anong gagawin mo pag nalaman mong may kabit ang husband mo?

[jjqxiv]

^ May ganyan din sakin until now sis. But good thing, okay na kayo ng husband mo.

Sakin naman, kung gusto nila sa asawa ko then go, I won't stop them. I'm now working on our legal separation, ayaw nya mag-cooperate but no choice nman sya eh. Napagod na akong magpaka-t*nga and being cheated thrice made me even stronger and a better person.

[Girltalker2]

For instances na nanggugulo ang mga kabit, kahit gaano ka tempting sumagot, ang mapapayo ko lang sa mga wives is take a deep breath and just ignore the calls/texts.  Never answer back. Guaranteed hindi ninyo pagsisisihan ang hindi pagsagot.

[maye2k]

If proven guilty, no more questions to ask nor forgiveness to give. I'd definitely end everything what we have in our marriage. It's a sign that hubby is no longer happy no matter what are his reasons behind. Even if later on he would say, I have "pagkukulang" as wife, di ba at least he should've talked to me about it before he look for somebody who could fill that "pagkukulang".

Of all the thoughts that I have had been thinking about our relationships being husband and wife, this is the only situation that I won't be questioning my decision on ending our marriage if ever it may happen in the future..God forbid naman sana.

[Girltalker2]

Even if later on he would say, I have "pagkukulang" as wife, di ba at least he should've talked to me about it before he look for somebody who could fill that "pagkukulang".

Sis, good point there. Respeto lang di ba?  If your husband respects you, he should have first tried to resolve issues between the two of you and not look for another headache, that is, kung hindi sya just trying to find an answer to why he has a mistress.

By having a kabit and not talking to you to sort our his needs is simply pambabastos at pambabalewala sa pagsasama ninyo bilang mag-asawa.

[iammechelle]

For instances na nanggugulo ang mga kabit, kahit gaano ka tempting sumagot, ang mapapayo ko lang sa mga wives is take a deep breath and just ignore the calls/texts.  Never answer back. Guaranteed hindi ninyo pagsisisihan ang hindi pagsagot.

I super agree. Pinagsisisihan ko nga baket nireplayan ko pa. Kung ano man ang problema nila, di ko alam baket nagtitext o nanggugulo pa eh

[maye2k]

@ Sis Girltalker2, exactly my point sis. Ano pa't ipagpatuloy ang pagsasama kung nawala na ang isa sa mga pinaka importanteng aspeto ng inyong marriage ang "respeto".

We only live ones so better spend it with positive people and things, iwasan ma stress at magkasakit dahil lang sa hindi kontentong asawa. Swerte naman niya no? Hello! I love myself more  than I love him naman po honestly, so why make life miserable when husband gone wild with other women? Men are not the only happiness we could ever have, remember, we have our kids and family naman po

[kikaygimikera]

@iammechelle: ang galing mo sis. feeling ko inggit lang yun or baka friend mo yun na insecure sayo kaya gusto niya awayin mo si hubby mo. nakakaloka!

naisip ko na ito kanina. since this is my second marriage: naisip ko agad what went wrong with my first marriage.

when i learned about my ex-husband and the kabet, pinamigay ko na agad ang ex ko. i was furious. sabi ko wag na nya ibabalik ang asawa ko sa akin.

now, siguro my husband, even if he's not capable of doing such, ipagtatanggol ko siya. pero ang gagawin ko, i ttry ko sila hulihin tapos i mamake sure ko na masasabunutan ko yung kabit niya.

[iammechelle]

Ako rin naman. Lalo na ngayon, di ko na kayang i-let go si hubby. Nakikita ko na ang total transformation niya eh. Oh diba, kakilala niya ako kasi alam niya na noong unang panahon, konting ganyan, inaaway ko si hubby. Sabi ko rin nung nakaraan na nagtext siya,  sayo na yang emotional ek ek na yan o yang sinasabi mo na feelings ni hubby ko for you. Basta sa akin, ang legal rights ko bilang legal wife at ang sustento sa mga bata di mapabayaan. Tahimik siya! Akala nya, i would say, "oh no, please leave us alone!" Ipakita mo lang na matapang ka. Or dapat, wag ka na lang talaga magreply

[NgitingHeaven]

Im just wondering BAKET MAY MGA KABET? BAKIT SILA PA ANG MATATAPANG?  Ano kayang nararamdaman or iniisip nila kapag may nababasa sila or naririnig about kabet thing? Wala ba silang isip? Puro puso ganon?? Err

[det060403]

Isang malalim na *sigh na lang magagawa ko! haha... Syempre asawa mo na kasi, hindi na pwede yung basta basta na drama at yung "break na tayo! Malandi ka!" ganon! LOL
Sabi nga, in good times and in bad,  for better, for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health etc etc.... -- oh well, papel! Buti na lang hindi pa ko nagaasawa...ngak!! kung maexperience ko man yan, fine! wala na ko magagawa ganon talaga eh! but if not, Thank God! Hoping for the best!!!

[maye2k]

Isang malalim na *sigh na lang magagawa ko! haha... Syempre asawa mo na kasi, hindi na pwede yung basta basta na drama at yung "break na tayo! Malandi ka!" ganon! LOL
Sabi nga, in good times and in bad,  for better, for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health etc etc.... -- oh well, papel! Buti na lang hindi pa ko nagaasawa...ngak!! kung maexperience ko man yan, fine! wala na ko magagawa ganon talaga eh! but if not, Thank God! Hoping for the best!!!

ay.. Sorry but I have to really really beg to disagree with your statement sis, IMO lang. Well..you aren't married yet so I understand why it's easy for you to say this statement.

I super salute wives who are in this kind of situation already yet they chose to stay with their husbands just for the sake of keeping the marriage. Emotional torture is kinda fun for them most probably hehe...

[iammechelle]

you can never tell unless you are already in the situation. There are wives who chose to stay even if their husbands are philandering, IMO for their own reasons. Anak, dependent sa husband, mahal mahal, etc. etc. Di ko rin alam paano sila nakakatiis ng ganoon. Nakakagulat, really! But we can never judge them. They know how to handle the situtation with grace na minsan, sila pa ang glorified. In my case, my hubby showed total reform. So past is already past, wag na lang balikan. Move on na lang. Pero kung darating ako sa sitwasyon na pinagmumukha na akong t*nga, aba, ayawan na! Bata pa ako, marami pa magkakagusto sa akin. Or keber ang mga boys na yan, magbayad na lang o mag-collect ng boylet!  hehe

[cloudzy_09]

Hindi ko alam gagawin ko if ever nahuli ko siya may kabit siguro kung one night stand lang baka mapatawad ko pero as in may relationship sila ng girl hindi ko ata kakayanin.

Bakit ganon lagi excuse ng lalaki kaya nag kakaroon ng kabit kasi hindi sila pinag sisilbihan ng asawa nila especially sa mga working mothers my gosh sana kumuha na lang sila ng katulong at ayun ang pinakasalan nila. I like doing things for my hubby especially pag pinag luluto ko siya pero hindi ako yung tipo mag prepare ng mga susuotin niya at mag pupunas ng likod niya.

[Girltalker2]

you can never tell unless you are already in the situation. There are wives who chose to stay even if their husbands are philandering, IMO for their own reasons. Anak, dependent sa husband, mahal mahal, etc. etc.

IMO for all the wrong reasons.  Yung anak, nilalakihan na binabastos lang ang nanay. Yung dependent sa husband, siguro our previous generation iyan. Pero sa generation natin, bakit ka pa pinaaral ng magulang mo kung tatanga ka nalang sa tabi para gaguhin ng pinakasalan mo.
At kung mahal na mahal, set him free kasi dun sya sasaya.  Sa linya na mahal na mahal, feeling ko mas mahal parin nya ang sarili nya kasi hindi nya alam where to go, para may asawa parin syang matatawag na dapat mag alaga sa kanya kahit niloloko na sya nito.

Di ko rin alam paano sila nakakatiis ng ganoon. Nakakagulat, really!

You will be amazed na talagang matindi dapat ang "guts" mo to withstand this. Kung makapal ang mukha ng kabit, dapat, mas makapal mukha mo at di ka dapat mahiya, eh wala ka naman ginawang mali in the first place. Ang mali lang nga na ginagawa mo is kinukunsinti mo ang pagloloko ng asawa mo kahit lantaran na.

It's just a matter of psyching yourself na mahal ka ng asawa mo. Dapat mong lokohin ang sarili mo na hindi totoo na may ibang mahal ang asawa mo. Dapat mo lagi itanim sa mind mo ikaw ang asawa, ikaw ang pinakasalan, at ikaw ang mahal. Kahit marami pa nagsasabi sayo na hindi iyan totoo. 

sila pa ang glorified.

Simple case lang naman, Gawin lang silang uto uto ng mga husbands nila, in that way, tatahimik sila, tapos si hubby happy happy with all the women they want.

Parang mga OFWs, babansagan ng mga politicians na BAYANI daw pero kung tratuhin naman ng government, parang mga basahan. Pero kelangan mo uto uto-in para kunwari happy sila by being them, but in reality, they are just being used, at rejoicing ang mga nakikinabang all at their expense.

In my case, my hubby showed total reform. So past is already past, wag na lang balikan. Move on na lang.

Lucky for you sis. Ibang usapan nanga kung nagreform ang hubby, sorry at NEVER na uulit. Ibang usapan na iyan, at dyan mo makikita ang sincerity ng lalaki. Pero sa mga lalaki na sorry nang sorry at nagmahal lang daw sila, pero sige parin ang extra marital affairs, maryosep, lokohin nila ang lelang nila.

[honeycrushed]

Im just wondering BAKET MAY MGA KABET? BAKIT SILA PA ANG MATATAPANG?  Ano kayang nararamdaman or iniisip nila kapag may nababasa sila or naririnig about kabet thing? Wala ba silang isip? Puro puso ganon?? Err

ay nako sis, i tell you, after kong binugbog yung kabit ng asawa ko, nag post pa siya sa FB niya na sana makarma daw kami ng asawa ko.... the nerve diba! siya pa talaga matapang... at ako pa makakarma...  iba talaga ang mga kabit, nabigyan lang ng konting panahon at atensyon eh feeling reyna na at sila ang biktima.

It's just a matter of psyching yourself na mahal ka ng asawa mo. Dapat mong lokohin ang sarili mo na hindi totoo na may ibang mahal ang asawa mo. Dapat mo lagi itanim sa mind mo ikaw ang asawa, ikaw ang pinakasalan, at ikaw ang mahal. Kahit marami pa nagsasabi sayo na hindi iyan totoo. 

true sis.  for those who stay in a relationship, well it's just a matter of conditioning yourself.  this is so old school.  yung mag paka martyr at i-blind ang sarili sa katotohanan.  bilib ako sa mga babaeng nakakagawa nito. 

[kcjane]

Hiwalay na agad. Agad agad... ayokong magpakamartir at miserable sa taong walang kwenta.Naka mind set na sa akin yan. No excuses whatsoever. Wala ng second chance

[iammechelle]

Sis girltalker2, i love your reply, point by point ;-) Girl power talaga sana. Sana yung mga nakikisama pa rin sa mga asawa nila na ginagawa na silang t@nga ay matauhan na. Gasgas na yung linya na "di ako mabubuhay kung wala yung asawa ko... etc. etc." Noon yun siguro. Pero ngayon, ang daming paraan para maging independent ang mga babae. Kaya na natin pantayan ang mga lalaki, ang mga asawa natin. Sex na lang naman yan. Kung kita ang pag-uusapan, kaya na rin naman natin mag-negosyo o maghanap ng trabaho.

Yung mga lalaki na worth tanggapin at bigyan ng chance, total reform talaga yung kailangan. Yung sa mga sorry lang ng sorry at uulit din naman, hayyy naku, iwanan na mga yan. Habang malalakas sila, sa kabet magpapasasa. Kapag lantutay na at may sakit saka maaalala ang linyang "For richer or poorer... In sickness and in health.."

Sis honeycrushed, feeling reyna sila at biktima at sila pa ang malalakas ang loob. Ewan ko ba kung baket hilig kumabet, dami namang binata diyan.

[palamig]

baka akala nila ubos na mga single kaya kakabet na lang sila.. masarap ba maging kabet kaya kumakabet sila?hay nako..kaawa awang nilalang

[honeycrushed]

May bagong kabit na naman ang asawa ko. This time he was smart enough to tie all lose ends para hindi ko siya mahuli. Kaso may mga nakapuslit na messages na nabasa ko which made me realize he was playing with me all along. Binaligtad pa ko at sinabing kailangan niya ng breather at space.

I went back to my parent's home with my son. It will be a rough journey but I'll get through. Dapat the first time na nangaliwa ang asawa ko iniwan ko na. Nagbigay pa ko ng second chance. But what is done is done.  Looking forward to a brand new me. 

[maen_she23]

     SIguro sa akin once is enough. Bibigyan ko sya ng second chance and try to work out whatever reason it was why he cheated. If magbago sya then good. but if not of course di ko sya i-accept.
But if he does it the 2nd time,then good bye na. I mean magiging used lang ang lalaki na konting sorry ok na? baka paulit-ulit lang gawin di ba.
    As women, we should have respect for ourselves. Hindi dapat tayo ginaganun di ba. Papano ka din irerespect ng asawa mo kung sarili mo pa martir martir pa. Even your kids will lose respect for you.     
    Also, it will be traumatic for kids to see their parents fighting or their father openly philandering. I know lots of people who grep up in this kind of family and honestly they say they wished their parents just ended their union instead of living like that na magkakasama sa house pero dysfunctional naman.
    Most women also di makahiwalay sa asawa kasi they are dependent na. My advice is, try to get a job or a sideline. It will be very uplifting and makes a different view in life if you earn your own money and you know that you can provide for your kids on your own.