not to ask for the share lalo na kung alam nyang ang nagtrabaho to earn the properties eh the legal wife.

Pero kung bata pa the illegit child and syempre ang mommy ang may gustong maghabol ng mana may magagawa ba sya? Isasaksak ng mommy nya sa utak nya na its rightfully his etc etc.

Pero sana kung matured na the illegit child delicadeza nalang ang pairalin. Kung alam ko namang nakasakit ang mommy ko ng ibang tao makikihabol pa bako sa mana nila? Unless kailangang kailangan ko talaga ng pera because my mommy didn't lift a finger to provide us illegit kids [textspeak!] nga un ang rason nila.

Then again hindi naman ako anak sa labas so I wouldn't know their reasons. Baka they have valid concerns. Baka they have a way of looking at things kaya they feel kawawa and unjustifiable ang galit ng legal kids sa kanila. Who knows?

@ sis happyfemme

How sad  That must've been very painful for your friend. I'll see na naloko na ang mommy ko tapos hihingian pa yung pinaghirapan nya sobra naman 

@ nursingsexymom

ganyan naman normally naguumpisa eh sa pa confide confide haha Tapos the girl would be all loving and supportive lalo na kung may HD and everytime magkaka prob sila na maguusap..Sarap paguntugin hehe Kaya even if its harsh pero bawal ang female bestfriend sa husband ko indi ako naniniwala sa ganun haha He can have a bazillion guy friends pero best friend na girl ayoko. May sasabihin sya? May sama sya ng loob? Eh di ako kausapin nya im all ears! hehe