im dying

[sweet.trish]

kaya nga sis i wanna make sure muna na may lilipatan ako if ever na makapagdecide akong magresign. hindi pwedeng walang income ang mahal pa naman magpaaral ngayon. magkaiba naman kami ng department pati ng sked so during breaks ko lang sya nakikita pag nag aabang sa may locker area minsan.

ayoko na nga makaramdam ng kahit anong emotion for him. ayokong magalit mas lalong ayokong maging bitter.  ayoko magmukhang kawawa sa harap nya. galing ko nga magpretend na ok lang ako eh, pero nakakapagod, ang hirap!

feeling ko nga nagi-guilty lang yun eh kaya playing mr. nice guy na naman. kunwari kinakamusta ako, kung ok ako, mahal nya daw talaga ko. pero ayaw nya magmukhang masama na ibinasura ako porket dumating yung mag ina nya. wow! sakit talaga. ako pa talaga. tama nga ako, too good to be true sya! wish ko lang magpakatino na sya tutal andyan na yung family nya. dun sya magtino ng totoo at wag sa harap ng ibang tao.

siguro nga mukha akong madaling utuin kaya ako  yung naisip nyang lokohin.

[babyjapnurse01]

may ibang cases lang naman na ang taong galit eh nagmumukhang bitter, sa totoo lang mas mukha ka pa ngang kawawa and mukhang loser dahil okay kayo kahit na nalaman mo na yung tinatago sayo nyang boyfriend mo eh. you have all the right to get mad, pwedeng pwede mo nga sya iwasan eh.

ganito lang kasi yan, nung time na hindi mo pa alam na may pamilya sya, kawawa ka, kasi wala kang kamalay malay na niloloko ka, pero ngayon na alam mo nang may asawa't anak sya pero okay ka padin sa kanya, ikaw na talaga ang may kasalanan nyan. Think Vicki Belo-Hayden Kho-Katrina Halili. Ikaw si Katrina eh, more than yung pagiging victim mo, mas masama ang impact nung pag-kabit mo, especially now that you are aware na he has a family.

hindi sya playing mr nice guy, yan lang ang normal na instinct ng taong nabuko, damage control nalang kumbaga, kaya hindi nya sasabihin na he stayed with you for whatever petty reason he has, ang sasabihin talaga nyan mahal or minahal ka nya, kahit na halatang hindi naman talaga. 

[sweet.trish]

^ you're right sis. of course ayaw ko naman maging kabit. gusto ko na mag move on talaga. for me its over na, wala na kaming relasyon. though wala naman nagsabing "break na tayo". hindi naman na siguro kelangan sabihin yun. enough na yung panloloko nya. accepted ko na ngayon na hindi na kami. pero bakit ba hindi ko magawang totally magalit? pag nagmemessage sya gusto kong magreply na mahal ko pa rin sya.  sana wag na syang mag effort na makipag communicate sakin para hindi na rin ako mahirapang umiwas. pwede naman ganun eh! hindi naman ako naghahabol or what. ni hindi nga ako nag iinitiate ng text or call or ym. pinipilit ko yung sarili kong ignore na lang. pero most of the times (may instances pa rin naman na deadma lang talaga ko) nagrereply pa rin ako. geeez! ang gulo ko!

ewan ko if this is right pero nagse-self pity na naman ako and sobrang baba ng self-esteem ko. gusto ko na maging ok ulit! yung parang walang nangyari.

[babyjapnurse01]

^ alam mo sis, if what you are waiting for is for him to stop talking to you before you start moving on, walang mangyayari sayo. malamang hindi ka titigilan nyan, kakausapin at kakausapin ka nyan coz he knows you are always available to talk to him. so asan mo huhugutin yung pagmomove on mo kung ganyan ang mentality?

if you really want to move on, start now, use your kid as your motivation. you dont need a guy who would just lie to you. coz if you allow him to treat you that way and okay okay lang sayo, well then its safe to say that you deserve such treatment. ikaw ang may gusto nyan eh, kaya wala kang pwede sisihin but yourself.

mag-isip isip ka sis, alam mo naman kung anong tama eh, ayaw mo lang gawin kaya ang nirarason mo palagi, mahirap. hindi self pity ang tawag dyan sis, ang gusto mo lang mangyari mabura sa picture yung pamilya nya para maging okay kayo. ganun yun e.

[mommycute46]

mag-isip isip ka sis, alam mo naman kung anong tama eh, ayaw mo lang gawin kaya ang nirarason mo palagi, mahirap. hindi self pity ang tawag dyan sis, ang gusto mo lang mangyari mabura sa picture yung pamilya nya para maging okay kayo. ganun yun e.

Tama! Lahat naman talaga mahirap eh, but it doesn't mean na kung mahirap hindi kakayanin. It all start with the determination to do it. There are a lot of ways if you only wanted to. Sana huwag mo ng hintaying malaman ng wife niya ang tungkol sa inyo. It would be double pain to the wife as compared sa nararamdaman mo ngayon kapag nalaman niya. Why? Kasi asawa siya eh, nauna siya sa 'yo and she has all the right sa boyfriend mo. Sa 'yo pwedeng pwede siyang magalit, eh ikaw hindi ka pwedeng magalit sa kanya except sa boyfriend mo w/c is unfortunately asawa niya.

[babyjapnurse01]

^ at this point, hindi narin nga nya pwede sisihin si guy eh, the guy's dropping hints na nga na they should end it by telling her "i would still love you even if we part ways" but TS is clingy parin eh, she's still holding on kahit na sinasabi nya na ayaw nya na kay guy. wala na syang pwedeng sisihin because she already had the choice to let go pero di nya ginawa, she stayed and acted as if everythings still okay with her, even after knowing the fact that the guy is married. thats the price she has to pay for trying to prioritize yung feelings nya. which is so wrong.

unang step dyan, dont make yourself available for him. oras na maramdaman nya yan, makikita nya narin na lalayo rin ng kusa si guy. he only needs the first move to come from TS, hindi nya magagawa yun on his own out of delicadeza, damage control na yan si guy eh and na-hurt na ang ego because he knows na pahiya na sya because TS found out about his little secret.

now if threadstarter still opts to stay with the guy, wag ka na magreklamo or wag ka na dumaing because that emotional pain is clearly self-inflicted.

[hail2dgoddess]

sis wengertzz, kaw na din nagsabi na mahirap di ba?
hindi ako umaasang iiwan nya yung wife nya for me, pero i know na mahal nya rin ako. ewan ko. ayoko na mag isip. im still trying to act normal pero everytime maaalala ko sya bigla na lang ako malulungkot, yung parang gusto ko maiyak na lang kahit nasa mall ako. ayoko lang pilitin yung sarili ko na bigla syang kalimutan as if never sya nag exists.

nobody told you na kalimutan sya agad e.. its ok to treasure yung happy moments nyo together kasi part yun nga buhay mo naging masaya ka, you can be friends with him after this, but make sure you'll NEVER fall in love with him again.tama yung mga sis natin dito,iiyak mo lang,iiiyak mo hanggang sa wala ka nang maramdaman and you'll get to realize na dapat mo nang pulutin yung sarili mo..and start all over again. ilang taon ka bang nabuhay ng wala sya? ilang buwan or taon lang ba kayo nagkasama? wala namang taong hindi nasaktan,lahat tayo dumaan dyan,sa magkakaibang sitwasyon nga lang. mahal na kung mahal,pero ang alamko kasi pag mahal ka,di ka sasaktan sa kahit anong paraan..

[Churvakels]

You know what I learned from a recent break up, its being patient with time. I myself was dragged in a situation na gusto ko takasan, pero hindi siya nakatulong. Someone advised me to be calm and let time do it for me. Matigas ang ulo ko kasi hindi ako maka move on, until I found out that I love myself more than him. Pray for yourself na kayanin mo yung pain. Don't be hopeless. Do something about it, it's easy to say that you move on and forget it. That is the least advice I considered, pero its the most effective believe me.

"When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy. When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight." - Khalil Gibran

[sweet.trish]

medyo matagal din ah before ko binalikan tong thread. 
im much ok na mga sisters. i was out-of-town with my family. nakapag isip isip. naku ano bang drama ko! argh. i cant say i have totally moved on but at least i stopped crying at night. 
its just another heartache.

[cindylulu]

^yes sis. just another heartache but a very valuable lesson in life. i hope you have learned it well. have a blessed future ahead sis. 

[midnight]

TS, sis, heto, copy paste mo nalang next time na mag email siya sayo.

Pls. stop trying to communicate with me. Tumigil ka na. Maawa ka sa asawa at anak mo. Panindigan mo ang mga desisyon mo. Mas magiging ok ako kung wala na tayong komunikasyon sa isa't isa. Sige na, sorry ka na, now, intindihin mo buhay mo, at iintindihin ko buhay ko. Wala na tayong dapat pag-usapan pa, I hope this will serve as closure for both of us. I'm sure you know that what you've done was hurtful to me, let's leave it at that. I don't need the knife that stabbed me to be the cure as well. I'm sure you understand. Ktnxbye

Kaya ka niya kasi hinde tinitigilan i-email etc.kasi dinededma mo lang. Sometimes, silence means yes (or at least, may pag-asa pa) Make him know your stand. Diba ayaw mo na? Gusto mo na mag move on. Gusto mo wag na siya mag 'keep in touch' sayo? Eh di sabihin mo. Take care

[sweet.trish]

thanks sis midnight and cindylulu 

hay naku sis wala na hindi na rin nagparamdam ang lolo 
hindi rin naman sya makulit eh, pasulpot sulpot na kamusta lang.  ako lang naman tong umaarte pa nung una at hindi maka let go.

wala na tapos na ayoko na gusto ko na lang batukan sarili ko hehe. enjoy lang ako ng single.  ayoko na rin muna mag jowa. kung may darating na matino, yung love ako at yung anak ko, thank you, pero kikilalanin ko muna, baka pa investigate ko pa to make sure na walang sabit hahaha.

[andi_mom]

^hallelujah! that's the spirit sis! habang binabasa ko ang thread na 'to, nakikita ko na you're really moving on na. in fairness to you, i know alam mo naman talaga ang tama and kaya mo lang nasasabi yung mga nasabi mo dati is because you are in so much pain. but like any other things, the pain goes away with time. and like what you just said, hindi ka na nga umiiyak ngayon. and that is a good sign. ganyan lang sis. basta ifever man magparamdam uli, yung tipong nagpaka sweet uli all of a sudden yung guy, use your mind na. don't begin to rationalize again na "baka" pwede pa kayo. umuusad ka na so don't go back to level 0.

[riaenvodka]

im happy na ok ka na sis...sabi nga, walang prob na hindi kaya...dasal lang talaga sis at love yourself more. yan ang natutunan ko sa mga previous relationship ko....

[sweet.trish]

hay naku may pagkalukaluka lang talaga ko. yung ex ko nga na nakauna sakin, nung nagbreak kami sabi ko sana buntis ako para mapikot ko sya. nung natauhan ako, parang natawa na lang ako sa mga naisip ko dati 

those crazy things we do for love. hay!

para pala kong baliw sa mga pinost ko dito. oh well, sobrang sakit naman talaga.

and im pretty sure hindi na rin yun magpaparamdam pag nakita nyang ok na ko. baka nga nakunsensya lang yun kasi devasted ako nung bago pa lang nalaman eh.

im soo thankful na ok na ako. 

[midnight]

Congratulations! You now see the humour in all of this. I hope this 'incident' in your life has made you stronger and smarter. Cheers, sis!

[wengertzz]

Masakit talaga yan sis, because you believed him and trusted him umpisa pa lang.  Ganon talaga.  But now you know the truth, you need to slowly let go of all kinds of communication you have with him.  Sa umpisa lang yan mahirap and soon you'll get over him. 

When the day comes that you miss this guy, remind yourself of these things:

1. He LIED.  And that He IS married. 
2. You have a kid so think about your kid's future.  THAT truth should bring you back to your senses.
3. NEVER waste your time again with a MARRIED man.  THAT will save you from unending heartaches. 


   Take care, TS.  Pray and pray harder.  Lilipas din yan.

this is super true sis... crystal clear na... all u have to do is follow...