How young is too young for social networking sites?

[xthine]

Yesterday much to my bewilderment, i found my 11 year old checking messages on her Youtube account.  She apologized and I imposed a restriction after that.  She still has a laptop in her room, ive set parental controls on it..will tweak settings later.  Also surprising was when she said all her friends have YouTube, Twitter and Facebook accounts and that her teacher was asking for her Facebook account too.  Now after recently joining me here in the US (2 years after i left PH), she was telling me her friends want her to make a FB account so they could comminicate.  Im all for communicating, except i would prefer snail mail and Chikka texting (for her) over social networking sites.   She even asked me why people commit suicide because of Facebook.   

I'm surprised to find out that the age limit for most sites is 13 years old, we know there is no true way to verify ones age online.  The top of my list for worrying about very young children going online are: online predators and cyber bullying..Esp. Here in the US. 

For the parents here, what's your take on this? 

I'm not sure if there's an existing thread, i couldnt find one, please merge if there already is. 

[Ms.Cacao70%]

This is what I found out in the Facebook Policy Page:

No information from children under age 13. If you are under age 13, please do not attempt to register for Facebook or provide any personal information about yourself to us. If we learn that we have collected personal information from a child under age 13, we will delete that information as quickly as possible. If you believe that we might have any information from a child under age 13, please contact us through this help page.

Parental participation. We strongly recommend that minors 13 years of age or older ask their parents for permission before sending any information about themselves to anyone over the Internet and we encourage parents to teach their children about safe internet use practices. Materials to help parents talk to their children about safe internet use can be found on this help page.

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kahit mismo facebook na pinagbabawal ang 13 yr old below dahil baka makakuha ng personal information sa anak mo. yes, your kid is too young to be going into these sites. i commend you for being vigilant about this and for taking action as soond as you found out.

i think 16/17 is a good age but the kid has to be informed of the probable risks going to these sites, not to give any personal information, use bogus names, and limit the no. of friends. nakakatakot. meron nga akong nabasang nag-suicide na bata sa US dahil pinilit ng isang nakilala sa social networkign site. in the philippines, maraming news na about robbery and murder dahil din sa facebook.

[missywitchy]

If her friends want to communicate with her through FB then let her use your account, but make sure she only use it when you are around to supervise her. That way she won't feel na kawawa naman sya kasi wala sya fb and at the same time you will know what she is doing.

Regardless of what parental restrictions you use on her laptops and pc, nothing beats to being there. So instead of being super mahigpit, find a way that she can have what she wants pero nasa iyo pa rin ang control. At the same time, you will know if someone is bullying her or if a predator is after her. Also as early as now teach her to be responsible in giving out information.

Just my 2 cents 

[xthine]

@Ms.Cacao70%:  Thank you.  I know what you mean, especially in the line of work I'm in, I am able to witness first hand the negative effects of these social networking sites on children and adolescents...especially cyber bullying.  Most of the younger children have not yet developed fair judgement and a good hold on their impulses to engage in these sites.  It's so sad to see them get involved in inappropriate activities like sexting, those pictures are there for everyone to see..even years down the line.  Who knows how that would impact a college or job application.  I recently read online about murders in the Philippines linked to Facebook, and those involve adults, scary to think what could happen to children.

@misswitchy:  Thanks for sharing.  I'm afraid I do not have a Facebook account, she asked me whether I did and I told her I did not, she asked why I said I just don't have the time for that since I'm too busy with work.She asked me why her friends have FB accounts, I told her that I did not know and maybe their parents feel that it's okay for them to have their own FB accounts after which I explained to her again the reasons why I feel it is in her best interest not to have a FB account for now.
I would love to hear how you are with your children regarding this issue, specifically,  what "being there" entails for you and your children. 


Found this article the other day, could not find an update to the story:

http://articles.cnn.com/2009-11-02/tech/kids.social.networks_1_social-networking-sites-social-networking-facebook?_s=PM:TECH


http://www.cnn.com/video/data/2.0/video/living/2009/11/03/dcl.blog.social.kids.cnn.html

[missywitchy]

@xthine:  I am still single and do not have children yet. But I used to own an internet shop and I saw the difference between kids who are allowed to explore the net with parental supervision and those whose parents do not even know what their kids are doing. I had my fair share of parents blaming me/the internet/the online games for their child's failure to pass an exam. And I have this to say to every parent who blames everyone else except themselves when their children fail "Kung kayong magulang ayaw sundin, sino ako para pasunurin ang anak nyo?" A child's first teacher is his/her mom and dad. Ang internet, walang epekto yan sa isang batang pinalaki ng magulang na disiplinado, yung sumusunod sa batas na inilatag ng magulang nya. I have kids come in the shop with their mother or father in tow. They are allowed to play sometimes for as long as the accompanying parents allow. Sometimes they are allowed to play for as long as they want, but they have an adult sitting besides them and seeing what they are doing. I've even seen Dad's playing online games with their kids. And this kids are well behaved, they stop when told to do so and never curses or makes a scene.

But the parent who berated me and threatened to have my shop close because her son is skipping classes to play online, she was an absentee mom who only comes home on weekends. Hindi sa minamaliit ko ang pagiging nanay nya, pero sana naman bago nya sisihin ang ibang tao, tignan nya muna kung tama ba ang pagpapalaki nya sa anak. Yung bata kasi nagka-cutting classes talaga and sinawaan na ako sa kakasita bakit sya di pumapasok. Nung na ban sya sa akin kasi nga inaway ako ng nanay nya, I saw him playing billliards naman with the neighborhood tambays. After that I let him play again, kasi sa akin, wala naman syang ginagawa kundi maglaro lang o manuod sa ibang bata, duon sa bilyaran pwede pa sya mapasubo sa gulo kasi me halong sugal yung laro dun at karamihan dun sa mga kalaro nya are known drug addicts. I am not saying what I did was right, pero hindi ko sya kaano-ano, the most I can do is ask him bakit di sya pumasok ang to tell him na pumasok sya sa klase, pero kung ayaw, wala naman akong power over him para pasunurin sya. The most I can do is make sure na di mauso sa shop ko ang pustahan as sugal na iyon.

That's why I advise you to let your child experience what her friends are experiencing regarding the use of social networking pero with limitations for safety purposes. There is nothing wrong with exposing your child to social networking and to the web, as darating ang araw na kakailanganin nya yun and its not bad perse. In the long run, it would also give you an opportunity to teach her how to keep safe, being responsible with what she post online and how to handle situations such as bullying. At the same, mas mabuti na rin yung alam mo ang ginagawa nya, kasi believe me, mamakita at makakita yan ng way to get around the parental control on her laptop. My advice for you, one fb account, share kayo, ang friends nya friends mo rin, that way alam mo lahat ang nangyayari sa buhay nya. It's one way of keeping tabs on her ala big brother

[xthine]

^  She declined when I asked her if she wanted us to have a FB account. thanks for sharing your views.  Sorry to hear about what you experienced, I wish you the best when the time comes that you become a parent yourself 

[missywitchy]

Thanks din

I think your doing a good job with your daughter. Matatalino kasi mga bata ngayon when it comes to technology, so talagang mahalaga ang parental supervision.

I actually feel sorry for my future kids, sa dami ng experience ko sa pagaalaga sa anak ng me anak....hindi na ako madaling palusutan 

[chicafabulosa]

I think the best age to have social networking site will be 16. Kasi they're old enough to understand the consequences if they become irresponsible online.

But since masyado maaga now ang mga kids matuto mag internet, I think we just have to set parental controls on those sites they can visit. And we have to talk to them and let them know what are the things they need to avoid online. Better if we share stories that happened even to adult users para may takot sila to become irresponsible when they go online and set up their accounts.

[mariasans]

i'm really surprised that younger kids (even below 13) know how to use youtube,twitter,and facebook. i would think that they would just be playing safe and educational games like the ones that jollitown has (by the way does anyone's kid play on that site? may wishing well promo pala ang jollibee? sa jollitown website daw e. pag bumili ka ng jollibee kid meal, bibigyan ka daw ng code sa resibo na iinput mo sa jollitown website. tapos magkakaron ka na ng 1,000 points.  ) but now they are really more on social networking sites. why don't you let her use your chikka if she does not want to use your facebook account?

[xthine]

^We both have Chikka accounts, we don't use it anymore.  Since that incident, she no longer goes on nor expresses any desire to be on Facebook.

[gab54]

my 9yo daughter wanted to have her own email, fb account. i refused. pati nga celfone bawal.
she can use her laptop only in my room, that way i can check from time to time, i also regularly check the history so i know she's not violating my rules. i hope i can keep her obedient forever, sometimes she's envious of her friends who already have fb/email/celfone...

[imyourangel]

^Ang mahirap naman sa ganyan sis, the more you restrict them, the more they have this tendency to rebel behind you.

[ohcmon]

^^ I agree with sis imyourangel. Sometimes parents tend to be the "bad" guys pa kasi pinipigilan 'yung anak kahit good naman intention ng parents. When I was in high school my folks let me used the internet for whatever reasons but some of my classmates binabawalan by their parents, what they did was was they hung out in computer shops and made excuses at home kasi nga, bawal.

POV ko naman about this, okay lang na magkaron ng Facebook, email, whatever account provided that I regularly check what my child does from time to time. At least, hindi niya mafifeel na pinagbabawalan ko siya, pero hindi rin ganun kaluwag. Sakto lang.

[xthine]

That's why communication is very important.  For every rule, restriction we always make sure that we explain to her what the reason behind it is and that our intentions are not to be cruel but because we care ... Even though it may be difficult for her to see it now. 

[gab54]

9yo palang kasi eh... 
sige next time she ask, i will help her create an account, that is, IF she ask... 
right now she's distracted w/ video games & ipod music 

[imyourangel]

Right! Dapat in between lang, not too strict and not too maluwag either. My parents weren't that strict nung high school ako and as a result, hindi naman ako nag rebel sa kanila.

[bellAswang]

Allow her to have FB under your guidance and set ground rules, explain your concerns. Kids today are born navigators, technology is more dominant sa lives natin. They will find a way to access the net on their own. Better na sa bahay sila mag-net under your guidance, install a net nanny software na rin to block out porn ads and whatnot. Kids mainly want to be on facebook to chat and play games like Petville and farmville. If you totally restrict FB, chances are mas nagiging sabik sila, if they have access they'll eventually find it boring or even relegated to "its-just-there-so-whats-so-special-about-it?"

Sa totoo lang Moms today have it harder, mom ko noon only had to deal with kids chatting on radio comm and playing atari :p

[ldrwifey]

im not a mother but i have cousins as young as 7yrs old may facebook na, some of them supervised when going online some are not.

ang reason ng mga tita ko mabuti n ang nasa bahay nagffacebook or email or kung ano p man ang ginagawa s pc atleast nababantayan kesa sa labas kung ano ano pang natututunan s internet shop or s kalye. and if they know na pwede silang magplay ng games s internet s bahay after school mas less ang tendency n magcut ng classes.

i dont know kung anong take ko s ganyang bagay kasi depende talaga sa situation ng anak at ng mga magulang. i hope i can manage it by the time n may anak n din ako.

[ellyse]

hmmm...i think pag wala pang 15  young pa sa akin hehe

[beatrize zuri]

hanggat hindi college, young pa yon for me lol!. ok lang naman na mainvolve sila sa mga social networking sites syempre mahirap ng iwasan yan especially nowadays, dapat lang may proper guidance from the parents and dapat alam ko password nila  , mahirap na sa panahon ngayon, oo kilala natin mga kids natin pero what about those people around them? its beyond our control na, so prevention lang and guidance plus dapat ipaintindi natin sa kanila yon