A Sweet Goodbye - An open letter

[princess_brat]

I know I ought to let you go already. But how I could I let go of someone that was never mine to begin with. This goodbye would have been my nth attempt to get you out of my system. Yet why do I have this feeling that every time that I am stepping back away from you, you are there again trying to sway me not to. This craze has gone too long and I need to end it before you can hurt me once again.

You were blunt enough to let me know where do we really stand to begin with but can you blame me for hoping for something more. I have invested much time, attention and feelings towards you. I know that you didn’t ask me to do that but I did and I’m not regretting it all. The days I’ve spent with you are my happiest so far and that would also be my fondest memory. Nights are turned to day just to help you adjust on your new environment. Notwithstanding the 2 hour sleep I would still tend to talk to you in the wee hours of the morning trying to make you feel better because you needed someone to calm you down. You then became my only world. Instead of building my social network my days were spent in front of the computer, Skype and Yahoo Messenger became my best friends. Months went by and our routine was like this, I never complained about it. You made me feel that there is something going on between us, it’s like we are more than just friends but we are less of being lovers. I felt contented with that, I didn’t solicit for more. And maybe that was my greatest mistake. I should have asked where this so-called “friendship” will lead us. I should have not just assumed. I should have talk to you about it.

Suddenly, the calls became less and I felt that something big is about to explode on my face. And I was right, later that night you told me that you have found someone already. You were very ecstatic about it that you weren’t able to hear the pain that I’m experiencing. Hearing that news nearly shattered my world. It is with tears that I’ve uttered my most painful reply “I am so happy for you” Though the universe can feel the irony inside me. From the moment you said that you are happy with her I knew deep in my heart that our “fairytale” has ended. You can no longer be my prince and I wouldn’t be that princess that you will bring home to your castle.

Trying to move on and forget you is the hardest thing to do. Hurting became a part of my daily routine. I can no longer count the buckets of tears that I cried for you. I know I have no right to question you about your decision since there was never an “us” from the start. I just assumed or then again maybe you led me to think that way. Every sad song I equated to you, to “us”. I was indeed broken hearted. In my end I knew it was love and it makes me so sad that it ended before it even started.

Time passed and little by little my devastated heart healed. Thankful for my family and friends who made me realize that I can be whole again. I decided to let go of the pain and embraced a new beginning. I came to reach a very important life changing decision. Though it was hard, I decided to go out from my comfort zone. Determined to forget you I began a new chapter of my life in an unfamiliar place.

It took lots of time and patience until I have reached moment that I’ve felt I can wholeheartedly say that I can open my heart once again. But looks like Universe is playing a game on me, as I was closing the “you and me” chapter of my book all of a sudden by a twist of faith our paths crossed again.

We were very casual from the start, epitome of friends who strive catching up and trying to make up from the lost time. It felt good to talk to you once again. It was just like the old times. Laughing at each other’s joke and talking about anything under the sun. I’ve missed the friend I have with you. You can still manage to bring out the best and the worst of me. You still know how to make me smile and make me feel loved. Little did I know that that silly conversation we have is the start of another roller-coaster ride of emotions.

The communication lines are now again open. Yahoo Messenger and Skype are back to the circulation. You became my constant virtual companion once more. As much as I’ve wanted to shield my self from you there is a big part of me that simply can’t resist you. I have yet again fall for your sweet lies. I should have known better this time but to no avail I failed again. Maybe because I still long to be with you, I still and will always love you.

The amount of hurt is not as much as it was before, but I felt so stupid to be lied to for the second time around. I have again let you played with my feelings. You have made me believe that it is our turn now. All along I thought I was really over you, guess that’s what I’m trying to believe yet not what I really feel. I don’t know how much time will it take me to forget about the hurtful moments that you made me feel once more.

You will always occupy a special place in my heart. I am still holding on to the thought that someday we could still end up together. I can still picture out my future with you by my side. But at the moment I need to move away from you before you can again ruin the new world that I just started to build. For now, I’ll be moving on to the next chapter of my book. I will try hard to not include you with it. Let me chase my dreams as I let you chase yours, let me embrace the chance to be loved by someone who will love me as much as I love him. Let me have my fair chance of a happy ending.

I have decided not to cling to my past anymore, and when I say past you are included with it. For the meantime I won’t entertain any of your calls until the time that I can finally say that I am over you. Even if we didn’t end up together, I don’t want to lose you completely. I hope that in time we can still talk like the old friends that we are. I am still thanking God for bring you to my life, you have brought so many wonderful changes in it. You have made me the strong and matured person that I am right now. At the end of the day when someone opened my book of life, almost all of the chapter you are included in it. I still am not closing my door for you because if Destiny would wants the two of us to be together, the Universe will play its part to make our paths cross again in the future - no matter how impossible it may seem. Maybe by that time it would be “our” time. But until then I’m gonna say my sweet goodbye to you Gio, until we meet again.

[minikeyklush]

@sis princess_brat

its very touching and one thing lang yung pwede ko masabi sis *hugs, you will be okay. Just pray and pray and pray then start to move on. Eventually it'll pass. Godbless sis! 

[phurple0515]

^^ sis, i feel for you.  I was the same with my ex pero im so glad i'm over it na happily with hubby. 

ang masasabi ko lang, there is someone better for you, someone worth your time and love.  Someone who will appreciate you for everything and return the love you are giving him

[*CuTiE*]

im so moved by your letter sis... i can feel every word said...

good luck sis princess_brat. just stay strong and pray. yeah, as sis phurple0515 said, someone better is there for you....

hugs to you sis....

[princess_brat]

@sis princess_brat

its very touching and one thing lang yung pwede ko masabi sis *hugs, you will be okay. Just pray and pray and pray then start to move on. Eventually it'll pass. Godbless sis! 

Thanks sis. Yun nga lang [textspeak!] ang ginagawa ko ngayon, praying that in time i will be able to move on

[princess_brat]

^^ sis, i feel for you.  I was the same with my ex pero im so glad i'm over it na happily with hubby. 

ang masasabi ko lang, there is someone better for you, someone worth your time and love.  Someone who will appreciate you for everything and return the love you are giving him

i'm still positive about it sis, someday someone will come along and would kiss away the heartaches from the past

[princess_brat]

im so moved by your letter sis... i can feel every word said...

good luck sis princess_brat. just stay strong and pray. yeah, as sis phurple0515 said, someone better is there for you....

hugs to you sis....

Thanks sis!! continously praying that everything will be ok in His perfect time

[loveann]

@princess_brat: hugs sis

[princess_brat]

@princess_brat: hugs sis

Thanks sis!!

[southpaw]

oh my, sis!!     you have articulated the feelings that I have for a certain "GIO" in my life.
nakakarelate ako!

Keep on praying lang, sis. Be thankful na lang that you have felt all those emotions and that you have experienced to love. You know what they say, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

[princess_brat]

oh my, sis!!     you have articulated the feelings that I have for a certain "GIO" in my life.
nakakarelate ako!

Keep on praying lang, sis. Be thankful na lang that you have felt all those emotions and that you have experienced to love. You know what they say, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

Oo nga sis, it's been 2 months since we last talked. I actually told him how I really feel and told him that i have to start forgetting him already. Medyo ok na naman din ako. Continous prayers lang talag
a

[iheartkulot]

grabe, magkaiba man tayo ng kwento pero parang pakiramdam ko, ako to. hehe.

kakatouch sis and kudos

such a brave lady to finally choose letting go. hindi kasi madali...and nakakaproud ka sis kasi ginawa mo yung tama for your own sake.

[tey_roch19]

congrats sis.. i've been there recently lang.. i just want to share the 2 principles na natutunan ko... 1.BILOG ang mundo.. may corresponding consequences sa lahat ng actions na ginawa natin o ng mga tao sa paligid natin... let's hope and pray na sana palagi tayong nasa gitna... 2. sa isang KWENTO, kahit na inapi pa tayo, we should not do anything na magiging MALI pa tayo sa kwentong iyon.

sobra [textspeak!] inabot ko, share ko lang 7yrs kming bf/gf then, march this yr nawala sya bgla ng walang paalam..., nalaman ko na may iba pala na dalawa kmi.. dec pa cla... i can't bear the pain, bec we've planned that we'll settle down dec. this yr. so aun, nabalitaan ko na kinasal na this sunday lang....
i cried a lot, sobrang hirap dumating sa point na pinaglaban ko pa sya pro im much better nung ni let go ko sya.. akala ko katapusan n ng mundo nung mga time na umiiyak ako... but now, Praise God na nkakatawa na ulit ako.
LILIPAS din lahat ng nararamdaman mong skit... just focus and be firm sa decision mo. TIME will come, you'll se you will get over him.

[princess_brat]

grabe, magkaiba man tayo ng kwento pero parang pakiramdam ko, ako to. hehe.

kakatouch sis and kudos

such a brave lady to finally choose letting go. hindi kasi madali...and nakakaproud ka sis kasi ginawa mo yung tama for your own sake.

ay nako, moving on is really never that easy. but with prayers, supportive family and friends beside you eh mas nagiging madali tanggapin. Pero andun pa din yung times na gusto ko pa din siya kausapin, it really takes lot of self control not to give in.

[princess_brat]

congrats sis.. i've been there recently lang.. i just want to share the 2 principles na natutunan ko... 1.BILOG ang mundo.. may corresponding consequences sa lahat ng actions na ginawa natin o ng mga tao sa paligid natin... let's hope and pray na sana palagi tayong nasa gitna... 2. sa isang KWENTO, kahit na inapi pa tayo, we should not do anything na magiging MALI pa tayo sa kwentong iyon.

sobra [textspeak!] inabot ko, share ko lang 7yrs kming bf/gf then, march this yr nawala sya bgla ng walang paalam..., nalaman ko na may iba pala na dalawa kmi.. dec pa cla... i can't bear the pain, bec we've planned that we'll settle down dec. this yr. so aun, nabalitaan ko na kinasal na this sunday lang....
i cried a lot, sobrang hirap dumating sa point na pinaglaban ko pa sya pro im much better nung ni let go ko sya.. akala ko katapusan n ng mundo nung mga time na umiiyak ako... but now, Praise God na nkakatawa na ulit ako.
LILIPAS din lahat ng nararamdaman mong skit... just focus and be firm sa decision mo. TIME will come, you'll se you will get over him.

Oo nga sis, i'm really waiting for that time that I can finally say that I am over him. Not now but in the near future I will.

[gurlzat03]

goodluck sis.. makakaya mo din yan when the right time comes.. hindi ka nag-iisa sis, mag-7 years na rin kami last year when he decided to break up with me a week before our supposed to me anniversary.. family & friends really plays a great role in my life during that time.. ginawan ko talaga ng paraan na ma-divert ang attention ko sa madaming bagay, nag-rehab din ako sa facebook for about 3 months kasi masakit para sa 'kin lahat ng mga nababasa ko dun.. then come January this year, I promised my friends that I will be okay and so I decided to delete him from my friends list.

how am I lately? minsan naiisip ko, what if I take the risk to win him back? pero there's this feeling na things will never be the same again kaya I decided not to take the risk.. hanggang ngayon, I found myself na binabasa 'yung mga last email communication namin, pero hanggang dun na lang.. importante sa ngayon, wala akong nasasaktang tao.. I feel that I'm better now nung nawala sya, and he's always in my prayer na sana okay sya lagi despite everything that happened between us..

kung kinakaya ko sis, I know kakayanin mo din.. Just be ready because the best is yet to come.. masasanay ka din na wala sya sa buhay mo..

[princess_brat]

@gurlzat03 ako din sis, i've deleted him from my YM, Skype and other accounts. Though kabisado ko pa din. hahaha!! i guess this is one of the easiest way to forget him, to totally get him out of my system.

i'm just holding on to the thought that "God is preparing something huge for me"

[riaenvodka]

very touching sis...but I know that you are brave enough to face any adversaries...for truly,, a great warrior prays and fight....God bless to all of you mga sisses na nagshare...

i had several break ups already but right now, i keep on praying that God will finally lead me to the right path....sa kanya lang tayo kukuha ng lakas...

[nigella]

sis princess_brat, omg talaga! parang life story ko tong binabasa ko... sobrang sakto talaga sa  nangyari sa kin... unbelievable! iniisip ko nga baka isang tao lang yung kilala natin. buti na lang na-mention mo gio yung  pangalan nya. 

alam mo sis, speaking from experience, hindi talaga madali mag-move on... 1 1/2 yrs ago nangyari sa kin yung devastating confession nung gio ko na he already found his someone special (sakto kung ano yung kwento mo, ganun din yung nangari sa kin)... kaya i know how you feel... sobrang painful talaga... sa umpisa normal reaction talaga yung umiwas ka kase sobrang sakit hindi mo sya kayang makita... pero after mawala yung sakit bigla mo sya ma-mimiss... hindi yung romantic side, ang mami-miss mo talaga sobra yung "friendship"... bale yung sa story ko, after 2 mos. lang he broke up with his gf... kaya nung nalaman ko yung nangyari, naging confidante na naman nya ko... dahil love ko talaga and kahit papano umaasa pa din ako, i gave him another chance at pinapasok ko ulit sya sa buhay ko... pero after lahat ng nangyari things were never the same again.  habang tumatagal lalong nagiging malinaw din kung bakit hindi naging kami. pero dahil nanghihinayang ako sa friendship kaya hindi ko sya totally ma-let go.... until recently...  ang masakit na part na nangyari sa kin... sobrang tagal bago ko na-realize na hindi nya ko ma-appreciate kahit bilang kaibigan.  imagine, 2 consecutive bdays ko na hindi man lang ako ma-greet mapa-text man or sa fb... hindi naman ako nanghihingi ng gift... a simple greeting lang masaya na ko. parang hirap syang ibigay... samantalang valentine's day kahit nga mother's day (kahit di pa nga ko mother) nag-greet sya sa kin... big deal talaga sa kin yung bday ko kc, special day ko yun syempre... madami pang instances na sobrang taken for granted ako... lahat yung pinapalagpas ko... ganun talaga pag bulag ka... pero sobrang nakakapagod talaga...

kaya advise ko sa yo kung pwede mga after 10yrs mo na sya ulit kausapin ... siguro naman medyo nakalimot ka na by that time... kase sobrang hirap talaga pag sobrang mong pinatagal... mahirapan ka ilet go... kaya wag mo na ko gayahin. siguro bata ka pa... marami ka pa makikila... ako i'm on my mid 30's na... waste of time talaga yung ginawa ko... pero sinasabi ko na lang sa sarili ko, no regrets kase nga nagmahal lang ako... sa maling tao nga lang. 

pag-pray nyo na lang ako na sana final goodbye na to... sobrang katangahan na talaga to... yan ang pinagpepray ko matagal na... yung makalimutan sya... minsan gusto ko na magtampo kay lord kase parang sobrang tagal ko na hinihiniling na mawala na sya sa buhay ko pero andyan pa din sya... hay sorry mga sis, naglalabas lang ako ng sama ng loob...

[princess_brat]

very touching sis...but I know that you are brave enough to face any adversaries...for truly,, a great warrior prays and fight....God bless to all of you mga sisses na nagshare...

i had several break ups already but right now, i keep on praying that God will finally lead me to the right path....sa kanya lang tayo kukuha ng lakas...

Thanks sis and yeah prayers do make wonders!!