bf is not sweet, showy and malambing :(

[akireyhoj]

sis another advice na mabibigay ko sayo is try to do the things na nawala sayo start naging kayo..
like shopping alone, doing this things.. etc..

question: is he mahigpit ba? na he trusted you naman when nagpapaalam ka?

[SimpleBeauty08]

sis another advice na mabibigay ko sayo is try to do the things na nawala sayo start naging kayo..
like shopping alone, doing this things.. etc..

question: is he mahigpit ba? na he trusted you naman when nagpapaalam ka?

^He is sometimes mahigpit. Papayagan lang ako if importante.But if for having fun lang, not much. Pero we have an agreement na now na wag na kami masyado mahigpit sa isa't isa. so I guess pwede na now.

[akireyhoj]

good. ngayon try not to focus on him muna (sound rude) hehe kasi baka isipin mo sa advice mo eh pinapalayo kita sa bf mo.. maybe he will realize lahat ng mali niya once dumistansya ka sa kanya.. follow your heart and mind sis.. protect your heart and yourself..

[SimpleBeauty08]

good. ngayon try not to focus on him muna (sound rude) hehe kasi baka isipin mo sa advice mo eh pinapalayo kita sa bf mo.. maybe he will realize lahat ng mali niya once dumistansya ka sa kanya.. follow your heart and mind sis.. protect your heart and yourself..

^I understand your point...I don't take it negatively don't worry. In fact, I appreciate it. Thank you so much. Masyado  na kasi siyang nasanay na makita ako ng madalas and maybe that's the reason why he's takin' me for granted. Kelangan niyang marealize yung importance ko sa kanya. Hopefully magawa ko. Thanks!

[akireyhoj]

sis believe me.. makakahanap ka din ng mas better than him.. 

[SimpleBeauty08]

sis believe me.. makakahanap ka din ng mas better than him.. 

^Thanks sis. I know there are far much better guys than him. There's a problem though, I don't like other guys. I want him kahit masakit. Mahal ko kasi talaga. Mahal ko pa siya and so far di pa kaya i-let go but I'm trying not to show him how much I love him and I'm trying to control my feelings. Masakit kasi pag sobra. haha **emo mode**.

Don't worry sis... I'll give up if talagang di na kaya. I still love myself. Thanks again. I really appreciate your responses.

[PINKISS]

I understand you  You really have to focus on other activities. Pag medjo dumistansya ka sa kanya, baka marealize din niya ang mga bagay bagay. Take sometime for yourself.

[babyjapnurse01]

ang panira talaga sa mga ganitong dilemma is when the person involved would say -- "mahal ko talaga eh, i cant leave him". Barado na ang lahat ng advice haha!

IMHO, mahal naman pala, and you're gonna stay with him kahit masakit, siguro ang best way para maresolve ito is just to accept the fact na hindi talaga sweet ang boyfriend mo and hindi as showy as how you want him to be.

Tanggapin mo nalang na ganun talaga sya, tutal mahal mo naman pala, kesa iexhaust mo yang sarili mo dahil "nasasaktan" ka. Kaya mo nga mag-stay kahit na nasasaktan ka eh, you might as well wanna consider accepting nalang yung buong pagkatao ng bf mo.

[commish]

hi bjn.. miss you! 

Loser, LOL! still hitting on my wife? move on dude, its been years. 

[SimpleBeauty08]

ang panira talaga sa mga ganitong dilemma is when the person involved would say -- "mahal ko talaga eh, i cant leave him". Barado na ang lahat ng advice haha!

IMHO, mahal naman pala, and you're gonna stay with him kahit masakit, siguro ang best way para maresolve ito is just to accept the fact na hindi talaga sweet ang boyfriend mo and hindi as showy as how you want him to be.

Tanggapin mo nalang na ganun talaga sya, tutal mahal mo naman pala, kesa iexhaust mo yang sarili mo dahil "nasasaktan" ka. Kaya mo nga mag-stay kahit na nasasaktan ka eh, you might as well wanna consider accepting nalang yung buong pagkatao ng bf mo.

^Yeah, I understand. For now, ganun na nga lang siguro since I can't just let go. not yet. That's what I'm trying to do now, accept him ffor what he is. Thanks much for your advice.

[femaleadmin]

Loser, LOL! still hitting on my wife? move on dude, its been years. 

Please keep to the topic. Personal issues with other GT members should not be posted or discussed on the boards.

[blackberryqueen]

ang panira talaga sa mga ganitong dilemma is when the person involved would say -- "mahal ko talaga eh, i cant leave him". Barado na ang lahat ng advice haha!

IMHO, mahal naman pala, and you're gonna stay with him kahit masakit, siguro ang best way para maresolve ito is just to accept the fact na hindi talaga sweet ang boyfriend mo and hindi as showy as how you want him to be.

Tanggapin mo nalang na ganun talaga sya, tutal mahal mo naman pala, kesa iexhaust mo yang sarili mo dahil "nasasaktan" ka. Kaya mo nga mag-stay kahit na nasasaktan ka eh, you might as well wanna consider accepting nalang yung buong pagkatao ng bf mo.

I've seen this happen a lot of time. Complain nang complain si girl about the BF, mega-advise naman kaming mga friends, and yet ang ending, she's still in that relationship.

Point is, kung mahal mo talaga sya inspite of this one fault na big deal sayo, then go ahead. But you will have to stop complaining afterwards, especially after you're married. You will have to forget about  your needs and wants na di nya ma-fulfill, tutal mahal mo naman pala sya inspite of that.

[babyjapnurse01]

^ I agree. Once a person says "Im staying even if sobrang sakit na dahil sobrang mahal ko sya"
dapat din siguro thats the time the person also stops complaining about whatever's bugging her.

[SimpleBeauty08]

^ Sad to say, yes. I know I should have not complaining kasi kung mahal ko talaga, I'll just accept him. The thing is, just want to hear the opinion of other people for me to be able to think and analyze things... you see, I'm new at this. Everythings new, the feeling, the pain, etc. and that's why I'm having a hard time coping with the changes. But thanks to you guys, nagkakaron ako ng idea on how to handle my situation right now. Ayaw ko kasi na gawin ko yung isang bagay dahil sa sabi ni ganito, ni ganyan, para walang regrets in the end at walang ibeblame kundi yung sarili ko lang.

Sa lahat po ng ng reply sa post ko. THANK YOU SO MUCH. I really appreciate the effort. You've helped me a lot. 

[mooncake and leaves]

I think kasi that the bf-gf stage is still essentially part of the courtship period. It's that period when you see and decide if the person you're with is somebody you can tolerate for the rest of your life. If the other person doesn't deliver the goods, you're in no way obligated to stay and blindly hope that it will get better in the future. And I think 2 years is already an ample period for you to see that your bf is incapable of attending to your emotional and physical needs. Sure, you love him but that's not really a good enough reason to be with somebody. He has to at least reciprocate your feelings and judging by what you've shared here, I honestly don't think he does, at least not with the same intensity. It's not just the fact that he's not sweet or he acts like you don't exist but his dismissal of your feelings of neglect and his inane justifications for it show that he isn't really all that attached to you. Sorry but I really don't see any reason for you to stay with him.

[SimpleBeauty08]

I think kasi that the bf-gf stage is still essentially part of the courtship period. It's that period when you see and decide if the person you're with is somebody you can tolerate for the rest of your life. If the other person doesn't deliver the goods, you're in no way obligated to stay and blindly hope that it will get better in the future. And I think 2 years is already an ample period for you to see that your bf is incapable of attending to your emotional and physical needs. Sure, you love him but that's not really a good enough reason to be with somebody. He has to at least reciprocate your feelings and judging by what you've shared here, I honestly don't think he does, at least not with the same intensity. It's not just the fact that he's not sweet or he acts like you don't exist but his dismissal of your feelings of neglect and his inane justifications for it show that he isn't really all that attached to you. Sorry but I really don't see any reason for you to stay with him.

^It's okay sis... I understand and respect your opinion.... Don't worry, I'm not sayin naman na I will still stay with him forever kahit di ko talaga kayang magcope up sa ugali niyang yun.. Dati kasi, puro ako salita na tatanggapin ko yung ugali niya na ganun, pero now, ginagawa ko na.  I'm also tryin to fix my life, bring back my old self, love myself more, not focus on him and not give too much. I take this as God's way of tellin me na I should love myself more than anybody else. Na I should control myself from giving too much.

Lahat po ng advice and opinions ninyo pinagiisipan ko po. Di ko po sinasara yung possibility na makipagbreak sa kanya in the future kung talagang ala ng pagasa but not now, not just yet.

I want to put the pieces of a broken me back together first before I do something about the relationship.

Thank you so much sa opinion mo sis...

[spartan]

if you can't spend your life with someone na hindi malambing either you make him change or leave him.

[17arci]

But then you cant force somebody to be sweet and malambing. It's inherent.

[babyjapnurse01]

^ thats true.

And yang pagiging showy and malambing, it comes naturally from people who are in love with the person na kasama nila eh. May mga taong hindi kasing showy ng iba, i mean, may kanya kanyang levels ng pagka-lambing ang mga tao but then thered be ways that you would feel special eh.

yung kay threadstarter kasi pati yung paglalambing nya kay bf, nirereject eh, kaya parang ang weird. tapos hindi rin naglalambing si BF sa kanya, iniiwan iwanan nga lang sya pag nasa mall sila, kaya parang ang naiisip ko talaga, the bf is just up for the companionship or sa thought na may girlfriend siya.

[blackberryqueen]

But then you cant force somebody to be sweet and malambing. It's inherent.

^ thats true.

And yang pagiging showy and malambing, it comes naturally from people who are in love with the person na kasama nila eh. May mga taong hindi kasing showy ng iba, i mean, may kanya kanyang levels ng pagka-lambing ang mga tao but then thered be ways that you would feel special eh.

yung kay threadstarter kasi pati yung paglalambing nya kay bf, nirereject eh, kaya parang ang weird. tapos hindi rin naglalambing si BF sa kanya, iniiwan iwanan nga lang sya pag nasa mall sila, kaya parang ang naiisip ko talaga, the bf is just up for the companionship or sa thought na may girlfriend siya.

Absolutely right, it's inherent, it should come naturally. If he's head over heels in love with you, then he will show some degree of "lambing" at least. Kahit na hindi pa nature ng guy na maging malambing at maging showy, kahit papano he will do some things to make you feel special. But the thing is, are those gestures enough to satisfy your need?

We're not in a position to say he loves you less and you love him more. Coz it doesnt matter if he loves you greatly, when he isnt able to fulfill your need.

Married couples have both emotional and physical needs which vary in intensity according to the person. If any of the stronger needs are unfulfilled, you are exposing yourselves to temptation. So I hope you really think hard, and make sure you are able to relegate to the lowest level of need that need of yours to be loved and appreciated. I mean, learn to forget about his not being malambing, learn not to complain.

I hope one day you will not regret any of the decision you make.