Tawa muna tayo! Thread 2

[chichi143]

WAHAHAHA dami kong tawa!!! 

[kayzkulet]

this made my day.. mag hapon akong nag basa at tawa lang ng tawa..

just want to share this, medyo korny pero pwede na

hubby and I chatting on facebook during lunch time.

me: anong ulam mo?

hubby: inihaw na tuna ata yun.

me: aw may ata?

hubby: parang tuna e, tulingan siguro..

me: ah BAKA.. ( what i mean is "maybe")

hubby: HINDI BAKA, ISDA YON! ISDA! hahahaha

me: GRRRRRRRRRRRR!

[sweetashoney]

hahaha kakaaliw ang thread na ito fave ko yung nasa page 6 ata yun, yung estudyante sa jeep nangungulangot tapos tinanong siya ng ale kung ano kinukuha niya, ang sagot niya ay nursing, tapos sabi ng ale "ah, akala  ko kulangot" hahah basta lang wagas ang tawa ko dito, siguro kasi tungkol sa kulangot haha

[pretty empress]

nabasa ko lang sa twitter, bentang benta sa akin.. KAMPANA KA BA?  t**** LANG? t**** LANG? t**** LANG? 

[comp_nurse]

I just remember this classic madre jokes


Isang bus naholdap

Holdaper: lahat ng lalaki makakababa na... Lahat ng babae maiwan! Rerape pin namin kayong lahat!
Pokpok: mamang holdaper kahit ako na lang po ang gahasain niyo wag niyo na po silang idamay. Maawa na po kayo sa kanila!
Madre: weehhh, epal nito oh lahat nga daw eh lahat. Hayaan mo nga iyong holdaper sa trip niya!



3 madre nangungumpisal...

Madre1: father patawarin niyo po ko nakakita po ko ng ari ng lalaki
Father: ok sige magdasal ka ng 3 hail mary at maghilamos ka ng holy water tapos pinapatawad ka na ng Diyos.

Madre2: father patawarin niyo po ko nakahawak po ko ng ari ng lalaki
Father: ok sige magdasal ka ng 3 hail mary at 3 our father at mag hugas ka ng holy water tapos pinapatawad ka na ng Diyos.

Madre3: father aalis muna ko
Father: bakit sister hindi ka pa tapos ah
Madre3: magmu momog lang ako ng holy water baka maubusan ako eh.


Ano daw ang nasa gitna ng kumbento at seminaryo?


Sagot: edi bahay ampunan.

[gracita13]

Pedro: pre tagay tayo, nag-away kami ni misis eh.

Juan: ha? eh sino nanalo?

Pedro: sabihin na lang natin na ang huli kong sinabi eh "tumigil ka na at nagdidilim na paningin ko!"


Juan: Hahahaha! Wow astig! Bossing ka pala eh! Ano naman sabi nya?

Pedro: hindi ko na alam pre, nawalan na ako ng malay eh. Sakal sakal nya kasi ako nung sinabi ko yun!
 

[bratty]

hehe!

Grabe ang sarap talaga tumawa!

[sachagirl]

ngayon lang ako nakarating dito! nakakatawa!

[pretty empress]

NURSE:Bakit hinimatay sa
nerbiyos yung [textspeak!]
nyong ngppa-HIV test?
JUAN:Ewan ko ba
dyan,pnapalakas ko nga
loob nya,sabi ko 'Think
Positive!'

[changelessme]

I hope matawa kayo dito mga sisses

A man is walking behind his wife and says,
"Baby you are so fat now your bum looks like a washing machine."
The woman keeps quiet and keeps walking.

Bed time, the man is asking for sex.
The woman says, "I can't start the washing machine for such a small load.
You'll have to hand wash it!"

[changelessme]

Heto pa

Onions and Christmas Trees

A family is at the dinner table. The son asks his father, "Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?"

The father, surprised, answers, "Well, son, there are three kinds of boobs. In her 20s, a woman's are like melons, round and firm. In her 30s to 40s, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit. After 50, they are like onions."

"
Onions?"
"Yes, you see them and they make you cry."

This infuriated his wife and daughter so the daughter said, "Mum, how many kinds of "willies" are there?"

The mother, surprised, smiles and answers, "Well, dear, a man goes through three phases. In his 20's, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his 30s and 40s, it is like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his 50s, it is like a Christmas tree."

"A Christmas tree?"

"Yes. The tree is dead, and the balls are just for decoration.

[ayka]

for me nothing's funnier than real people answering real questions. i know you guys know these already but i just can't help myself. from the now defunct Wowowee.

Q: Kung ang suka ay vinegar, ano naman ang Inggles ng toyo?
A: Baliw?

Q: Kung vegetarian ang tawag sa kumakain ng gulay, ano ang tawag sa kumakain ng tao?
A: Humanitarian?

Q: Ano ang tinatanggal sa itlog bago ito kainin?
A: Buhok?
 
WTF?!!!   

[PinkAbyss]

love this thread. sayang di ako marunong magjoke, tagatawa lang ako.

[devilish_einjel]

eto mga sis, dami ko tawa nung nabasa ko to..

After sex, the girl is still touching the sex organ of the guy

BOY: Do you want more?
GIRL: No
BOY: bakit hawak mo pa din?
GIRL: may nami-miss lang ako
BOY: sino ex mo?
GIRL: hindi.. dati kasi may ganito din ako...

  haha.. LOL bading pala!

[gracita13]

What did the cockroach say to the man who was about to kill him?

You're just jealous that i can make your wife scream louder than you can

*pasaway na ipis toh*  haha!

[superbubly]

eto mga sis, dami ko tawa nung nabasa ko to..

After sex, the girl is still touching the sex organ of the guy

BOY: Do you want more?
GIRL: No
BOY: bakit hawak mo pa din?
GIRL: may nami-miss lang ako
BOY: sino ex mo?
GIRL: hindi.. dati kasi may ganito din ako...

  haha.. LOL bading pala!

hahaha eto talaga nakakatawa

[comp_nurse]

A man bought a robot that acts as lie detector test and slaps people who lie.. He brought it home and try it during dinner..

Man: son where have you been this afternoon?
Son: at school wherelse..
The robot slaps the son
Son: ok. Ok i lied. I watched a movie
Man: what movie?
Son: harry potter
The robot slaps him again..
Son: ok fine it's porn.. Happy now?!
Man: when i was you're age, i don't even know what porn is!...
The robot slaps the man
Wife: forgive him dear, he's your son anyway. You know, like father like son.
The robot slaps the wife.

[pretty empress]

eto narinig ko lang!

Boy: babe bakit amputi ng b00bs mo?
Girl: syempre di naarawan eh!
Boy: e bakit ang singit mo? Naarawan ba lage?

[Love88]

The best talaga pinoy humor. Walang katulad. tee hee!. Gusto ko mga erap jokes. And now aling dionisia na. Hahaha.

[gentai_chan]

Mister sa isang punerarya

Mister: Namatay ho ang lolo ko,gusto ko hong ipacremate.Magkano ho ba yun?

Manager : 10 thousand pesos ho.

Mister : Ang mahal naman,wala ho bang medyo mura?

Manager : Meron ho half cooked.

******************************************

Anak umuwi ng bahay. (galit)

anak: nay, pinapatawag kayo sa school!

nay: bakit? May ginawa ka na namang k*tarantad*han?

anak: ako ba? Baka ikaw, ikaw nga pinapatawag di ba?

*******************************************

Lola: Buboy! Buboy! magtago ka! Dumadating ang titser mo,absent ka kasi!

Buboy : Ikaw din lola,magtago ka rin!

LOla: Bakit pati ako,ikaw lang itong studyante nya?

Buboy : Kasi lola sabi ko libing mo ngayon kaya si titser gusto rin yatang makipaglibíng!