FayeP,
Palagay ko ang nasa isip ni hubby mo is the gastusin. Pero kung tutuusin mo, puede rin naman kayong solemnize your marriage in church with just your immediate families present - hindi na kailangang engrande.
Tama si whitelady17, palambing ang hingi niyan - suspetsa ko yun ang ginawa niya kaya may plano na silang pakasal in church next year - yun ang intindi ko ha.
Pero you know nung ako - we got married in a Philippine embassy in Europe kasi that time in the mid 1970s (hindi ka pa siguro pinapanganak that time ano?), so ayun tapos na yung civil wedding. I wanted to get married in church too, pero vehement no ang sagot ng asawa ko that time. Lahat ng friends naming priests and nuns who were in that university town doing their PhDs would visit us and remind us about the importance of getting married in church, and me I would just stare while my husband engaged in debate with them (medyo matinik sa theology ang asawa ko, kasi dating seminarian din naman). Result: we did not get married in church. That year nor the next year. Feelings ko: Sad. Very, very sad. Guilty. Parang I was living in sin.
Then we got done with graduate school and came back to the Philippines. Ask na naman ako sa kanya if puede na ba we do a church wedding. Ganun pa rin. Loud NO ang sagot. So ganun pa rin din feelings ko. Very very sad. Very very guilty. Until one day, hindi ko na talaga makayanan yung guilt-feeling. Nagsumbong ako sa dad niya - na hindi pa kami kasal sa simbahan. E yung dad and mom niya were the couple head nung ministry for family life dun sa kanila, at sila pa nga ang nagbibigay ng pre-cana. So, you can just imagine how incredulous my dad-in-law felt. Sabi niya, hayaan mo, iha, I will talk with him.
One month later, my hubby told me na uuwi kami sa province at dun na ikakasal. Dinagdagan pa niya ng salita na bahala raw ako mamroblema kung saan ako hahagilap ng pera para sa baro, sa singsing (we did not have rings for our civil wedding, we could not afford it, mababa lang naman kasi ang scholarship grant allowances namin), pati na rin pambili ng air ticket namin papunta sa kanila. Buti na lang I was already working that time, and eligible to take out a loan from our office. I took out that loan and bought our tickets. I did not buy us any clothes anymore - I just picked out one of my dresses that matched one of his shirts - light blue sila pareho - and then I discovered that di na kakasya ang pera para sa rings, so I did not buy rings na. I did not tell hubby na hindi ako nakabili ng wedding rings.
Pagdating namin sa province, sa interview pa lang with the priest, we were told to prepare the rings, and my hubby said yes meron na, and I said no wala pa, kinulang ang pera ko. The priest told my husband, you prepare that - not your wife. Si hubby naman, naguluhan na, so lapit kay MIL. MIL told us to go to her alahera and pick out a set. We got a set at 2 thousand pesos; 12 karats yun.
Then kinasal na kami in church - with just my hubby's family and close family friends. I did not tell my family about it. Kasi alam kong pihado, katakot-takot na lecture ang aabutin ko. May konting handaan where nag-bake ng cake ang MIL ko, and nagpahanda pa ng lechon. Then our toddler daughter, on seeing the cake, sang "happy birthday to you" and everyone laughed and had a jolly time.
Yun.
Mommy Fe
