have you ever secretly LOVED someone?

[ycel0612]

Like pa lang naman.

He's like my dream guy kasi. Lahat ng gusto ko sa guy nasa kanya. Plus nakakatawa pa, yung mga rules ko na wag magkaka gusto sa ka work, sa mas matanda saken at sa isang  married guy.. Lahat na break nya.

Idk kung secret pa nga ba since lately iniiwasan na nya ako. Baka nakahalata na na attracted ako sa kanya.

[piatos]

yes, i like someone but i kept my distance from him coz he's way out of my league.. he is intelligent and handsome and i'm just an average person.

[redsh0es]

share ko lang yung teenage life ko bilang may asawa na ako ngayon hihi
from grade 3 to 2nd year college I liked a guy. nung grade 3 ako syempre hindi ko alam yung love, crush, infatuation, etc. basta pag nakikita ko siya, nagsusuklay ako lol. hindi ko parin alam yung word na kilig and how it feels. nalaman ko nalang lahat yun nung grade 6 ako. schoolmate ko siya and 4 years older than me. nung natutunan ko yung meaning ng crush, tingin ko hindi yun yung perfect definition ng feelings ko sa kanya, grabe love ko na siya talaga nun. well kasi naman i think he felt the same way for me. para siyang stalker ko, laging may note sa room ko galing sa kanya. pero hanggang dun lang. magka village din kami kaya hanggang college ako nakikita ko siya. until grabe nalaman ko may nabuntis siya ouch! halos gumuho mundo ko hindi ako kumakain kakaisip sa kanya. partida wala kaming communication at all ha. puro tingin lang from afar. natatawa ako pag naiisip ko pero siya talaga ang first love ko :p

[Evolet027]

Yes, but we are both married na.

[anapatootiee]

Well I secretly loved someone and it's really bizarre because we never really had a decent conversation though I love talking to him but all he did was to just smile or laugh, and I feel like it's the best feeling in the world, like he has some feelings for me. And then, I started thinking that the way he looks at me is different, the way he stared at me while eating that huge burger made me feel that he loves the way I act and the way he would stop from talking to someone just because he saw me made me think that my mere presence actually distracted him from talking. Masyadong umasa si ate girl kasi prof ko nga pala sya. At palagi ko syang stino-stalk. Marami ring nagkakagusto sa kanya, gwapo eh. Plus, magaling magturo, maganda boses and cum laude nung college pa sya, according sa pangsstalk ko sa kanya na palagi kong ginagawa. According din sa stalking skills ko, naging engaged na sya dati pero di natuloy kaya heartbroken sya. Then nagkacrush sya sa student nya sa review center na tinuturuan nya (review center sya kaya di pedo) and parang crush pa rin yata nya nung student pa nya ako. Habang tina-type ko to medyo natatawa ako sa sarili kasi I really believed that our love story could turn into something real when it is really impossible for him to even think of me. I really don't know if I loved him but I loved the way I felt when I was that umaasa girl. My friends know that I have a crush on him but another friend of ours also like him and they support her more that's why on the last day they pushed her to take a picture with him and I was heartbroken because they actually look good together. Until now, I'm still regretting the fact that I never had a picture with him and still here I am, still stuck with the routine of stalking his social media accounts everyday. Btw, he never got together with my friend because she has a boyfriend and she just likes him like.. happy crush. And just earlier, I was daydreaming about him then stalked him then found out that he still loves his ex-fiance.

And now I'm on the road to moving on once again but also wanting to have that feeling again, of being smitten to someone, especially if it's someone like him.

Ako kasi yung umaasang hindi naman pinaasa. Pwede ring pinaasa yung sarili.

[IamMarieLove]

Well Yes. HS pa ako noon. Kung si sis anapatootie is the girl na umaasang hindi naman pinaasa, ako naman si girl na umaasa dahil pinaasa. Well that was way back then and happy na siya now. Nadala na ako sa one sided love or secret love kaya ngayon ayoko ng ako lang yong may feelings. Mas gusto ko now ma reciprocate yong feelings ko naman.

[anapatootiee]

Aww, that's sad. What happened, sis?

[IamMarieLove]

hehe yup it was sad but it was all in the past. We were like neighbors and childhood friends. At first, I wasn't attracted to him until I saw him walking down the aisle on his cousin's wedding. I was at front and I don't know I felt like he was walking towards me. Baliktad ano kasi dapat yong girl ang naglalakad towards the altar tapos ang boy yong naghihintay.

Anyway fast forward, hindi na kami on speaking terms noong lumaki kami and we had a chance to exchange numbers. Slowly, my crush feeling developed to something like "love". So ayun text text lang but later I found out he was committed. I know it was wrong kaya tinigil ko. Grabeh iyak ko nun. First love eh sobrang sakit din.

So ayon during senior year, I was about to say yes to my suitor who courted me since 2nd year ako. But bumalik siya. So yong initial plan ko nawala na naman. And ako tong alam mo na umasa uli.

Ok na sana but after a month yata around February I found out na he has a new GF. Feeling ko tuloy, ano ako sa kanya? Parang  reserve girl? So ayun, I confronted him and asked "Ano ba talaga ako sayo" and he answered "a good friend"

I was at my lowest point that time but on the other hand I knew that I made the bravest decision ever.

College days, we were in the same school and same organization. We acted like strangers or like nothing happened between us. We never even talked about ourselves, it's just like we went on with our lives like our story never happened. And at that time, sila pa din ng GF niya.

On my part naman, I never had a BF in all my college days. There were flings and dates but never ended in a real relationship. Na trauma na rin ako eh and parang I'm still in love with him kaya wala akong minahal sa mga naging flings ko. I wasn't a playgirl sis ha, 3 lang naman naka date ko during college eh and so far friends pa rin kami until now.

But you know what sis, my love for him pushed me to do my best. He was an achiever kasi sis and expected he will graduate with flying colors and on my part I want to at least be on the same stage during graduation. Secretly, I want to be more than his GF in terms of studies man lang, siguro pride na rin. So ayun, I studied and worked hard and I'm just very happy I did it. I graduated with flying colors and mas mataas din yong rank ko compared sa kanya and his GF graduated without honors.

Siguro mali yong parang motivation ko to achieve something pero hindi naman ako nagsisi kasi the result was all for my benefit. It actually feels great to achieve something big despite all the pain.

Now, we are both licensed professionals. He is still with his GF and I am just patiently waiting for the right one. I'm happy din sis that despite all of it, I was able to stand up and let go of all the pain. Now, I'm a grown up and more mature in dealing things. No regrets because in loving him, I learned to love myself even more. I was the one who gave myself the love that he wasn't able to give.

Sorry, sobrang haba na nito. Makwento kasi ako and I love stories kaya ayan mataas din kung makapagkwento. hehe

[anapatootiee]

No, it's okay. Na-enjoy ko namang basahin yung story mo. Awww ang sad naman but at least may mga na-achieve ka dahil sa love mo for him

[TomHansen]

^^ inspiring sis, pang mmk..

[young_maiden]

I have been liking my guy friend for three years now. Classmates kami nung nasa 3rd yr na ako sa law school. First time ko pa lang siya nakita, napaka-cute niya na sa mga mata ko. Hindi siya saksakan ng gwapo pero ewan ko ba bakit ang lakas ng dating niya sa akin. Kinaibigan ko siya. Ako talaga nag initiate ng friendship namin. Pag may mga questions ako na school-related, siya agad ni-PM ko. Sa tuwing nakakasalubong ko siya sa library, binabati ko siya. Buti na lang he is not the kind of person na ang tingin sa akin feeling close. Tinanggap niya pagiging friendly ko hanggang sa naging friends na nga kami. Sa una nga KUYA pa tawag ko sa kanya kahit 1 year ahead lang siya sa akin para lang di niya ako mahalata. Sobrang magkasundo kami at we confide sa isa't isa.

Hindi ako iyong tipong mabilis magkagusto sa lalaking kaibigan. Laging platonic. Pero siya iba talaga eh. Matinding attraction. No girlfriend since birth pa siya. Never naranasan manligaw. Kaya ang lakas ng loob ko hangaan siya. Nerd kasi siya. Puro aral at computer games lang inaatupag niya.

Our common friends would tease us na bagay daw kami. Kami naman tatawanan o sasakyan lang ang asaran. Naisip ko nga buti pa mga friends namin nakikita chemistry namin. Bakit siya hindi niya makita? Aware naman ako sa simula pa lang na wala talaga chance maging kami. Wala naman siya ibang gustong girl. Nerd lang talaga siya o hindi marunong manligaw. Aware din ako na friend lang talaga tingin niya sa akin. Pero ako heto di mawala like ko sa kanya. Kahit ngayong lawyers na kami, siya pa rin gusto ko. Paminsan-minsan nagkakagusto din ako sa ibang guys pero hanggang doon lang. Pagdating sa kanya, mas malakas nararamdaman ko. Gustuhin ko man siya maging boyfriend, wala din mangyayari dahil siya mismo ayaw niya. Wala naman siya moves na ginagawa to make me feel na romantic na tingin niya sa akin. Platonic lang din.

Proud nga ako sa sarili ko na kayang kaya ko itago nararamdaman ko sa kanya. Hindi niya alam at hindi rin niya ako nahahalata. Pati mga friends namin hindi alam. Nagkukwento din ako sa kanya ng iba kong crush para di niya ako mahalata. Mas gugustuhin ko na lang magsinungaling kaysa mabisto nila ako. Natatakot kasi ako na pag nalaman niya nararamdaman ko, umiwas siya sa akin. Mas hindi ko kakayanin iyon.

Sa ngayon focus na lang ako sa paghanap ng work at paghintay sa right guy na magugustuhan ko at magugustuhan ko din. Hindi ko hinihiling na sana si guy friend iyon kasi malabo talaga mangyari.

[IamMarieLove]

@ anapatootiee yes kaya nga never ako nagsisi na minahal ko siya kahit sobrang sakit kasi somehow it paved my way para maging ganito ako ka driven and strong. Sa bawat problemang nalalampasan natin, doon natin napapatunayan na matatag tayo. Kaya ayun, everything happens for a reason talaga.

@Tomhansen sis hindi yata papasa sa MMK hindi naman kasi masyadong madrama eh. hehe

@youngmaiden sis thanks for sharing your story. Personally sis, I don't like the feeling of being attracted to a guy friend kasi sa tingin ko sobrang hirap mag pretend na happy ka dahil may nagugustuhan siyang iba or palabasin na may mahal kang iba. And sabi noong friend ko, kahit daw hindi sabihin ng isang girl na may feelings siya para sa guy nararamdaman pa din nila yon kasi iba daw yong treatment ng girl na friend lang at girl na friend na may feelings. ANd diba sis wala namang secretong natatago forever? Naisip mo ba kahit minsan na sabihin yong feelings mo sa kanya sis?

[young_maiden]

^ Sis, wala ako balak sabihin. Ayoko mapahiya eh. Lalong ayoko mareject.

Kampante naman ako na hindi siya aware. I do not give him hints. Hindi rin ako madalas magtext sa kanya. Akala nga niya iba crush ko. Nagkukwento pa kasi ako sa kanya about other guys. Nagfocus na lang ako sa ibang bagay para di ko siya masyado isipin.

[IamMarieLove]

Pero sis hindi ka ba nahihirapan?

I've been to that situation din naman kasi. I was also attracted to a guy friend of mine. We were friends for so long and suddenly parang nagugustuhan ko siya. Ayoko yong feeling na may tinatago kaya I told him na I think I'm attracted to him (that feeling was not love yet). I wasn't rejected though but it was not reciprocated. It wasn't unrequited love as I was never expecting him to like me too. I told him just because I can't go on pretending. Good for us kasi we still end up friends and yong attraction ewan ko kung nagfade lang siya or what. Until now were still friends and wala na sa amin yong before.

[young_maiden]

^ sanay na ako sis. Hehe. Galing ko magtago no. Three years. Paminsan minsan I go out with other guys naman para di lang lagi siya focus ko.

[IamMarieLove]

Iba ka talaga sis heheh. Na sa tao lang naman iyan eh. Kung saan ka mas comfortable go lang ng go as long as wala kang masasaktang tao.

[anapatootiee]

@iammarielove yup, tsaka kalimutan na natin yang mga ganyang lalaki hahaha

@young_maiden hi, what if sabihin mo kaya sa kanya na parang pajoke lang like "alam mo nagka-gusto kaya ako sayo dati." Sabay tawa ng malakas para edi kung gusto ka rin nya, aamin din sya pero kung hindi, wala ring mawawala kasi "dati" lang naman eh. Haha

[young_maiden]

^ Hahaha. Iipon muna ako ng lakas ng loob para gawin iyan, sis. Mas nananaig kasi iyong takot ko na matapos friendship namin dahil lang sa nararamdaman kong attraction sa kanya. Buti na nga lang single siya eh. Mas masaklap siguro kung nagka-girlfriend siya.

[IamMarieLove]

aahaha sis Anapatootiee hindi ko siya pwedeng kalimutan kasi were friends now and that part it was like false alarm na attraction kasi and not something na sobrang deep kaya it was easy to move on. In fact I talked to him recently lang and I told him about this thread tapos na recall ko yong before and tawa lang kami ng tawa kasi sa amin wala na talaga and somehow doon namin napatunayan na mahal namin yong friendship namin. He has a gf now din and though I'm not seeing someone as of the moment, I'm sure na wala na talaga. hehe

@sis young_maiden Naku, may malaking impact pag nagkaroon na siya ng GF sis. I think jealousy will take place na din and tama ka masaklap na pag nagka-gf siya. Sa akin lang naman ito sis ha, hindi ba mas ok na sabihin yong feelings while you still can and  before it's too late? I think pwede na yong idaan sa joke or what ifs kasi baka same kayo ng iniisip. Huwag kayong tumulad doon sa movie na love Rossie kahit fiction lang yun it can also happen in real life. Opinion ko lang naman to sis, syempre nasa iyo pa rin yan.

[young_maiden]

^ Sis, lately nga nilalambing ko na siya. Sinasabi ko gwapo siya. Pinupuri ko intelligence niya. Hindi ko kaya sabihin directly feelings ko. I don't want to expect pero iyon nga mabuting sulitin habang single pa kami both. Kung wa epek pa rin pagiging sweet ko, not meant to be talaga.