Sa mga newbies kwento niyo naman paano kayo nagkakilala and gaano na kayo katagal?
excited pa ako magkwento.
nun 2010 ko sya nameet, bagong dating sya sa department namin, naging kateam ko. nun una dedma lang ako. tapos around august 2010 ata yun, hindi ko alam kung anong nangyari sakin kasi naging interesado ako sa kanya. we were not friends, hindi nga kami nag uusap. tahimik lang kasi sya. nabother ako when i realized na interested ako sa kanya. kasi naman straight ako. naisip ko pa, siguro i just admire her. kasi nangyayari naman talaga yun sa mga babae. so dedma lang talaga ako. until dumating sa time na inaantay ko sya pumasok para makita ko, tapos sinisilip ko sya sa post nya. still, i denied it to myself.
then sept 2010 i found myself blogging about her. dun ako nagstart na talagang mapraning. kasi i write from the heart. so how come i wrote about her. sobrang depression talaga inabot ko kasi hindi ko matanggap sa sarili ko. then dec 2010 i was promoted, nalipat ako ng ibang department. so i thought maybe it was time for me to move on and magfocus sa relationship namin ni bf (i was in a 4 year old relationship at that time). tapos parang sinasadya ng pagkakataon, ako ang naging auditor ng team nya. so i got to have meetings with her and her bosses. dun kami nagstart maging close. we smoke together and chat sometimes. tapos lumala na yung feelings ko. naisip ko na lang, night shifter naman sya, morning shifter ako so konti lang yun interaction namin. tuwing may meetings lang talaga. so it became a battle for me. until it came to the point na naiisip ko na sya kahit nasa bahay ako. dati naman hindi.
then 2011, napromote sya. so mas lalong madami ako interaction with her. dahil sa work, i needed to talk to her most of the time, not just meetings. sept 2011 nalipat ako sa night shift kasi may training ako. so i got to see her everyday, talk to her everyday, smoke with her everyday, eat with her almost everyday, and we became closer and closer. ayun na, nagbreakdown na ako. there were times i would cry at home kasi sobrang disturbed ako. tapos nagkakatext na din kami. all because
of work.
tapos one time, we talked about a friend sa office who's into girl to girl relationship. nagchismisan lang kaming dalawa. hehe. then i asked her what her stand is pagdating sa ganun. she said she's open minded kasi may friends sya na ganun pero sya mismo hindi nagkakagusto sa girl. she was so damn straight. then dahil sa flow ng conversation i told her i like a girl and nakwento ko yung pinagdaanan ko. she listened to me and gave me all sorts of advice she could give. she even shared her own bitter love story with a guy. she asked me who the girl was and i couldn't tell her that it was her all this time. she didn't force me though. so that time, yun yung "dark ages" ko kasi sobra akong confused. then she asked me if i was ready to tell the girl the truth para matapos na pagdudusa ko. i said i can't. either mareject ako and masira ang friendship or baka tanggapin ako and hindi ko mapanindigan ang consequences. then she said maybe i just have to move on. and i said, siguro nga, kalimutan ko na lang. besides babalik naman na ako sa morning shift and mawawalan na din naman ng connection yun work ko sa work nya, so hindi na kami mag uusap. so it would be a good way to forget everything and move on.
then i went home. pagdating sa bahay, nagtext sya. sabi nya ang daya ko daw kasi hindi ko man lang sinabi sa kanya kung sino si girl samantalang sya nagshare din ng love story nya. i replied sa text nya "Di ba hindi na nga ko aamin, so bakit ko sasabihin sa yo." she didn't get it at first. then i replied again "pag sinabi ko sayo, eh di para na din akong umamin." tapos umiyak ako, hindi ako makatulog. the next day, she sent me a very long rejection letter sa fb. but it was a nice letter. hindi man lang ako nasaktan kasi she was really nice. i even told myself, hindi ako nagkamali sa taong nagustuhan ko. somehow i also felt relieved na nareject ako kasi baka hindi ko naman talaga kaya makipagrelasyon.
so the friendship didn't break, we moved on like how we were before. tapos one day, she just confessed that she was getting confused. nabother ako. i didn't want her to get confused kasi hindi ko alam kung mapapanindigan ko ba. then we went all through the confusion and drama together.
2 months na kami ngayon.
