How to improve child's social skills

[Princess_Chill]

im quite concern about my child's social skill..hands on kasi kaming mag asawa sa baby namin and sanay siya na kami lagi ang kasama niya. So my aunts asked if we can leave her ans stayed with them for a couple of days my aunts told me na super iyak niya.

she's turning 2 on feb and im concerned baka mahirapan siya maki socialize sa tao kasi sanay siya na kame lang lagi kasama niya. Sinasama naman namin siya sa mga parties.

Need some advice.

[hunny_ally]

My daughter naman before sanay only with adults. So since she's the baby of everyone, everything she wants, she gets. She doesn't know how to share toys with other kids. We enrolled her in a toddler school para meron siyang exposure with kids plus other adults.

[twelvth_goddess]

Princess Chill, I think normal lang yung reaction ng daughter mo. Kase kung sanay sya na kayong 3 lang tapos biglang iniwan mo sa ibang tao na hinde nya madalas nakikita, she's really going to get anxious. Plus, kung naiwan sya don, that would mean na the usual routine with you and your husband were suddenly disrupted; kids are big on routines.

My daughter is the only kid dito sa house namin and hinde din nya madalas nakikita mga in laws ko. When she was younger, iyak to the max talaga sya especially with my father in law. But now that she's 1, better naman na kase sumama naman and nakikipag play basta give her time to warm up lang and wag pipilitin na sumama sa kanila. I suggest that you bring her out to meet your friends and relatives more para masanay sya with other people. You can also enroll her to gym play schools such as Gymboree which is what I'm planning with my daughter din.

[clueless]

Princess_Chill, my baby is also the only kid in our house. but we live in a condo compound so every afternoon, she and the yaya go and walk outside so she gets to see other people aside from us. she has a ride-on car so sometimes she rides that din. there are other kids in the compound so she gets to interact with them also.

and at least once a month, we visit my sister who has twins a day older lang than my daughter. the twins, very sociable sila compared to my baby. sabi nila kasi mas "brave" daw sila kasi it's always the two of them, never alone. unlike with single/only kids.

i also enrolled my baby to gymboree classes after she turned 1. after class, nag-gym play din siya sa gymboree so she gets to play with other kids and experience "chaos" compared to how it is here at home.

i think we need to expose them din to different environments pero in a subtle way.

your aunts - madalas ba makita ng baby mo o bihira lang din? baka nanibago siya kasi mukhang biglaan ang nangyari na one day kayong 3 lang tapos suddenly biglang wala kayo tapos ang tagal pa, days agad na the child didnt see you.

[Princess_Chill]

Hi mga sis! thanks sa mga feedbacks..

nag woworry ako kasi pag nasa ibang house kame like sa mga in laws ko pag may family gathering as is ayaw niya magpababa like lang naka karga and masungit siya pag binabati siya ng mga kamag anak namin lagi lang nakakapit sakin specially sa dad nya.

ang outcome ayaw na siya kulitin ng mga inlaws ko kasi nga iiyak lang so frustrating kasi lagi siya nakukumpara ng mom in law ko sa cousin nya

[marose17]

^ The following can help improve your child's social skills:

1. Arrange Play dates with kids her age
2.  Enroll her in classes like Gymboree or Kindermusik
3.  Enroll her in a toddler play school this summer
4.  Try to visit your relatives more often so that she could be exposed to more people
5.  Always engage her in conversation kahit nasa house lang kayo at kayo-kayo lang magkakasama
6.  Try not to protect her too much.  Let her be.  Of course, you always have to be cautious about her safety.  But when she's trying to explore, let her do her own thing.

[stormy]

^marose ginawa ko lahat ito nun baby pa si kulit ngayon problema ko sobrang friendly, sobrang talkative at sobrang happy kid. Kailangan ng pagsabihan kaso paano pa magandang way para d masyado maingay lalo na pag sa school? Naiisip agad makipaglaro kaya nagiging careless sa ibang school work.

Gusto ko sana maimprove social skills nya kasi baka kainisan sya pag super ingay. Ok lang yan ngayon kasi bata pa sya pero pag malaki na sya d na yan nakakatuwa.

[hunny_ally]

pareho sila ng daughter ko. nasobrahan ng social skills. nawalan ng kahihiyan sa katawan. tapos this year she's the only girl in class. boyish na din gumalaw! but my mom said stage lang naman yun and eventually with right guidance they'll be "refined" na din.

[stormy]

^:) pag nagkikita ng mga friends (kahit 1 day lang d nagkita) kung tumili at mag embrace akala mo years d nagkita. Sana talaga matuto na tahimik at pino sa panahon na kailangan kapag old enough na.

[marose17]

^  Magbabago pa si R, maybe as she approaches the tween years (8-11). 

My son M1 had his developmental check-up today.  Okay ang social and personal skills niya, advanced pa nga for his age.  Pero in-advise pa rin ni Dr. Tippy ang regular play dates with his peers.  Kaya chichikahin ko my co-parents for play dates.

[DV]

Aside from those mentioned, these are other activities that we do to improve my daughter's social skills:

• let her pay for stuff we buy from the stores (I give her money at sya ang nag-aabot ng bayad sa rice store, bakery, grocery, etc); this encourages human interaction and boosts the child's confidence (my daughter feels good when she's able to do grown-up things)
• talk on the phone, video chat on the computer with friends, relatives, and her dad when he's in the office (you can do this before visiting or leaving your child with a relative para may konting transition)
• take her to places with lots of children (birthday parties, toy stores, parks, etc); sa umpisa, kids are normally shy, maya-maya maglalaro na yan kahit hindi sila magkakilala
• if going to a new place or meeting new people, search for pictures/videos and show it to her so she knows what to expect (it's normal for both children and adults to be shy/apprehensive when we're taken out of our comfort zones, di ba)

[ecnarfoj]

It takes time na masanay yung bata from being with adults na familiar sa kanya to having new friends na kasing age niya.

Ang hirap na kasi ng panahon ngayon. Hindi ko basta basta pwedeng paglaruin sa labas ng bahay yung anak ko. Palaging may takot lalo na nasa office ako. Pero pag dinadala namen yung anak namen sa park to play with kids, hindi siya nakikipag-laro. Pupunta lang siya sa play area kapag may umalis na bata dun sa gusto niyang paglaruan.

What we did is bigyan ng one-week vacation (at least every 2 months) yung anak ko sa bahay ng parents ko kasi maraming bata doon na playmates niya sa compound. Kahit di na sila lumabas ng gate pwede sila maglaro. Or kahit pumunta sila ng park, palagay ako kasi parents ko yung nagbabantay. One week lang yun pero nakikita ko yung improvement sa social skills ng anak ko. Ngayon siya na magsasabe gusto niya sa mga kids tapos siya pa yung unang magpapakilala. Kailangan din siguro kasi consistency although malaki yung interval ng pag-visit niya sa parents ko, one week naman siya nag-stay. Plus, palagi namin pinapaalala sa kanya yung names ng friends niya.

@DV, pinagbabayad din namen yung anak namen kapag nag-gro-grocery kami. Kapag tumatawag yung mga in-laws at parents ko sa house, pinapakausap ko talaga yung anak ko. Kailangan off ang TV at naka-focus siya dun sa usapan.

Im planning na ipasok siya sa summer camp/school this 2012 bago mag-start ang june classes para hindi siya mabigla masyado sa dami ng mga bata.

[Princess_Chill]

isn't it too early to enroll my baby to preschool? natatakot naman ako too early mag aral magsawa sa school

[hunny_ally]

^you dont really need to enroll her in a *pre-school*. you can enroll her in toddler school. gymboree and kindermusik have weekend classes. usually its just singing dancing and playing. my daughter first started going to school at 2years 10 months. this is for everyday classes ha. our main goal was socialization since it was just me and her in the house. they have lessons in class but it's not a traditional school. most lessons were taught thru playing and fun activities. but like what i said our main goal is for her to socialize. bonus na lang sa amin if she learns something in school. 

[ecnarfoj]

isn't it too early to enroll my baby to preschool? natatakot naman ako too early mag aral magsawa sa school

tama.. toddler school lang. para lang maka-interact siya. Hindi sa mga kids. Kung play area kasi hindi consistent yung mga nakikilala niyang bata. At least pag may play school or toddler school, kahit minsan sa isang linggo lang makita, same kids.

[chinita_san2007]

my son also is walang ibang nakakalaro kundi kami lang din ng lolas nya. Kaya din he lacks social skills. He is 3y/o when we decided to enrolled him as a jr nursery malapit sa place namin. When we attend bday parties naku panay din nakakarga ayaw pababa kelangan warm up muna bago sya maka adjust pag ganon na bago sa paningin nya. Sabi ni teacher cognitive wise he's really magaling and yun lang kelangan pa din masanay sya sa maraming tao. When i bring him to playroom he plays on his own din but he does play with his classmates yun mga usual faces na nakikita nya.isa pa po kulang pa sya sa focus madaling magsawa. But nevertheless malaki na inimprove nya compared before he enters school.ayaw naman namin madaliin baka magsawa agad kase yun structure naman ng jr nursery is play based lang. natural lang sa kanya ang mood swing may time kase na nagpparticipate sya sa class may time na watch lang sya lalo na pag antol pa sya and di maganda ang gising sa umaga.one thing also i noticed hindi pa sya marunong magsumbong sa amin like when someone push him sa loob ng class or yun nagkagasgas sya sa neck...di pa sya marunong magsabi i want him po sana to be more expressive and assertive. What i do panay ko sya kinakausap para mas madevelop pa yun expressive language nya he can express himself naman na po kase nauutusan ko na din sya yun lang talaga masyado yatang mabait lang ang anak ko. At the age of 18mos, he can recite our father, hail mary,glory and angel of God.baka po you can share mommies tips on how would i teach him to become assertive/expressive?tnx po for your inputs. God bless!:-)

[marose17]

^ I can say that my sons are assertive but not arrogant.  It really helps that the school (a Montessori preschool) they attend encourage children to speak up, ask questions and not just sit or listen to the teacher.

Talk to your son, make him do things that will test his skills (huwag masyadong "oh you cannot do that yet, you are too young") and train him to be self-reliant this early.  Once he realizes that there are several things he can do on his own (of course, you have to determine the appropriateness of the tasks for his age and make sure that the environment is safe), his confidence in himself will reach new heights.

[chinita_san2007]

thank you sis marose for your tips. I will definitely follow your advise sis. 

[rochelle08]

^  Magbabago pa si R, maybe as she approaches the tween years (8-11). 

My son M1 had his developmental check-up today.  Okay ang social and personal skills niya, advanced pa nga for his age.  Pero in-advise pa rin ni Dr. Tippy ang regular play dates with his peers.  Kaya chichikahin ko my co-parents for play dates.

hi sis marose17, i just got curious sa term na developmental check up, parang gusto ko din patingnan baby ko. he's turning two this september, sobrang likot. although di naman yun ang concern ko, hindi kasi siya natutulog ng diretso sa gabi... ok lang sana kung paminsan minsan eh palagi na. worried lang ako na baka magkaron ng di magandang effect sa growth niya. kahit patulugin namin ng 8-9pm, gigising siya ng 1or 2am then 6am na matutulog. ang weird.

meron ka po masa-suggest na doctor? maggu-google din ako for additional info. thanks in advance!!

[marose17]

^ Your pediatrician should conduct developmental check-ups on a regular basis (at 6, 9 12, 18, 24 months and so on).  If you want to consult a specialist, see a developmental pediatrician.