Ayaw pa ko pagasawahin ng mother ko :(

[babyhoney]

Ok here's my story..

im already 29 years old..9 years na din kami ni h2b..last year pa lang nagpapahapyaw na ko sa mother ko na baka a year or two magpapakasal na kami and napansin ko na simula ng sinabi ko yun sa mother ko, mejo naging masungit na sya kay h2b, kahit wala naman ginagawang masama si h2b, nagugulat lang ako kasi eversince pinakilala ko sya as bf sa family ko super close na talaga agad sila..im the oldest saming 3 puro kami girls and separated and mother ko sa father ko and wala kaming balita sa father namin..tapos last week lang nagpropose na si bf sakin pero di ko masabi sabi sa nanay ko kasi i know what will reaction might be pero after a week sinabi ko sa mother ko na engage na nga kami and as usual di maganda ang nakuha kong reaction and she even said na di daw sya aatend sa kasal ko..hay that night mega cry ako kaya pagpasok ko sa office kinabukasan namamaga pa eyes ko..di ko sinabi kay h2b na ganun reaction nya, i jst said na ok naman daw mama atoko sabihin kasi ayoko pati si h2b sumama looba sa mother ko eh super sweet kaya ng dalawa na yun dati, parang sya pa nga ang anak eh...

were planning na to get married on june sa ayaw man at sa gusto nya...

[moonie]

Make your plans.  Keep your mom in the loop.  Sooner or later, she'll accept the inevitable.

[azel]

^^kaloka si mother hehe
anyway, how old na ba sis yun sisters mo? sino ba ang nagsu-support sa family nyo? ikaw ba?
if ikaw, baka worried si mother na wala na susupport sa kanila if you get married..

kung hindi naman, phase lang siguro yan ng mga mothers na ayaw mawalay sa kanila ang anak. baka feeling ni mother mawawala ka sa kanya pag married ka na. better siguro if you 2 talk about it, ask her kung bakit ayaw nya. maybe she just needs to be assured that you'll still be there for her & your sisters kahit married ka na. that you'll still be her baby/princess.

[babyhoney]

@ sis moonie - parang ayaw ko nga pagusapan sa harap nya yung wedding preps ko kasi kontra ng kontra

@ azel - kaloka talaga sis, to answer your questions, lahat kami ng mga sis ko may work na so lahat naman kami nagaabot sa kanya kapag payday namin..i think tama ka baka takot lang sya maiwan, [textspeak!] dalawang sisters ko ages 27 and 25 kaya anytime aoon may susunod na sigurong magasawa hehe pero i assure her naman na di ko pa din sya papabayaan kahit may sarili na kong family but still bad reaction pa din sya

[azel]

^baka nagpapasuyo lang, hehe
ano kaya sabihin mo don kayo sa kanya titira? haha joke lang. ayaw pa din kaya nya? baka gusto nya sa kanya ka pa din nakatira 

[inluvewithmikewesten]

Eventually matatanggap din niya yan.

[babyhoney]

^baka nagpapasuyo lang, hehe
ano kaya sabihin mo don kayo sa kanya titira? haha joke lang. ayaw pa din kaya nya? baka gusto nya sa kanya ka pa din nakatira 

ayaw din naman nya sis tsaka for sure ayaw din ni hubby to be, pero sabi kay bf if mapreggy ako at manganak eh dun muna kami sa house namin kasi para naman may magalaga samin kasi may small business parents niya and lagi bantay dun, agree naman si bf...pero di ko pa sinasabi kay mpther na ganun balak namin

Eventually matatanggap din niya yan.

hope so sis... thanks

[freelancer_babe]

Aw kawawa ka naman.

But your mom has to accept that you have grown up and had made your choice. She has to respect your decision whether she approves of your marriage or not.

Also, it's NOT a good idea to live with your mom. Bumukod kayo, even if you get pregnant. Get a yaya or a trusted kamag-anak. Panindigan ninyo ang decision to marry and raise a family - or else your mom would insist that she is right all along (even if you are already in the right age).

Yung relationship mo ng hubby mo with your mom would just get worse. It's not healthy at baka yan pa ang maging strain sa relationship nyo - at paunti-unti kayong kakainin ng problema na yan. Pwede nyang i-accept ang kid mo, but not your hubby-to-be.

But if things are starting to be okay, then pwede na, you could move in to your mom's so she could look after your kids. Syempre do your share in her house, like paying all the bills, food, part of the monthly rent or monthly amortizations sa loans ng house. You're adults and not dependent kids anymore.

[kaice]

we have a similar story though di mom ko but mom ni hubby. we were 10 years together nung unang nagsabi si hubby sa parents nya and he got a not-so-good set of answers. saan kukuha ng pera, etc, etc. we put wedding plans on hold and the following year he told them again our plans. this time he told them we have savings. we continued preparing even if we know that they do not 100% agree. hubby is the youngest among 3 siblings, none of his siblings are married yet, we were 29 by the time we got married.

like you, i used to be close to his family but i can feel the distance created since the first time hubby told them our plans. nag iba talaga and admittedly partly due to me siguro kasi nailang ako na sumama sa family events knowing na part of them doesn't want me to be part of their family. until now that we are married, i can't fully restore the old relationship.

my advice:
clear things what makes your mother disapprove your wedding plans? most of the time it is FINANCIAL. if you give monthly share in expenses, it will soon be gone if you get married. if you help in raising your siblings, etc.

next is SECURITY issues especially if you will be living far from them. some parents want their children close to them.

wedding preps will not be easy as you will still want them to be involved. be prepared of the worst i guess, find support system from your fiance. tell him what is the real score and discuss things. COMMUNICATION is the key.

happy preps!

[babyhoney]

sis freelancer_babe - ok naman relationship ni fiance and mother before.. as ive said dati super close sila and parang sya pa ang anak kesa sakin, now mejo nabawasan lang... but still ok pa naman pero ewan iba talaga... i assure her naman na magsusupport pa din ako financially and still give the financial obligation which is the house that we bought for her magbibigay pa din ako...

sis kaice - mas mahirap pala sayo pero i admire you kasi nalagpasan nyo, sana ako din... hindi ko madiscuss in front of her my wedding plans kasi lagi nakaangil.. how i wish masaya kaming nagdidiscuss nun para naman medyo makabawas ng stress pero hindi...hay just hoping na lang na one day sana it will turn out right for me.

thanks sa mga advices sisses 

[kaice]

kaya mo yan sis!

GT is a very good support group I must say.  PM me if you need help in wed preps nakamiss kasi yan eh

[freelancer_babe]

@babyhoney,

Seems like a security issue then like @kaice said? Kasi you were both able to buy your mom a house.

The reason why your mom disapproves your marriage wasn't specified.

But I hope all things would turn out to be better in the long run. Don't let that ruin your marriage. I know some who do.

[babyhoney]

sis kaice - sige ill pm you kasi mejo tight ang budget..qc based kami, teha OOT ma tayo hehe thanks sis..

@ sis freelancer_babe - neither do i know whats her reason of disapproving my marriage eh hindi naman na ko teenager or hindi din naman dahil hindi siya boto kay fiance..i have totally no idea...hay..thanks..

[kaice]

babyhoney - better talk siguro. if pwede sama mo sa conversation yung sisters mo and father. kasi eventually, they will experience the same problem pag nagkataon. ask her kung bakit, then try to compromise, yung realistic lang ha... then engage her in the preps baka kasi na-left out sya when you started making plans for your own life. SEPARATION ANXIETY lang siguro yan. hopefully eh malagpasan nyo na ang phase na yan promise to give her cute grandchildren soon na lang 

[babyhoney]

actually sis kaice ginawa ko na yan we sit and talk lasama sis ko and wala si father sa life namin separated kasi sila hehe..and napagusapan yung set ng financial and medyo hirap niya kausap nakakainis kahit sister ko naiinis na din sa kanya..pati nga aso ko pinuproblema nya kapag tumira na ko kina fiance, lam mo yun?

regarding wedding preps ayaw ko nga pagusapan sa harap nya kasi alam mo yung feeling na against siya tapos hay basta lagi may side comment kaya ayaw ko na lang...

[HushaKitty23]

Nagpapalambing lang c Mommy! Sabi mo nga separated sya sa father nyo at kayo kayo [textspeak!] magkakapatid ang magkakasama. Halos sa inyo 3 magkakapatid umikot ang mundo ni mommy maybe shes worried n kpag nag asawa kna mawawalan kna ng time sa kanya gaya ng dati.
Kausapin mo lang sya ng kausapin.. Matatanggap din nya yan for sure esp kapag nag ka baby na kayo ni h2b.

[aNgelofThEMorning]

parang madir ko lang  12yrs kami ni ex, pag na pag-uusapan tungkol sa kasal, indirectly, like binanggit ng mga bisita nung birthday ko bat hinde pa ko kasal, naku sisimangot yun. kukulitin ako ng father ko kailan kami papakasal papagalitan nya father ko bat daw ako pinagmamadali. and never napag-usapan tungkol sa pag-aasawa ko kahit 30 yrs old na ko. feeling ko nga expected nya hinde na ko mag-aasawa. now, i have a new bf, hinde ko alam pano ko magpapa-alam pag dumating na yung time, si ex nga 12yrs kami ayaw pa nya eh eto pa kayang bago. btw sis, super close sila ng mother ko before. until now, hinde ko pa rin ma-gets bat parang ayaw nya kong makasal.

[babyhoney]

^ bakitba sila ganyan? were not getting any younger na din naman ilang years na lang expired ba matres natin..as i always sa mga friends and relatives ko as pambiro, kaya sana maintindihan naman nila yun and besides dumaan sila sa stage na ganyan dapat nga they will be the first who will understand us

[prettykhae]

to sis TS-mga nanay talaga ganyan... lalo kapag babaeng anak magpapaalam na kakasal na... hindi naman siguro sa ayaw nila tayo maging masaya, kundi takot lang sila na magkakaroon na tayo ibang pamilya... baka maagaw ng new family natin attention natin na dapat sa nanay lang natin.may bago na tayong NANAY... mga ganung pag-iisip. talk to her sis TS.

[babyhoney]

^ tama ka sis ayaw ko pa lang kasi siya kausapin ng heart to heart eh...pero someday hehe thanks..dont know what to do to her na..