why am I feeling this way?

[sats]

hi girls...

way back in college theres this person who really became special to me...though I know that I dont see my future with him...i just wanted to be happy.He made me feel special, so beautiful..like  he was so proud of me ...I was quite transparent to him I told him  malabo maging kami...he would feel hurt..and avoid me...but after few days ito nanaman kami..We have the same group of friends kasi so It went on for 2 years...
then graduation came...kanya kanya na kami ng life, the He called and ask me...If payag ba daw ako pakasal sa kanya....and I immediately told him  NO!! ayaw ko...I didnt even feel any regrets that moment...parang in my mind...Im done with you (sama ko 'no)...ayaw ko na ng kalokohan na yan...then wala na kami communication for so many years
then One time  nagkita kami...but wala na talagang spark...I was like... ano ba yan bakit pa ako nagsayang ng time dati....my friends were quite shock with my reaction kasi I acted as if wala kaming pinagsamahan...
oh well....again years have past...when I was checking my fb...I saw his name is my barkada's friendslist...then bigla akong kinabahan..wala naman nagbago sa itsura though I found out that he has a kid now...It felt different...
pero nagtataka naman ako na kung bakit di nya ako i-add sa fb  eh obvious naman na nakikita nya yung name ko pag nagco-comment ako sa status ng mga friends ko....3 weeks have past all I do is look at his wall ...im waiting for him to add me...pero ayaw niya I sent him a private message, kinakamusta ko lang naman siya but di sya nag reply...I just want to be his friend..I wanted to say sorry lang naman at napaka-immature ko dati...
Im married now and i've kids...but why is this affecting me so much..
Its hurting me na benabalewala niya ako

[sweety_paige]

Sis, after all the rejection na ginawa mo, I'm sure nasaktan din yung tao then baka nakarating na din sa kanya yung mga reaction mo na parang wala kayong pinagsamahan, ang sakit kaya nun.

Why bother to be his friend pa, hayaan mo na, you can pm him again and said sorry, yun nalang, baka kaya ka bother kasi na realize mo na nasaktan mo siya ng sobra.

[xxxloixxx]

2 keywords to solve your problem:
-forgiveness
-acceptance

First of all, you must forgive yourself for what you've done. You said you already asked for his forgiveness, that's it. Let him take his time. The important thing is you asked for it. Secondly, learn to accept things. If he doesn't want to be friends with you anymore, accept it. You can't impose and force friendship. Mukha namang both of you have moved on na kasi you both have families na. Siguro what you're feeling now is guilt. Just pray.

[pinkberries]

kasi may mga bagay na hindi na dapat binabalikan.  you subtly taught him this, hindi ba?.  obviously he's happy na.  it's just guilt sis, mawawala din yan. just pray and stop lurking his fb profile. 

[justin3]

FB na naman? i smell something messy is brewing here. here in GT alone, maraming cuentos of catfights and break-ups just because of FB-FS.
better stop sending messages sa kanya sis. the next possible thing na mangyari, you'll be exchanging cellphone numbers, sending texts messages, eyeballs/dates. boom!

if you can help it, better delete your account just like Charice. 

[twelve5]

Sis, when you tried to reach out to him, he ignored you. Whether he has valid reasons or not in doing so, you just have to accept it.

Why do you need to know who's the girl he ended up with? Why should it matter to you? When will your stalking and investigation end? Will satisfying your curiousity make you happier or worse?

IMO You're just putting yourself in harm's way. Get off facebook and move on with your life. You have a family who needs your attention. Focus your energy on those people who really matter in your life.

Eta:

Ps: sorry if you think im being harsh. Its just im afraid that you'll end up hurting yourself and your family. I dont think you need to rationalize pa why you're feeling the way you are. We all know that it wil not bring any good. And The mere fact that you can control this by yourself is enough na to put a stop to it before it escalates... Pray for guidance and good luck.

[sweety_paige]

Sometimes we don't need to know the answers to all of our questions, we just need to learn to accept that things happen.  God has his way, Trust him. 

What is it to you if you knew all the answers?  will it change a thing?  it will only hurt you more. 

[hisana]

And sis, no one is obligated to add anyone on facebook. Kahit sarili kong kamag-anak, kung ayaw ko i-accept ang request, it's my right. LOL!

Yeah, accept na lang. Baka gusto nya ng stress-free, happy memories lang. Let's give him that.

[twelve5]

There are people who cant be friends with their ex(es).

There are people who want bf-gf relationship or nothing.

So there.

[justin3]

sinong charice sis?

Pempengco... got rid of her FB the other day

if you can't get rid of your FB, be cautious. be very cautious.
baka di mo alam, your hubby is stalking you as well and that he knows your accounts and passwords. ganun rin ang wife nya.

[Serena.]

Hindi ka lang kasi sanay na yung dating habol ng habol sayo, ngayon e settled na. hayaan mo na sya sis , siguro kaya ayaw nya magreply e may nararamdaman pa sya para sayo.

[aquacharly]

You are  just used to  having him jump whenever you asked him to, figuratively.  Now that  he is keeping himself  out of your reach ... it's your Pride/Vanity  that is making you waste your time.

Friends? Who are you kidding, darling?  You want to feel you still have power over him.  Look, you could go  on for years with no communication, so it isn 't that friendship friendship ek ek.  It's not friendship you're after. ... But an ego massage. 

Whatever his reasons for ignoring you, respect it.  Don't go running after him, you aren't respecting yourself that way. 

The world is full of people to befriend, and get an ego massage from.  SO, leave him alone.  Stop wasting your time engaged in unproductive thinking like comparing yourself with his  wife -- Mas okay ba his wife na pinalit  nya sa yo?  Pinalitan ka ba? Hindi, hindi  ba -- you just intentionally drifted apart and grew  up.  Do not complicate Curiosity with Misplaced Competition.  Waste of time, impractical...

Leave sleeping dogs alone.  Your life is beautiful now, make it more so. 

[rhapzdee]

im new here kaya feeling ko wala akong right magreact hehe
anyway you said na feeling mo may mali di ba? to be honest mali talaga siya. both of you already have your own partners. ask yourself how would they feel if malalaman nila na ganyan kayo. even if mgdadahilan ka na friends lang kayo, mali pa rin eh kc may masasaktan kang tao. you're being unfair to your partner din eh.. what if he comes back to the country, i'm pretty sure isa sa inyo magyayayang makipagkita right?and then what?think of the possibilities that could happen if magkikita kayo?

[junetwentythree]

He's just basking in the attention you've given him. And you know it won't lead you anywhere good. There's nothing innocent about how you reached out to him...you really wanted him to reach back. Of course, any man would if a girl messages him a few times like that. Just think about this. Really sis? You have a family of your own. Why are you risking it?

[rhapzdee]

yes tama si junetwentythree . even it would take thousands of people to advise you, it's all up to you pa rin eh. i do hope na marealize mo na mali talaga