Tawa muna tayo! Thread 2

[Nhetskii]

nabasa ko from FB

ama narinig na nagsasalita ang anak habang natutulog...

Anak: Goodnight mommy, goodnight daddy, goodnight lola, bye lolo

kinabukasan, namatay ang lolo...

nung gabi, narinig na naman nya na nagsasalita ang anak

Anak: Goodnight mommy, goodnight daddy, bye lola,

kinabukasan, namatay ang lola...

nung gabi, narinig na naman nya na nagsasalita ang anak

Anak: Goodnight mommy, bye daddy

hindi natulog ang ama........

kinabukasan namatay ang driver... 

[crazylove]

^hahaha! natawa talaga ko sa mga jokes ditto..

[kachich]

A C-130 was about to crash in Tacloban; there were 5 passengers on board, but only 4 parachutes. The first passenger said, "I am President Aquino, the chosen one. The Philippines needs me, I can't afford to die." So he took the first parachute and left the plane. The second passenger, Mar Roxas, said, "I am the next president of the Philippines, so Filipinos don't want me to die." He took the second parachute and jumped out of the plane. The third passenger, Dinky Soliman, said, "I'm the Secretary of DSWD, a lot of people depend on me." So she grabbed the parachute next to her and jumped. The fourth passenger, Dick Gordon, said to the fifth passenger, a 10-year-old Boy Scout, "I have lived a full life, and served my country the best I could. I will sacrifice my life and let you have the last parachute." The Boy Scout said, "That's okay, Mr. Gordon. There's a parachute left for you. President Aquino grabbed my SCHOOL BAG."

[no736]

PATIENT:
doc, i have a problem. everyday i go take a dump every morning at 6AM, regularly.

DOCTOR:
well, that's great! having a regular bowel movement is a good healthy practice! so what seems to be the problem then?

PATIENT:
doc, i wake up at 8AM.

[joevicko]

ito share ko:

Isang araw meron killer ng mga bisaya na gumagala sa isang subdivision:

Tatlong bisaya ang takot na takot at nagusap, (Lorna, Minda at Perla)

Lorna: naku mga frinds, ned naten mag engat sa pagsasaleta, baka makasalobong naten eyong pomapatay ng mga besaya

Ng minsan, nkasalubong ng killer si Lorna sa daan,

Killer: miss bisaya ka ba?
Lorna: Hende!
Killer: Bang!
Lorna: Patay


Takot na takot sina Minda at Perla kaya nag praktis sila mag salita ng hindi mahahalatang bisaya sila

Killer: Miss bisaya ka ba?
Minda: Hindi po
Killer: mabuti naman, anong pangalan mo?
Minda: Menda pu
Killer: Bang! (binaril si minda)

Binalingan naman si Perla

Killer: eh ikaw miss, bisaya ka ba?
Perla: Hindi po
Killer: Anong pagngalan mo?
Perla: Perla po
Killer: okay good, sige makakaalis ka na
(Perla, sa tuwa, napasigaw ng “YES”)

Perla: Yis!

BANG!! Perla patay na din

[sxymnky]

Narinig ko lang naman sa kapitbahay naming mayabang...
Pare magkano bili mo sa cellphone mo?
Pare 2800 lang
Pare ready to wi-fi na ba yan pare? Ready to wi-fi ha?inulit ulit pa.

[tomatostellar]

nag joke yung friend A ko, it got funnier nung jinoke ko sya kay friend B

friend A: sino pumatay kay koko crunch?
me: sino?
friend A: Edi Cereal Killer (serial killer) 

aba pwede,, share ko kay friend B

me: sino pumatay kay koko crunch?
friend B: ha? patay na si Koko Crunch?! *with matching shocked face*

[sugardrop]

^
Baka akala nya si Coco Martin.

[tomatostellar]

^hindi hahaha.. coz sabe nya pa.. "diba si kellogs yun..yung nasa kahon" lol

[sugardrop]

^
Hahaha! Natawa ako lalo kasi alam nya na character lang.

[pretty empress]

hahaha funny nga..

[sxymnky]

eto na naman yung kapitbahay naming mayabang but this time lasing.....

Pare graduate ako....

Graduate ako ng high school commerce

[chichi143]

natawa ko dun sa tatlong bisaya hahaha

[awesomemaia]

Ahahhahha!!! Ang saya nito natawa talaga ko lalo na yung kay polar_bear! Empoyment daw at yung story umatend pa talaga hah!! sigurista ayos! ok tong thread na ito kabawas stress Upupup!! hanap muna ko masshare

[pretty empress]

MOTHER:  your great aunt just passed away. LOL

DAVID: why is that funny?

MOHER: it's not funny david, what do you mean?

DAVID: mom LOL means laughing out loud

MOTHER: oh my goodness!! i sent that to everyone, i thought it meant lots of love! i have to call everyone oh god!!

[angelpat]

Boy: Oy, laro tayo ng taguan.

Girl: Eh, ano ang premyo kapag nahanap kita?

Boy: Kiss.

Girl: Eh, paano kung hindi kita mahanap?

Boy: Hmmm, kainis naman toh!  Basta nandoon lang ako sa likod ng drum.

[sugardrop]

^
Haha! Ang cute!

[angelpat]

Nanay: Hoy, bata ka!

Anak: Hoy, bata ako!  Saan ako galing?  Alas dos na ng madaling araw!  Ang tanda ko na.  Hindi ko ba alam na nag-aalala sila Nanay at Tatay!  Walang hiya akong bata!  Hala, sige lumayas ako at huwag nang babalik!

Nanay: Grabe ka naman itatanong ko lang naman kung kumain ka na?

Anak: Ay sorry, Nanay.  Na-excite lang ako.

[snowflakesdance]

^nakakatawa na nakakainis lmao! inunahan ang nanay!

[angelpat]

Amo: Inday, ilang liters yung Coke na nandiyan sa lamesa?

Inday: 4 liters po Ati.

Amo: Sigurado ka?

Inday: Opo Ati.  Liter C, liter O, liter K, liter E.  4 liters po Ati.

Amo: