Mama ko pinapatulan ang sariling apo ....

[ijj2k]

Just wanted to unload my problems at home po ...

I am a single mom and I live with my son and my mother. Mahal naman ng mom ko ang apo nya. it´s just that minsan naglalaro sila until it  becomes a little rough tapos syempre since bata (my boy is 4yo) there are times na napapalo nya ang lola nya or nasisipa ng hindi naman sinasadya. Ang kinaiinisan ko lang kasi pag ang nanay ko naman medyo nasaktan na its either papaluin nya ang bata or hampas sa different parts ng katawan like sa legs, thighs, arms or sa behind. Of course since bata itong isa iiyak naman kasi nasaktan.

Ilang beses ko na pinalalagpas ito and there would be times na nagbubulagan lang ako at hindi umiimik. Kusa ko nalang nilalayo ang bata para wag na umiyak. Syempre mga sis nasasaktan ako bilang nanay at naiiyak nalang ako madalas.

Like today ayan medyo laro silang dalawa and my boy thinks that the grandma is ¨game¨ sa harutan nila ayan na - una talon-talon, takbo dito takbo doon. I was busy doing something sa computer tapos narinig ko nalang may palo ng malakas at sabay iyak ng anak ko. Hindi ko na napigilan nagsagutan na kami ng nanay ko kasi sinita ko. I can´t take it anymore eh. Sabi ko sa knya alam mo naman na bata yan pinapatulan mo?? Walang problema na sawayin mo yan kasi dapat naman talaga pero hindi yung kung makahampas ka at makapalo kala mo ang tigas ng buto nyan?? --- i felt bad after saying this and syempre iyak na naman ako on the side.

May kapayatan ang anak ko and for me I don´t think it´s not a right way to discipline them. Dahil lang sa nakalmot ka or napalo ka ng bata gawa ng nagra-rough play kayo dapat hampasin ang bata sa ibat ibang parte ng katawan?

¨Sabi pa ng nanay ko dapat turuan mo yang batang yan at ako pa ang napapasama jan. Hindi pwedeng pabayaan na ganyan yan at kawawa ang nag aalaga at naiiwanan jan. ¨

Ayoko na pahabain ang diskusyunan namin at naiinis talaga ako. Ok naman ang relasyon namin ng nanay ko kaso I don´t understand it --- pag nagkakaedad na ba nagiging ganyan ang mga parents? (my mom is 59yo) ...


Sorry mejo napahaba ang kwento ko. I felt crushed right now .... gustong sumabog ng dibdib ko sa pinaghalong inis at asar.

Thanks sa mga nagtake ng time to read this ....

[betty]

sis pasalamat ka pa nga may tyaga mom mo mag alaga ng apo, ang iba paki nila.
sis 1 year to go senior citizen na sya, masakit na din mga buto buto nyan.
siguro ikaw man masipa ng anak mo mapapalo mo din.

maybe you have to let your child know whens its ok to play around with lola or not. and besides diba sabi mo nga di lang once nangyari?
so dapat intuition mo na ang gumana nung alam mong nagsisimula na silang magplay.

tsaka pag ganyang edad maharot pa talaga.

teka dont get me wrong na ikaw sinisisi ko pero youre asking for an opinion here.

[betty]

i forgot to add, diba nakasakit ang anak mo sa mama mo? isnt it right that you reprimand your kid about it?
by that age kase ang bata nakakaintindi na ng tama at mali

[marssie]

I think ang concern ni sis ijj2k is kung may nagagawang mali ang anak niya, dapat siya ang dumisiplina or pumalo..

ang nanay ko naman mas mabait sa akin, kasi dati may time na nabibigla ako natatapik ko kamay ng anak ko or labi, siya ang nagagalit at sumasaway sa akin kasi bata pa raw anak ko. pero pwede mo na nga ring pagsabihan ang son mo sis, kasi ang anak ko turning 4 na rin napagsasabihan na namin di lang maalis na minsan pagnaghaharutan kami nakakasakit siya sa sobrang bigat ng anak ko at tigas ng katawan niya, napipikon din ako minsan pero syempre..naglalaro kami kaya expect na magkakasakitan, na kung ang nanay mo ang kalaro ng son mo, dahil siguro may edad na rin, mas maikli na ang pasensya..

just talk to your mom in a nice way, im sure naman halos lahat ng mga lolo at lola eh mahal mga apo nila, minsan nga mas mahal pa nila kesa sa ating mga anak nila

[1choi_ko9]

hmm...for me siguro you need to reprimand your kid especially when they started hitting other people. Miski play or not they should know na hitting is masakit. And yung napapalo nila nasasaktan. Siguro explain to your kid na its not nice hitting other people . Pwede naman play pero without hitting, diba? Awa naman ng Diyos kids ko hindi namamalo ng mas nakakatanda. Sinasabihan kase namin agad and we tell them right away that its not nice/ I know you're hurting kase syempre sino ba naman nanay, matuwa pag nasasaktan anak nila. Kas Tama na ilayo mo kid mo na lang/ Understand your mom na lang, hindi na rin sya bata and short na rin patience nila...ikaw na lang umunawa sis. And paunawa mo na rin po sa anak mo na si lola old na and wag nya paluin. Maintindihan nya yon sis

[ijj2k]

Hindi naman sadya ng bata kasi like minsan kinikiliti ng lola nya yung bata kakaiwas sa pangingiliti at
tawa ng tawa hindi nya sinasadyang matamaan ang lola nya. The little boy says sorry naman after kasi
yan talaga ang turo dito sa kanya. kahit kahapon na nahampas sya ng lola nya sa gigil sorry pa din ng sorry ang bata.
Dun ako talagang naawa sa kanya.

Oh well tama kayo mga sis ... need ko din talaga habaan pacensya ko at pangunawa sa nanay ko and kinausap ko ng masinsinan ang anak ko.. Nagusap na din kami ng mother ko.
Thanks for those who gave their opinion, naappreciate ko talaga.

[Msfi]

^your baby may still be young to know kung nakakasakit sya pero you can start teaching him to say sorry pag nakasakit sya.  I see kids younger than your child when they learned na nakasakit sila they will hug & kiss yung nasaktan nila.  Your mom needs to make your child be aware na nakasakit sya and ask him to say sorry pero wag naman saktan yung bata.  Turuan mo sila pareho.

[betty]

to the thread startet, if your problem is solved already, kindly delete the topic, thanks

[miss resilient]

akala ko naman kung anong patol...hahahah!

[joban99]

Hi ijj2k, good to hear that you were able to talk to your mom and to your little boy. Now as you said, just have the patience to always reinforce to your mom na try to refrain from spanking your child too much and also have your child not to play too rough with his lola.

As a single mom, I assume it's hard for you to find time to always be there for your son kaya medyo loose ka sa discapline (Im the same way, medyo loose ako sa discapline sa little girl ko, hehe.. :p) Pero its good you taught him to try to not to play too rough and to always say sorry.

If for example it happens a few times again,  just try to reinforce what you had talked about to both of them. If it happens too much and nothing changes, when you see them playing and it gets a bit rough, tell them to stop na before someone gets hurt. Pero most of the time, you wont be there so if it keeps happening and youre really getting affected by your mom spanking your son all the time, the only thing you can do for it to change is to move out. Kasi as you said, 4 yrs old lang ang son mo and sometimes kids really cant control their actions. Pero syempre if you do that, itll be really hard for you as you have to get a yaya and pay rent and other bills.

So again, hopefully matigil ang rough play ng mom and son mo or at least ma lessen. Anyways, the best you can do is always try to be there to make sure their playful acts wont get to the point it gets too rough and your mom gets accidently hit and then spanks your boy. Hope everything works out for you.