Why Do Filipino Men Cheat?

[bea_wang]

A foreigner friend asked me this. He said he finds it strange to read that it's very common here that Filipino husbands cheat. To quote him: "For a culture that is very religious and "conservative", why do they treat their spouses this way? It seems so common and they even go with their family to church! Not that it never happens here, it definitely does but wives there seem to have accepted that about their husbands."

Good point. I read in an article before that in Asia, among the seven deadly sins, PRIDE will go to Filipino men. Is it a source of pride to cheat?

[pinkberries]

am not married but i don't think it's even pride.

your foreigner friend is right about our culture that is very religious and conservative.  and i think because of that, filipino men need to make a facade so they can meet such societal standards.  hindi lantaran, hindi brutally frank ang approach.  foreigners most likely have balls to say things upfront like... "i'm sorry baby, this is not working out." --(after xx of years).  sabay, iwan na ng divorce papers.     dito, kahit paulit ulit pang nambababae yan, basta hindi nabibisto, lusot na!

 

[shopaholic18]

^i agree, filipino men kasi don't speak up if ayaw na nila sa relationship, they'll just do something stupid para makipagbreak ka sa kanila.

[phelps]

tama yun.

nagchecheat kaming mga lalaki dahil

1. kulang ang pagmamahal ng partner namin
2. masyadong mapagmahal ang partner namin
3. may nakitang mas hot
4. may nakitang katangian sa iba na wala ang partner namin
5. hindi na maganda ang partner namin (factor talaga yun kung alam nyo lang)
6. talagang gusto lang makarami (mag-ingat sa mga ganito)

[shopaholic18]

^masyadong mapagmahal? bad ba yun?

back to the topic, good thing bf and me hate cheaters, if one of us cheats, that's the end of it. we suffered a lot from our past relationships when it comes to cheating kaya ganito na pananaw namin. cheaters will always be cheaters.

[phelps]

kita mo? hindi nyo alam na bad ang masyadong mapagmahal? hala ka. may boyfriend o asawa ka ba? lagot ka, baka sobra ka magmahal.   

[shopaholic18]

i have a bf and i love him so much, ewan ko lang what's your definition of sobra but i think he likes it so far. depende siguro sa guy. 

[kysmet]

Is cheating Filipino? I reckon men, in general, cheat. Women too. Cheating is not exclusive to a particular culture or nationality, or gender for that matter.

It's just accepted here. Women turn a blind eye on it, especially if there are children involved. Maybe Filipina wives are not empowered enough to leave and raise their children alone, or they do not want a broken family considering the divorce law has yet to be passed. Several reasons actually, and most of them are cultural.

Cheating per se is not cultural. Filipinas just seem to tolerate it. Unfortunately, Filipino men know this.

[ButHonestly]

In the animal kingdom, monogamy is a deviant behavior.

[Purple_Power]

Hindi ko lang alam kay phelps kung ano ang meaning niya ng mashadong mapagmahal pero ito lang masasabi ko. Anything that is too much is really bad it could be positive or negative because one way or the other most likely either naaabuso na ito or mabigat na sa pakiramdam. Pero speaking of lovelife or relationship it could be like sobrang pagmamahal dahil sa pagiging posessive, over protective and something na nakakasakal na  halos hindi makakilos ang asawa.

tama yun.

nagchecheat kaming mga lalaki dahil

1. kulang ang pagmamahal ng partner namin
2. masyadong mapagmahal ang partner namin
3. may nakitang mas hot
4. may nakitang katangian sa iba na wala ang partner namin
5. hindi na maganda ang partner namin (factor talaga yun kung alam nyo lang)
6. talagang gusto lang makarami (mag-ingat sa mga ganito)

I would agree on that na nangyayari talaga ito at yan ang mga rason. Babae ako pero alam ko yan at best example dyan ay yung friends na lang ng bf ko, masaklap pa yung isa may asawa. Pero siempre hindi papasa sa korte yan and it would be never justified to prove na kasalanan ito ng babae. The point is nasa kahinaan na lang ng pagkalalake yan. More so at some women I don't give sympathy as well bakit? they are tolerating it eh! kahit na ilang beses na nilang nahuli o nasaktan pa.

Kaya thumbs up ako sa ibang mga Tito ko na marunong magpakita ng pagmamahal sa asawa nila. Bihira na rin ang lalakeng matured just like them.

[shopaholic18]

^well in that definition of sobrang pagmamahal, i don't think that's the way with us. di ako nananakal, di ako possesive and hindi din ako super selosa.  speaking of matured, bibihira na nga lang sila kaya if you happen to bump into one, never let it go. i did and i never regretted it not even a bit

agree din pala ako na hindi lang filipinos, men cheat regardless of their nationality, mas madalas lang sa mga filipino and  partly narin siguro with how they were raised by their parents. kung maganda pagpapalaki sayo you wouldn't dare do anything as bad as cheat your wives and gf. just my two cents.

[justin3]

bea-wang - from what country yung friend mo? i think Filipinos have the same reasons as to why the men in his country cheat. to include the wives, the gays and the lesbians in his beloved country... o kahit na saang bansa pa. same reasons, different approaches, varies in styles.

it is not a question of religion or how conservative we Filipinos are.
kung gawin nyang gauge ang religion o being conservative, he should ask anyone from an Islamic country.

[passionfruity]

To read between the lines your friend was expecting filipinos to be saint since we belong to a religious "as claimed" country. Cheating are possible anywhere and to anyone and being religious nor conservative wont spare an individual from opportunistic temptations.

And my answer for the question why do Filipino men cheat, its all because  Filipino men are no different from foreign men that do cheat.

[junetwentythree]

Naku. Isang damakmak na mga defensive Filipinos will post on here. Kesyo hindi sa culture yan, sa tao. Hindi sa religion yan, hindi lang Filipinos ang nagcheat.

And yet, you will notice the COUNTLESS threads here in GT from women who cry of their woes because of their philandering husbands.

The question here is why do Filipino men cheat? Simply, as some others have stated, because they can.

Filipino women are brought up by their religious views to believe in the sanctity of their marriage, despite their husbands' infidelity. Through thick and thin, through sick and sin. This is the Catholic way. So right away we can attribute this to religion, as the Philippines is considered a Catholic country (I didn't make this up...look it up). The good news is that Filipino women are quite keen on preserving the vows they've said before God. The bad news is that they also are more likely to be passive about their partners' philandering.

In foreign countries where religion does not play a huge part, divorce is more rampant. If cheating happens, things don't work out, one has the option to sign on that dotted line and close that chapter in their lives. In the Philippines, this is obviously not an option (well there's annulment but we all know how that goes). While it's really kind of a mockery of the sanctity of marriage to be able to get a divorce just like that, at least people have that option to get out of an unhappy relationship. 

It's different if cheating happens once and all is forgiven and the couple moves on. But because the Philippine society seem to accept the fact that men are philanderers (think Erap), then it just continues. For generations and generations. Wala eh. Sabi kasi nating mga babae, "ah eh ganyan talaga ang lalaki."

Ganon din ba sa mga foreigners? I can tell you from having grown up in the U.S. that the answer is NO. Excuse my language, but foreigners do not take that kind of crap.

So the short answer as to why Filipino men cheat is because Filipina women let them.

[carmilina]

^ very well said sis, yan then yun topic namin nun boy friend ko kanina, sabi nya, something like this, not exactly the words, dapat daw mas malakas pa ang loob nya na magloko dahil mas madmaing Good looking girls sa States pero, ano ginagawa nya uwi agad at kakausapin ako, hindi ng daw sya Gwapo enough na magloko pa....(tawa lang ako ng tawa)sabi ko magloko ka na! ayaw pa din! kasi naman yaw ko din mag madali sa relationship...inaaway ko lang para ala lag..hahahhaah

[Purple_Power]

So the short answer as to why Filipino men cheat is because Filipina women let them.

This is exactly true! ni kahit magboyfriend pa nga lang nangyayari na eh! Example here yung gf ng kaibigan ng bf ko. Her mentality is okay lang na lumandi ang boyfriend niya sa ibang mga babae bastat at the end of the day sa kanya siya uuwi.  What the hell! Hindi ba niya marespeto sarili niya? Pero ang nakakatawa run ginagawa na nga ng bf niya ang kaso mo punung puno naman siya ng insecurity sa mga nilalandi na ibang mga girls and yet inaaway pa niya bf niya because of that. Eh diba nga pinayagan niya? 

I want to stop the mentality of "ganyan talaga ang mga lalake" or "normal na yan sa mga lalake" and most of all "Boys will be boys" mentality. 

[karmark16]

I think whatever the reason may be, it's still not enough to justify cheating.

Cheating is always just a random act of SELFISHNESS, nothing else.

because when u cheat you only satisfy yourself.

[justin3]

mmm, what could be the reason kaya of Governor Arnie and President Bill for cheating on their wives?
how is it different sa reasons kaya ni Erap at ni Ramon Revilla (Sr & Jr)?
and to think that Aling  Maria and Hillary have strong personalities eh?
were they dumb enough not to find out the extra curricular activities of their hubbies?
yes, Maria got her divorce after hundreds of days, yet Hillary is still living with Bill.

what?! the US Secretary of State a martyr?
parang si Aling Loi at si Lani rin ano?

[SimpleBeauty08]

probably the following reasons:

1. not contented
2. nagger si wife/gf
3. masyadong kampante na love siya ng partner niya at tatanggapin pa din siya kahit magloko siya in short t**** si gf/wife.
4. masyadong mabait si wife/gf o kaya naman martyr.
5. they saw the things that they're looking for from their partners other women.

*di po to theory lang, based sa experience ng mom ko, ng mga friends ko, etc. it sucks. 

[mooncake and leaves]

^^ not that politicians' cases should be discounted but the pressure and stress they face are significantly different from the average joe or juan. so it's kind of difficult to base assumptions on them.

but since you brought it up, that actually exemplifies what june23 was saying. in the US, politicians found guilty of infidelity could kiss their careers goodbye. in The Phils., the voters couldn't care less. as a whole, Filipinos don't SEEM to care as much. the typical Pinoy wife would forgive and forgive just as long as her husband goes home to her and does a fine job as a provider. for what's supposed to be a conservative country, we have a very warped sense of right and wrong.

another thing, the typical Filipino dude has unrealistic views of the people they want to be with. they want a young maria clara who can spin and hang from a pole. she has to be domesticated. if she earns her own, it can't be more than he makes. then they wake up and realize maria clara can't spin and can't do the dishes. Pinoy men like to make this distinction about women they want to marry and women they just want to have fun with. and Pinays love buying that argument. ok lang that he cheats/cheated kasi sa akin naman umuuwi. ok lang na madami siyang girls, ako naman DAW pinakamaganda at pinakamabait. ok lang, sila p*kp*k, ako hindi (on that note, never trust a man or a person who uses that term). these women are obsessed with winning, they don't even care about whether there's actually a prize. Filipinas buy a great deal of s*it just so they won't have to face the awful truth that maybe their partners don't love them and the men know this.