kabit, kabit at puro na lang kabit (thread 2)

[momentum]

^ that's what I call a kabit's karma..marami pang darating sa kanya sigurado...nakasira siya ng pamilya eh

[Dhee-Dhee]

^^triple ang balik sa kanya, sis! 

@nursingsexymom: kaloka kwento mo sis. buti hindi ka nagdalawang isip na pakasalan yung hubby mo..

[happyfemme]

Totoo yan, walang maidudulot na maganda ang pangangabit.

Sabi nga ng mga matatanda, kapag nag start mag engage ng pangangabit mamalasin ka. From work, negosyo, buhay mo masisira, etc.

Ewan ko ba kung bakit hindi takot sa karma ang mga kabit, akala nila "untouchable" sila sa karma.

[kikay9599]

Digital na din karma ngayon kaya dapat mangilag na mga kabit at may balak mangabit!!

[snowflakes]

sa totoo lang wala pa ko kabit na kilala na nakarma na. marami kase kong kilalang kabit and i know masaya pa rin sila now at pinagpapala.

[nursingsexymom]

^^triple ang balik sa kanya, sis! 

@nursingsexymom: kaloka kwento mo sis. buti hindi ka nagdalawang isip na pakasalan yung hubby mo..

sis @dhee-dhee.. he had 3 years to show me na nagsisisi sya. ang tagal bago ko sia pinakasalan, kasi nga ang hirap maka move on. hanggang ngayon nga nisstalk ko ang fb ng girl. hahaha!

[fusacat]

mga  sisses .ano gagawin nyo kung [textspeak!] kabit pa ang nanakot   na  mag papapulis dw sya.parang lumlabas na [textspeak!] tunay na asawa pa ang naninira.?

[rianne_mallows]

If I may say po. Karma kase is such a strong word na hindi dapat tayo ang nagju judge sa wrong doings nila. kaya nga my Diyos db? there are instances kase na my reason why my mga kabit though not in general.

kaya most people leave it to KARMA kasi nga may DIYOS na huhusga sa kanila   ..

kung nagkaletche letche man buhay ng mga kabits, balato niyo na sa mga LEGAL na matuwa sa sinapit nila... tao lang naman din mga wifeys..  

minsan kase sa tingin ng iba nanira sya ng family but in truth matagal ng sira sumingaw na lang nung my nainvolve ng ibang tao right?

the moment the KABIT eh nakisawsaw sa relasyon, tuluyan niya na SINISIRA yung relasyon... why sinisira? sabi mo nga, MAY SIRA... MAY PROBLEMA yung mag-asawa.. tapos may makikisawsaw? paano nila maayos yung SIRA na yun kung may eextrang HOMEWRECKER?

My mga nangyayari lang talaga sa buhay na mahirap ipaliwanag then sabi nga you will not fully understand unless you cross the same bridge so I guess time can tell if tama o mali ba ang nangyari. siguro it takes maturity in all aspect to accept.


i understand that people cannot choose who they'll fall inlove with.. but one can definitely choose how to ACT on it..  IMO, neither TIME nor REASONS can TELL and CORRECT MISTAKES... it's  the ACTION that determines everything..

yang snatcher sa kalye, hold-upper, MAGNANAKAW,  kidnapper, who do WRONG things for money kasi nagugutom pamilya, pampagamot ng anak.. etc, does their reasons make the things they do LESS WRONG?? well, is there even a thing called LESS WRONG??  i would really like to hear MATURE PEOPLE's take on this

yeah right, maturity, and PERSONAL EXPERIENCE can definitely help one UNDERSTAND a kabit's standpoint... but it doesn't change the fact that the action/decision was WRONG


It happened not because of nilandi or what maybe they fell in love wrong time nga lang. Im speaking of those na na inlove ha hindi yung for the sake na LiB*g lang...

regardless of the reason, philandering is PHILANDERING... people should not sugarcoat things like this..

[maiandra]

sorry medyo OT...just watched annalyn's interview sa the buzz and nakakaiyak din. Whoever is at fault Im sure they deserve an explanation or even his presence at their daughter's graduation.

Sad lang. For me nothing would justify breaking a promise you made at the altar in front of God and everyone you love. Kung wala na sacred about marriage, then ano na lang natira?

[happyfemme]

Hi sis najine, ok lang if I will react sa opinions mo?

Karma kase is such a strong word na hindi dapat tayo ang nagju judge sa wrong doings nila.

*** Karma is something that happened because of your actions, it’s the total effect of one’s person action or conduct that may lead to your destiny. So in short ACTION=REACTION, so a “bad action” (i.e. pangangabit)  will lead to a bad reaction”.
Hindi kami ang gumagawa ng karma, ang kabit ang gumagawa ng karma nila.

kaya nga my Diyos db?

*** Then why commit adulterous acts? Pinagbabawal sa 10 commandements yan di ba?

there are instances kase na my reason why my mga kabit though not in general. minsan kase sa tingin ng iba nanira sya ng family but in truth matagal ng sira sumingaw na lang nung my nainvolve ng ibang tao right?

*** Back read ka sis, you can go all the way back from thread 1. Or kahit na huwag ka na magpakalayo, take sis lilzean18’s case. Matagal na bang sira ang family niya kaya nagkainterest ang hubby niya I-entertain pa ang ex niya? Hindi naman diba?

Gasgas na ang kasabihang ito pero uulitin ko “normal sa isang mag-asawa ang may problema”. Alam ko na alam ng mga sisses natin ang kasabihan na ito, that’s why they’re giving their husbands a “second chance” to work things out. Lahat ng nasisira inaayos ng mga wives just to preserve their family. Pero paano aayusin ng dalawang mag-asawa ang problema kung may “sumasawsaw” (im using sis rhianne_mallows term), or somebody who is taking advantage of a relationship who is undergoing a trial time?

you will not fully understand unless you cross the same bridge so I guess time can tell if tama o mali ba ang nangyari.

*** Sis, hindi tatagal itong thread na ito if all of the wives here haven’t crossed the bridge.

so I guess time can tell if tama o mali ba ang nangyari.

*** We don’t need time to know if ang “pangangabit” is tama or mali. Sinabihan ka na na “huwag mong hawakan ang apoy, nakakapaso”, hahawakan mo pa ba para malaman mo na totoo ang sinabi sa iyo? Or sa bote ng muriatic acid naka sulat sa bote “poisonous”, iinumin mo pa ba para malaman mo na nakakalason?


It happened not because of nilandi or what maybe they fell in love wrong time nga lang.

*** Ikaw na mismo nagsabi sis “maybe they fell inlove WRONG time nga lang. Yun naman pala eh, wrong timing so if your intentions is hindi manakit ng kapwa mo babae then make it a RIGHT TIMING. Hintaying mong ma-annul si lalake kung ayaw na talaga niya kay babae.

Malay mo, baka maging BFF pa niya ang ex-wife ni lalake at bigyan pa siya ng blessing.

[lisse]

Para sa akin, from a pov ng isang may-asawa simple Lang yan eh. Mali ang pangangabit. And one should not justify a Mali. We're grown ups, we have our own minds. Itama ang pagkakamali, and wait for the right time when it's no longer Mali to be in a relationship with that person. Easier said than done, I know. But then, kelan ba naging madali ang buhay? And who said pag nag-short-cut ka e you'll have it any easier? Dun na Lang tayo sa tama as much as we can. I think it's better to take it according to the dictates of our conscience. IMO Lang naman.

[Dhee-Dhee]

@nursingsexymom: i see.. atleast sis nakita mo na he was willing to make up for his mistakes. wag lang uulitin. pag stalk sa FB? ginagawa ko rin yan sis sa ex ni hubby ko.  good thing walang feature ang FB na makikita kung sino nag view sa profile, haha!

@lilzean: nakakainis no.. lahat ginagawa mo na pero nagagawa ka pa rin lokohin. let's hope na hindi na niya ulitin sis ang pagkakamali nya. hay, mga lalake talaga.. huli na, ayaw pang umamin. 

[happyfemme]

Hi sis najine, mauuna na akong mag react sa reply mo. Sa dulo muna ako mag sisimula.

in the end sino ba ang mas apektado? ang asawa o ang anak?

*** Ang PAMILYA ang naaapektohan sa sitwasyon ng pangangabit, hindi pwedeng isang miyembro lang ng pamilya (whether asawa man yan o anak). The whole foundation of the family its self is broken once dishonesty penetrates the family system.

you will not fully understand unless you cross the same bridge as the kabit

*** I don’t think sis that we have to cross the same bridge as the kabit just to know lang na mali ang pangangabit.

Im speaking for myself as a daughter who had his parents separated because of the “Other Woman” on such a young age of 6. Yes, mas masakit

*** My niece's parents separated at an early age of 1 (actually barely 1). During my niece’s birthday party nandoon mismo ang kabit at umattend sa party ininvite ni lalake. While the mom is making a birthday speech for her daughter, nagnginginig sa lungkot ang boses niya, pinipigilan lang ang iyak. I feel for her, ramdam mo yung sakit ng ina na wala siyang maggawa to make her family re-united again kasi lagi kasama ng kabit si lalake.

Ako ang nagaalaga sa pamangkin ko during depress ang mom niya, hindi ko alam kung anong uunahin ko kung ang anak ba  na nagtataka kung bakit hindi na niya nakikita ang tatay niya or ang mommy niya na nagiisip kung saan siya nagkulang bilang asawa?

Witnessing the pain of a family because of a kabit is eating you inside, kasi wala kang magawa (except to extend comfort). Kasi only the husband and the wife can make their family work. Even sa thread na ito, we only give advices, suggestions, words to comfort the wife. But as soon as she’ll log herself out of her computer, it is the wife alone who will find means and ways to reach out to her husaband.

I personally detest KABIT before coz for me sila ang my kasalanan why I grew up w/o a father & a mother eventually but when my parents explained to me what really happened & how they end up loving other people kahit mahirap I learned to accept the situation. masalimuot ang kwento kaya I wont go to details anymore.

*** Buti ka pa sis your mom and dad mutually agreed to explain to you why they have to depart in separate ways. Sana may makuha rin siyang sagot gaya mo kapag malaki na siya.

[rianne_mallows]

Anyway, Anyone is free to comment on my post if you think its intolerable.  Im just stating my opinion po. This thread naman is for sharing of thoughts & opinions right?
...

we dont know why they did it. like us my sariling reason din sila di po ba sis rianne? I would love to defend my post further as I think na misunderstood sya but doesn’t really matter as I already said what I want to say.  Im not hee to debate kase its not something we win or lose. its the lesson we learned through.

Again, don’t take my opinion against me as Im just stating it. Thanks much sis rianne and sis happy for sharing yours.  I know the feeling of being an orphan but not as a wife na naagawan ng asawa. different level of pain. different kind of effect but in the end sino ba ang mas apektado? ang asawa o ang anak? yun lang po.

i too was just sharing my POV on this topic..  i totally agree that this thread is open for all kinds of opinion.. people post here to express their own, and more importantly, to DISCUSS the topic.. do i think of this as a debate na kailangan may manalo? of course not...  expect people to comment not because they are against YOU, but for all of us to learn from the DISCUSSION.

it's also the same reason why i quoted you, para mas madali for readers to understand ano na ba nangyayari sa discussion.  do i think your post is intolerable? of course not, otherwise i would have hit the "repot to moderator" button.. i just find it "interesting"

OT but just to clarify, hindi po ako kabit, hindi din ako anak ng kabit, o may magulang na nangangabit o nangabit, at wala din kabit asawa ko


*****Lahat naman tayo my fair share of kasalanan eh. ........... Di ba lahat po ng tinutulungan ng Diyos yung makasalanan? Kahit anong klaseng SIN po yan basta na commit walang level level po yan.


i totally agree.. God is forgiving to those who seek forgiveness.. to those who REPENT.. walang level level ng severity.. He will forgive anyone who humbly asks for forgiveness.. kahit nakapatay pa yan, serial rapist, kabit etc,  HOWEVER... i personally believe that asking for forgiveness comes with the WILL, and the PROMISE to correct one's wrong doings, and the effort no to make the same mistake again with the help of God Almighty

kung nakapatay ka, sumuko ka at pagdusahan yung kasalanan mo, kung nagnakaw ka, isoli mo yung gamit or money, kung kabit ka, layuan mo yung kinakabitan mo..  ngayon kung matagal na nangyari, the least you could do is to try not to do the sin again


you will not fully understand unless you cross the same bridge as the kabit. we dont know why they did it. like us my sariling reason din sila di po ba sis rianne?

definitely, hindi ko sila maiintindihan... wala din ako plan maging kabit just to try to understand why they to horrible things..    if you think about it, ano naman mapapala natin kung maintindihan man natin sila? may magbabago ba?

ok given na, just for the sake of this discussion, that everyone here understood what they are going through.. why they did it and all  that ..  is the ACT considered CORRECT already? na wala ng masama at hindi na mali kasi naiintindihan na? ganun ba yun? the fact still remains that adultery is a sin

[sleeping_beauty]

ang di ko kasi maintindihan is why some people try to justify yung pagiging kabit just because there's an existing "failed marriage" or a marriage just about to fail at di sila ang main reason sa breakdown ng marriage.

alam naman natin na may legal separation, annulment or divorce procedures. so bakit kailangan maging kabit kung pwede naman ayusin muna yung previous marriage. kahit pa hindi yung kabit ang main reason sa breakdown ng marriage, we cant deny the fact that the kabit plays a big factor para totally masira yung pamilya.

kung may mababait na kabit or may legitimate kabit, sana wag na lang maging kabit at all. lumayo sa married people, iwasan makipag relasyon sa kanila. ngayon kung separated na, like divorced guys wala ng malisya makipag relasyon sa kanila diba?

[fusacat]

hello sa lahat mga sisses.sarap talga mag basa ng thread nato.tanong ko lang.ano ba kiniclick para ma pm mo [textspeak!] gusto mo makausap.sana may makasagot.
at salamat sa thread na to.[textspeak!] marami pala akong kakampi.

[nursingsexymom]

@nursingsexymom: i see.. atleast sis nakita mo na he was willing to make up for his mistakes. wag lang uulitin. pag stalk sa FB? ginagawa ko rin yan sis sa ex ni hubby ko.  good thing walang feature ang FB na makikita kung sino nag view sa profile, haha!

haha tama ka sis, hindi kgaya ng friendster dati, traceable!

[fusacat]

haha tama ka sis, hindi kgaya ng friendster dati, traceable!

ako din nga sis.nahuhuli ko din sa fb.my mga ginagawa silng mga ibang accnt.eh ma  imbestiga rin ako eh.kala nila d ko sila mahuhuli.ipon lang ako evidence talaga.lagot sila sakin.

[yndy]

I agree with sis sleeping_beauty. The other woman actually plays a BIG ROLE sa tuluyang pagkasira ng pamilya. Hindi perfect ang married and family life. Hindi din healthy sa isang relasyon ang walang arguements. At one point may misunderstandings talaga kasi the couple are two different individuals.

I have seen failed marriages. Marriages na naayos at marriages na tulyang nasira because of other woman at kasama na din ang marriage na nauwi sa hiwalayan now meron na kanya-kanyang family.

Andun na tayo sa matagal nang sira and pagsasama ng mag-asawa. I saw that sa cousin ni hubby. Yung wife ang cousin niya. Sobra sa higpit yun sa ex-hubby niya pati pagsama sa mga cousin niya which is my hubby and her brothers eh kinakagalit nun. Ending nila naghiwalay sila. Sumama si ex-hubby niya sa ibang babae na kasama niya sa work. Nung kinonfront nila hubby yung girl ang sagot sa kanila ay... "matagal nang sira ang pagsasama nila bago pa ako dumating" in verbatim yan mga sis kasi hindi ko makalimutan yan nung ikinuwento sa akin ni hubby yung nangyari.

Pero ang sabi nung kuya nila hubby ay eto... " Hindi pa sira ang pagsasama nila kasi umuuwi pa din siya sa asawa niya. May lamat oo. May problema oo. PERO naayos nila ito. Bakit ko nasabi yun? Kasi magkakasama kami sa iisang bahay. yada yada yada at ang pang finale na sinabi ng kuya ay... tuluyan lang nasira nun sumama si ___ sa'yo. " Ang ending isang matinding sampal sa older pinsan nila hubby sabay talikod daw si kabit.

Parang teleserye no mga sis? Pero ayun nga ang nangyari after the confrontation. Meron sila 2 na anak kung sa sino ang mas naapektuhan? I'd say BOTH. Hindi mo kasi pwedeng sabihin na mas naapektuhan and kids kasi they didn't know or mas naapektuhan and wife kasi siyempre asawa niya yung nawala sa kanya. As a wife who went through with this (buti na lang wala pa kami anak ni hubby nun nangyari eto) nakakabaliw sobra. People didn't know what's happening kaya todo bantay ang fmaily ko sa akin noon kasi I try to act ok when they're around pero pag ako na lang ay jusko! Mababaliw talaga ako. Nagkaron din kami ng issues ni hubby re other woman pero that's all under the bridge now. 

Sorry napahaba...

[fusacat]

tama lahat yan yndy.sobrang masakit para sa asawa.pero sa anak d  pa  masyado.sa sitwasyon ko.ang hirap.minsan gusto ko  narin sabihin sa mga anak ang totoo.nag dadalawang isip lang ako.