support group for those sisses na nagmomove on and the likes...? ;)

[SarSi_Em]

3 months na kami NC. sya may bago na after 2 weeks, at happy. pinakilala na sa family, plan na daw pakasal next year, unahin na lang daw ang baby. o d bah? kaya ayaw ko mag open ng fb at mga common friends namin super chika, hindi ko alam, masaya ata nag durusa ako, o help ba to para maka move on na ako ng todo.

anyway, sobra bigat lang nalaman ko yun, nakita ko pa pics nila, kaya sila naman gumugulo ng utak ko,

ayaw ko na kasi i block na wag sila isipin, feeling ko mas mabilis ako makaka move on pag iniisip ko, nag lagay naman ako time or deadline para dito. feeling ko kasi kakapigil ko isipin lalo ko lang naiisip 

sana matapos na to. wala na ko energy gumalaw, wala na ko gana sa lahat.

pasensya na wala lang makausap. 

[pumpkin13]

^Sis, pag naiisip mo, try mo to do something else. Diversion. Hanggang sa masanay ka na di mo na naiisip. Although I know time will come na kahit maisip mo di mo na mararamdaman yung pain. You just have to help yourself.

Naexperience ko din yan. Palagi ko iniisip and the new girl. Kung gano sya kasaya. Yung self-esteem ko sobrang baba nun. Naiisip ko pa lang na di na sya masaya sakin dahil masaya na sya sa iba kaya kami naghiwalay, nangliit tingin ko sa sarili ko. Feeling ko ang laki ng mali sakin. Pero I helped myself. I sought help and support from friends outside of our circle and from my family. Yung help and support na yun are simply their time. I didn't have to talk about what happened if I didn't feel like it. Basta yung nalilibang lang ako. Hanggang sa nasanay na ko na di ko naiisip at di napag uusapan. Pag napag usapan naman, nakukwento ko ng buo na walang pain. It's been almost a year. August last year nangyari yun eh. Pero I started feeling good early this year.

[pretty_B]

To sis SarSi_Em, you will be happy again. i can assure you that. 

mejo nalulungkot ako makabasa ng mga ganyang stories dito ng mga sis natin. natatakot na baka mangyari sakin yan, kaya ayaw ko muna umulit magmahal ngayon. >_<

[itsnikimendoza]

hi mga sis, I've been reading several break up stories dito sa thread pero lurker lang ako. Idk if long overdue na yung post ko, since ang tagal ko na naman nakaexperience ng break up. Pero tama pala yung sabi nila na, di mo naman maiinitindihan yung position nila hanggat hindi mo pinagdaanan. Basta mga sis, kapit lang. No amount of comforting words can take away the pain, but you will get better in God's time.

It took me a year to understand na hindi pala talaga kami para sa isa't isa nun ex ko. Lahat ata ng eksenahan ng iyak nagawa ko. Shower scene, maglakad magisa para puntahan lahat for the first time, makinig sa emo songs, lahat na! Sakin nakatulong yung "feel the pain until it hurts no more." Medyo masokista ako eh. but after that, dumating nalang yung day na nasabi ko ayoko na. tapos na. Then nun ready na ako, chaka dumating si hubby. Parang siguro pinrepare muna ko ni God na maging buo ulit. Dumating ako sa point na hesitant na ako to love again, hindi biro iwan slash lokohin ng dating jowa noh! But then again... My husband happened.


Kaya sana wag kayong mawalan ng pag asa mga sis. I will include you in my prayers. Keep moving on. It's an everyday process pero kaya yan, promise.

[Lonely_missus]

I guess it's only appropriate na mag post din ako sa thread na to. 10 days na since umalis yung husband ko without any formal talk (our marriage has been on the rocks and magkahiwalay kami ng room natutulog for almost a month na before he left).
 
Umalis siya without even telling me where he's going and if babalik pa siya. Hindi ako nag suspect na he'll be gone for long kasi wala naman siyang dalang mga gamit (well, just his back pack na lagi naman nyang dala). Yung number nya cannot be reached na and walang reply kahit na mag email, skype or viber msg ako sa kanya. 3 days after he left, na-open ko yung email nya and found out na he paid for a condo in BGC, and at that time 99.99% sure ako na bumalik na naman siya in "chasing tails". Yes, may history siya ng pagiging unfaithful- in fact 2 months ago ginawa na din nya etong ganitong scenario pero we reconciled and he committed/promised na magbabago since mahal naman daw nya ako. Sobrang feeling betrayed ako and I felt ang t**** t**** ko para maniwala sa mga lies nya and promises. Ang masakit pa nito, alam ko sa sarili ko na mahal ko pa din siya and hindi ako maka-let go. From the time na umalis siya hangang ngayon, madalas pa din ako iyak ng iyak and feeling so alone. Kahit kasi alam kong naiintindihan ako ng family ko, hindi ko pa din maiwasang mahiya at ma-guilty kasi hindi naman sila nagkulang ng paalala sakin.

I know I should report him or furthermore escalate this into a legal battle kasi obviously he doesn't have any intention of letting me know of his whereabouts or kung may balak pa siya balikan ako.  He is an expat kaya wala siya family dito. Sadly, t**** talaga ako kaya ayoko man aminin pero umaasa pa din ako na babalik siya or magpaparamdam. Ang hirap kasi hindi na ako maka focus sa work and lagi nalang ako nag iisip. I need diversion, kaya lang i am too proud and takot mahusgahan kaya hindi ko magawang totally mag open up sa mga friends ko. Yung best friend ko naman is no longer in the country and siya din may mga problemang hinaharap kaya hindi ko ma-open lahat lahat sa kanya. I need help.

[momentum]

^ oh no sis.. Im sorry to hear that your story reminded me about one sissie here who made a thread years ago.. Na iniwan siya ng kalive-in partner niya just like that and she struggled so hard to move on

Wala ako maisip sa ngayon ano pwede mo gawin sis kasi it's clear na he doesnt want you to get in touch with him anymore and wants to be left alone natry mo na ba sis na puntahan yung condo? Para makita ano ba meron duon?

It seems like he got this all planned out already - buying the condo in advance, probably has savings hidden, did not need to bring clothes coz he already has there in the condo, etc. Maybe he was just waiting for the last straw to push him to leave for good.

If were in your shoes sis, I will plan out a surpise visit in the condo, bringing a brother or other close relative or friend as support. Syempre before that I will psyche myself first that whatever I will see or find out eh no choice na ako but to accept and move on. Then will cross the bridge when I get there

Do you have kids with him sis?

Hang in there .. Pray for strength and guidance from God...

[Lonely_missus]

Hi sis, thanks for reading my sentiments. The condo that was paid for is only for 7 days rental. As soon as i found out about this, nag text ako sa kanya letting him know na I am aware where he's at and even mentioned the name of the condo. Knowing how easily he can get paranoid, i know natakot yun and baka umalis na din the following day or that same day. Yun nga ang mali ko. I shouldn't have given him hints that I know what he's doing para mahuli ko sa akto. Pero i know he's also sure na hindi ko magagawang mag eskandalo dahil he knows I am too proud to do that.

I don't know if it's a blessing na wala kaming anak kahit na we've been trying so hard and had ourselves checked as well. We have been married since 2012.

Hiyang hiya na ako sa sarili ko, pero umaasa pa din ako.

[momentum]

^ normal naman sis umasa, kasi asawa mo yan. pero sis, stop hoping na. he clearly wants out since hindi mo na siya ma-contact. Let him be na, let him go...he wants to be free. Free yourself narin sis coz you can't force someone to love you..mahirap sa una but you will get there, marami ang nakapag survive from a broken, toxic relationship/marriage, and found themselves happier than ever..nabunutan ng tinik kumbaga..you can do it too sis.

love and take care of yourself 

[Lonely_missus]

Thank you. My logical head says go and let him go, pero yung ma-emotional na part ayaw mag let go. Siguro kasi na-uunfair-han lang ako na lahat naman ginawa ko in my own ways and means na umayos kami. I know at some point i need to turn the page and move on, pero ang hirap. Iniwan din nya ako with the responsibility of doing the explaining sa family, relatives etc . i know, i don't owe anyone an explanation pero traditional kasi ang family ko and everybody seem to have a notion na ok kami, masaya kami and mahal na mahal namin ang isa't isa-- for some reason yan kasi ang pinapalabas nya palagi and siguro ako na din. I've been reading threads here about closure and trying to convince myself that  not having closure is my closure.

[akosimaiatot]

I hear you sis Lonely_missus I;ve been there ,done that and man it hurts as in nakakasira ng ulo, pero alam mo the best option is to give him time and give yourself more time, I mean learn to love yourself more sabi ko nga sa kabilang thread sometimes we need to choose our battles and know when to throw the towel, I f he want space let him have it kasi nanotice ko na the more we try to stop them the more na gusto nila kumawala  satin, cry if you need to kung makakabuti sayo ang pag iyak then go but you need to set a timeframe hanggang kalian ka iiyak para sa kanya?

[Lonely_missus]

^ Salamat akosimaiatot .Siguro i'm somewhat geared to moving on na din, the fact na nagagawa ko ng i-share or balikan ulit mga pinagdaaanan ko at pinagdadaanan ko sa kanya, shows na willing na mag let go ang sarili ko gradually. If there's any consolation, at least may work ako and hindi ko eto binitawan kahit madalas nyang gamitin eto against me (kesyo kulang daw ang time ko sa kanya or if he can't be number one in my life wag nalang daw etc). Also my work doesn't require me to go to a physical office kaya walang makakasaksi sa mga pagmo-moment ko, the only downside is wala ako masyadong diversion dahil palagi ko lang siya naaalala everywhere i look.

Cheers to all of us na may ganitong pinagdadaanan. This too shall pass.

[handlewithcare]

^This too shall pass. That's my fave quote sis Lonely_missus. I can relate with you kc I work from home din. Bedroom ko office ko. Kaya ang hirap kc wala akong makausap. For 9 months nasanay ako na si ex ang lagi kong kausap every minute. Ngaung iniwan na nya ako, sobrang hirap mag-adjust. Sobrang nakakadepress. Minsan ayoko nang bumangon. Wala akong ganang kumain. Almost 2 months na akong ganito. Sana nga matapos na kasi ang sakit sakit na.

[momentum]

Isipin mo nalang sis na habang umiiyak ka, depressed and analyzying each and ever aspect ng relationship ninyo, eh andun siya, out there, nagpapakasaya, no holding back... Having the time of his life.. didn't even shed a tear for you. Papayag ka ba n siya lang puwede maging masaya?! Na looking forward to being Free and single again??! Hell noooo

So wipe your tears.. Pick yourself up and pamper yourself! Love yourself again and enjoy life. Magagawa mo na uli lahat ng gusto mo gawin pero di nagawa while in that miserable marriage. Go out with your friends sis! Rejoice coz now your free from this a$$he0le.. He was never a husband to you anyway! You deseve soo much more!  Smile!! In the end tatawanan mo nalang lahat ng ito ang think why you wasted so many tears and sleepless nights for this undeserving guy.

[Lonely_missus]

@handlewithcare, I pray for strength and guidance to us both!

@momentum, thanks a lot, sis. Everything you said here makes sense. Actually, lumabas ako kagabi with a friend pero wala naman ako bukambibig kung hindi ang hudas kong asawa, but i know eventually isusuka din siya ng sistema ko and I can't wait. I owe you sis. Beers on me if we meet, hehe.

[SarSi_Em]

sis lonely, ang hirap pag asawa ang need i let go, mas malalim.
may mga friends ako tulad ni hub mo, lumalayas na lang, wala explanation, sabi nila, ginagawa nila un kasi nasasakal na sila, kung may feeling ka may ibang babae kasama, kailangan mag usap na kayo, d pwede uwi na lang sya sayo after ng landian nila, ano ka nanay nya?

kung ikaw naman kaya ang mawala? bakasyon ka rin, para ma clear din mind mo. wag mo isipin mga kamag anak, maintindhan nila din yun, wala naman sila magagawa d naman sila kasama ng asawa mo, d sila ang nag sa suffer.

nakakainis talaga mga lalake walang balls mag open up ng problem, mas gusto pa nila humanap ng kalinga sa iba at dun mag inarte na may prob sila sa asawa nila, at masabi deserving sila magluko dahil may pagkukulang tayo. bakit di na lang pag usapan para maayos? 

if need mo sis kausap pm mo lang kami, ako nakaka survive dahil din sa mga help at advice nila at sankatutak na ranting dito sa GT.

kanina naiyak pero slight lang nakaramdam ng lungkot, pain.. weekend kasi, usually andito sya sa bahay. pero ayun iniisip ko na lang masaya sya kasama new girl nya, bakit ako mag mukmok. tho ouch pa rin pag inisip ko mag kasama sila hehe

tara gimik tayo i beer na lang natin to, sino unang umiyak sya mag babayad ng bills 

[Lonely_missus]

^ SarSi_Em, Oo feeling ko justified naman kung ako nga ang bigla nalang din mawala. Hiyang hiya ako sa balat nya no.

Sadly, wala pa akong privilege to initiate private convo here.

Anyhoo, yes i think diversion would help right now. Re- iyakan rules, mukhang talo ako dyan baka mauna agad ako LOL. 

[handlewithcare]

@Lonely_missus, thanks for the prayer! We will survive!

@SarSi_Em, natawa ako sa "sino unang umiyak sya mag babayad ng bills". Haha!

[Lonely_missus]

@handlewithcare, join ka. Makalabas man lang tayo ng lungga natin 

[momentum]

^sis lonely_missus thank you for the invite i dont drink pero baka puwedeng shake nalang ako or fries? Haha (babaw :p)

Kelangan talaga nating encouraging words lalo na when we are down. Huwag ka na magmukmok sa taong yun sis.. If ever mag iisip ka ng malalim, start thinking na about your future like what are the things you wanna do.. Perhaps travel? Set-up a get together with your family? Shopping for new clothes and getting a make-over? Mga ganun sis ipilit mong maging positive sis.. Eventually mapapansin mo na puro postives na nilolook forward mo.. good riddance siya sa buhay mo sis, isipin mo yan.

[Lonely_missus]

Lol, osha sige gow sa fries at shake 

Lumabas ako ng lungga ulet kanina, mag isa ako nag beer, muntanga lang. First time ko yan. Pero after nyan, ang sarap ng feeling. Parang new found freedom na din. No plans of being pakawala though. Kasi ako din ang talo kapag nagkataon.