No boyfriend since birth at 29 - advice?

[klengmorales]

Nakakaisang BF palang ako and I'm turning 28.  Pareho yata kami. hindi ligawin. Hindi ko na lang iniisip yang mga ganyan  na wala akong ka in a relationship ngayon. nag fofocus muna ako sa work. pero yun nga lang pag matutulog ka na... dun ko lang naaalala na. ay wala pa din akong other half

[princessette]

sis may thread dito for NBSB and you willbe surprise sa mga nagcomment some are still young but there are like me na malapit na mawala sa kalendaryo or wala na talaga...tell you're friend to go there she might find a group that will share all their NBSB experiences may it be good or bad para naman hindi siya madepress or anything

[sardonyxmemoirs]

This is true and I understand this, and this is also what's wrong sa mga NBSBs.

Having a bf does not validate if you're lovable or not. Dapat baguhin ang ganyan mentality, learn to differentiate if you should work on your appearance or yung mismong being lovable. Kung matter of attractiveness (bakit di pinopormahan etc...) ang insecurity it means pwede pang mabago. Ngayon if unlovable eh ayun medyo mahirap na yan...lol.

Alam ko naman to eh. Kaso ang hirap sabihin nito sa sarili ko tuwing makakakita ako ng happy couples. Ang masakit dyan, pangit na nga ako outside, pangit pa inside. Dati mabait naman ako at super tagapagtanggol talaga ng naaapi, kaso wala namang pumansin sa kin. Lahat sila dun sa mahihinhin at magaganda. Parang naubos na yung kindness tank ko, tuyot na. Syempre sinong magmamahal sa b**** na tulad ko? At lalong walang pumapansin at nagmamahal sa kin, lalo akong nagiging self-centered. Vicious cycle. And look where that's gotten me. I'm alone.

[Girltalker2]

Nakakaisang BF palang ako and I'm turning 28.  Pareho yata kami. hindi ligawin. Hindi ko na lang iniisip yang mga ganyan  na wala akong ka in a relationship ngayon. nag fofocus muna ako sa work. pero yun nga lang pag matutulog ka na... dun ko lang naaalala na. ay wala pa din akong other half

sis wala sa age iyan. ako din naman, pareho mo. worse malapit nako mawala sa lotto!  imagine that! ang tanda tanda ko na, some Gtalkers posting here are half my age, puede ko na maging anak!  But guess what it is only this year I started dating. And I realized, di naman magkabf ang solution talaga. It is how to be happy - on your own, with or without a bf. Yan ang secret. When you are happy, they just come. For one reason or another, sincere man o hindi.  Andyan lang at nasa sa iyo na to decide whether you would still want a bf or not.

Do not make 'having a bf' be your end in mind.  It should be 'how to be happy'.

[janix athena]

di naman magkabf ang solution talaga. It is how to be happy - on your own, with or without a bf. Yan ang secret. When you are happy, they just come. For one reason or another, sincere man o hindi.  Andyan lang at nasa sa iyo na to decide whether you would still want a bf or not.

Do not make 'having a bf' be your end in mind.  It should be 'how to be happy'.

I like this! I agree sis.

[janix athena]

You're welcome sis sprinkledust. Your friend will just have to try the practical tips our sisses here have already given so far. Let us know when she has already tried the suggestions. I'm sure meron ditong effective advice kahit papano.

So wag na kamo sya magmukmok. Magbigay tayo ng deadline sa loneliness. Ok lang mag-sulk konti pero after that, bangon tayo and do something. Sabi nga ng song ni Aaliyah "If at first you don't succeed, dust yourself off and try again." Kaya nya yan.

[superbubly]

how about my friend din naman na nbsb pero there's problem about her hearing, she said na how can I find someone na maintindihan yung situation niya? how can I give her advise din? although I know I'm not in the position to advice her don't lose hope... kasi we are in the same situation na nbsb din pero siya problema niya nga yung hard hearing daw siya kaya baka mahirapan siya na magkaboyfriend, sa tingin niyo? siguro na advise ko na lahat sa kanya na hindi naman siguro ganun yun kaya lang sarado yung isip niya sa sinasabi ko. Meron pa nga ba talaga na guy na muunawaan yung situation niya? In fairness to her, she work in a good company kahit ganun siya

[pret_ty68]

^
Sis sabihin mo sa kanya "All is fair in love and war". May mga lumpo, bulag at pipi nga na nakakapagasawa. Sa tingin ko naman kung talagang mahal  nang guy ang friend mo matatanggap nya ang kalagayan nya.

[superbubly]

^sis nasabi ko din yan sa kanya talagang sinarado na niya yung isip niya kakasad lang, pati tuloy ako super pray na sana matagpuan niya yung dream niya na mag kaboyfriend din, aysus same lang kami. Siguro naapektuhan yung time na may isang guy na nagkagusto sa kanya until nalaman ng guy yung sitwasyon niya, biglang nawalang parang bula kaya ayun sad but true din

[artemis26]

^ hi sis. I can perfectly understand your friend's situation sis superbubly. She's afraid of rejection lalo na siguro sa naging experience nya with the guy you've mentioned. Pero it doesn't mean she should give up hope. I would know because like her, I used to be really scared to fall in love given my situation (similar kami). Pero I am married now, and with a kid. I really takes some effort to communicate, pero we live in a modern world naman na marami nang ways of communication. Besides, you've mentioned that she's in a good company, so I think she's handling her hearing problem very well.

I believe din that love would find its way, especially if its meant to be  Just tell your friend to enjoy being single, and not despair. 

[superbubly]

^yeah sis, yakang yaka naman niya hawakan yung ganung sitwasyon but syempre its different kasi if we talk about someone special to us diba, tasaka tama ka yung rejections niya na yun ang nagpapawala ng pag asa na yun, I hate it pag sinasabi niya sa akin na ganun baka daw lahat ng guys di maiintindihan yung kalagayan niya, and I am happy to know na married ka na sis, pray ko din syempre yung friend kong yun love ko siya eh, and by the way she didn't like to use aid daw gusto niya natural kaya ayun, she used sign language to communicate sis, sasabihin ko yan sis yung sinabi mo sa akin at sana talaga mawala na yung fear of rejection niya na yun

[hazelbrown_eyes27]

@sprinkledust- tell your friend to keep herself busy! I tried Zumba, Body Combat, Body Jam, and BELLY DANCING! just started last week! That should keep her busy as well. Go to the gym and keep herself fit and sexy, and ENJOY! Get SEXY while waiting.

[Girltalker2]

HI janix athena,

My friend is almost turning 30 and she feels embarassed when then are people who are younger and getting married while here she is still an NBSB and has never dated before. She doesn't even feel pretty at all and prays to God for help in meeting someone.

But because she feels embarassed that she's an NBSB and doesn't feel pretty, she doesn't feel like going out either. She feels ashamed when she's at family gatherings kasi everyone younger has a b/f or g/f and she's an NBSB.

These are what she feels:
1. Not pretty
2. Not social or outgoing enough
3. Feels like no guy will like her b/c she's never had a b/f before
4. Feels like everyone is getting married and she's so behind in life
5. Compares with other people even if she doesn't want to, the comparison just comes around

She's losing hope in herself and prays and asks God for help but feels hopeless na talaga.

Sorry if I keep asking you for help, you always have great insightful advice. Thanks in advance.

Sis, nasa Diyos ang awa, pero nasa tao parin ang gawa.  No one can help your friend except herself.  Hindi mo naman sya puedeng i-force magpaganda kung ayaw nya. Hindi mo din sya puede basahan ng self-help books unless you have all the time in the world. Or baka puede mo sya samahan mag enroll sa personality development courses. Baka that can help. Manood sya ng mga makeover na palabas - How do I look?  or ugly duckling show ba yun yung lahat sila nagp pa plastic surgery then sino pinaka ok na outcome sa huli.

In any case, buti hindi ka nagsasawa sa friend mo. It can be draining you know.  Once a friend has a problem, you have tried everything to help her and have said your piece. Tapos matigas parin ang ulo at ayaw gumalaw.  It is not anymore your problem.  Ang gawin mo nalang i-tape recorder mo nalang lahat ng sinabi mo para everytime naiisip nya problema nya, may reminder sya what to do, at di mo na kelangan ulit-ulitin lahat.

[janix athena]

^Tama si sis girltalker 2, sis sprinkledust. Sorry I haven't replied to your question yet, kasi I don't know what else I can say to help your friend have a different disposition. Parang na-exhaust ko na lahat ng advice ko.

What she needs to do is look at all the advice given here, then let us know how it works. Maybe then we can find out how else we can help.

[hazelbrown_eyes27]

@superbubly- Tell your friend:DO NOT SELF PITY! NEVER EVER! theres always hope!:)may mga deaf and mute and mga midgets, pilay, bulag etc.. but they never lost hope in finding a partner and they do find someone! perfect example is Julia Montes real mom who is a deaf and mute but, she has a boyfriend! Parang ikakasal na nga ata.

Other people might find them as " kawawa" because of their disability. So the least that they should do is to pity themselves. Dapat nga inuuplift nila sarili nila. kinakaawaan na nga sila ng mga ibang tao, kakawawaain pa rin nila sarili nila? They should prove other people who doesnt have better things to do wrong na hindi sila kawawa at hindi dapat sila kinakaawaan.

The more na maniniwala ang taong kawawa nga siya pag nag self pity siya. Kasi siya mismo naaawa sa sarili niya.

[superbubly]

^sis hazel natakot naman ako kala ko nagagalit ka na sa akin hehe. Thanks sa advise sis, actually di naman niya kinakawawa yung sarili parang siguro ayaw lang niya isipin na most guys na nakilala niya biglang nawawala na lang pag nalalaman na yung situation niya, nag seself pity lang siguro siya pag boyfriend na yung pinag uusapan but other than that wala na, mataas naman yung tiwala niya sa sarili except lang talaga sa mga boys dun na siya nawawalan ng hope na meron pang guy na makakaintindi sa kanya.

[hazelbrown_eyes27]

^ Tell her if those men go if and when they learn about her hearing, then they are NOT the one for her. A brave man will not go just because of that. Cowards do!

Maybe she should just be thankful that they leave,simply because they are too shallow.She is a person, not an ear. There's more  to like about her than just not having a good hearing capability.Spare herself from heartaches and let go of the cowards.

If God Delays, it doesnt mean a NO. It means he's just not for you. Wait, he has someone better.So, have faith.

[superbubly]

^thanks sis sabihin ko yan sa kanya sana nga lang maging open na siya talaga

[hazelbrown_eyes27]

Sabi nila " heartaches are God's way of saying WRONG WAY!

[tomatostellar]

makipag friend sya sa mga bading para lumandi ng konti =p LOL
pero it would be nice if someone can influence your friend to be more outgoing tsaka ok din kung ang mga nakakasama nya e hindi masyado nagfofocus sa pagiging nbsb nya;