Closure ng relationship?

[aquacharly]

What is "closure" really?  It surely refers to more than an orderly talk between 2 to end a relationship.  May refer too to  indifference, a dis-connect; even a gradual drifting apart.  Or, the more definitive: 2-timing/betrayal with no remorse/apology/attempt to explain away.   Hindi ba "closure"  din mga ganoon?  Whatever  it takes to render a relationship dead. 

Do you need "closure"   to be able to move on? IMO, no. 
As my lolo La SallIsta used to say to  my dad who ...  (este, "studied at a rival school".   Gotta be careful, ma Watched! ako  uli, lol.):     Kayong mga A*** patay na yung kabayo; dinadakdak  nyo pa parang bumangon.  Lol.   
Peace, sa mga A****  (hubby & I studied there  too.  Atchaka hindi, hindi namin dinadakdak mga patay nang horses.)     .

[meisaia]

no matter how bad the breakup is, you will need this. and this is important.

i strongly believe na dahil sa lack of closure kaya hindi totally nakakamove on ang isang tao or kaya naiinlove ulit siya sa isang taong nanakit sa kanya.

maybe it's just me, pero i really don't want any lose threads during the twilight moments of my life. gusto ko lahat okay. kaya hanggat maari gumagawa talaga ako ng paraan para magkaron kami ng closure. ayokong mamatay ng may kagalit o kasamaan ng loob.

[ettevyvi]

^ For those who doesn't want closure, the reason why we don't is because its just an excuse to talk with your ex wherein you should have move on. Nakukukuha ko yung point ni sis meisaia, ganyan ako dati. I want to make peace with everyone. Kahit yung mga taong nanakit sa akin. Pero at this point in time, pwede mo namang patawarin [textspeak!] mga taong nakapanakit sa 'tin ng di na nakikipag-usap e. Talk to that person when ready, pero hindi na yung relasyon. Hindi na para balikan ang masakit na alaala ng nakaraan. Tapos na 'yan e. If you look for closure na mag-usap pa, wondering what went wrong, hindi mo ba iisipin na what if you have done this, magiging okay pa kaya yung relasyon nyo? Or if things could have been different because you know why a certain person acted this way, would you still give him a chance?

Would it be be better na tayo mismo ang mag step back and assess the relationship that we had and not wait for someone to validate the truth that deep down we already know? No matter what the other party says, it still boils down to OUR truth anyway. And the most obvious truth is that its over, whether you get the 'proper' closure or not.

When I had relationships before, lagi akong naghahanap ng closure. Pero imbes na maka-move on ako, lalo ang ako nasasaktan. Kasi naiisip ko yung mga IF ONLY. Kasi mas nasaktan ako noong wala silang masabing dahilan kung bakit hindi na sila inlove sa akin. Pero ilang relasyon na ang di ko hiningan ng closure. And I'm still fine, I moved on the same pace as I had when I had the 'closure'.

I think the real meaning of closure is when you think about the person, you don't associate anything with them anymore. Nothing positive nor negative. Nothing. Tipong di mo na naiisip ang taong yun. You're fine with them, na isang araw makita mo man sila, wala ka ng nararamdamang kahit ano para sa kanila.

[meisaia]

yun ang problema sa mga tao. they treat "closures" as an excuse to talk to their exes which is not the case dapat.

ganun din ako dati, after breaking up, i wanted to have closure immediately, gusto ko na agad makipag-usap etc... ang ending nasasaktan ako lalo kasi hilaw yung hinihingi ko. minamadali ko. closure will eventually come. hindi pinipilit. hihintayin mo yung time na

now, why do i need closures? simple lang. i always think na kahit papano even at one point in the relationship, naging masaya ako. i owe it to that memory. i owe it to that person who made me feel special sa isang point ng buhay ko.

[Foodict]

I believe strongly in the importance of "closure", but it must be done at the right time. After the grieving, when the hurt has become manageable and when both partners are less emotional. It will take time, but you need to close that chapter in your life properly. If not then it will be that extra baggage in your life. You might forget about it, you might deny it, but it will affect your decisions unconsciously.

The deeper the broken relationship, the more you need to have it concluded right.

[ettevyvi]

I guess people have their own definition of closure. Sa akin, closure is going back to things that went wrong. Wala na ngang relasyon, so wala ng dapat balikan.

Kapag ba sinabi nya na kaya hindi kita nagustuhan kasi ang taba mo, or anything na alam mong napakasuperficial o hindi mo na mababago sa sarili mo at sa relasyon na napagsamahan nyo... magiiba ba ang lahat? Sa huli, sarili din lang naman talaga makakapagsabi kung nagkaron ka na ng closure.

Or perhaps, closure are for those people na bigla na lang nawala sa ere. Yung one day, someone wakes up and realize that the relationship is not working anymore. But if you get cheated on, lied to, had hurt you physically and emotionally... does that need a closure? What should you know more when the truth is already in front of you?

[Foodict]

IMO Closure is more for yourself than for the other person. In Sats case kasi asking for forgiveness should put a period to the relationship. But then again, bearing that burden might be your karma na din. 

[ettevyvi]

^Sats said sorry na din. She have done her part, helping the other person to move forward. The other person, nasa kanya na 'yun. Sya din kasi mahihirapan.

[sakura_bloom]

^Sensya na what's the meaning os "Sats"?

[meisaia]

siguro before we discuss kung kailangan ba talaga ng closure, idefine muna natin kung ano ba talaga yung closure para hindi tayo malito.

[PINKISS]

 In ending a relationship, it is important for me na mag break up kami in person. I want to see his reactions sa mangyayare. Mashoshock ako, usually wala akong reaction then after few days, pag clear na mind ko, yun siguro yung time na we have to talk, Hindi ako makikipagbalikan. mine siguro, that's what I called closure. When I can say all the things I need to tell him. When I accept the fact that we can never be together again. That's the time for closure. For me, I need it!

[ettevyvi]

^Sensya na what's the meaning os "Sats"?

si sis sats yan, yung nirereplyan ko.

sis meisaia, oo nga hehe. iba2 tayo ng meaning eh!

[iamgold]

Masakit maiwan nang naka hang pero yung closure kase decision ng 2 tao yan eh its not for us to decide lang..pag ayaw nung ex natin makipag usap hayaan na natin it means hindi na ganun kagaya dati ang pagtingin niya satin kaya wala nang bearing sakanya yung pag uusap..madali lang naman intindihin pag ayaw na satin ng tao eh tayo lang ang umaasa and nageexpect na may pag asa pa..maskit pero yun ang totoo..imbes ba kulitin natin mga ex natin na makipag usap lets just pray for the mercy of the Lord na kayanin natin yung sakit..

[jobelle1984]

for me,it doesn't matter.what important is that i realized that it's over and we're done.i don't break the guy  kase when i still love him kaya seguro ganun.minsan nakikipag hiwalay siya and ayoko so kami pa din though di na tulad ng dati yung feelings pero atleast alam kong me pinanghahawakan pa din ako kahit papano..but when i felt that it's over for me no need to talk,like i love you but you didn't feel the same or i wish you happiness,blah blah blah.

[Serena.]

Yes. Not to settle the issues but just to formalize the break up.