no more kilig? dapat na ba umalis?

[Marquita]

I'm a bit confused about this relationship im in.

I feel contented with my bf in such a way na parang gusto ko naman siya mapakasalan.
pero normal lang ba na pag medyo matagal na kayo (2 yrs palang actually), di ka na nakakaramdam ng kilig? as in wala di talaga ako kinikilig. haha di ako inspired sa kanya for some reason, pero okay naman ako kasama siya, Parang ang tagal tagal nalang talaga na di ko naffeel ang kilig lalong lalo na after niya mabreak ang trust ko.

the situation:
we dont laugh a lot together,
minsan di ako makarelate sa mga gusto niya or ng friends niya
he's 12 yrs older than me
we like to cuddle
kissing isnt that intimate or hindi ganon ka swak
we argue most times but we never end a day na magkagalit
sex is good and happy naman
stable naman kami
nagkakasundo sa comp. games,
okay naman family sa isat isa,
never ako nagcheat,
siya nanloko na once and that really ruined the trust pero nakalipas na yun.
Ngayon nakakaramdam ako na makipagflirt sa iba, pero so far wala namang anything or someone
we support each other
we see each other consistently
wala namang financial problems masyado

so bakit ganito? kayo ba yung mga may relationship na 2 yrs pataas normal lang ba na wala nang kilig masyado?

[Periwinkle25]

uhm, we're more than 5yrs na ni bf..yup..at some point, you will feel like that kasi masyado na kayo familiar with each other..you get too used to his presence already..i felt that too bago ako nag-abroad..i just realized na it was a matter of spicing up the relationship..discover new hobbies na pareho kayong mag-eenjoy..or maybe try mo ibalik yung mga things na ginagawa or sinasabi nyo nung bago pa lang kayo..dapat two way effort yan..try mo kaya i-discuss sa kanya?.. kasi ako, vocal ako magsabi ng mga ganyan ky bf..so is he din..kya going strong pa rin kmi=)

[Marquita]

uhm, we're more than 5yrs na ni bf..yup..at some point, you will feel like that kasi masyado na kayo familiar with each other..you get too used to his presence already..i felt that too bago ako nag-abroad..i just realized na it was a matter of spicing up the relationship..discover new hobbies na pareho kayong mag-eenjoy..or maybe try mo ibalik yung mga things na ginagawa or sinasabi nyo nung bago pa lang kayo..dapat two way effort yan..try mo kaya i-discuss sa kanya?.. kasi ako, vocal ako magsabi ng mga ganyan ky bf..so is he din [textspeak!]..kya going strong pa rin kmi=)

thanks sa reply
well.. open naman ako sa kanya pero napaka passive kasi nitong bf ko.
pag ayaw niya ayaw niya. so tendency is for me to like what he likes just so we can do something together.
lalo pa't matanda siya sakin so parang sometimes napaka condescending ng mga paguusap sa akin or pag may
ssuggest ako na gagawin ayaw nya or next time na lang.. etc. tulad nitong game na kinaka-adikan
niya ngayon, world of warcraft, i just played it bec. gusto niya and at least it's something we both do.

try ko parin maghanap ng ibang ways to spice it up.

[17arci]

For me if may doubts ka na, better end it. Ang kilig kasi nawawala talaga minsan. Nasa inyo naman kung mag-eeffort kayo.

[rein.lei84]

Kung ako nga for 3 years di na kinikilig kahit anong pilit. My baby lang ang reason that's why I'm with my husband. Hindi normal ang hindi kiligin sa hubby mo noh! There are times na nawawala pero the next day meron nanaman. No kilig no saya sister! Hindi mo mapi-feel ang love talaga

[shopaholic18]

kami nung ex ko until 4years at nagbreak nalang kami kinikilig padin ako, it helped siguro na magkalayo kami, half of that 2 years LDR kami eh, mahirap kasi pag nasa comfort stage na, you both have to exert effort to keep the relationship, one way kasi eh, ikaw lang nag eeffort tapos ikaw yung di kinikilig, try to talk things with your bf, minsan absence helps, maging distant kayo sa isa't isa, yung may konting space so you'll miss each other, then pag nagkita kayo ulit ayun kilig.

[aquacharly]

What must motivate you must be from within you.  Hwag mo ipako ang happiness mo sa ibang tao.  You will always have that restlessness in you, and you will eventually find yourself bored, or having no zest for life.  It is good that there is nothing there yet to tie you down to him, like kids. 

I am not telling  you to dump him. But do not constrict yourself, your future, your potential to what he is, or is willing to do.  It is a blessing he is older, and makes no demands on you -- so that gives you a lot of leeway to develop yourself, to bloom.  Go for it, do it for yourself. 

[appleberrycream]

Kapag matagal na kayo sa relationship, like me 6yrs na kami ng bf ko, eventually mawawala ang kilig eh. Kung yun lang ang palagi kong hahanapin sa isang relasyon I think lahat ng makakarelasyon ko after some time mawawala rin. Samin tapos na yung honeymoon period namin na ganyan kilig moments. Meron pa rin but not as intense as before, nung bago pa lang kami. Yung tipong para kang adik kakaisip sa kanya, konting ka-cornihan kilig na kilig ka na. I think we mature na as a couple.

[Periwinkle25]

yup tama..kasi the relationship evolves to a deeper one..tpos na yung stage na patweetums kau..level up na kumbaga..but u have to work on it together para yung transition niyo is hindi aabot sa point na sawaan na talaga..kaya nga di ba minsan,my mga long commitment na di nag-eend up together dahil sa ganun..although, it's still up to both of you..try to talk it over with him..dapat alam niya how you feel..

[Marquita]

I think were moving on right now to a better stage in our relationship. pareho narin kasi kami magsstart
ng business. iba sakin and iba sa kanya.

nasabi ko sa kanya na nakikita ko yun na opportunity para mag grow kaming dalawa at the same level.
siyempre since older siya feeling ko dati parang lahat nalang napagdaaanan niya and sawa na siya.

so through this business venture medyo excited ako para sa aming dalawa

[ButHonestly]

The "endorphin rush" which is usually associated with kilig usually last up until six months. The human body cannot handle handle the demands of the altered metabolism caused by this. So it eventually dies down. The good thing about it though, is thatit can be rekindled. So I guess, you just have find way to uhh make the flame burn again. If you still wanna drag the long haul, that is.

Think of your relationship as an investment, primarily of time, and uhh emotion. weigh the losses you would have if you widthraw everything. weigh the gains also if you decide to keep tip.

Fancy seeing you here, Marquita. I remember you from MIRC days.

[Marquita]

The "endorphin rush" which is usually associated with kilig usually last up until six months. The human body cannot handle handle the demands of the altered metabolism caused by this. So it eventually dies down. The good thing about it though, is thatit can be rekindled. So I guess, you just have find way to uhh make the flame burn again. If you still wanna drag the long haul, that is.

Think of your relationship as an investment, primarily of time, and uhh emotion. weigh the losses you would have if you widthraw everything. weigh the gains also if you decide to keep tip.

Fancy seeing you here, Marquita. I remember you from MIRC days.

omg haha! is this your nick before sa mirc? femalenetwork is addicting. nawalan na ako ng gana sa mirc wala ako masyado makausap na matino doon hahaha.

i'll keep your post in mind.

[meisaia]

Sabi nga nila, relationships sparkle because of this "kilig". Pero it lasts because of your great companionship. So when choosing a partner, don't just choose the person na nagpapakilig sayo dahil hindi habang buhay kikiligin ka sa kanya. At hindi habang buhay may gagawin siya para maspice up ang relationship niyo. So humanap ng partner na masarap kasama, yung masarap kakwentuhan. Para pagtanda niyo at wala na yang kilig, masaya pa rin kayo.

[binggay]

 Sa akin personally, the kilig factor should always be there for the marriage to be happy. Happy ha, hindi "ok lang". Kaya nga ako, I say a prayer of thanks and pray for my marriage everyday. My husband and I were bf-gf for a year and a half, and now married nine years, pero by God's grace, we are still very happy with each other. Kinikilig pa din ako sa asawa ko. 

[kirara888]

Sis Marquita, laughter is the most important factor in a relationship. If you share the same sense of humor, your relationship will never be dull. I was surprised when you said that you and your boyfriend "don't laugh a lot together". I wanna share an article written by Eduardo Calasanz about what makes a relationship work. Hope this helps you.
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One of these is laughter. Laughter tells you how much you will enjoy each others company over the long term. If your laughter together is good and healthy, and not at the expense of others, then you have a healthy relationship to the world. Laughter is the child of surprise. If you can make each other laugh, you can always surprise each other. And if you can always surprise each other, you can always keep the world around you new.

Beware of a relationship in which there is no laughter. Even the most intimate relationships based only on seriousness have a tendency to turn sour. Over time, sharing a common serious viewpoint on the world tends to turn you against those who do not share the same viewpoint, and your relationship can become based on being critical together.
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[whitelady17]

sis, baka its time na gumawa ka naman ng way to rekindle the feeling, plan a surprise dinner etc, whatever na gusto niya diba. Focused on the positive side, create your good memories, just don't entertain the negativity that much kasi it will consume you eventually. as simple as wow, ang pogi mo naman today, when said sincerely, can re-kindle the kilig moments sa inyo, I know eh kasi I always tell him naman, kapag talagang sobrang na popogian ako sa kanya or right at that instant sasabihin ko, kahit hindi niya sabihin na kinilikig siya, alam ko, nararamdaman ko sa reaction niya

[angeljolie]

Kung ako ikaw, at bata pa ako, I'll leave.  Kasi ang kilig lumilipas yan as you grow older. Pero kung ngayon na bata ka pa, na dapat kinikilig ka pa pero hindi na, it could cause you bigger problems in the future.

[pleasureshop]

depende.. if ur commited of course not

[IronLady]

nakakarelate ako sis. 2yrs na rin kami ni bf. pero ano yung sinasabi mo na na-break nya trust mo? how? anyways sakin wala namang ganon. at natatakot ako ma-break trust ko kasi mahirap na yun ibalik. minsan talaga makakaramdam ka na wala ng kilig. mga lalaki kasi hindi na mashado nage-effort haha! pero that doesnt mean naman na they love us less. siguro nasanay na lang sila na ganon.. na as long as ok kayo, ok na sya sa ganon. ako pag ganyan si bf nasasad ako pero gumagawa ako ng way para maging masaya at magkatuwaan pa din kami. minsan takot ako na dumating sa point na mabore ako sa kanya. lol. pero effort pa din ako kasi love ko naman si bf, at lambing lang kelangan ko ok na. totoo yun na lumilipas talaga ang kilig. lalo pa siguro kapag married na, kaya nga dapat pati friendship nyo strong e, para kahit wala na ang kilig andun pa din yung friendship, nirerespect nyo pa din isat isa, anjan pa din kayo for each other..

[nut_ky]

yup tama, the first six months to one year is a rush of happiness and excitement.
the next months (or years) calm waters na.

it's actually the guy's job to fan the flames so to speak.
guys lead, girls follow.
when a girl leads, she hates it. (she doesn't want to think, and be held accountable when sh!t happens)