after break up, can we still be friends?

[gurlzat03]

^ ganyan din sis ang gustong mangyari ng ex-bf ko before, maging friends kami right after the break up. buti na lang I was strong enough to refuse the friendship... time heals all wounds, we just have to learn to let it heal over time.. trust God above anything else, he knows what's good for us.

[mom_G]

^^ so true sis!  sobrang hirap to be friends right after a break-up kasi meron ka pang special feelings for the person... mahirap mag-pigil and hindi umasa.  when BOTH of you have moved on, and this usually takes long time, pwede na maging friends ulit (although hindi na sobrang close friends siguro).

[gurlzat03]

^ i agree sis.. plan ko nga, in case lang naman na magre-reach out ulit si ex-bf na maging friends kami, i would tell him na saka na lang 'pag married na sya. 

[red_one]

pede naman siguro maging friends pa rin, pero not immediately after the break-up.
in my case, siguro 4 years after saka lang kami naging friends uli. pero syempre di na tulad ng dati.

[jaykei]

at my part, magbest friends kami, and we both know na may feeling pa rin kami with each other plus complicated yung status namin sa both ends ng family namin. hirap lalo na kung may gf sya tapos ako walang love life. ewan ko ba kung bakit o t**** lang ako pero andun pa din na umaasa ka. lalo na kung tinanong mo sya kung sino ang mas sweet at mas maganda, tapos ang sasabihin nya ay ikaw. hahaha. in Gods time, maayos din kung ano man ang dapat maayos at dadating din ang dapat dadating para sa iyo. haha. for the record, untikan na kaming magpakasal ng ex/bestfriend ko.

[babyjapnurse01]

Civil pwede, pero friends? I dont think so, iba ko ituring friends ko eh, haha! I can be civil with my exes but depende rin also with the nature of the breakup, if things got ugly kaya we broke up, well kalimutan na ang pagiging civil deadma nalang and act like I never knew him.

[iam_miel]

Civil pwede, pero friends? I dont think so, iba ko ituring friends ko eh, haha! I can be civil with my exes but depende rin also with the nature of the breakup, if things got ugly kaya we broke up, well kalimutan na ang pagiging civil deadma nalang and act like I never knew him.

binawi ko na sa puso ko yung in-offer kong friendship sa kanya..I only offered my friendship coz I know wala syang friends, lahat tinalikuran sya at niloko, pinerahan & some of them even got him into trouble (yung tipong demandahan na)..ako lang yung true sa kanya & even told him na sya ang bestfriend ko coz mahal na mahal ko talaga sya (regretfully until now)..pero dahil sa ginagawa nya sa akin ngayon, he said hindi kami f*ck buddies coz we still love each other? saksak nya sa baga nya yung love na sinasabi nya sa akin coz I dont believe it anymore..Ngayon alam ko na that his reason for making me believe that he still loves me is for me to hang on to me, para magamit nya pa din ako for sex at maging reserba..If I see him again, I might pull the "Amnesia Girl" thing on him, to act as if I dont know him, deadma na..I dont care kung mapikot ulit sya, kung w*langyain sya ng mga tinuturing nyang new friends ngayon..He never deserved my love at lalong hindi ang friendship ko..sorry if Im so mad, kahit siguro lumipas pa ang mga taon ayoko ng magcross pa ang mga paths namin..

[queendi]

pwede, pero palampas muna ng time...

[broken_heart]

aw..same na same ata tayo sis sa part na toh..i also tried to get back with him but he told me he's confused & wanted to let me go na talaga kahit yung tina-try naming friendship kaya I also said he can let go na..kaso he texted me na he wanted to see me daw this friday samantalang nung Tues lang kami nag-let go..nabasa ko pa post nya sa FB na he's so confused..dapat na din ba akong bumitaw AS IN TOTALLY? super dami ng pinagdaanan namin kya siguro parehas namin ndi ma-let go yung isat-isa..help din po..

Hay ang dami ng nangyari since I posted this but the truth still remains...we've broken up. Ang hirap maging friends, yun nga lang makita ng malayuan ang sakit na how much more makikipagcontact pa! Anyway, I let go of him although he's saying that he's conflicted and maybe someday we'll get back together. I'm not waiting/hoping for that kahit na sinabi pa nya na mahal pa rin niya ako. Ako bumitaw na ako since he let go of me first. Lagi ko tanong sa kanya: how can you say you love and decide to live your life without me? Kahit na anong sabihin niya, hindi na ako umaasa.

[babyjapnurse01]

^ Question lang sis, are you having marital problems recently?

I think you are just curious kung ano ang nangyari sa kanya. And because he's avoiding you na, lalo kang naffrustrate because hindi mo siguro ineexpect na he can ignore you just like that.

Leave him alone nalang sis, parehas na kayong married and may kids eh, if he doesnt wanna get in touch with you, let him be, karapatan naman nya yun. Masakit din naman din kasi on his part na na-let go mo sya and nakapag move on ka ng mabilis after the breakup.

Let go nalang, at the end of the day ikaw lang rin naman makakapagsabi kung ano yung totoong nararamdaman mo for him, but the thing is, you have to keep in mind na you shouldnt welcome that "attraction" sa kanya because of your current status narin. 

[freeswan]

after breakup, mas ok na wag muna mag-usap. as in no communication at all. for me, that is the best way na makapag move on. pag nag uusap pa kasi through text, may emotions pa kasi kaya umaasa ka pang magbabalikan kayo and masakit.

for me, it took us mga 5 years na d naguusap, now ok na kami. we can officially say we're friends. although in my heart, may malaking spot siya dito kasi siya yung pinakalove ko sa lahat ng naging ex's ko pero alam ko na na wala na akong babalikan. kaya now i'm very comfortable of him being a friend kasi wala na yung feeling na "nagchicheat ba ako sa asawa ko?". kaya ko na siyang tingnan with his wife and kids and i just laugh about our past. 

[babyjapnurse01]

^ then thats prolly the reason why you are exploring other men, kasi bored ka sa marriage mo. but then thats not a valid reason for you to welcome the feeling na parang nagugustuhan mo ulit your ex.

come on sis, you know it wouldnt be really hard to move on and let go of that guilt and frustration, hindi naman fresh ang breakup nyo eh, its been years and im pretty sure parehas kayong okay na sa kanya kanyang buhay nyo. dont be blinded by yung pagka-bored mo sa marriage mo ngayon, gaya ng sabi sa isang movie na napanood ko, hindi por que may kulang sa loob ng bahay e sa labas ka kaagad maghahanap, try to fix things with your hubby, mas magbebenefit ka pa dun.

you dont just go around looking for another guy when you get bored of your partner sis, alam mo ang mali, push yourself to do the right thing.

[baliwsayo]

sats, tingin ko nacha-challenge ka lang kasi nga dati patay na patay sa yo tapos ngayon hindi na. May ganyan din kasi akong ugali hehe  Wag mo na guluhin buhay mo, mabuti nga at di nagrereply.. kasi pag nagreply yun tapos ayain ka magkita, hindi natin alam ang puwedeng mangyari.. alala mo yun turo ng nanay ni Rizal sa kanya tungkol sa gamo gamo? Lumayo ka sa apoy kung ayaw mo masunog/mapaso. 

[kaya_3]

Has anyone ever been in this kind of situation, when the relationship came into its conclusion, both parties decided to be just friends? Nagwowork ba ito?

My bf and I broke up just recently (we both agreed to it), and we decided to be civil coz we work together. but then, outside work, we text each other.

Since fresh pa yung break up, I am still hurt and i think ganon din siya. He said he cannot just forget about me and i feel the same way.

Naguguluhan ako kasi I want us back together but I don't know how he feels. I have delusions na mahal pa rin nya ako. And at the same time, i have this thinking na if ever magbabalikan kami, better be friends first to build a stronger foundation. Pero if I do that, I am afraid he will find someone new, and I will regret not doing the first plan. Ang hirap!!

Sa palagay niyo? POV naman! Thanks!

I think you should be friends first. If it grows deeper, then possible 2nd chance. However, if it doesn't happen the way you want it (which is magkabalikan), that only means you two are not meant for each other.